Superhuman Fight Club
by heroman45
Summary: Heroes and villains from every dimension have one thing in common. They love beating the hell out of each other. In a fight with no rules, who is left on top? Newest Round: Deadpool takes on the Joker, with a supernatural twist.
1. Bats, Skulls, and a Bad Joke

**Superhuman Fight Club**

**Heroes and villains from every dimension have one thing in common. They thoroughly enjoy beating each other up. Whether they protect the streets in shadows, stand tall as a symbol of heroism, thrive off of stealing from the less fortunate, or let out a maniacal laugh as they slaughter the innocents, all fight for what they believe in. But the question is, in a fight with no rules, who is left standing? We will take various versions of these characters from any and all realms of media to see if we can find an answer. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**AN: ** This particular chapter is a redo of the already existing fight. For those just joining in, congratulations you missed my worst chapter. In Superhuman Fight Club we breakdown famous fictional characters, and them give them the chance to fight it out to see who the superior combatant is. Every effort is made to avoid bias and give a good fight.

AN2: Just realized I posted the rough draft by mistake, this is the final product.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Alright folks, welcome to Superhuman Fight Club! For today's matchup some of the darkest vigilantes in comics will go head to head to prove which of the two is best at bashing up street thugs. Coming from DC is one of the three most popular comic book characters published to date. At a young age, Bruce Wayne witnessed a gun man shoot down both of his parents, sending him on a downward spiral that would result in the boy recreating himself into a vigilante so skilled, even his shadow strikes fear into the hearts of criminals everywhere. The Dark Knight, the World's Greatest Detective, the one and only Batman!

To make up for his lack of superpowers, Batman has developed himself to be the absolute peak of human potential. He is capable of bench pressing a 1000lbs, and has mastered over 100 forms of martial arts. Speaking as someone who has taken martial arts myself, I call BS on that particular feat. It is quite literally impossible to do in a single lifetime, but on the other hand I'm not batman.

Batman is one seriously skilled man, generally considered to be the 7th most skilled fighter in all of the DC universe. When he isn't playing with little boys and girls in tights, Batman is out on the streets taking down all sorts of criminals. His opponents range from the common street thugs to powerful meta-humans. He is one of the Justice Leagues best tacticians, he has even made contingency plans for every single league member. There is little that the Bat is not prepared for.

Bruce has also developed many various gadgets, developing them as he progressed through his career. His arsenal is vast, so he will only be bringing in what is most typical of him in this fight, meaning his standard utility belt gear. This includes plastic explosives, nerve toxins, batarangs, smoke bombs, a fingerprint kit, a cutting tool, a grappling hook gun, and a re-breather. While not all of these are combat based, they have all served the Caped Crusader well over the years, saving his life in numerous occasions. Finally, he has the always famous Batmobile, the high speed armored car that Batman uses to travel around the city and subdue criminals, which is loaded with all kinds of fun toys.

Despite all of Batman's many skills and abilities, he has one critical weakness. He is completely human, he does not have the speed, durability or strength to go up against the majority of the super powered beings in fiction. When against normal humans he is one of the best in the business, however he needs specialized gear and time to prepare for the majority of his foes. Even the common street thug is capable of injuring him, bullets can hurt or kill the Batman just as easily as a normal man. That's why he wears his armored suit, it is designed to be able to block or at least resist most conventional small arms weapons. Which is a really good thing considering who he is going up against.

Coming from Marvel is the anti-hero with one of the highest body counts in comic book history. Frank Castle was a US marine, trained to be a master martial artist, tactician, marksmen, and stealth operator. After his wife and two children were murdered in the crossfire of a mob war, Castle dedicated his life punish every single criminal he came across. He hunted down gangs, slaughtering them by the dozen to make every single one of them pay for their crimes. He is driven by an extreme desire to protect the innocent, similar to the many other vigilantes of the comic world. However, unlike most other heroes, Castle has absolutely no issue with killing the criminals that plague his city. He forged himself into the skull wearing death dealer known as the Punisher.

The Punisher specializes in a variety of guns, ranging from various types of pistols, assault rifles, sub machine guns, and snipers. He generally carries several grenades on his person, as well as a combat knife he uses when he wants to get close and bloody. Like Batman, he also has a high tech vehicle to aide in his pursuits, the heavily armed and armored Battle Van. While his skill level does not equal that of the Dark Knights, his lack of morals mean that he will be far more likely to be use crippling or fatal techniques. This could be a deciding factor for the battle, as the Bat will never deal a mortal blow.

So in the end, will superior skill and non-lethal equipment be able to overcome the lethality of one of the most skilled killers in comics? Is the detective's armor and agility good enough to keep him from getting shot full of holes? Can Castle stand up to the superior mind that is the Dark Knight? Let's find out. Here we go!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When a bunch of thugs began killing off large groups of Boston mobsters, Frank Castle took notice. Initially the Punisher avoided large confrontations with the new gang, instead snatching members while they were alone in the middle of the night. He forced as much information as he could get from them as possible, and then killed them when they were no longer useful. He was not liking the picture they were painting for him.

A crime boss known as the Joker was apparently attempting to spread his particular brand of chaos out of Gotham and into neighboring large cities. The vigilante Batman had managed to stop the Joker's various attempts at either taking over or destroying the city, so now the lunatic was planning on spreading his influence farther out so the Bat would be unable to counter at every location. Despite the disturbing body count the clown had racked up, Gotham's protector seemed incapable of making the hard choice and ending his reign. Something would have to be done.

After finding and questioning one of the higher ranked clowns, the Punisher was able to locate the gang's main base of operations in the city. He found them in a small apartment complex in the shadier part of the city, around 40 men gathered together around a large table waiting for some sort of meeting to start. The anti-hero had taken position on a rooftop opposite of the meeting place, the Battle Van parked on the road below. A high powered sniper rifle aimed down at the collection of criminals, not a single member knowing that they were a hair-trigger from death. Then Castle pulled the trigger.

A series of rockets were fired from the Battle Van in quick succession, 5 in total spreading out and obliterating a massive portion of the wall. As the few survivors struggled to get to their feet or draw their weapons, a sharp crack sounded and one of the survivors fell to the ground with a hole in his head. Several more followed and every clown except one was shot dead. The unfortunate survivor was instead shot in the leg, causing him to cry out in pain as he tried to crawl away. A hand fell on his shoulder and spun him around, bring the scared man face to face with a giant skull. Nobody was left alive to hear him scream.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The "volunteer informant" had been quite useful before he had unfortunately "passed away." He had been a local Gothamite and knew more of the ins and outs of the Joker's operations than the other men he had interrogated. There was no point in taking out all of the henchmen if the boss was capable of just sending more. The Joker was world famous, there would always be petty thugs willing to join his cause. The only way to stop his operation was to take down the Clown Prince of Crime himself. Franks Castle left Boston in his rearview mirror as he plugged Gotham City into his GPS. It was time for the Joker to face punishment.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Bruce Wayne had just sent the last few guests of a dinner party out the door, ending his public charade as the playboy billionaire for the evening. Leaving Alfred to take care of clean up, Bruce proceeded to the grandfather clock that hid the entrance to the cave below. The Joker had been far more active in the last few weeks, and Batman was needed. Barbara was out of town helping Dick track down Black Mask, leaving Bruce as the sole line of defense between Gotham and its most insane inhabitant.

With the cowl pulled over his head, the Dark Knight drove the Batmobile into the city, intent on finding the clowns most recent hiding spot. He had been interrogating Joker gang members that he had picked up for over a week, and very slowly an idea of the madman's plan was taking shape. The clown's had been staying in touch with their boss through coded radio frequencies, however it appeared that they hadn't factored in that the World's Greatest Detective would be able to crack the code. The clown had taken refuge at an abandon building in the upper pier area. With any luck, he would be back in Arkham before the night was out.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The Joker watched the monitors as the easily recognizable black car pulled up to his hideout. His blood red lips were pulled back all the way in a maniacal grin.

"Ol' Batsie finally cracked that fake code of ours! I was getting worried that he would never show up for the party! I was starting to think that I made the code a little too hard for the poor guy. But if I made it too easy, well then he would have realized that it was a trap and all my party favors would have gone to waste! Now let the games begin!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Frank Castle arrived at the Joker's lair two hours before sunrise. He had reached the city the night before and had spent his time prepping his weapons and hunting down more clowns. Over five dozen of them had lost their lives in the last 24 hours. The Punisher reached the entrance to the hideout and was surprised to see eight clowns badly beaten and unconscious around a black car that he recognized as belonging to the cities local crime fighter. Deciding to finish the man's job for him, Castle slit each one of the unconscious men's throats with his knife before moving inside.

He proceeded through swiftly, only pausing to finish off all of the Bats victims. While most were just lying on the ground, some ended up hanging from the rafters by their foot. Those Frank had to leave alive, as there was no way to take them out without wasting ammo. Finally he reached a large room where an insanely laughing man was wildly swinging a crowbar at a man in dark bat themed armor. The duo were squaring off once again after who knew how many encounters. After all of the death and misery the Joker had caused, all that would happen is that once again the Joker would be thrown into an Asylum to plan out his next attack. This time though, there was somebody else there that would prevent that from happening.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Batman ducked around a particularly wide swing from the Joker and was able to deliver a sharp uppercut directly into the lunatics jaw. The clown went sprawling to the ground, unable to rise to his feet at last. The Dark Knight was just pulling out a set of handcuffs when he heard a shotgun being cocked. Spinning rapidly, Bruce launched off several batarangs deflecting the gun barrel and causing the blast to go wide. He sank into a ready stance as the man gunman glared at him. He lowered the weapon to his side and spoke out to Gotham's defender.

"Step aside, I don't intend to kill you. I'm just here for the clown." Batman's eyes narrowed as he stepped towards the gunman, approaching slowly with both of his hands out in front of him in a gesture of non-hostility.

"I don't know what this man has done to you, but I don't allow killing in my city. He will be transported to the asylum where-"

"Where he will break out and kill even more people. You can't honestly believe that you are helping anyone by letting this freak live! The longer he stays on the streets, the more innocents end up dead. All of their blood is on your hands for not finishing this murderer off years ago! I'm here to fix your mistake for you! Now step aside or get blown away!"

"That's not going to happen." As the Punisher rose his gun once more, the Dark Knight dove in, knocking the gun to the side and delivering a powerful punch to just below Castle's solar plexus. A brief hiss of air escaped through the Punisher's teeth before he countered with a jab of his own. Batman swayed out of the way, knocking the attack to the side with his elbow before driving it into the Punisher's side. Castle turned his backward stumble into a roll, gaining enough distance from the Caped Crusader to be able to draw his sidearm. The Punisher fired from the hip, his entire clip speeding through the air.

Batman dived sideways to avoid the shots. Despite his agility, several of the bullets slammed into his side, bruising Bruce through the armor. As he returned to his feet, the Dark Knight was immediately forced onto the defensive as the Punisher charged at him, a large knife cutting through the air towards the Bat's vulnerable neck. Bruce used the spiked guards on his arm to block the blow, the steel unable to get through the tough material of the body armor. Castle kicked Batman backwards, and the two squared off once more. They stared at each other, looking for an opening. Then just before they lunged forwards, an insane laugh cut into the silence.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Joker had woken up in time to see the Punisher's bullets fail to get through his eternal adversary's armor. Now that the two fighters were still once more, the clown threw back his head and laughed.

"Oh this is just too good! I just knew you cared Batsy my friend! Fighting to save little old me from the big bad skull guy. But don't worry, I won't let you have all the fun, that would be rude." Joker's playful tone dropped away, a deeper, more sinister voice taking shape instead.

"I'm always ready for playtime." In a flurry of motion, the Joker first pulled out a small revolver from his purple overcoat, firing into Batman's chest and knocking him onto the ground. Less than a second later the clown threw a small knife directly into the Punisher's shoulder, causing him to drop his gun and clutch the wound in pain. Joker dashed forward, smashing Castle's jaw with a crowbar before he ran out the door. Bruce got to his feet and followed swiftly behind, intent on keeping the insane killer from escaping once more.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Joker was riding shotgun in a purple clown themed sports car. He leaned out the window firing off bullets at passing cars and civilians on the street. Closely behind the cackling psycho was the Batmobile, engine roaring as it gained ground in the pursuit. The Joker's vehicle began firing off small rockets, oil slicks, and exploding pies behind in an effort of shaking the Caped Crusader. Instead, Batman was able to dodge the majority of the weapons as other vehicles took the hits instead. Batman gritted his teeth in frustration, if wouldn't be able to save every single person in the area, the Joker was firing off to many of his toys. Worse, if the Dark Knight stopped to help the civilians then the Joker would get away and be free to continue his killing spree uninhibited. Maybe that gunman had a point… but no. Batman doesn't kill; he wasn't some rebel who went around killing people to try to make the world a better place. If he started killing, he'd never stop. So with guilt eating at his mind, Batman continued forward after the psychotic killer.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Battle Van's engines were roaring as Frank Castle struggled to catch up to the other two cars. As he drove by the flaming ruins of pedestrian vehicles and the blood covered corpses spread out around the street, a dark red haze of rage covered his vision. He had told Batman that the blood would be on his hands if he didn't finish the clown off. Now it was literally covering the streets. If only the fool had listened, these people would all still be alive. How many lives would be saved if he had just taken the psycho out the very first time they had clashed? Hundreds of people could still be walking the world with their families if the clown was out of the equation.

The Bat's car came into view seven blocks ahead, with the clown a further 3 down the road. Flipping a switch on the dashboard, the Punisher activated a massive mounted machine gun concealed in the car. Locking onto his target, he fired off a series of quick bursts at the Batmobile's tires, destroying one of them and killing the car's speed. Then with another switch, the Punisher fired off a homing missile at the escaping purple car. The car apparently had tricks of it's however, as a pie was launched out of the back window. It collided with the missile, causing both to explode in midair. The explosion was apparently close enough to damage the getaway car, sending it skidding off of the main road and down an alleyway. As the Batmoblie struggled over to the area, Castle could see the clown jump out of his car, shoot the driver, and begin climbing up a fire escape to the rooftops above.

Batman jumped out of his car and began to pursue the laughing madman up the building, followed closely behind by the Punisher himself. Batman grappled up the building, reaching the top at the same time as the Joker. Lacking similar equipment, Castle was forced to rush up the fire escape. He reached the top just in time to see Batman and Joker collide in a barrage of blows. Reaching to his back, the Punisher pulled out an assault rifle, aimed down the scope, and fired.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The Joker had timed his arrival to the rooftop perfectly, he had been in just the right place to catch Batman across the face with his crowbar.

"Recognize this Batsie? This is the same weapon that I killed Boy Blunder 2.0 with! Doesn't it just bring back memories?" The Joker tried to swing again, only for Batman to grab his wrist and twist the weapon away. Then Batman cut loose, laying nearly a dozen powerful punches to the clowns face and torso. The clown tried to counter with a swipe from his knife, but the blow was easily swept away. Just as the Dark Knight was about to finish the fight three sharp cracks sounded in the air. Both fighters turned to see the Punisher standing across the rooftop armed with an assault rifle. Then both looked down to the Joker's chest in time to see the dark stain rapidly growing right near the man's heart.

"Hahahahuurrrchkt…." The Joker's laugh was cut off as his own blood began to fill his lung. He took a few stumbling steps before falling to his knees. His eyes turned towards the Dark Knight, and Batman was surprised, he didn't look afraid, if anything, he looked annoyed and disappointed.

"Damn it Batsy…It was supposed to be you who killed me… should of… known you'd screw it up… Hehe, its… kind of funny…ah well… s-see you in hell…Batsy."

Their eyes locked for a brief moment, seeming to convey a very unlikely emotion. Batman had always guessed that on some level, the Joker loved the Batman for being his counterpoint, the one person in the world that could balance out his madness. Then the look faded as the clown's eyes went dim and he collapsed face first into the ground. There was a brief grunting sound as the Joker's final breath exited his body, and then he was still.

Batman wasn't sure how he should be feeling at that moment. On one hand, he felt a sense of profound relief that he would never again have to worry about the madman escaping custody and threatening his family. His family, Gotham, and even the world itself had just become safer now that the lunatic had left this plane of existence. However, another part of Batman felt nothing but rage and sorrow that once again he had been helpless to stop a shooter directly in front of him. His mind flashed back to his six year old self as he witnessed his family be murdered in front of him. He remember how he had promised that never again would he allow that to happen on his watch. Now though, it seemed he had come full circle, failing to help his enemy just as he had failed to help his parents all those years ago. In a span of seconds that seemed like years, Bruce's two rationales argued with one another, trying to decide just how he should be feeling. Then one prevalent thought rose above the rest. The Joker had been killed. He had been killed by a gun. The gun belonged to the Punisher. The Punisher had shot the gun. The Punisher was a murderer. Batman stopped murderers.

A series of smoke pellets erupted on the ground, covering the rooftop and preventing Punisher from being able to take aim at the Caped Crusader. Batman then fired off a grappling line, knocking the Punisher off balance and ripping the gun from his hands. This bought the Dark Knight exactly 1.5 seconds to move in before the anti-hero recovered. Once within range Batman grabbed onto the Punisher's wrist with one hand, and then used the other to deliver a bone crushing shot to the Punisher's elbow. Castle grunted in pain before swinging out with his other hand in a roundhouse punch. Seeing the strike long before it hit, Batman ducked underneath and countered with an uppercut to the jaw. The Punisher stumbled backwards, his arm still flailing uselessly. With his remaining arm he pulled out his knife once again.

The blade swung in a deadly arc, aiming for the same exposed portion of Bruce's face as before. This time Batman was slower to react and received a thin bloody gash around his chin. As the Punisher went in for a follow-up stab, the Dark Knight jabbed his thumb into the knife wound in left from the Joker. The move caused Frank to cry out in pain before his jaw was slammed shut with another punch. Blood trailed out of his mouth from where he had bitten through his tongue. Then with a final move, Batman attached a wire to the Punisher's leg and kicked him over the side of the roof. The anti-hero hung five stories over the street in a semi-conscious daze from the beating he had received. The Dark Knight surveyed the damage to the streets below him before spinning around, causing his cape to flutter as he moved over towards the body of his worst enemy.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

1 month later

A ghostly pale man stood staring at Wayne manor, staying out of sight at the mansions perimeter. A large hat and trench coat hid his appearance. Nodding to himself, the figured turned away and looked out over the city.

"Hahahahaha….."


	2. Hulk VS Doomsday

**Superhuman Fight Club**

**Heroes and villains from every dimension have one thing in common. They thoroughly enjoy beating each other up. Whether they protect the streets in shadows, stand tall as a symbol of heroism, thrive off of stealing from the less fortunate, or let out a maniacal laugh as they slaughter the innocents, all fight for what they believe in. But the question is, in a fight with no rules, who is left standing? We will take various versions of these characters from any and all realms of media to see if we can find an answer. **

This round is going to be a battle of titans, big angry super strong titans.

Under the banner of Marvel is the king of smash, the self-proclaimed strongest there is, the Indestructible, Incredible HULK. Bruce Banner was exposed to the radiation of an experimental gamma bomb as he attempted to save the life of a young Rick Jones. This exposure lead to him becoming the giant green rage machine known only as the Hulk.

Hulk's maximum strength levels are still unknown, however at the time of his initial transformation his strength starts off around 80 tons. This is only if the Hulk remains calm however, for as the angrier the Hulk gets, the higher his strength level becomes. In addition to his incredible strength, Hulk also boasts an incredible amount of durability, capable of surviving bolts of lightning thrown by Zeus himself. This durability is supported by an extremely potent healing factor, comparable to, and possibly surpassing that of Wolverine.

Finally, when Banner and the Hulk's personalities are able to become fully in sync, Hulk's strength level receive a massive boost, as well as giving the usually mindless brute access to all of the intelligence as his mild mannered alter ego. While like this, Hulk can release all his rage at once. This allows him to enter World Breaker mode, an enhanced level of his strength capable of shattering tectonics plates with a stomp of his foot. However this mode is extremely risky to use, as Hulk can end up losing all control over himself and risks destroying the planet. But the question is, can the Hulk prevail over a monster as savage as he is?

Representing DC is a monster so powerful that it has been able to stalemate various versions of the Justice League. His main claim to fame though, is that he is the only villain who successfully "killed" the Man of Steel in the main continuality.

If that hasn't given him away yet, then prepare for the murderous monster from Krypton, "The Ultimate" Doomsday!

Doomsday is a monster who only knows to kill, and is one of the best there is at the business. In his first outing in comics, he slaughtered hundreds of Green Lanterns with ease, killed a Guardian, easily beat down a team from the Justice League, and fought Superman to a draw that resulted in both characters being thought dead.

Doomsday is a brutal monster that has a sharp, crystal like armor covering his body, preventing damage. He also has super strength that can rival Superman's, an adaptability that allows him to resist anything attempting to harm him, and a healing factor that is arguably on the same level as the Hulk.

During a battle with a superhero named Steel, Doomsday developed the ability to fly, (because that's how that works) however he mainly uses it for travel, preferring to go toe to toe with his opponents

After all, it's hard to pound someone into the ground when you are, in fact, in the sky.

While Doomsday does have limits, they are so ridiculously high that most opponents will fall well before even getting a glimpse at them.

Two massive monsters capable of leveling cities, both with rage enough to fuel a red lantern ring for centuries. Almost unequaled in their own realm. But when these behemoths collide, only one will be walking away.

Will the Hulk prove himself to truly be the strongest there is, or will Doomsday be able to add another tally to the number of superhuman corpses he has left in his wake?

Well, the Avengers show up too, but they kinda get pounded. We will be starting this fight off in New York City, but you can bet it won't be contained just there. The entire Earth is the battlefield for this fight.

Here we go!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Centuries ago, long before today's New York was even dreamed of by man, a tear in time and space opened up thousands of miles above the blue and green planet called Earth. Caught in the planets gravity, a casket of an unknown metal was pulled from this tear and plummeted to the surface below.

No living creature was around as the casket crash landed, leaving a crater a quarter mile around with nothing as witness to its existence.

Decades past, the planet shifted, and the casket sunk just beneath the surface, just out of sight of any who may wander by. Unknown to the world, a being of immeasurable power struggled against near unbreakable bonds.

For every hour of every day the being struggled to free itself. Years bleeding into each other as it struggled, only measuring the time by the growing rage at its inability to escape. Until one day, the restraint the restraint let out the slightest moan.

Red eyes opened wide, and the struggles momentarily ceased.

Then with a grin and a final burst of effort, the restraint shattered. Quickly ripping itself free completely, the monster then went to work on the casket itself, tearing into it and then tunneling upwards.

A massive gray clawed hand broke through the surface of the ground, pulling up a spike covered body with it. The beast looked around, observing its surroundings outside of the prison for the first time.

Another planet, similar to the one it had been exiled from before. Another planet full of life for the monster to enjoy extinguishing. Except this time, there was no man in a spandex suit to combat him. This time, the inhabitants of the planet would learn to fear the wrath of Doomsday.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Bruce Banner pulled the hood lower over his head, looking around yet again to make sure that he was not recognized. The large dark sunglasses, bulky sweatshirt, and the beginnings of a beard hopefully would prevent any of the citizens from the Big Apple from recognizing the man who had lead an alien invasion against the Earth.

Nobody cared that his reasons had been somewhat understandable, what did they care that the Hulk had been unfairly forced into outer space? What did they care that he had been an Avenger, one of the world's most powerful protectors until just prior to the event? He had attacked Earth, just like so many other villains, and he deserved to be locked up or killed.

It would be a long time before the public's opinion on Hulk went back to the way it was before the Civil War. He would need to do something big, single handedly saving the entire planet big.

Bruce let out a quiet sigh as he continued down the sidewalk. That was part of the reason he was in the city to begin with. His cousin Jen, the Sensational She-Hulk, had asked him to come in to talk about a project she was working on. Jen's hope was that she would be able to use some of her connections with the people she had worked for as a lawyer to begin a P.R. campaign to put the Hulk back under a positive light.

With General Thunderbolt Ross launching yet another manhunt for him, because that had worded so well before. Bruce figured that some positive limelight could be just what he needed.

As Bruce rounded the last corner to his cousins business, the screaming began.

"The Hulks attacking!"

"Run for your lives!"

"He'll kill us all!"

The Doctor pressed himself into the side of the building to dodge the wave of incoming people sprinting past him. Behind them was a freshly made crater, still smoking from the impact. A hulking brute stood in the center, letting out a primal roar as it held up the shattered Hulk Buster Iron Man armor, Tony Stark's unconscious form just barely visible within.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Upon freeing himself, Doomsday had immediately flew upward, getting altitude to find the first thing for him to destroy. From several miles up in the air, the beast could see many suburban areas, leading up to a massive city in the distance.

So many people to kill, and all the time in the world to do so.

The Krytonian beast angled itself downward, using gravity to increase his speed until he smashed through the largest building of the closest population center. Everyone was squished, either by the impact itself or the shockwave that spread out of it. The people surrounding the building looked on with horror at the smoking ruins, screams of panic beginning as the giant figured emerged from the smoke cloud. Letting out a massive roar, Doomsday charged forward at the citizens.

The streets soon ran red with blood.

About twenty minutes into the genocide of the human race Doomsday encountered his first form of resistance. A circular object flew forward and bounced off of the beast's thick hide. The blow dealt no actually pain, however it warranted enough interest from Doomsday to throw away the human he had been using as a club, and turn to face his challengers.

Four figures stood before him, the man with the red white and blue disk, a woman with short blonde hair in a red uniform, floating next to another women long dark hair going down the back of her yellow and red suit. However the one that drew Doomsdays attention was the giant metal man, the red and gold machine of equal size to Doomsday himself.

"So much for a crazy Hulk attack. It looks like I brought out the Hulk buster for nothing," the metal man stated, arrogance in his superiority all too obvious to the alien.

The disc man stepped forward. "This is the part where I would normally give you a warning to surrender. However, seeing how you are attacking the people here, I think we are already beyond that. So instead… AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!" With the battle cry the man let the disc fly once more towards the beast, only for the creature to catch the weapon with only the smallest of effort. With a grunt Doomsday hurled the shield back towards its source slamming into the man with more force than it had ever moved with before. There was a sickening crack, and the man bounced backwards along the ground, his ribs badly broken with no signs of consciousness.

The brunet women let out an angry yell, charging forward with energy attacks blasting out of her outstretched hands. Doomsday took the blast with no discomfort, darting forward himself to meet the enraged female. A single backhand from his massive fist was all it to send her flying across the street through the brick wall of the building opposite. She would not wake until long after the fight had been decided.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Carol Danvers, the superhero known as Captain Marvel turned away from where she and Iron Man had been trying to revive Captain America to see her best friend taken down just as easily as her leader.

Screaming in fury, Danvers burst forward, fists flying, staggering the beast before it had a chance to turn to face the new challenger. Dodging a clumsy swing from her enemy, Captain Marvel took to the sky, drawing every bit of power her Kree fused body possessed. She sent forth a barrage of energy blasts. After a full minute, Carol paused from her assault, peering into the smoke to see any sign of movement.

She had no time to react as the monster flew out of the smoke, slamming his fist into her stomach. The strike would have sent her flying for miles had the monster not grabbed her leg, halting her momentum. She had just enough time to see Stark flying forward, all weapons firing, before the beast swung both arms and sandwiched her face in a massive thunderclap. She fell away, her vision not darkening fast enough to prevent her from seeing the beast start tearing into Iron Man.

As Stark was thrown towards New York City, her vision went black.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Bruce Banner was working hard to keep his anger under control, there was no telling what would happen if the Hulk went up against this thing in the middle of New York. If it had taken Iron Man that easily then it was a force to be reckoned with, and the collateral damage of one of Hulk's rampages might just destroy any remaining hope of redemption. The other Avengers would undoubtedly be arriving any second to get a handle of the situation

Except… nobody was here, and people would be hurt if he DIDN'T get involved. Steeling himself, Banner prepared to let the beast within him loose once more. Staring straight at the monster in an attempt to guide and aim Hulk, Bruce was treated to the sight of his cousin's massive green fist slamming into the back of the monsters head. The monster faltered slightly, allowing She Hulk to continue her attack with a brutal barrage of punches. Jen wore a confident grin as she pressed her advantage, a grin that quickly disappeared when a spiked gray fist closed around her own.

She only had time to widen her eyes before a hand was wrapped around her throat, beginning to squeeze. Struggling vainly, She Hulk was to oxygen deprived to even be surprised when the monster spoke. The deep, raspy growl invaded her ear "This planet needs to know, its end is near. Nobody can stop the coming extinction. I am Doomsday, and there is nobody on this worthless dust ball strong enough to stop me from wiping out every single one of you."

"NO! NOBODY STRONGER THAN HULK!" Doomsday barely had time to turn his head before the green goliath delivered a massive uppercut, the shockwave from the blow shattering every piece of glass in a three block radius.

The Krytonian was sent flying, smashing through several buildings before crashing into the streets. She Hulk struggled to her feet, attempting to aid her cousin. Hulk held out an arm before her, halting her forward movement. "No. Little green girl stay out of fight. Not strong enough. Hulk strong enough. HULK SMASH STUPID GRAY MAN!" With that, Hulk turned, his massive legs propelling him into the air after Doomsday, leaving his cousin behind to pray that New York would still be standing when the Hulk was done.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Doomsday removed himself from the concrete in time to hear the green beast's battle cry. The grey monster immediately took flight, angling himself to slam into the Hulk. Both drew back their arms and let out powerful strikes towards one another.

Doomsday struggled only briefly before he was able to completely overwhelm the Hulks attack, sending him careening sideways to crash in the middle of Central Park. Hulk didn't even have time to stand before Doomsday was upon him again, throwing punches that drilled the Hulk into his own personal crater in the ground.

The spiked crystals on Doomsdays knuckles tore into the Hulks flesh, leaving massive wounds oozing blood all over his body. Satisfied with leaving the transformed scientist to bleed out. Doomsday stepped out of the crater and began to walk away.

He hadn't gone 10 steps yet when he heard movement behind him. Red eyes turned to see a green figure emerge from the crater, wounds closing together as though they had never been there to begin with. The veins of the Hulk all visibly swelled, his rage from the beating had received increasing his power to even greater levels. His face twitched into a smirk as he squared off with the murder machine once more. "YOU HIT HULK! NOW HULK SMASH YOU!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The ground burst open as a man in a red uniform burst from the ground. Twin kat- "You know author guy, you're dealing a fourth wall shattering badass. I don't need any introductions! Deadpool is in the house baby! Alright I'm ready for my big fight, where is that furry little hell spawn?"

The Merc with a Mouth paused as he finally took in his surroundings, he was not alone. There was the Hulk and another giant grey thingy on either side of him, both looking at him like he had interrupted something. While they stared at him in silence, he slowly reached into his pocket and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. On the top of the paper you could just barely make out the word 'script'.

He began to scan it muttering to himself "I'm early aren't I? Stupid script, if I could have my yellow boxes in this story then this kind of thing would never happen!" Looking between the two fuming monsters, the lunatic was hit with he could only assume was a good idea.

Oh course it was a good idea! It was his idea! One hundred percent Deadpool approved.

"Hey guys do you want some spoilers on how this is going to go down? It's it pretty badass! Doomsday is totally going to-" Deadpool never had a chance to finish his spoiler as the author had both titans, in a moment of perfect coordination, turn to punch the mercenary in the face. Both quietly watched him fly out of sight, right as he disappeared they saw a tiny red gleam. They looked at each other in silence, and the Hulk promptly punched Doomsday in the face.

The fight was on.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Doomsday wasted no time in grabbing the Hulk and throwing him into the air. The Kryptonian flew after him and started pummeling him. Doomsday flew around slamming the Hulk, knocking him for miles with each blow, the Hulk's own momentum working against him, making it difficult to counter attack.

Eventually though, Hulk was able to grab Doomsday, both ending up tumbling towards the ground. The two impacted in the middle of the Sahara Desert, the force of the impact blowing away the dunes.

Hulk took noticeably longer to get to his feet than Doomsday, his wounds closing at a sluggish pace. His anger surpassed that of the many times he had faced down the Abomination, but despite similar appearances, Doomsday far surpassed the Hulk's favorite sparring partner.

It was this realization, along with the thought of his injured cousin half a world away, that Bruce Banner's own anger joined with the Hulk's creating a singularity of focus and rage.

He smirked. "You're in trouble now. My mind, the Hulk's power, joined together once more. I feel even stronger than the last time this happened. You really gone and pissed me off, thinking you can get away with attacking people as you please. In other words, HULK SMASH!"

The green goliath threw himself at Doomsday, dodging a clawed slash and then landing a devastating hit into Doomsday's stomach. Hulk continued to swing, dodge, and counter, still taking hits but now giving out far more in return.

With a savage cry, the Hulk wrenched Doomsday's arm, snapping the bone inside so that it ripped through the monster's arm. A final haymaker sent Doomsday into the ground, tumbling away from the raging beast.

Hulk eyed him wearily, waiting for his wounds to finish closing before jumping back into the fray.

However, this was a mistake, as it allowed Doomsday's own healing factor to go to work. The beast shoved the bone back into place, holding the wound while it sealed. In a matter of seconds it appeared as though neither combatant had suffered even the slightest wound the entire fight.

The only way to gauge the amount of damage done was to compare their breathing, Hulk having a harder time to catch his breath than his opponent. Doomsday cocked his head to the side as he regarded his opponent.

"Is that it?" he scoffed. "You're slightly tougher than expected, but you're no god! I'm done playing, time to die!"

Hulk barely had time to register the words before Doomsday was upon him, striking him harder than even Sentry was capable of. Hulk wasn't even given time to fly away from the force of the blow, Doomsday continued after him, attacking him relentlessly.

The two crossed miles of open desert as the continued to trade blows, but even with the boost in strength, even with the intelligence of Banner behind him, the Hulk could not keep up. Doomsday was continuing to hit harder with each blow, and eventually it would reach the point where his healing factor couldn't keep up.

If this kept up, Hulk would eventually fall.

Sentry was being treated for his insanity, the Silver Surfer was in space, and the Sorcerer Supreme was in another reality dealing with an Armageddon. Thor could possibly be called from Asgard, but even he might not win this fight on his own. Thor would have to resort to a God blast, running the risk of destroying the planet.

Hulk let out a cry of pain as Doomsday buried one of his spikes deep into the Hulk's body. His cry was quickly cut off as Doomsday grabbed him by the throat, flying high into the air and throwing the Hulk down like a meteor to the ground below.

The impact shook the continent itself, burying the Hulk more than a mile beneath the surface. Doomsday hung in the air for a brief period before grinning and flying off into the distance.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Hulk woke up shortly after his foe had left, staggering out of the hole, barely moving as his healing factor once again saved his life.

No matter what the Hulk did, the planet was at risk of total annihilation unless Doomsday was stopped. It would take something that risks the planets destruction to be a match. Both minds made up and in agreement, the Hulk jumped into the sky once more.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Doomsday stood in the shattered remains of a small African village, bodies sprawled out around him in random directions. Nobody young or old had been allowed to escape. Doomsday had taken a moment out him rampage to devour some of the food still in the village.

He was still eating when the Hulk landed feet first on the monster's head. Hulk jumped back, giving himself some distance from his opponent as Doomsday stood, hatred in his eyes. "Thought you were dead for sure that time. This time I'll do a better job. I'm gonna rip off your head and eat it. That way I'll be sure that you're gone for good, and you will have learned your place. For I am the strongest creature to ever live." Doomsday was surprised to see a smile on the green goliath's face at this remark.

"You're strong, make no mistake. Nobody else on this planet could match up." As Banner spoke, a green glow surrounded the Hulk, the energy pulsing. His muscles expanded even greater than before, and the ground trembled for miles as he took a step forward. "You made a mistake though, calling yourself the strongest. You see…HULK IS THE WORLD BREAKER, AND HULK IS THE STRONGEST THERE IS!"

The green pulse flash as the Hulk swung his hands together, creating a thunderclap with a force that put any natural disaster the planet could produce to shame. Doomsday was knocked back in surprise, having never before experiencing a blow of that magnitude. Hulk wasn't anywhere close to done though, the two collided once more with the force of a nuclear bomb. Doomsday went to work attacking once more with his claws, only to gape at the sight of the wounds closing almost as quickly as they appeared.

Hulk's assault matched that of Doomsday's, neither giving an inch everything crumbled around them. Doomsday brought force the very maximum of his strength, intent on annihilating the green savage once and for all.

But the Hulk kept coming, the planet seeming to strain under the fight more than either combatants. However, no great fight can remain on equal footing forever. Eventually someone will slip, or someone will overpower the other. This critical point came to head when the Hulk's anger surpassed Doomsday's strength. Doomsday rapidly found himself losing ground, he was pushed back desperately attempting to keep up with the Hulk. The world breaker on the other hand, just continued to dive into his unlimited power supply, getting stronger and stronger.

With a final, brutal move, the Hulk ripped off one of the spikes on Doomsday's shoulder, flipped it around in his hand, and stabbed the grey beast straight through the next with it. He then grabbed the monster by the head, spinning several times to gain momentum before throwing Doomsday into space, on a direct course to crash into the sun. Not even he would be able to escape if he found himself trapped directly inside. Breathing heavily, the Hulk let the green aura around him dissipate into nothing, then shrank down to his normal, baseline size. Looking back down from the sky, the Hulk turned away victorious, ready to try and find a way back to New York.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Doomsday undoubtedly had the advantage with his superior durability, initial strength, and near infinite stamina. However, the difference between these two fighters is that one has clear limits, while the other literally has never been written to his maximum power. When it comes down to full strength, eventually the Hulk will always end up on top.

AN: Thanks to sturm and drang for Betaing and helping me with my Deadpool. Since I forgot before…

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER IN THIS STORY!

Thanks to all who read, please review and let me know of any other fights you guys want to see.


	3. High Voltage

**Superhuman Fight Club**

**Heroes and villains from every dimension have one thing in common. They thoroughly enjoy beating each other up. Whether they protect the streets in shadows, stand tall as a symbol of heroism, thrive off of stealing from the less fortunate, or let out a maniacal laugh as they slaughter the innocents, all fight for what they believe in. But the question is, in a fight with no rules, who is left standing? We will take various versions of these characters from any and all realms of media to see if we can find an answer. **

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

AN: This chapter was requested by a friend of mine, and seeing as how he is now my Beta, I figured I should probably get this one done next. This chapter is focusing on cartoon versions of these characters, mostly because they are my favorite version of said characters. For those that have been asking (seeing as how he is my most requested fighter) Peter Parker, the Amazing Spider-man will be making an appearance two chapters from now. I'm still trying to decide who I want to put him against so feel free to send me suggestions for that in either a review or PM. Finally, I've decided that some of these chapters are going to share a common world, while some are going to take place in different universes. It makes keeping track of continuity easier for me since I'm not limiting myself to just the comics. Only Fourth-wall breakers, mostly meaning Deadpool, are going to be able to jump around between the universes. This chapter takes place in the same universe as the second chapter.

Disclaimer: If I owned both Marvel AND DC, I would have more money than I would know what to do with, and I would I also have made this fanfic an actual comic. So obviously I don't own either. I do own my sense of humor and sense of violence, both of which should be visible in this story.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Welcome to the 3rd Round Fight of Superhuman Fight Club! Today we are going tech on tech, with some of the smartest characters from Marvel and DC. From DC and from Jump City, we have the hyperactive, super strong meat loving Cyborg! From Marvel's superhero packed New York we have the genius billionaire playbo-. **"Hold on a sec!" **Deadpool? Didn't I sic a couple of planet shattering behemoths after you? **"Yeah that was fun! I was an astronaut, highest up in orbit I've been punched yet! Anyways, did you forget? You kinda broke Stark in the last chapter. There is no way he is going to be able to fight! But don't worry, I found a replacement! You know that sparky guy my buddy Spidey is always fighting? I got him! I got Electro! Don't worry about how the fight gets started, just get Cyborg to the same place you were planning before, and I'll take care of the rest! Bye Bye! **

Ok…. Alright then representing Marvel, one of Spider-Man's most dangerous opponents, Max Dillon, ELECTRO! Alright onto the breakdown!

This Cyborg is coming straight out of the Teen Titans TV show, and if you don't know who this guy is, you've been living under a rock. This version of Cyborg comes in rocking shiny blue and grey metallic armor, along with his shiny bald head. He is physically the most powerful member of the team (unless Starfire gets hopped up on happy gas), and can transform his arms into sonic cannons. Almost every part of his body his detachable, and he can maneuver these parts with rockets to attack his foes. However, of all of the Titans he also has one of the biggest weaknesses. Cyborg runs on a super battery, and while it has enough power to last for hours at a time, if it gives out, it leaves Cyborg unable to use the majority of his weapons. However, Cyborg was able to partially overcome this issue in a confrontation with Atlas, while he still has a power limit, he is able to extend the length of time the charge will last with pure human spirit and determination!

A member of the currently winless villain's part of Superhuman Fight Club, Max Dillon is appearing straight from the screen of what is widely considered to be the best of the Spider-Man cartoons, Spectacular Spider-Man. This version of Electro is likely to be one of the more powerful versions of the character, having turned into pure energy contained into human form with the aid of a power regulating suit. He took a web slung cinderblock to the face with no visible reaction of pain, and for the majority of the show appears to be mostly immune to any sort of physical damage. In fact, the only ways Spidey was able to take this guy down in the show was to either throw him in at least Olympic sized swimming pool, or by containing him in some sort of nonconductive trap. However, like almost every version of the character, Electro is unintelligent and unimaginative, relying on other characters to give him instructions, as well as to how to best use his powers. But, to be fair, if I could blow stuff up like he could, I wouldn't spend much time plotting either. Despite the vast amounts of potential, Electro usually isn't more creative than just hurling lightning bolts. But in the end, it comes down to brains and brawn versus anger and sheer power. Can the technological superstar take down the electrical menace? Let's find out! Here we go!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The blue sports car dodged around the New York traffic better than any true New Yorker could ever hope to do. A popular Japanese band blasted the Teen Titans theme from the speakers, the sound waves so powerful they shook the windows of every apartment within in a block below the 4th floor. Even louder than that however, was the sound of the argument taking place from within the vehicle itself.

"I'm telling you man, you are underestimating the power of steak! Meat is the best thing in the world!" The once Victor Stone, star athlete turned cybernetic superhero had one hand on the wheel and the other trying to shove a giant hamburger down the throat of his companion.

"Dude, how many times do I have to tell you? I've turned into every single one of those animals you eat! I'm a vegetarian!" The green teen sitting in the passenger's seat was known as Beast Boy, the shape shifting jokester of the famous team.

"No man, I'm telling you, one bite of this baby and all thoughts of tofu will be gone from your mind forever!" With that, Cyborg was able to successfully shove a large part of the burger into the vegans protesting mouth. He immediately began coughing, and then spat the offending out of the window into the street.

"That's it! I'm getting out of here! I'm going to go find somebody that actually appreciates animals!" With that Beast Boy transformed into a green squirrel and dove out the window, heading in the direction of Central Park. Cyborg just stared out the window after his disappearing friends then shrugged, finishing off his burger. _Some people just don't appreciate a good thing_ he thought to himself as he continued driving. He wasn't going to let his best friend's disappearance distract him though. BB had run off before, but like the loyal animal he was, the green kid always came back. He was completely irrelevant for Cyborg's reasons for coming to the Big Apple anyways. The green kid had only come along so that he would not be in the tower when Raven found out that he had accidently turned all of her leotards from dark purple to a see through pink. Cyborg had taken a few minutes to increase security around the tower's lab, wanting to make sure Beast Boy never had the opportunity to play with those chemicals again. No, Cyborg's reason for coming was an invitation from the great inventor Tony Stark. Stark had seen the T-Car and had invited the Titan to present it in his "Future of the Automobile" car show. Stark had even said he would provide some of his own models to pose with the T-Car, making sure it stood on an equal playing field with the other cars in that regard. The winner of the contest, decided by a Ms. Pepper Pots, would receive a car of Starks own design, one not available for another 10 years. Stark's car was powered by a miniature arc reactor and utilized repulsor technology to maneuver and fly. If Cyborg could win, and then fuse this tech with that of his own car, then the T-Car would become the undisputed number one car on the planet! Not even the Batmobile could top that baby! Cyborg was practically drooling over the thought, and as he arrived at his destination, he could only imagine Robin's reaction to Cyborg surpassing the Bat in that regard.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Electro sat in a large easy car that the Doc had provided for him. Octavius was preparing for another scheme, one that would result in the death of the Web Slinging freak once and for all. For now though, all Electro had to do was sit back, relax, and make sure he didn't do anything that would attract attention. It was a good plan for Electro, ever since the accident that had ended his life as Max Dillon, unless you count prison time, he had little down time to speak of. The Green Goblin had set up every crime boss the city had to offer against one another, leaving him as the sole crime boss of the city. He had them promptly been defeated by the Wall Crawler, leaving a massive power vacuum in the city. When the Doc had all of the pieces in place, they would be ready to seize that vacuum, and then the city would be theirs. Then, finally unhindered, the Doc would help him try to regain his old life.

These were the thoughts passing through the villains mind until a red blur burst through the steel roof of the warehouse, smashing into the ground in a massive crater. Electro jumped out of his chair, his body suddenly glowing with power, ready to fire at a moment's notice. He shifted himself to see down into the crater, and was greeted by the sight of a crimson clad ninja pulling his body back together. Electro just gaped at the man who completely ignored him, instead muttering about stupid rage monsters, spoilers, an unappreciative author, and something about evil Chihuahuas. Finally he looked up.

"Maxie! You Pikachu wannabe! It's great to see you, I see Spidey got you hiding underground like a little bitch again." At this Electro glared at the intruder, roaring as he fired a massive bolt of electricity straight through the ninja's chest. The intruder just kept talking however, more gargling blood than speaking actual words, however the wound quickly closed and the ramblings of the madman continued.

"Your powers are as sharp as ever buddy, and you can bet that your good buddy Deadpool has some good information for you! See I was just checking around the internet as I plummeted back to Earth, and I saw that Spidey is hanging out at some sort of car convention in the middle of the city. He's talking up all the ladies and going on about how much of a bitch you are compared to his other baddies."

"HE WHAT! I'M GOING TO GO FRY THAT FREAK! HE IS GOING TO REGRET MOCKING ME! AND YOU!" Electro turned to Deadpool, power literally leaping from his body. "YOU'RE GETTING OUT OF MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW!" With that Electro let loose a massive sphere of electricity, propelling him away and out over the city. Electro then put on a trench coat over his power suit, a containment mask and a large saggy hat hiding his head. After making sure there was little chance of recognizing him until it was too late, Electro left the building and headed in the direction of the car show.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Cyborg eyed the competition around the lot. The judges had been greatly impressed by his car, and the only one that looked like it might have a chance against the T-Car was something from H.A.M.M.E.R. With a bit of luck his car would pull out on top. Victory was in sight, and as long as he didn't have any bad luck, he was most likely to come out on top.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

On the other side of the country, a young girl by the name of Jinx let out a loud sneeze. She absently scratched her nose, brushed back her pink hair, and turned back to the yellow clad speedster that was flirting with her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"WHERE ARE YOU SPIDER-FREAK?! I'M GOING TO FRY YOU FOR WHAT YOU SAID!" Electro blasted through the contest lot, electric bolts flying out in all directions destroying everything. Cyborg dived into a red haired women knocking her out of the way of a massive incoming burst. The air crackled above them where the blast had gone by. Cyborg quickly got to his feet, making sure the woman was able to run to safety. He looked back just in time to see a giant lightning bolt slam into the T-Car.

The world fell silent for Cyborg.

He watched in numb horror as his baby was blasted apart and burst into flame. Cyborg just watched mutely as his baby, the beautiful baby that he had spent months putting together piece by piece, fell apart and died before him. A single tear built up in his human eye and slowly rolled down his check. His expression of grief then slowly shifted, unsurmountable fury clearly present.

Someone was gonna die.

"AW NO YOU DIDN'T! YOU STUPID OVERSIZED OUTLET! NOBODY MESSES WITH MY BABY! IT'S TIME FOR THIS TEEN TITAN TO GO!" With a roar Cyborg charged at the rampaging Electro, not even giving the psycho time to react before he was sent flying into the sole remaining intact car in the lot. Justin Hammer's sobs were drowned out by the sound of Cyborg's sonic cannon discharging into the car, causing it to explode.

"AW YEAH, HOW ABOUT THAT YOU BABY KILLER, BOOYAH!" Cyborg had to cut his celebration short though as another massive lightning bolt flew out of the remains of the car. The Titan barely managed to roll away, quickly returning fire with the sonic cannon. Electro emerged from the wreckage, using his powers to propel himself forward, slamming into Cyborg. Cyborg let out a pained yell as Electro's touch discharged power directly into his body. It wasn't near enough to stop him though, and Cyborg slammed down his fists on Electro. The electric villain ended up moaning in a man shaped crater in the cement. He quickly launched himself back upwards, an electric charged haymaker sending Cyborg sprawling. Cyborg switched both of his arms into cannons and fired at the same time as Electro tried to follow up with another lightning bolt. The two attacks collided in midair, straining against each other. With another Booyah, Cyborg increased the power of his attack, draining his batteries into his blasters. He was rewarded with the sight of the blue sonic beams punching through the electricity and sending bad guy flying a block away to crash into a building.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

With his first spare moment since the start of the fight, Cyborg quickly checked his communicator. His face twisted into a disappointed scowl when he saw that the only person in range to be back up, Beast Boy, had turned his communicator off. He was then greeted with the sight of his battery reading. Despite the fact that he had been spamming the cannons, Cyborgs power levels read 117%. With a giant grin, he turned back to the now recovered Electro who was walking towards him.

"YOU'RE IN TROUBLE NOW SPARKY! ALL YOUR POWER IS DOING IS GIVING ME A BOOST! I CAN KEEP THIS UP ALL DAY, AND SOONER OR LATER, YOU'RE GOING TO RUN OUT OF JUICE AND I'LL BE ABLE TO POUND YOU!" Cyborg's bragging did not sit well with his electrical opponent.

"IS THAT RIGHT METAL HEAD? WANT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU BLAST A COMPUTER WITH A LIGHTNING BOLT?" Cyborg didn't give Electro time to find out, instead the Titan picked up one of the destroyed cars and chucked it at him. Electro blasted through the car, splitting it right in half. His brief moment of satisfaction was ruined when Cyborg was seen flying over the wreckage, an aerial left hook sending Electro sprawling once more. Cyborg shook out his hand rapidly, trying to dispel the arcs of electricity dancing along his hand from where he had made contact. He then shifted his right into a cannon once more and started firing point blank into the villain. Electro desperately threw up a high voltage shield, attempting to buy himself enough time to recuperate and counter. He never saw Cyborg's detached left hand rocket around the shield and smash into his jaw. The shield fell and Electro went flying once more. Cyborg merely smirked as his hand flew back and reattached itself to his arm.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Electro rose to his feet, his body shaking from the damage he had been constantly taking. His overcoat had long since been destroy, leaving the battered power suit for all to see. His hat had blown away, and now he ripped off his mask, revealing his sparking electric face. It was clear to him now that he had been tricked, the red psycho had sent him here to fight this Robocop wannabe. This was not a fight that Electro was prepared for, he was used to an opponent that was always scrambling to dodge his blows, an opponent who could only rely on wits and cheap tricks to fight back. But this opponent, he could shoot back. Not only could he shoot back, he could also apparently take the lightning bolts far better than the bug could ever hope to. This smirking tin can trying to put him down, looking down on him just like every single person had since he had gotten his powers. The only person who truly cared for him was the Doc, and now he was going to get himself beaten and no longer be useful for the Doc at all. It was with this thought that Electro steadied himself, felt himself grow determined once more. He sent out a giant field of power, electricity being drawn in from all around him, sparks flying in every direction.

"ALRIGHT YOU METAL FACED FREAK! IT'S TIME TO GET SERIOUS NOW! I'M GOING TO-!" Electro cut himself off as he realized that his opponent was on the ground sparking. Being a former mechanic, it only took him a second to realize what had happened.

"That giant electrical field… he has been absorbing in my power this entire fight. He just completely overloaded himself and blew out his battery! I won! I did it! HAHA! Electro reigns supreme! Hahahahahahahahah!" Not believing his luck, Electro fled the scene before the cops could show, leaving his downed opponent unable to move.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Several hours later, Cyborg had managed to reboot enough of his systems to slowly move around. He had barely any more maneuverability than an old man with a walker. He couldn't help but to degrade himself for what had happened. He had let his opponent catch him off guard with that last attack, and it would be weeks before he could get a replacement battery from STAR labs. He had just spoken to someone claiming to be able to get it sooner, but considering how the guy was dressed, the depressed teen doubted the guy's ability to find a hamburger, let alone a super rare power cell. He was interrupted from his musings as he noticed someone approaching him. It was the women he had saved before the fight had started.

"Thanks for the save back there. I don't think my boss would appreciate it if I got myself fried when he is coming out of the hospital tomorrow."

"No problem lady, it's what I do. Or, what I usually do anyway. Didn't exactly manage to stop the bad guy."

"Don't worry about that, this city is literally crawling with heroes. I doubt he will be able to get another 24 hours before he gets found and thrown back into prison. Anyways, that's not why I wanted to come over here. That blue car was yours correct? The T-Car?"

The mention of his car only served to further depress Cyborg.

"Yeah she was mine. Months of hard work and elbow grease into the girl, all that work and upgrades, and she just gets taken out as easy as that."

"I'm really sorry about your loss, however I think I can make it better for you. My name is Pepper Pots, I work as the head of Stark Industries. Since you saved my life, I've put in a call to Tony and he says that he is going to be able to reconstruct your car for you. He claims that he can probably have it working again in as little as 3 days." Pepper paused for a moment to take in Cyborg's stunned, crazily grinning face.

"Not only that, I'm also to inform you that the competition for the car show had mostly been decided before Electro's attack. It came down to you and Hammer, and it is stated in my contract that in the event of Hammer attempting to win any sort of contest that Stark holds, I'm obligated to disqualify him for being an insufferable asshole. So you won Tony's fancy repulsor sports car. Congratulations!"

Cyborg stood stock still for an over a minute, his staring starting to creep out the red-headed business women. Then he let out a massive shout.

"THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE! BOOYAH!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Electro stalked through the alley ways of making sure he stayed out of sight. He had drained a lot of power beating that metal man, and he wanted to make sure he got back to the Doc's safe house without any incident. He had long since escaped the sounds of the sirens, Electro had grabbed his mask before leaving and had stolen some clothing off of a homeless man to disguise himself. In a just a few more blocks he would be safe, and Octavius hopefully wouldn't be to mad about his activities. As long as he got back safely everything would work out all right. Checking all around him to make sure the coast was clear, Electro turned another corner, his final destination in sight. He was completely unprepared when a white ball came flying out of the air, sticking to his shoe and sending him sprawling into the ground.

"What's the matter sparks for brains? I heard you've been playing with other superheroes behind my back. Don't you love me anymore?"

As Electro turned to face the red and blue clad man sticking to the wall above him, only one thing came to mind.

"Crap."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**While Cyborg is has the advantage in many of the physical states, he is still mostly computer powered. He needs a functional battery in order to fight effectively. While the fight is close, have you ever seen what a Taser can do to a computer? It is not safe for a mechanized character to fight someone that can fry is circuits out like that. Yes readers, be amazed, the bad guys can actually win fights in this story! (sort of) If Heroes and Villains collide, you cannot just expect an easy win for the heroes! Only those who deserve the win will receive it in the Superhuman Fight Club!**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

AN: Thanks again to sturm and drang for being my Beta and for helping me with my Deadpool.

Thanks for reading, and please review, and feel free to leave any fight you want to see in the future. I'm entering crunch time for finals, so this might be the only chapter this month, we will see how things look in a few weeks. So because of this…

TEASER!

In the next round, a fallen warrior will return from a brutal beating! A hammer will be raised! Deadpool will be beaten by She-Hulk. Marvel and DC knights collide in the next chapter: **Heavy Metal**. (First person to guess who the next fight is gets to choose who is fighting next after Spidey. Deadpool is the only character who is not a candidate, he is planned for chapter 6. Anonymous guests need not apply because I can't PM you. Must be able to be PMed to participate)


	4. Heavy Metal

**Superhuman Fight Club**

**Heroes and villains from every dimension have one thing in common. They thoroughly enjoy beating each other up. Whether they protect the streets in shadows, stand tall as a symbol of heroism, thrive off of stealing from the less fortunate, or let out a maniacal laugh as they slaughter the innocents, all fight for what they believe in. But the question is, in a fight with no rules, who is left standing? We will take various versions of these characters from any and all realms of media to see if we can find an answer. **

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Deadpool tested the rope bonds restraining him, quickly coming to the conclusion that he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. He then looks up at his captor.

"You know, usually I like to be the one tying up a hot chick, but I think I'm OK with this too! In fact I MMMMMPPHHH…..!" The Merc with a Mouth as a jade hand shoved a gag down his throat, preventing him from doing anything but moan. The figure then turned her back on Deadpool, striding confidently to the door. She turned around to face the restrained psycho once more before departing.

"You know, most of the authors around here forget the fact that there are more than one character in Marvel who can break the fourth wall. They always use you in these stories. This time though, I'm finally going to take a turn." With that she left the room to find the author, leaving Deadpool all alone, with no means of escape. (Meh, it's not like he can starve to death or something, and I'm sure he'll use plot power to get loose eventually)

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Alright folks, welcome back for yet another addition of Superhuman Fight Club! Things have been switched up a little this time around, my new announcer has taken the liberty of preventing Deadpool from interfering. Not Since chapter 1 have we been so Deadpool free! So without further delay, might I introduce the Sensational She-Hulk!

"Thanks for having me heroman, especially for this chapter. I know I shouldn't, but I take a great bit of pleasure from seeing my ex-boyfriend get knocked around a bit, especially after what he did to my cousin. I mean, what kind of moron thinks that banishing the strongest and angriest hero from the planet isn't going to bite you in the ass somewhere down the line?"

Yeah, pretty dumb for a super genius isn't he?

"No kidding, but don't think I forgot what you did either. Getting my ass handed to me by Doomsday?"

Umm, well…, you still made an appearance, and did more damage than most of the avengers did together. I mean it's not like I can use Cap or Spider Woman in the near future, they got mauled.

"And that prevents me from throwing you into orbit how, exactly?"

…when I do my planned omake chapter of requested but unfair joke fights I'll let you beat up Ringmaster for making you into his personal circus attraction?

"That's better, good boy. Anyway, shouldn't we start the introductions already? You're normally halfway done with them at this point."

Alright fair enough, how about I do the DC character and you can introduce the flying tin can?

"Sounds good to me."

Alright, coming in from DC we have John Henry Irons, the superhero known as Steel! This guy was introduced after Doomsday and Superman beat each other to death in the Death of Superman arc (still call bullshit on that whole arc). He uses a high tech suit that grants him super strength and flight, as well as having a mounted rivet gun and a "smart" hammer that hits with the force of one of Hulk's "calm" punches. Lex Luthor once experimented on him and turned his entire body into living stainless steel, but he was quickly turned back and went back to using armor. If you ask me what the point of doing that, especially doing it so quickly was, I not be able to answer you because I have no idea at all, I mean he was literally…made of armor…so…why?

With DC continuity as messed up as it is right now, I'm not going to bother trying to figure it out. Anyways, that should just about cover it, hammer, flight, super strength and durability. And a rivet gun. Oh wait, one more thing! Steel had his own movie! In it Steel is played by Shaq, the freakishly large basketball player. It came out in the late 1990s, and in a period that was dealing with _Superman IV_ and _Batman and Robin_, this movie is the one that is considered to be what killed the superhero movies for several years. Sucking worse than _Batman and Robin_, even with the Bat-nipples and Bat-credit card, Steel still managed to be worse. Wow.

"You do know your kind of setting him up to fail right?"

What? No, his movie is what failed. The comic hero is considered a super genius, one of the best of the Justice League. He is capable of taking shots from Superman! Not full power, but Superman holds back against everyone anyways. It takes a crazy amount of damage to take Steel down, you need one hell of a heavy hitter!

"Instead we are going to introduce my jerk of an ex-boyfriend and recovering alcoholic, Tony Stark, the Iron Man! The majority of the time, Tony is an arrogant jerk, one of the biggest in comics."

I don't know about that, Superman is the one with the website dedicated to collecting every single one of his asshole moments. To my knowledge, Stark doesn't have one of those.

"He is incredibly smart, however he has a thing for hurting and betraying his friends."

Seriously how bad can he be?

"Convinced Peter Parker to reveal himself as Spider-man, which ultimately resulted in a deal with the devil that destroyed his marriage, tried to force the super hero community to submit to the governments will, almost killed Captain America, was an ass to me, made an evil clone of Thor, I sent my cousin into space-"

Ok, ok, I get it, he is a jerk, continue the breakdown please before you get so mad you decide to go Hulk smash all over my story.

"Insult me again and I'm locking you in the room with Deadpool."

I'll be good!

"Since the Hulkbuster got trashed by Doomsday, Stark's most powerful armor is easily his Bleeding Edge armor. The suit is actually nano-bots in his bloodstream, allowing him to transform anywhere he wants. The suit is incredible durable, and has weapons ranging repulsors to mini missles to his most powerful weapon, the uni-beam. The arc reactor on his chest means that Stark has little issue of running out of power in a fight. This fusion with his suit also granted him an enhanced healing factor that you apparently forgot about-"

I did not forget, I just figured that Doomsday was capable of overloading his healing factor for a week. It's not like he's Wolverine, or heck even Spider-man for that matter.

"-as well as giving him limited technopathy, which he gained when he was fused with the Extremis technovirus. (Not the movie version that made absolutely no sense, no matter how much I liked the movie.) Given enough time there is no technology that he cannot hack. There was also some bit about him having to store his brain on a computer and his memory being really messed up, but it is really confusing and irrelevant to the fight, so I have no desire to explain it to you. Try to force me to explain, I dare you."

Okay, calm down, deep breaths. You are having a rough time lately I know. You will be okay, maybe this story will get more people interested in writing you again. Anyways, that's the breakdown, so onto the fight! Is Steel truly stronger than Iron? Let's find out! Here we go!

"Wait a sec, how are you getting them to fight anyways?"

I think Deadpool said something about him releasing the Controller or something…

"HE DID WHAT!?"

Don't blame me, you said you'd keep him under control!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony Stark waved at the departing T-Car, the happy teen going off for his long drive back to Jump City. Tony had enjoyed working with the young man, it been interesting to interact with someone else who required technology to live. Stark gave a slight grimace in pain as he returned inside his garage. Even now, several days after leaving the hospital, he was still having trouble with his ribs from the damage he had taken from the grey beast the Hulk had fought. He would need to start making plans for a new armor in case that beast or another like it ever came back to Earth. Before any of that however, it was time for some air. A few seconds later Iron Man rocketed out of the garage and soared over the sky scrapers of the Big Apple.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Cyborg could not believe the last few days he had experienced. Getting to work with Tony Stark, and giving the T-Car upgrades with him? On top of that, he was even going to be receiving Stark's new sports car at the tower in a few days! The mysterious man from before had even pulled through and given Cyborg a strange new power source, which he was still trying to incorporate fully into his systems. However, despite all this, Cyborg couldn't help but think he had forgotten something.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Beast Boy climbed up and around the tree, playing with several of the other squirrels in Central Park. He paused for a moment as he saw a familiar blue car driving off into the distance. He seemed to debate with himself briefly then shook his head and then ran back down the tree, the others squirrels close behind. He ran in the opposite direction of the car, shifting back to his human form as he joined a brown haired girl in playing with the local animals. She smiled at him and Beast Boy grinned in response. No words were said between the two as they joined hands and ran off into the trees.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

John Iron was not having a good day. He had been testing his newly upgraded armors flight speed with a timed trial across the country when he had received an unknown distress call. He had landed in an abandoned town. His scanners quickly revealed that the town had not been abandon long, there was evidence that a mere 4 hours before the town had been filled with life. His scanners indicated that the call had come from a storage area several stories beneath the surface of a warehouse at the edge of town. It had been a long and slow process getting to the bottom, carefully making his way down while checking for any signs of life, or of traps. He had found the transmitter set on a loop in the middle of a dark room. That was when they attacked. The towns people were obviously under some sort of control, the orange discs on the backs of their necks seemed to be a type of receiver. Knowing that they were innocent victims forced Steel to actively try to prevent himself from accidently hurting any of the other combatants. They swarmed over him, the close quarters preventing Steel from taking flight. He just made sure that he gently knocked them back, slowly wading through the crowd, his armor searching for the source of the signal attached to the orange discs. He didn't want to risk just ripping the discs off, there was no guarantee that doing so would safely restore the people. It could end up doing irrevocable damage to their minds.

Steel didn't notice, as distracted as he was attempting to figure out how to save these people, the man creeping in the rafters above him. The man jumped down and slammed a control disc into Steels neck. The control disk was able to penetrate through the armor into Steel's mind, assaulting his thoughts, giving him no reprieve as his personality and free will were rapidly suppressed and locked deep within his mind.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"A shame," the controller stated while looking at his newest acquisition. "I was hoping that this trap would have allowed me Iron Man, but I seem to have gotten some sort of imitator instead. No matter, perhaps he shall allow me to kill off Stark once and for all." With a mental command Steel left the basement and began flying towards New York. He had a target to eliminate.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Iron Man had just finished up a fight with the Rhino and was returning back to Stark Industries so he could check in on Pepper. Well, Stark claimed it was a fight anyways, all he did was blast the criminal with a salvo was various weapons while he was distracted fighting Spider-man. Spidey was not amused when Stark had taken all the credit for Rhino's defeat and then flew off, leaving Spidey to watch and make sure the police were able to take the horned man away before he woke up. But it wasn't like he had anything to do anyways right? Meanwhile Tony was attempting to plan out a romantic evening with his red headed co-worker. The armor disappeared as he landed and took a few steps into the building. He never saw the hammer that slammed him to the ground unconscious.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Stark woke up in the middle of a small town, the entirety of its inhabitants gathered around him, eerie orange lights pulsing on every one of them. Standing on top of a nearby building stood the Controller, and an armored man holding a massive futuristic sledgehammer.

"Welcome Iron Man, I had my newest recruit bring you here so that I may have the pleasure of watching you die with my own eyes. It truly is a shame that the Extremis virus and your armor prevents me from controlling you as well, your power would allow me to spread my control disks across the world. However, I have found a replacement for you in this man, Steel. He is just as powerful as you, yet still human enough for my will to overrule his own."

"I highly doubt that your wannabe replacement is even in the same ballpark as me, let alone my equal. But if you really want to test it…"

Tony Stark's body was surrounded in a combination of red and gold, the nanites in in his bloodstream spreading out and forming the Bleeding Edge armor. He immediately took to the sky, Steel closely pursuing. Steel threw his hammer at Iron Man, who easily evaded and returned fire with repulsors. Steel took that blast to the chest with little difficulty, and then held out his hand to catch his hammer as it flew back to him.

"Oh, I'm so telling on you. You totally stole Thor's moves."

Steel flew in close, swinging wildly at Iron Man, only to be thwarted by a quickly thrown up energy shield. Stark flew back firing off several mini missiles, however they were all shot out of the sky by Steels rivet gun before traveling away from their source. The resulting explosion sent Stark tumbling, only to receive a hammer to the back. Iron Man smashed into the ground, creating a deep depression in the earth. Steel flew downwards, attempting to follow up and smash the billionaire's face in. Instead he took a unibeam straight to the chest and was sent flying. Stark stood in his crater, his armor still sparking as it repaired itself.

"Pepper is going to be so mad at me for missing our dinner date."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Controller watched as the two armored heroes resumed their aerial battle once more. The more nimble Stark was evading the majority of the slower Steel's attacks. However, as was evident of the first clash, that hammer, if it could connect, would devastate Iron Man's defenses. Stark's weapons, with the exception of his most power and most power consuming, had no effect on Steel. Eventually Steel would connect again, Stark couldn't just dodge forever. This fight was as good as over.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

'_Well, this fight is as good as over'_ Stark thought. Since the very first clash of the battle, Stark's Extremis virus had begun to do its thing, attempting to hack into his opponent's armor. It was slow going, the armor had adapted some sort of alien tech that was ahead of what was on this planet. Something called Apocalypse tech. However, whatever it was, it was not capable of completely shutting Stark out. His meddling had slowed Steel, allowing Stark to more easily predict and dodge his attacks. Another shot from the unibeam gave the armored avenger enough distance to work with to get through the final fire wall. Then, using Steel's systems, he directed both suits programing into the control disk, reversing the signal and sending a powerful virus through it. In less than 3 seconds, ever townsperson was freed and collapsed unconscious. The Controller was assaulted by the massive feedback of the virus and tumbled off of the roof. Steel however, felt nothing as his mind slipped back into control and the disc previously on his neck tumbled to the ground. He looked around him taking in his change of surroundings, then noticing the other flying metal man nearby.

"You want to tell me what happened."

"Yeah sure, controller hijack your mind, as well as everybody else in this town. You attacked me, I fought back, beat you up, hacked you armor and saved the day. Townspeople are free and the bad guy is out cold, you're welcome. You know, this is the second time this week somebody slammed my armor around like a pinball machine. Although, compared to that Doomsday thing, you don't pack as much of a punch."

"You fought Doomsday huh? That thing actually killed me once."

"No shit, really? Well that seriously sucks man. Anyways, I'm missing out on a hot date while I'm sitting around here with you. So how about you make yourself useful and go organize the townspeople and lock up the bad guy? Later."

With that, Iron Man rocketed off into the distance, leaving Steel behind to watch him disappear. Henry turned back to the town and took notice of all of the work he would need to do to stabilize the situation.

"What an asshole."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Stark arrived in time to see an angry looking Pepper pacing around her office.

"Hey there sorry I'm late, got a little caught up doing the hero thing."

"Well congratulations, I'm sure it was amazing. Want to tell me what happened to the enhanced micro ark reactor we were working on? I went down to the lab, found it gone with a note in its place. All of the security of that time frame was wiped out, and the note said that you gave him permission."

"Wait what?"

Stark grabbed the note and began to read.

**Dear Tony,**

**Thanks for letting me borrow this battery thing. I need it to help out a robot guy with a fried battery. So now I owe you one super rare powerful battery thing. You don't mind if I don't pay it back in this lifetime right? Great, thanks buddy, you're a real pal.**

**Love Wade.**

Stark looked between the note and his girlfriend, her rage so great that her face matched her hair.

"Well? Do you have an explanation for this?"

Well there was only one thing to say in response to that.

"F*CKING DEADPOOL!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"HA! Take that Tony, cock blocked by a psycho who didn't get anything more than a cameo in this chapter!"

I think you might be taking a bit too much pleasure in your ex-boyfriends suffering.

"I hope you get a girlfriend just as bad as he was so you know what I went through."

Jeez, what the heck did I do to you?

"You're irritating me."

I can't be anywhere near as bad as Spider-man was when you last teamed up. Something about you getting a tail?

"I'M GOING TO SMASH YOU FOR BRINGING THAT UP!"

Hey, calm down already! Seriously, make another move towards me and I'm going to make you fight Mandrill for the omake chapter.

"Wait, isn't that…"

The guy that got mutated into a giant monkey with the ability to mind control any female with his smell? The one that enjoys making girls rob banks for him while dressed up as models? The one that was twice now mind controlled Spider Woman to beat up Spider-man? Why yes, that's the one.

"….I'll be good."

Great! So anyways, while Steel's hammer was likely the most powerful weapon on the field, between Iron Man's superior maneuverability, his various energy weapons, and his extreme hacking abilities, Tony Stark was able to come out on top! You could have the combine power of Hulk, Thor, and Superman and it would be completely worthless if you couldn't hit the guy you were aiming for! Well that concludes this round! Thanks again for joining in She-Hulk.

"Not a problem, I diffidently enjoyed watch that one. Just make sure you give me the omake chapter we originally planned, not that damned monkey."

Keep Deadpool out of the next chapter for me and you got yourself a deal.

Thanks for joining everybody, until next time!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

AN: So I'm obviously a lot earlier with this chapter than I said before. I got bored in class, sue me. Thanks again to sturm and drang for being my Beta. I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter, I had fun writing it! So, feel free to leave any suggestions you might have for future fights. Next time, the Amazing Spider-man takes the stage! Question is, who shall he be fighting? Since nobody answered me last time, I guess I'll decide on that now! Thanks to Dakkaman777 for the suggestion for this fight. Please Review!


	5. King of the Streets

**Superhuman Fight Club**

**Heroes and villains from every dimension have one thing in common. They thoroughly enjoy beating each other up. Whether they protect the streets in shadows, stand tall as a symbol of heroism, thrive off of stealing from the less fortunate, or let out a maniacal laugh as they slaughter the innocents, all fight for what they believe in. But the question is, in a fight with no rules, who is left standing? We will take various versions of these characters from any and all realms of media to see if we can find an answer. **

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Welcome to another round of Superhuman Fight Club! I'm heroman45, and this is my current co-announcer the Sensational She-Hulk!

"Yo!"

Today's fight is likely to be one of the most interesting matchups that we've had yet. Many people have asked how this fight would go, and there is no common consensus. Who is the top street level character? Today, we are going to pitch top street level characters from Marvel and DC against one another to see who is left standing. From Marvel, there can only be one choice to represent them from the street level. Marvel's king, considered to be one of the top three most popular fictional heroes of all time, recently back from the dead (I'll get to that later), Peter Parker, The Amazing Spider-Man!

"The Web-Head has been in the hero gig for longer than the vast majority of superhero characters, starting when he was just a geeky kid in high school. If you think Batman has a tragic backstory, his past looks like rainbows and sunshine when compared to Parker. Everybody knows what happened to his uncle and his parents, but that's just the tip of the iceberg. After being tricked by the Green Goblin into accidently killing his first love, Gwen Stacy, Spider-Man found out that the Green Goblin had actually impregnated her when she left for several months on a trip to Paris. He didn't find this out until the twins that she gave birth to went through accelerated aging and tried to murder him. Later, when he was married to Mary Jane, the Green Goblin attacked his pregnant wife, costing them the unborn child. Iron Man convinced Peter to unmask during the Civil War, which caused his family to become the target of the Kingpin. His Aunt May was sniped, and Peter was forced to make a deal with a literal devil to save her. His marriage to Mary Jane was completely erased from history in exchange for Aunt May's well-being, Inbeing. short, listening to Iron Man was a terrible idea.

More recently, Parker was killed by Doc Ock after the two switched bodies, and Octavius killed Peter while he was trapped in the form of a sick old man. These are just some of the things he's gone through, if we wanted to give his entire tragic backstory it would take up this entire chapter."

"Jeez, that was kind of depressing."

"Despite this, Spider-Man is considered to be one of the biggest jokers of Marvel. He is rarely ever serious when he fights, preferring instead to crack jokes and make sarcastic remarks to his friends and foes alike."

She is totally speaking from experience with that.

"Stop harassing me about the cat tail incident! It really wasn't that funny!"

I disagree, and so did Spider-Man according to the way you tell that story.

"Ugh, anyways Spider-Man uses his pestering as a legit combat strategy, keeping his opponents annoyed and off balance, often resulting in them making mistakes out of anger. However, what truly makes him the king of Marvel's street level characters is his abilities. Spider-Man's reflexes are somewhere between 15 and 18 times that of a normal human, and paired with his supreme agility, the hero is virtually untouchable. He is capable of running at speeds of around 200 MPH (322 KPH for those who don't use miles. So pretty much everybody outside the US.) Spider-Man is capable of dodging machine gun fire at point blank range, and can snag bullets out of the air. He has the well-known wall-crawling ability, as well as his web shooters. I REALLY hate those web shooters. That stuff is almost impossible to get out of hair. Normal spider silkwebs isare stronger than steel of equal diameter, Sspidey has super silk, His webbing is super strong and durable, capable of even containing a falling building or even the Hulk (for like 2 seconds). He has the web cartridges set on a rotating carousel so it takes a lot of use for him to run out. His strength levels are extremely varied, writers seem to have trouble deciding just how strong they want him. Sometimes he will hold up a skyscraper or flip a tank that weighs over 30 tons. Sometimes he gets overpowered by Daredevil. Seriously, the guy whose only power is radar vision was able to go head to head with Spidey on more than one occasion. However, it is commonly agreed that current Spider-Man has somewhere between 15 and 25 tons in terms of lifting strength."

Despite this impressive list, Spider-Man's best ability is most well-knownthe famous and ever tingling spider-sense.

"That freaking Spider-sense. No matter how hard you try to punch the guy, he knows it's coming and dodges. No matter how many times I try to get him back for that tail incident, I can't get my hands on him!"

The Spider-sense gives Peter the ability to sense danger before it reaches him, making him almost impossible to hit. It lets him go against far better trained opponents, including Iron Fist, Captain America, and Wolverine, and they can't lay a finger on him. You can't snipe him from a distance, he will know that the bullet is coming before it even leaves the barrel. Recently, after a brief incident where he lost his Spider-sense, Parker developed his own, completely unique type of martial arts called the Way of the Spider. Now he has actual skill to back up his natural talent, unless you have some sort of power that gives you a major advantage, he is almost impossible to beat.

"Despite this, Spider-Man still will rarely go all out in a fight. He is always holding back so that he doesn't accidently punch anyone's head off. But when he gets serious, there is almost nobody on Marvel's street level that can take him on. He even made a black suit based off of the one he wore when the symbiotic slime Venom took him over. When he puts on that suit, he is done joking around. If only it were permanent…"

Yeah, an eternally enraged Spider-Man is a bad idea. The death count of all of the gangsters in the city would be higher week than if Punisher worked at it for a year.

"Seriously?"

If you take a super genius, give him super powers, and make him eternally angry, you either get a nasty super villain or the Hulk.

"Hey! What have I said about making jokes about my cousin?!"

Sorry!

"Anyway, don't you have to introduce Batman now?"

Batman?

"Tall, dark and broody? You can only make write me to fan-girl over Spider-Man for so long. Introduce the DC guy already so we can start the fight."

I'm not using Batman, Spider-Man can kick his ass without even trying. It would take Bats a couple months' worth of prep to be able to even have a chance against the guy. Even then Spider-Man would need to be completely unaware Batman was after him, because if Spider-Man can use prep as well then he is likely going to be able to keep his advantages.

"OK then… ignoring the obvious flames you're going to get from the Bat-God fan-boys now, who are you using to go up against Parker then?"

I'm using one of the few characters who is consistently able to out think and out fight Bruce. Slade Wilson, AKA Deathstroke the Terminator, the most dangerous assassin in the DC universe.

"I thought you liked Spider-Man?! You decided to put him up against the guy who regularly humiliates the Teen Titans and has beaten and nearly killed several members of the Justice League? Seriously?"

Yep.

"Okay then… you give the breakdown and I'll go inform Peter that he needs to start working on his will. See you later."

Pretty sure he already has a will made out considering what he does for a living. Anyways, Slade Wilson made his first appearance when he was hired to kill off the Teen Titans. He is a master assassin, utilizing machine guns, snipers, pistols, and pretty much every type of firearm he can get his hands on. However, his main weapons are a staff and a Promethium sword. His staff actually contains blasters that shoot high powered energy shots from either end, and can be modified from stunning to lethal attacks. He will only use the staff against opponents that he finds actually challenging. He will make use of all of his other weapons until they are used up before he will use the collapsible staff.

Now some people have never heard of Deathstroke, and those people are wondering how an assassin with a fancy staff is a threat to Batman. Batman is considered to be the very peak of human ability, so the best he could do is just match that, right? In fact, Deathstoke is actually an enhanced super soldier, similar to Captain America. However Slade is faster, stronger, and a better tactician than the Captain. The serum that amped up Deathstroke's ability granted him the ability to use 90% of the human brain, far greater than most people are able to access. As a resul,t he can plan out strategies for combat as soon as the fight begins, adapting them as needed easilyneeded easily. The serum also granted him enhanced reflexes, agility, and a minor healing factor that is likely on par with Spider-Man's, as well as strength that exceeds that of 10 men. On top of that, thanks to some changes that took place in the New 52, Slade is more dangerous than ever. His strength, while not specified, is shown to be greater than it previously was. In addition, his armor has been upgraded to be made entirely of Nth metal, strong enough to take shots from Lobo the intergalactic bounty hunter.

So in the end, these two are almost completely evenly matched. Spider-Man's strength is countered by Deathstroke's armor. Deathstroke's marksmen abilities are negated by the Spider-sense. Deathstroke's planning abilities and Peter's on the spot thinking will cause both to be constantly trying to out maneuver the other. So the question is, who will be able to pull out the win? Who is the best fighter of the street level combatants? Let's find out, here we go!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Wilson Fisk, the Kingpin of Crime, sat behind his massive desk, studying the man before him.

"From what I've heard, you are the best killer that money can buy. What is your opinion of this?"

The man that stood before the Kingpin stared at him with a single eye, the other lost years before and hidden behind his mask.

"There are very few who are able to claim to have survived more than one encounter with me. Even amongst the heroes, I am recognized and feared for what I can do."

Wilson grinned, opening up his desk and pulling out a large case filled with cash.

"Then you might be just the man I am looking for Mr. Wilson. I am having a certain arachnid problem, a problem that I am willing to pay a large sum of cash to remove. How does 10 million dollars sound as the fee to have Spider-Man's head delivered onto my desk?"

"I'll have proof of the kill for you as soon as I am able to complete the mission. However, keep in mind, I've had new employers try to turn on me at the end of a contract before, but I am still alive and killing, while every last one of them has taken my place in the grave they dug for me. Go back on your agreement, and regardless of the number of superhumans you have on your payroll, you will end up like all the others."

Slade Wilson gave one more look at the crime boss before turning to exit from the building. The Kingpin looked after him, slowly releasing a breath that he didn't even realize he had been holding. The assassin was terrifying, if he truly lived up to his reputation, then once the job was finished Fisk would not hesitate to hand over the money. He may be used to fighting many of New York's street level heroes, but he had no desire to experience firsthand how Slade had earned the name Deathstroke the Terminator.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Deathstroke had been given access to one of the Kingpin's storage warehouses along the Hudson River. He spent his first hour there sweeping for bugs and preparing his weapon arsenal for the upcoming job. He had heard of the vigilante hero known as Spider-Man before, but had no experience with him. Before even beginning to search for his prey, Slade wanted to learn as much as he could about how his opponent fought and moved. Deathstroke spent hours searching online for any and all videos and stories featuring the hero. He put the power of his 90% brain capacity to analyzing his opponent, looking for patterns and gauging his abilities. However, due to the hero's high agility and reluctance to stay around in any area for too long, it was clear that he wouldn't be able to get a true sense of the enemy without witnessing him himself. With this in mind, Deathstroke began his search for the Wall Crawler, hoping to see him in action. On his second day of search, Deathstroke saw a familiar face from his past times in New York. He watched the Teen Titan Cyborg take on the electric villain, recognizing him as a frequent opponent of Spider-Man. When Cyborg went down and Electro fled, Deathstoke trailed the criminal, and was quickly rewarded for the effort. Spider-Man made an appearance with a quick joke, engaging Electro with extreme speed. Deathstoke watched from the rooftops as Spider-Man effortlessly dodged around the lightning blasts and retaliated with powerful blows at high speed. The fight ended earlier than Deathstroke had been planning however, Spider-Man maneuvered his opponent next to a fire hydrant and then shattered it, dousing the criminal and shorting him out. The police arrived less than a minute after that, giving Slade little opportunity to engage the Web Slinger himself. He swung of at high speed, leaving Deathstroke on the roof to process what he had just witnessed. The hero had obvious super agility and reflexes, along with strength that seemed to surpass his own. It would seem that the best course of action would be to take his opponent by surprise. There was no reason to risk a defeat by going head to head, a single bullet from his Barrett M98B through his target's head, which would do the job quite nicelythat would be all it took. If Spider-Man was durable enough to take the electricity, he wouldn't have needed to work so hard to dodge. This led Slade to conclude that while the target may have enhanced durability, it wouldn't be enough to take the bullet with no damage. The next time Deathstroke saw the target would be Spider-Man's last day.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Spider-Man watched as Iron Man flew off over the city. Stark probably had a hot date with yet another one of his supermodels. With a shrug, Parker turned to face the crater that the unconscious Rhino had been blasted into.

"Well horn-head, looks like it's just you and me now. I wonder how the police are planning on getting you out of that hole. A crane maybe? You should really consider dieting, the reduced weight would be a real convenience for everyone involved."

Spider-Man continued on chatting with the unresponsive super villain for several minutes until his Spider sense started going off. He casually swayed out of the way of the sniper bullet, as well as all of the ones that followed. When the attacker's clip was exhausted, Spider-Man took the opportunity to launch himself up onto the rooftops, quickly coming face to face with an armored man.

"Deadpool, is that you? I thought you were in love with your red copycat pajamas, did you finally get tired of ripping off my outfit?"

"I am called Deathstroke. You are the fifth target in the last three months that has mistaken me for that clown. I think I'm going to spend the money I get from your contract to hunt the fool down, chop him into pieces, and scatter them across the globe so he will never be able to re-form again." Deathstroke pulled out both of his pistols and began firing at the Arachnid themed hero. Spider-Man danced around the bullets with ease, attempting to continue the conversation with the assassin.

"So you at least know Deadpool then? I agree that he is really annoying, probably more annoying than the majority of my rogues gallery but I'm not sure he really deserves that kind of treatment. He's on a team with the Red Hulk and Ghost Rider at the moment, he probably gets lit on fire or punched cross country every single time he bothers them."

Spider-Man shot a web ball at both of the shooter's gun barrels, clogging them completely. As Deathstroke threw them to the side, Spider-Man got in close and delivered a fast punch to the assassin's face, using enough force to knock a normal man unconscious. He was surprised to find that Deathstroke not only easily shrugged off the blow, but countered with a hard punch to the ribs, followed by a slash from a massive bowie knife. Peter dodged backward to avoid the blade, but then paused to look at it quizzically.

"Why is it you guys always try with knives? I make one little joke about being weak against them and wannabe Spider Slayers insist on pulling one out. Shouldn't it be clear that they don't really do anything to me? I mean, most of the baddies I fight can't hit me at all, and those that can don't need some wimpy little knife to actually hurt me."

Deathstroke moved in on Spider-Man again, a second knife appearing in his other hand. Faster than Peter was expecting, Deathroke was able to get in, blades flashing in a deadly pattern, forcing Spidey on the defensive. He flipped over the assassins back, delivering a hard kick to his back that sent Slade tumbling. Spider-Man glanced down at his uniform to observe the three shallow cuts into his chest. A small trickle of blood went down his uniform.

"Geez you're just as bad as Kraven with chopping up my costumes. I have a limited income you know, I can't spend all of it on materials for repairs!"

Deathstroke spun quickly as he came to his feet, another pistol in his hand. He was able to get off three shots before Parker was able to get in close and start landing a barrage of super powered kicks and punches. Thanks to the Nth armor, Deathstroke barely felt the blows, but he was shocked by their speed and the ferocity exhibited by his joking adversary. Slade was working hard to keep up blocking and countering, he hadn't expected this level of skill. He managed to grab onto Spider-Man's arm, tossing him to the other side of the roof. The two men stared each other down, both breathing hard. Spider-Man's knuckles were bleeding from his numerous attacks on the durable armor. Deathstroke slid out of his combat stance, standing straight as he observed the vigilante.

"You've impressed me, few are able to keep up with me hand to hand. It is clear to me that I've underestimated you. I suppose I should retreat for now to make sure I am better informed and prepared for our next encounter."

"Who says I'm letting you get out of here to give you the opportunity to better plan out ways to murder me?"

"That would be that hero complex of yours, you'll be too busy saving the civil servants to catch up to me."

Slade pulled several grenades from his belt, pulling the pins and tossing them rapidly off the side of the building towards where the police were attempting to move the Rhino. Spider-Man dove after the grenades, firing off web lines to snag and slingshot them high into the air. The explosions went off too far above the ground to do any damage to the civilians below. He quickly swung back up to the rooftops and began searching for the mercenary. Despite his speed, it was quickly apparent that Deathstoke had escaped to continue plotting how to complete the contract.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Deathstroke stood in front of the gathered team of thugs he had hired from off the street. More than a dozen men stood, and all were armed to the teeth with the latest in military weaponry. Deathstroke had no doubt in his mind that Spider-Man would be able to take them down easily, but with some luck he would not realize the true threat until it was too late.

"Do you all understand your parts in this mission?" The leader of the team, a gorilla of a man towering over the rest, stepped forward. He gave a quick chuckle as he responded.

"All we got to do is bust in and start robbing the bank in the Web-Head's patrolling area. He comes in to stop us, and you use this secret weapon of yours to take him down. Then we each get paid ten grand and whatever we can carry from the bank vaults. It's my kind of plan, simple, easy to remember, and comes with a massive payoff. You can count on us, boss!"

"That's good to hear. All right then gentlemen, go to work."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Peter Parker was swinging through New York, lost in thought as he patrolled the streets for any crime that needed to be stopped. At the moment, he was thinking about what his good pal Logan would say when he found out just how badly his date with Carol had gone. It wasn't HIS fault that the Sinister Six had gotten out of jail AGAIN and just happened to attack the research lab across the street from where they were having dinner. Carol, however, seemed convinced that he had set it up as a rather poor way to get backup for a mission, and the blonde Avenger was not a fan of being used. She had flown off in a huff after delivering a rant to the poor Wall-Crawler, giving him absolutely no chance to defend himself. At least he and Logan had shared a laugh over the black and orange assassin that had tried to off him. Apparently, Wolverine had run into the guy a few times in the past, accidently getting involved in the mercenary's contracts through pure dumb luck. The assassin had been very surprised to find himself nearly losing an arm to the man whose throat he had just slit. He was even more surprised that he had been unable to chop off the Canadian's head, stating that he had never had that move fail to kill an opponent with a healing factor before. While Deathstroke had apparently completed his contract, he had not escaped injury-free and likely had to get a replacement set of armor.

Peter was snapped out of his inner thoughts when he heard several gunshots and an alarm sound several blocks away. His Spider-sense started to buzz as he got closer to what appeared to be a bank in the middle of being robbed. He slingshot himself through one of the windows at high speed, crashing into two of the thugs and knocking them out cold before they could react. A quick glance around the building revealed that there were over 50 hostages in the bank, and a group of ten more gunmen in the process of tying the hostages up. Spidey figured that it would probably be safer for the hostages if he quickly took down the robbers and then threw his standard jokes at them. With a combination of super speed and a lot of web fluid the criminals were taken down in less than 20 seconds, each one disarmed, tied up, and gagged and with looks of disbelief on their faces.

"Well boys, you've got to expect stuff like this when you try to rob a bank in my neighborhood. Although you're probably better off here than in some of my buddies' territory. If you had gone to Hell's Kitchen Daredevil would have beaten you black and blue. Same thing if you had ended up near Cage and Fist. All I did was make you guys look really stupid. So, will you guys all play nice and wait for the cops, or do I have to stick around and babysit you?"

The hostages had just started to leave the building, most still standing around in shock, when Spider-Man's danger sense kicked in to such a degree that for a second he thought the Hulk was about to crash land on the building. Without even thinking about what he was doing Peter grabbed onto a couple of nearby hostages, a mother and her two children, and he dashed out the exit at his top speed. Even then, the force of the explosion sent him tumbling, forcing him to spin in midair so that the family landed on top of him; cushioning their fall. He rose to his feet slowly, staring in horror at what remained of the bank. Only eight of the hostages had left the building before the explosion, and at least as many police officers had just entered to take care of the victims and arrest the criminals. Through his shock, Peter realized what must have happened, all of the men had been turned into live bombs, most likely unknowingly, in an attempt for someone outside to detonate and kill him. Spider-Man spun to face the rooftops and quickly caught sight of an armored man in black and orange fleeing across the buildings. Spider-Man raced upwards, trying to intercept the criminal, quickly making up ground. Deathstroke turned to see the red and blue vigilante quickly gaining and quickly tossed a group of grenades down towards the traffic below. With a growl, Peter moved to intercept the explosions, however as Deathstroke turned away to continue his flight, the Wall Crawler launched a Spider-Tracer at the assassin, sticking it to the back of his knee as Slade disappeared from view. Then Spider-Man repeated his grenade disposal technique from several days before, once again sending the grenades high enough into the air to prevent any damage. Then after glancing around to confirm that Deathstroke had escaped; Spider-Man swung back to the bank and started helping the first responders search for any survivors.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Peter Parker stood in his bedroom, holding his costume in his hand as he replayed what had occurred mere hours before. He stared at the mirror across from him, taking in his own grief-ridden face.

"It's my fault they are all dead. I underestimated this guy and he just wiped out a bank and about 50 people just trying to get at me. All my attempts to protect people, and I just let this happen." Peter looked at the mask in his hand, then slowly tightened his fist around it.

"There's no way I'm letting him get away with this. We are settling this tonight. I'm not holding back for him this time, he's just going down." Peter tossed away his red and blue costume, turning towards his closet to bring out another suit, a suit he only used when he was completely done messing around. No more jokes, no quips, no chances. As Spider-Man stood in his black suit he promised himself - Deathstoke would not be a free man when the sun rose. Spider-Man dived out of his open window and swung off into the night, following the signal of the Spider Tracer to the final showdown.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Slade had found the tracker as soon as he arrived back at the warehouse. He briefly considered his options given the circumstances. He could either abandon this place, leaving the tracker here to ensure Spider-Man could not track him down, or he could fortify the already impressive number of traps and defenses he had put around the building. Deathstroke decided on the second option, working quickly for half an hour to set up every trap he could think up with the materials he had available. Then he grabbed his weapons along with several extra magazines to make sure he didn't run out of ammo prematurely. He set up in the opposite end of the warehouse from where Spider-Man would most likely make his entrance, if he could get through the outer defenses that is. He waited, completely still, the shadows of the warehouse hiding him from view unless you already knew he was there. If Spider-Man could even make it inside then he should be badly injured, and thus easy prey. While the Spider had proven to be one of his more difficult targets, Deathstroke had gone up against far more powerful and dangerous opponents. The assassin had just recently gone up against Lobo, one of the most dangerous beings in the galaxy, one who is capable of trading blows with Superman. The Spider was good, but not good enough. Tonight would be his last night.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The black suit blended with the shadows as Spider-Man maneuvered carefully towards his destination. His Spider sense had already alerted him to over a dozen potential traps that had nearly killed him, ranging from automated machine gun turrets to explosives rigged to trip wires. So far, he had been able to successfully navigate through the area without setting anything off, but there was no telling when the Parker bad-luck would strike again. He reached the rooftop of the building, making sure to web up a motion sensor tucked away near the windows. No point in setting off a bomb this close to his goal. He then slowly began to lower himself through the rooftop window, scanning the area around him for any sign of the assassin. Once again his Spider sense saved him as a torrent of machine gun bullets were fired straight at him. Peter twisted and dived for the ground, dodging every bullet that came his way. The second the sound of the clip becoming empty reached Spidey's ears, he rushed towards the bullets' origin. Before taking two steps, another set of machine guns opened fire, twin Uzis this time. Once again, the Spider sense allowed Peter to contort his body out of the way so none of the bullets hit him. He ended up crouched on the wall opposite of the assassin, glaring into the shadows. There was the sound of metal scraping, and then Deathstroke emerged with his swords drawn.

"You have some sort of precog ability to go along with that agility of yours. Even with the speed you possess, there is no way you could have navigated through all of my traps and then dodged all of my fire without somehow knowing that there was danger and where it was coming from. I suspected that might be the case after you escaped from the bank, but this confirms it."

Spider-Man dived off the wall to try to speed blitz the assassin, rage coursing through him at the casual mention of the destroyed bank. Deathstroke was unsurprised by the tactic, having faced it many times before against the Teen Titans. His blade flashed, forcing Spider-Man to dodge backwards or lose his head. Wilson continued with a deadly combination of his swinging sword and a pistol, firing from the hip whenever he saw an opportunity to tag his evasive target. Peter attempted to strike back whenever he could; however he quickly realized that his attacks were being completely absorbed by his opponent's armor, he was doing more damage to his hands than he was to the assassin. Deathstroke was finally able to land a heavy kick that sent Spider-Man tumbling backwards, directly into the path of a well-timed bullet. While Spidey was able to dodge to make sure it avoided anything important, he now had a decent sized hole in his left shoulder. He jumped back to give himself some room and time to recover.

"What's wrong hero? Did you run out of jokes? Can't be bothered to crack wise anymore? Or did that incident at the bank make you realize what a failure of a hero you are? Fifty-three dead, a real tragedy." Peter's eyes narrowed as he once again moved in on Deathstroke, dodging several more shots as well as another swing from the sword. Using the techniques that Shang-Chi had helped him to develop months before, Spider-Man snaked his arm around Deathstroke's, twisting it painfully to weaken his grip on the sword. With lightning speed, Peter was able to snag the sword out of the assassin hands, and hurl it so it was impaled up to the hilt in the wall right near the ceiling. There was no possible way for Slade to safely recover the weapon while he was still fighting, attempting to do so would leave him wide open for Spidey to finish him off. However, as Spider-Man spun back towards the assassin, he was greeted by a bowie knife. The blade was fast, and while Parker was able to pull his body out of the way of the strike, he was unprepared when it unexpectedly turned towards his arm. Three fingers went flying through the air as Peter screamed in pain, holding onto the bloody stumps. When Deathstroke went to stab again his face was met with a snap kick containing 15 tons of power behind it. The assassin went spiraling in the opposite direction, crashing into a wall 10 feet away.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Peter was once again stuck to the wall out of the assassin reach as the two stared down at each other. Peter had webbed up both the bullet wound and his bleeding right hand, desperately trying to make sure that the outcome of the fight wouldn't be decided early due to blood loss. The injury reminded him painfully of a time when Kraven had delivered a similar blow that had removed two of his fingers previously. Like last time though, his healing factor would replace the missing digits in less than a day. Assuming he lived that long anyways. It had become apparent that despite fighting abilities that matched Captain America, his opponent was far more dangerous. That armor was allowing him to take all of Peter's strongest blows, and unless he found a way to remove it from the equation, this fight was as good as finished.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Deathstroke was breathing heavily, though he was working hard not to show it. That last attack had managed to hurt him, even though the armor showed no sign of damage. Deathstroke didn't like this, the fight was taking far too long. Sooner or later someone would hear what was happening, or someone would wander into one of the traps and attract attention as he died. Then, the police would arrive and ruin his plans. Even worse, other heroes might decide to make an appearance and make his plan of a clean get away impossible. He needed to end this now, but no matter how much he damaged the vigilante, Spider-Man refused to slow down, refused to give up. He wasn't going to go down until the final killing blow was delivered. He was determined, showing more dedication than any of the super-powered foes he had gone up against before. Any one of the Titans would be showing signs of despair at this point, realizing that with all of their powers they were still losing to an old man. Yet this man, he wasn't going to back down at all. Deathstroke could respect a man like that, one who would work tirelessly on their goals without ever letting losing focus. However, it was now clear how this fight would go from here. Spider-Man would try to utilize all his webs to try and restrain him, then move in to try to beat down his opponent before succumbing to blood lose. However Spider-Man would not be expecting Slade's final weapon, and while it appeared he did have a danger sense, that sense only gave him a warning of general danger and a direction. It would not give him the specific nature of the danger, and as a result he would be unprepared the tricks hidden in Slade's staff. Wilson pulled out the weapon now, flipping his wrist to extend the weapon to its full length. He then cocked his head towards the vigilante and waved him over, taunting him to attack. Spider-Man launched himself off the wall firing a barrage of web lines in an attempt to tangle up his foe, just as predicted. Deathstroke managed to dodge the attacks or counter them with minor energy discharges from his staff. When the Wall Crawler got close, Deathstroke spun the staff around and fired a full powered wide spread burst at Spidey. The vigilant had enough time to widen his eyes and desperately try to twist his body away as the blast slammed into the right side of his chest, burning away the costume and leaving the skin beneath slightly charred. Despite the extreme pain, Spider-Man was able to roll out of the way of the following, narrowed kill shot. He then used his webs to slingshot himself at Deathstroke, smashing into him head on and sending both men tumbling to the ground. They returned to their feet at the same time, Spidey managing to close the distance fast enough to prevent Wilson from firing once more. He swung out several desperate punches and kicks, hoping to get through Deathstroke's defense, his strength quickly fading as all of his injuries stacked onto one another. Slade was able to counter and parry the attacks with his staff, delivering another hard strike to Spidey's chest. His mind racing, Spidey came up with a final, desperate, crazy idea. Ejecting one of his web cartridges, Spidey took another blow to his injured shoulder as he smashed the cartridge straight into Deathstoke's face. The webbing exploded, completely covering the man's head. Deathstroke clawed at his face as he attempted to remove the obstacle to his breathing, but found no success in removing it. Gradually his struggles became weaker and weaker as he failed to take in oxygen. Spidey then ripped off both the webbing and the mask beneath it in a single move, revealing the slightly blue-faced old man inside. Slade turned his one eye back towards the Spider in time to see the black clad fist that smashed into his face.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Avengers had been informed of a group of warehouses being heavily booby trapped in the outskirts of New York. Iron Man, Spider Woman, and Captain Marvel had arrived on the scene to find investigate and to remove the traps. Inside one of the buildings the team found an old man lying stripped to his boxers, a pile of weapons and a suit of armor beside him. The man had been tied and gagged, webbing covering his entire body so that he was completely unable to move besides breathing. Lying propped up against the side of the building was a badly injured and unconscious Spider-Man, slowly recovering from the damage he had taken the previous night. His new fingers twitched as his brain continuously fired off nerve endings to check their condition. As Iron Man and Spider Woman carted off the assassin to hand over to S.H.I.E.L.D., Spider-Man awoke to see Carol Danver's looking down on him. He had enough energy to chuckle and quietly asked, "Any chance we can reschedule that date?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

There you have it folks, Spider-Man was able to just edge out the victory. As I said before, this is a very close fight, and in my opinion if the two were to fight 10 times, Spidey would only win 6 or 7. This is mainly due to Deathstroke's armor, had this fight occurred before his recent upgrade a serious, non-jobbing Spider-Man could likely win 10 out of 10. However these two are currently able to match each other extremely well, and the fight between the two is in no way guaranteed. Neither one would be able to walk away from that fight completely unharmed. It was the combination of the Spider sense and the webbing that gave Peter the needed push to take the win. Deathstroke has fought plenty of people as faster than Peter such as Kid Flash. He has fought people who are ALMOST as agile as Peter such as the Nightwing or Cassandra Cain. Howeve,r, he has not fought a person with both of those abilities along with a danger sense that made him aware of how and when to dodge. Also, while the armor was able to neutralize Spidey's strength advantage, Deathstroke doesn't have a fail-proof counter for the webbing. If the webbing can connect it will slow Slade, allowing for even more to hit him. While the various blades can cut the webbing, the webbing can also bog them down and make them ineffective. Deathstroke lacks the required strength to escape the webbing, and trapping the opponent so they are unable to fight is still a win. Peter is also one of the most spontaneous, out of the box thinkers in comics, Deathstroke's tactical mind would be challenged to be able to keep up with every single curveball that Peter throws at him. So this round in Superhuman Fight Club ends up with the Amazing Spider-Man taking the win as well as the title, King of the Streets!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Disclaimer-I own nothing

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

AN: This chapter was without question my favorite to write. I hope you all enjoyed it. Thanks to my beta sturm and drang. Please review and let me know what you guys thought about the chapter, did I do a good job representing both characters? Also, feel free to send me any fights you guys are interested in seeing, if I think it could be interesting I'll see what I can do with it. I've taken down the first chapter, I didn't feel it was on par with the others and I want to make it better. I will finish it after chapter 6 is complete. Finally, since I haven't made this clear yet, I'm not going to limit this story entirely to comics. If I get some good requests I would be more than happy to write some anime, book, or video game characters as well. This does NOT mean to send me a million requests for Goku vs Superman. Maybe I'll do it, maybe I won't. Try to be more original than that with requests. Thanks for reading!


	6. Animal House

**Chapter 6: No, seriously.**

**Superhuman Fight Club**

**Heroes and villains from every dimension have one thing in common. They thoroughly enjoy beating each other up. Whether they protect the streets in shadows, stand tall as a symbol of heroism, thrive off of stealing from the less fortunate, or let out a maniacal laugh as they slaughter the innocents, all fight for what they believe in. But the question is, in a fight with no rules, who is left standing? We will take various versions of these characters from any and all realms of media to see if we can find an answer. **

Disclaimer: I own nothing

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hello all, this is She-Hulk once again breaking the fourth wall for your amusement. Heroman45 and I are here for another round of Superhuman Fight Club. How you doing heroman?"

I'm doing alright, I'm just finishing up the Batman Punisher fight, so I'm back on schedule.

"You finished Batman vs Punisher? What the heck, I said I wanted to do some commentary for that one! I swear to God, if you let Deadpool take my spot on the chapter…"

Easy there, I have no intention of letting Deadpool anywhere near that chapter. It's just that I wrote the original version of it without either of you, and I wanted to do the same thing for the second version.

"Fine… does that mean Deadpool is coming to this chapter? If I have to deal with him this chapter, then you better be planning on giving me a HUGE raise."

Don't worry, he's not around right now, I think he's off plotting something or other with my Beta. He might be fighting soon.

"Who is he up against?"

One of the only characters in existence capable of dealing with that much crazy. Don't worry, I promise that win or lose, that chapter will cause him pain.

"Alright, as long as you can promise that much I won't pressure you into spilling the beans early."

Sounds good, now let's get started. From DC another one of the Teen Titans is making an appearance, the green shape shifting comedian Beast Boy! Garfield Logan was infected with a rare disease in his youth, and guaranteed an early death. His super genius parents decided to try an untested serum on him in an attempt to save his life. The cure worked but the procedure turned his hair and skin green.

"How original, a freak accident that turns the unfortunate victim into a green skinned super hero. Now where have I heard that before, my COUSIN maybe? I mean jeez, he came out like 3 years after Bruce as well, was DC even trying? At least they kept the powers different."

Don't be such a hater, beyond green skin, there are few similarities between Garfield and the Hulk. The serum gave Beast Boy the ability to change into any animal just by thinking of it. That includes ones that are extinct, and even a select few aliens. Even in human form he has enhanced senses and animal like reflexes. The animal DNA flowing through him also grants him a healing factor comparable to Deathstrokes, as well as resistance to various animal based toxins. As long as he has seen it, he can turn into it. Beast Boy has been in the hero business since he was a kid, first working with the Doom Patrol before joining the Teen Titans. He has been working with the Titans for the majority of his career, and has faced criminals ranging from assassins to magic users to mutants and aliens. However, the question of the day is whether or not this particular alien can defeat him.

"Beast Boy's opponent is someone with whom I've had a little experience with. We teamed up in one of my own books back in the seventies."

You mean back when you had that curly afro looking haircut?

"Yes, and if you mention that again I will hulk out and punch you. Got it?"

Sorry.

"Bad as that was, I still feel they gave me better treatment than Beast Boy's opponent. All I know for sure about him is that whatever they were smoking when they dreamed this guy up, I want some. Coming from outer space as a member of the Guardians of the Galaxy, we have Rocket Raccoon. This little guy and his team work to protect the universe from intergalactic threats, such as the Titan Thanos and yes, the raccoon part is literal. He looks like a raccoon, except from space. Despite his small stature, he is a skilled fighter, leader, and tech expert. He has all of the physical abilities of a normal Earth raccoon, as well as being a master tactician, pilot, and marksman. Oh he also has a partner/houseplant, Groot, who is a giant walking tree who hits stuff really hard."

He also has a British accent for some reason, apparently marvel sees raccoons as British or maybe they see British people as dumpster diving rodents, who can say..

"He is well known for using a high powered jetpack, living up to the name "Rocket." While he sometimes uses heavy weaponry, his favorite weapons are his twin high energy laser pistols. Those things pack a punch, they are powerful enough to hurt Bruce."

Wait, what?

"They would sting him and maybe knock him back a bit, they can't kill him."

Oh, ok I got it. I wonder just how much power a pistol would have to be packing in order to take down the Hulk. Kind of crazy to think about.

"I have a question. All the superpowered characters to choose from that you could have Beastboy fight, and you chose a raccoon with guns?"

Be quiet! It's my story and there is a plan, it might even involve a plot.

"You just liked the mental image of two raccoons in a slap fight. Didn't you?"

That had almost nothing to do with it!

"But it does have something to do with it?"

Shut it! Anyways, will the animal powered boy take the victory, or will the crazy little rodent hunt down his prey? These are the questions that shall be answered! Now, coming from Central Park, it's Animal House! Here we go!

"Another battle in New York… you are going to end up leveling this city before the series is over."

All bad things happen in the Big Apple, everybody knows that.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rocket Raccoon was having a very bad day. He had been traveling with his partner and house plant Groot to Earth, trying to get in touch with Star-Lord when some giant monster had ambushed their ship. While they had managed to take down the attacker, the Guardian's ship had been badly damaged and crash landed. The duo had reached landed in the Hudson River in the middle of the night, their ship's camouflage ability just barely functional enough to get them to the surface without detection. They had finally got in contact with Star-Lord, and he had informed the duo that he would be able to meet them the following night. He suggested that they find some cover for the day, which was how the two found themselves at Central Park. Groot was able to make himself look enough like a regular Earth tree that nobody would be suspicious, and Rocket was easily mistaken for just another forest creature. The humans would never even know that the two were there.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Beast Boy was having an amazing day. The previous week he had run away from Cyborg after the rust bucket had tried to force a hamburger down his throat, the cow-murdering fiend. He had jumped out the window claiming that he would find someone who appreciated nature more like he did. He had quickly realized the problem with this was that he was in New York City. He had travelled around the city, sampling pizza and exploring as a pigeon, it was the best way to blend in, and honestly, the local pigeons were surprisingly polite and helpful, if a bit dim. Eventually he had found his way over towards Central Park, using the form of a squirrel to maneuver around the trees and the craters from when Hulk and Doomsday had fought. It was in the park that he had run into his new friend.

He had noticed there was this girl sitting in a crowd of squirrels, she clearly wasn't normal, something about the fact that she had a giant tail had tipped him off.

This girl had noticed his weird color and started talking to him, not in English but in squirrel talk. He was so surprised that he had shifted back to his normal form. The girl had been startled too, but before he could say anything he had been attacked by a swarm of squirrels. His screams of panic and apology soon reached her ears and the horde vanished. She apologized for the unexpected attack, and the two teens got to talking. He learned that her name was Doreen Green and that they had a lot in common, mainly a belief in animal rights, and had ended up spending the next few days together. It also didn't hurt that she was good looking, in an animalistic way, which he was totally into.

After seeing Cyborg leave the city, Beast Boy had decided that instead of making his own way back he would instead stay in New York to hang out with Doreen until his pal realized what happened and came to get him. The two animal themed teens had continued to hang out, and just today the young shape shifter had managed to secure a picnic in the park. He was just on his way back from an ice cream vendor, carrying two cones for their dessert, mint chocolate chip for him, and acorn for her, he was actually surprised that the vendor had that flavor. The giant grin on his face only disappeared when a raccoon in a blue jumpsuit fell out of a tree, grabbed an ice cream cone from the confused teens green hands, and then made a mad dash in the opposite direction.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rocket had quickly realized the problem with Star-Lord's plan of hiding in the park all day long, that problem being the raccoon's stomach. He had not eaten in over 24 hours since he had left for Earth. While Groot would be fine just using his roots, unless the space pilot got some grub in his stomach he was going to go mad. For hours he watched the clueless humans parade around beneath his perch holding all sorts of goodies. Hot dogs, giant pretzels, candy, burgers, all of these had passed him by and all he could do was watch. When he had seen the strange green looking kid walk by with TWO ice cream cones, he decided that it might be okay to briefly let his presence be known. There was no way that the green kid needed two cones, and if Rocket moved quickly enough he would be able to grab one and scram before the kid even knew what hit him. He would just think that he had been attacked by a vicious, starving Earth animal.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The plan had gone south about two seconds after Rocket made his dash away. But really, how could one plan for a teenage boy suddenly changing into a massive green wolf? Rocket's short lead was rapidly shrinking, and the screams of all the people fleeing at the sight of the wolf were hurting his ears. Eventually he reached an area that had no people in the way. That was the moment Rocket spun around to stand on his hind legs, one arm pulling out a pistol while the other shoved the stolen ice cream cone down his throat. "Alright you wanker, let's see how well you can play."

The green wolf had stopped when it saw the gun aimed at its face. It stared at the gun and then at Rocket before it tilted its head for a moment, as if it was in thought, and then slowly began to back up. Rocket's eyes narrowed, taking the move as a sign of cowardice. He pulled out his second pistol and started walking towards the snarling animal. With a smirk forming on his face, Rocket opened fire.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The second ice cream cone had fallen to the ground as the shock of the raccoon attack overloaded Beast Boy's brain. When he had returned to senses from his dazed state he had one thing to say. "DUDE! THAT'S MY ICE CREAM!" Abandoning the cone already on the ground, Beast Boy transformed into one of the raccoon's natural predators, the wolf. With a bit of luck, he would be able to corner the animal and steal back the cone. Less than a minute later he was instead taking on the form of a mouse fleeing desperately from the high powered lasers. Maybe this day wasn't going to go quite as well as he had thought.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rocket scanned the area around him, turning slowly as he tried to find any trace of his mysteriously vanishing opponent. Seeing nothing, Rocket took the disappearance as a sign of victory. "That's what I thought! Nobody gets away with trying to eat this raccoon!"

"Hey! I'm a vegetarian dude, I don't eat meat! I just wanted my ice cream back!" Rocket spun around to see the green boy crouched behind a tree a few meters away. Another barrage of laser blasts sent the Titan scrambling back behind the tree.

"Aw come on dude! I spend my life going out of my way trying to save the animals and they try to pay me back by killing me! What kind of raccoon are you anyways? Shouldn't you be crawling around in trash cans instead of shooting lasers and talking?"

"DON'T MAKE JOKES ABOUT THOSE STUPID DUMPSTER DIVING LOOK ALIKES! I am a member of the Guardians of the Galaxy, I'm not going to let some mangy mutt attack me and then try to cower out of a fight! You wanted your ice cream back, well too bad! I hadn't eaten anything in more than a day! I regret nothing!" With that the galactic hero fired a barrage of lasers that reduced the tree to a flaming pile of splinters. He was unprepared for the green hawk that dove down at him from out of the smoke.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

There was no way that Beast Boy was going to let himself get beaten by a raccoon in a fight. Sure the raccoon might have some sort of laser guns, but how many of the baddies he had fought DIDN'T have some sort of laser? The only thing special about this thing was that it learned to speak English and apparently came from space. But so what? he could say the same about Starfire. "The other Titans never listened to me, but this is the exact kind of situation that a trained army of hamsters could come in handy! I don't suppose you know were I can find some talking hamsters?"

Beast Boy had easily dodged the blast that had destroyed the tree, he then had to dodge bigger ones, and apparently this rodent didn't like the sound of his voice. Several falling trees provided cover that he used to sneak up closer, shifting into a wasp, he zoomed through the debris.. Once he got close enough he shifted into a hawk. This form was nimble enough to dodge the single shot Rocket was able to get off before the form's talons swiped downwards, forcing the heavily armed woodland animal to dive out of the way. Before he had time to recover his bearings Beast Boy switched into his rhino for and rushed forward, smashing into the furry marksman. Rocket went flying backwards, dropping one of his guns as he spiraled away. Rather then follow up with a gorilla strike Beast boy darted over to the dropped gone and shifted into a raccoon.

"Oh bloody hell, you have got to be kidding me."

"Nope! Lets see how you like it!" Beast Boy responded grinning as much as a raccoon can and aiming one of Rockets pistols at him, he then opened fire. Rocket yelped and leapt into the air, returning fire with his remaining pistol. Then both fighters yelped again as the pistols were simultaneously blasted out of both of their hands. Snarling he leaped at the green shape shifter, The two raccoons tumbling, biting, scratching, and slapping at each other.

Suddenly disengaging, Rocket turned and fired up his jetpack at beast boy, causing the titan to yelp as his fur was set on fire. While he was rolling on the ground, Rocket zoomed around, grabbing both his pistols off the ground and taking to the skies.

It was time to show this green son of a possum what for.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rocket was flying just above the tree line, dive bombing the rapidly shifting titan. The green teen was switching between many fast, highly maneuverable forms in order to dodge the laser fire. Everything from a cheetah to a squirrel, Beast Boy was proving to be a very difficult target to hit. Rocket decided to dive in close and end the fight in a kamikaze style blitz, his favorite. He dove in, both of his guns firing nonstop. Beast Boy, currently in the form of a rabbit, picked up the sound of the approaching from behind him. Timing the move perfectly, he switched into a kangaroo, leaping above the dive-bombing raccoon, taking the altitude advantage for himself. Then he transformed into a squid in midair, using his tentacles to latch onto the raccoon's passing leg. When Rocket turned to aim at the changling, he got a face full of ink. Beast Boy then pulled himself in to land on top of the jetpack, attempting to sabotage it. Instead he smashed head first into a tree as Rocket went into a barrel roll to shake off his hitchhiker.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Owww… I thought that move was a star fox thing, not a space raccoon thing…" Beast Boy groan quietly to himself as he lay on the ground. When he heard the whine of the jetpack approaching once more, he switch his form once more to take cover. A small green mouse was nearly invisible in the grass, Rocket had no idea where he should aim. The space animal approached slowly at a hover, his guns aimed forward as he searched for his target. When Beast Boy felt Rocket was close enough, he started to spin as a mouse then shifted into a stegosaurus, using the momentum to bash the little bandit out of the air with his hard clubbed tail. Rocket managed to twist in the air at the last second, turning what would have been a finishing move into a glancing blow. A stream of laser fire burned into the massive reptiles back, causing Beast Boy to bellow in pain as he switched back to his human form.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rocket had a clear shot on his target, the green boy had still failed to rise from the last barrage of lasers. The Guardian was still hovering about 10 feet away from the prone Titan. While Rocket had wanted to teach the kid a lesson, he had no desire to kill the shape shifter, he wasn't anywhere near big enough of a threat for that. It would be against what the Guardians of the Galaxy stood for. At least, that was what the raccoon thought before the most ungodly smell in existence overtook him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Beast Boy had stayed on the ground, hoping that playing possum would buy him a bit of time. All of his most powerful transformations were failing, they were just making him a bigger target. The raccoon was so maneuverable that all of the animals' attacks were being dodged like they were jokes. His only form with more firepower would be the T-Rex, but even that wouldn't be durable enough to take another shot. So he would have to resort to trickery…

The average skunk can spray a target about 15 feet away. Rocket was well within this target range, meaning when Beast Boy transformed and fired, the Guardian had no chance to dodge. He was reeling in midair, desperately flailing around in hopes of escaping the horrible smell. That was when the Titan launched himself into the air as a mountain cat, smashing into the flying animal and sending both tumbling into the ground. A quick shift into an octopus gave the Titan the ability to rip off the jetpack and throw both of the pistols in opposite directions. Finally, a shift into the Tyrannosaurus Rex pinned Rocket underneath a massive foot as the beast let loose a mighty triumphant roar.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Beast Boy stood before the defeated Rocket, a cocky grin on his face to match the scowl on the raccoons.

"So it looks like I won and dude, you owe me an apology!"

"Don't be ridiculous boy, I will not be apologizing for trying to feed myself! You should be the one to apologize, you attacked me!"

"I was only trying to get back at least one of my ice cream cones for my friend… oh man Doreen! I was so busy fighting you, I completely forgot about her!"

"Well, too bad for you lad, but I'm afraid that you didn't quite get the win you were hoping. I'm going to have to cut this little meeting short. GROOT! BASH HIM!" There was a pause for several seconds, and then a few more. Beast Boy looked around nervously, then turned back to face the raccoon looking puzzled. Rocket was also looking around, an impatient look on his face.

"I AM GROOT!" Both heroes looked over to see a small stick with a face on it. The stick was in the hands of a young girl, her tail swinging casually behind her. A small squirrel with a bow was sitting behind her, and dozens more surrounded her on all sides.

"I heard you fighting over there Beast Boy, and I saw this guy going over to try intervene, so my friends and I chopped him down for you. So you won then?"

Rocket was staring at his defeated and captured partner in horror. "How did you manage to take down Groot? He has gone head to head with the Hulk, there is no way you managed to beat him so easily we never even heard a fight!"

Beast Boy was also looking at the girl with a confused look on his face. "Yeah Doreen, how did you do that?"

"I told you BB, you're not the only superhero in this relationship. Now, I believe our friends here have a meeting they need to keep shortly? What do you say we get out of here, get some ice cream, and finish up our picnic?"

"That sounds awesome dude!" Beast Boy and Doreen went off out of the park, leaving a discarded Groot and a stunned Rocket behind them.

Rocket looked at his partner furiously, "How the bloody hell did you lose to a bunch squirrels? You're a giant walking tree!"

The stick turned to face the fallen raccoon and responded, "I AM GROOT!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Star-Lord walked into the clearing where he was supposed to meet his teammates. To his surprise, instead of seeing the ever tough members of the Guardians of the Galaxy, see was instead met with the sight of Groot in stick form being chewed on by a squirrel. Several feet away, Rocket was retrieving his discarded pistols, and smelling distinctly of rotten eggs.

"So what did I miss?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

AN: Thanks once again to my beta sturm and drang helping out. Last chapter was apparently a hit, lots of good reviews. In response to one guest, I'm not trying to play favorites between Marvel and DC, I'm trying to just give my take on who would win certain fights. Both Batman and Beast Boy have won their fights, I just felt that the Marvel characters had the advantage in the other rounds. I don't have company bias, just favorite characters. That is one of the reasons I have a beta; to argue counterpoints for both characters and figure out the winner.

The redo for Batman and Punisher should be up already, so please check out that chapter as well. I feel it is greatly improved from the previous version, and I would like some feedback on that. Lastly, the next chapter should be posted in a day or two. However, while I made the outline and planning for the chapter, my beta begged me to be the one to write it. While I had heavy input, I let him go ahead and do so. I'll be working on chapter 8 instead. Also, I'm trying to flesh out another idea I had for a chapter, I would appreciate it if you guys helped me out. Who do you consider to be the top 5 street level sword users in comics? Thanks for reading and please review.


	7. Nuts to you

**Superhuman Fight Club.**

**Heroes and villains from every dimension have one thing in common. They thoroughly enjoy beating each other up. Whether they protect the streets in shadows, stand tall as a symbol of heroism, thrive off of stealing from the less fortunate, or let out a maniacal laugh as they slaughter the innocents, all fight for what they believe in. But the question is, in a fight with no rules, who is left standing? We will take various versions of these characters from any and all realms of media to see if we can find an answer.**

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing except the plot for this story. Except this computer… maybe, I'm pretty sure the clothes I'm wearing are mine too. Hmmm. Okay maybe nothing was a bit of an exaggeration.

S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D

Now it is time for a battle between titans, between two of the strongest characters from Marvel and DC. The unstoppable Man of Steel, Superman and the Titan of Death, Thanos! These two are-

"You might want to take a rain check on that."

"Deadpool?"

"No it's a Lady Gaga, oh course it's me. Hey wait…you're not the usual author guy, who the hell are you?"

"I'm Sturm and Drang, Heroman45's Beta, I contribute to this story. Big fan of yours by the way, you're awesome.

"Well at least you've got good taste buddy."

"You're welcome, but what was that you were saying about a rain check?"

"The big purple guy, and the guy with the S on his chest, I think it stands for sissy. I don't think they are going to be able to fight for long, I'd only give them about 1000 words or so, barely worth a picture really."

"I very much doubt that, this is Thanos, the titan who holds greater power than almost anyone else, and Superman, SUPERMAN! I doubt anyone is going to be able to take those two out in 1000 words.

"Okay, I admit, that number might be a little bit high."

"Well, it doesn't matter because they aren't going to be taken out like that."

"They are, it's my turn for my fight and I think you know what's coming, you've been looking forward to this fight since it was first planned after all."

"Wait… you don't mean…"

"mmmmhhhhhmmmmm."

"Oh God! If that's the case I'd better make a proper introduction for the goddess of destruction who is coming. It's-" SMACK. "OWW! Did you just hit me with a pineapple!"

"Yeah, didn't you see me throw it?"

"Why?!"

"Because this is my fight. My fight. I don't need no introduction for it, I'll tell the readers what's happening throughout the story myself. Meaning you, my dear little fan, are not needed"

"Wait! Deadpool! Stop! Put the rooster down! Don't mmmrmmfojhdbfp pjnfpi pbthpbthpbthp…"

"Oh stop squirming. I won't hurt you too much. It's not personal, It's just that I'm gonna do any introduction, regardless of whether I do them or not. Here let me just plug into this computer, that way those guys in my head can get in on this story.

"_Hey! Hey! Can you hear us? We're the voices in Deadpool's head. This is going to be awesome!"_

"**Yes. The readers being able to hear us will certainly be helpful. We can be used for expositional purposes."**

"Yeah whatever, anyway, don't forget that only you readers can hear my voices, well so can I but that's obvious. Anyway people, I hope you are ready for this fight. Cause once I'm done eating all of Sturm and Drang's food, things are gonna get epic."

S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D

There was a standoff going down in New York Central Park. There was a large figure bulging with muscles; he was wearing a blue uniform, augmented with gold armor. The only visible part of his flesh was his face. He had purple skin, which was overshadowed by his eyes. These eyes were dying stars, a red glare slowing fading into a bottomless black hole. He was Thanos, the mad Titan, he who courts death.

Standing across from him was a smaller figure. He was dressed and a red and blue skintight suit, again bulging with muscles. He had a red cape flowing in the wind, and upon his chest, he bore a crest that resembled an S within a distorted triangle. He was Clark Kent, the Man of Steel, the unstoppable Superman.

Thanos was grinning in delight. "Kal-El of Krypton." He sneered, his voice echoing with the emptiness of the void. "You are the last Kryptonian in existence. Your death, and the extinction of your race will make a magnificent gift for my lady Death."

Superman glared at the titan. "You think you can defeat me? I've taken down countless foes far more dangerous than you." He tightened his hands into fists and launched himself at the grinning monster. He slammed right into Thanos who grunted and slid back a couple of feet. The titan then grabbed Superman's cape and slung him in an arc over his head, slamming the Man of Steel into the ground. Then he kicked Superman across the park into a cluster of trees.

"You are strong, Kryptonian. But that is not enough. In the end, all things will kneel before my mistress, you are no exception." Ignoring the Titan's monologue, Superman stood and inhaled deeply. He exhaled an enormous breathe of frost, freezing Thanos's legs to the ground and then shot an intense heat beam from his eyes. This time it was Thanos who was launched through a tree.

"Maybe I will bow to death in the end, but you aren't going to be the one who shall make me." Thanos got up and charged at the Kryptonian at the same time Superman ran forward to meet him. Their collision shook the ground, the two super powered monsters locked hands each trying to force the other into submission.

"Ahem. What do you two think you're doing in my park?"

Both Superman and Thanos paused in their struggles to find the source of the voice. They found a small figure standing a few feet away, glaring at them with hands on hips. Thanos' eyes widened at the sight. He knew this person.

"No." he whispered, his voice tinged with absolute horror "Not you."

S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D

**Two minutes earlier:**

Doreen Green was sitting in New York Central Park, in the middle of a crowd of squirrels. Her bushy tail swaying absentmindedly as she fussed over a grass green squirrel sitting in her lap.

"Are you alright Beast Boy? That raccoon did a number on you." She chattered, grooming the squirrel's tail.

The squirrel stretched and relaxed in pleasure underneath her hands as she ran her nails through his fur.

"Yeah, I'm doing okay. Well as okay as I can be after getting shot with a laser by a raccoon. But if Cyborg or any of the other Titans find out about that, I'll never live it down. That's like, the third most embarrassing thing I could be shot by. Thanks for helping me with the tree thingy by the way."

"My pleasure. And don't worry about being hurt by a raccoon, they are evil incarnate." She picked up Beast Boy and looked him in the eye.

"Never trust any rodent that wears a mask, they hide things. Evil things." The squirrels around her all chattered in agreement. Raccoons steal nuts; it's a well-known fact.

"So what do you want to do now?"

Beast Boy hesitated, "Actually I was wondering if I could hang out with you for a while longer. Cyborg left me behind when he went back to Jump City. I don't want to fly all the way back to California right now. Plus, Raven is probably still mad at me; I accidently dyed all her cloaks pink, totally not my fault, could have happened to anyone. Anyway, I think being in New York is far enough away for me to be safe from her. Maybe."

Doreen smiled, showing off her front buckteeth. "Awwww, of course you can stay with me Beastie." Suddenly, another squirrel, a black one with a pink bow leapt onto her shoulder and started squeaking urgently. Doreen looked at the squirrel. "Calm down Tippy-Toe, and speak slower, you're stuttering."

Tippy-toe took a deep breathe and started over. As she continued to chatter on both Doreen and Beast Boy began to frown. "There's trouble in the park Beastie."

"Yeah" Beast Boy nodded, face grim. "But we are superheroes." He jumped onto her shoulder. "Let's check it out."

Doreen nodded. Someone was causing trouble in her favorite park. That was just not okay. They better not hurt any squirrels or they would feel her wrath.

For she was Squirrel Girl, Destroyer of All that Breathes.

S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D

**Present time: 7.3 seconds later.**

"_Holy Crap, did you guys just see that? I didn't know Superman's spine could bend like that."_

"**I'm not sure that it's supposed to."**

"_She's literally making him eat his cape, do you have any idea how badass that is?"_

"**About as badass as we are?"**

"_Sounds about right."_

"Shut up guys! I'm trying to focus." Deadpool hissed. He was hiding in a bush with a pair of binoculars; he also had a tree branch tied to his head for camouflage.

"**Shouldn't we fill any readers in on just who Squirrel Girl is, in case they don't know? I mean we did sort of stop that Storm and Dragon guy from giving a proper introduction."**

"Fine. But make it snappy, we're gonna need to be ready to start phase one soon."

"_Alright! Doreen Greens, or Squirrel Girl, also known as the destroyer of all that breathes, is a girl who has all the powers of a squirrel."_

"**Think Spiderman, except with squirrels"**

"_And she's a chick."_

"**Yes, and she can talk to them and make them do her biddings, even though I'm pretty sure Spiderman can't control spiders" **

"_And she's pretty hot!"_

"**I will admit, the tail is rather fetching… Anyway, she may sound weak but she has actually singlehandedly defeated many huge powerhouses, including Doctor Doom, Wolverine, MODOK, and Thanos."**

"_And us! She beat us up that one time too."_

"**I was trying to forget about that. Those squirrels were everywhere."**

"_Yeah, I still have nightmares. This furry chick is pretty much as powerful as they get, scary stuff right there."_

"**One last detail you need to know is that her greatest victories all occurred off screen, she is literally unbeatable off screen."**

"And that's one of the reasons we are gonna be able to beat her."

"_Beat her? Wait you mean you were being serious about that fighting her? Are you crazy!?"_

"**Considering you are a voice in his head, I don't think that's a question you can really ask."**

"_Why are you so calm about this? You know what will happen to us if we fight her."_

"**I do, that is why we have a plan."**

"_We do?" _

"Yep, now I really need you two to make like a mime, and shut up while I get this show on the road." Tearing his eyes away from the sight of Thanos screaming in terror as squirrels ran up his pant leg, Deadpool picked up a walkie-talkie "Come in Trojan Nut, do you read me Trojan nut?"

"**You need to hold down the button."**

"Shut up I knew that." Click. "Come in lieutenant walnut, do you read me?"

"Um… Yes I read you, Mr. Deadpool." A nervous voice could be heard coming from the device.

"_Oh, is that Bob? From Hydra? He's part of the plan?"_

"**Where were you while this plan was being made?"**

"_I was thinking about tacos, and knives. I like knives."_

"Good Bob. Now I need to know if you are in position."

"Uh…yes I'm at the park warehouse."

"There should be a box with my name on it."

"Umm… there is but your name is spelled wrong."

"**I tried to tell you that our name doesn't have two e's."**

"_Seriously though, knives are really cool. So are explosives"_

"Silence! My name transcends spelling, now open the box and put on what's inside. Then wait for my signal."

"Okay…is this going to be dangerous?"

"No, if everything goes according to plan I'm going to be just fine."

"_Think we could get our hands on some explosive knives?"_

"**I don't think those would be very practical, they would just explode in your hand."**

"Oh that's a relief. I think. Right I'm putting it on… Okay I'm all set."

"Great now just wait for signal. Red Hot Awesome Ninja Guy over and out." Deadpool turned of the walkie-talkie and attached it to his belt. He looked through the binoculars again, observing the carnage. "Right. It looks like she's almost done." Deadpool picked up what looked like an air rifle with an abnormally large barrel and a box with a couple of holes in it. "Alright Squirrely. I hope you're ready for round two. Cause here comes Deadpool. He stood up and started running, when the tree branch on his head threw him off balance, and he tripped, slamming his face into a tree.

"_We're so doomed."_

"**Yeah, probably."**

"Shut it."

S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D

The slaughter had ended. Thanos and Superman were both lying face down on the ground, both beaten far into the realm of unconsciousness. Several squirrels were running around Thanos, while Tippy-Toe was sitting on the Man of steel's back, gnawing on what was left of his cape. Standing over them was Squirrel Girl, hands on her hips. Glaring at the pair of them. "And next time you two think about causing trouble, make sure you do it somewhere that you won't be able to hurt any squirrels."

Beast Boy, still in squirrel form, was still sitting on her shoulder, slack-jawed in absolute awe. "Dude…" he whispered. "You just beat up Superman."

"I don't care if he's the President of the United States. Nobody is going to get away with hurting squirrels." Squirrel Girl turned and started walking off, tail held high and with a smirk on her face. Beast Boy just continued to stare.

"Dude…I think I'm in love."

"I'm sorry Beastie, what was that?" she turned to look at him.

"Uh…nothing"

"Hey! SQUIRREL GIRL!" They both turned to look at the new voice. A guy in a red and black suit was running towards them. He had two swords on his back and was holding some kind of rifle, which he appeared to be loading. He also had a tree branch tied to his head for some reason. Squirrel Girl narrowed her eyes.

"Deadpool" she hissed.

"Who?" asked Beast Boy.

"A crazy mercenary, it looks like he's here for a fight."

"Is he dangerous?"

"Well yeah, but nothing I can't handle, I've beaten him before."

Deadpool stopped about twenty feet away from them and waved. "Yo! Squirrely! Are you ready for this?"

"Ready for what?"

"Rabid Hamsters." With that the merc with a mouth leveled his rifle and pulled the trigger. With a bang a brown furry thing came blasting out of the muzzle, shooting right past Squirrel Girl and blasting into Tippy-Toe.

"TIPPY-TOE!" Squirrel Girl screamed. She darted over to her friend who was unconscious and being ravaged by a hamster that was frothing at the mouth. She pulled the hamster off and threw it away. Then she turned back to Deadpool, only to see the mercenary was running like hell. "DEADPOOL! I'm going to KILL YOU." She roared, taking off after the crimson merc. She began to chatter while running deeper into the woods. She was answered with the sounds of hundreds and then thousands of little feet on wood. Her army had come, she was gonna slaughter that mercenary.

S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D

Beast Boy got up off the ground and chased after her. Something was bugging him, this guy, Deadpool. He had a funny feeling that he had a better plan than just shooting a rabid hamster at her. Which was totally awful by the way. He made a mental note to smack the guy after this was over. Everybody knows you are supposed to use gerbils.

He was clearly insane. But then so was Slade, and for some creepy reason this Deadpool guy felt a little bit like him. A bit like a crazy brother or something. Beast Boy felt like his new, rather attractive, friend was gonna need some help.

"_Guys! I'm not in my happy place right now. Why did we shoot that squirrel?"_

"**Don't worry. That was part of the plan. It made her mad and chase us. It's making sure she gathers all of her squirrels keeping none in reserve. Also that squirrel was her sidekick. It's quite intelligent. Word is, it can operate a blender."**

"_Seriously? Cool."_

"Can't you guys just be quiet for once? This has to be timed right." Deadpool was busy running like hell. He reached into a box on his belt and pulled out another rabid hamster. Once he had loaded it into his rabid hamster rifle, he grabbed his walkie-talkie. "Come in captain cashew! Private peanut come in!"

"**Button."**

"We already established that I know that." Click. "Bob! It's time. As soon as you see me stop running, I need you to be ready to come out and run in the other direction. Got it."

"Yes sir! Mr. Deadpool. I won't let you down."

"You'd better not." Deadpool reached a clearing with a warehouse on the side and stopped once he reached the far side and turned. Now he just had to wait for the army he knew was coming.

He didn't have to wait long.

The trees began to swarm with squirrels. They were everywhere. The trees began to shake with their sheer numbers.

"_That is a lot of squirrels."_

He saw her moving through the trees rapidly. She landed in front of him. He could see cracks spreading through the ground beneath her.

"Now BOB! Now!" The door to the warehouse burst open, and Bob came running out.

He was dressed up as a giant acorn. Every single squirrel froze and watched him run out of the clearing. They all watched him silently, then as one mass, dashed after him. Within ten seconds Deadpool and Squirrel Girl were the only two left in the area. Deadpool laughed out loud. "Take that you bucktoothed demon! Now it's just you and me."

"You think I need my friends to beat the stuffing out of you? Not a chance Deadpool. You are going to pay for what you did to Tippy-Toe." She leapt at him. Then ducked as the mercenary leveled his rifle at her and shot another hamster.

She darted at him on all fours and punched him, sending him flying back into a tree. Deadpool cursed, and reached for the box with his ammo in it. He didn't have time to load the gun again so he just opened the box and threw all the rabid hamsters at the furry monster. However rather than getting her face bitten off like he hoped, she did a handstand, whipping her tail up and batting hamsters straight back at him. They then proceeded to start biting his face.

"Ahhh! God damn it!" Deadpool started dancing around the clearing trying to rip the vicious little monsters off his face. "That's it! I'm never using hamsters again. They're just too treacherous." He turned and saw Squirrel Girl doubled over laughing at him. He narrowed his eyes and lunged at her. She tried to dodge, but she was too short of breath. He grabbed her by the tail and started spinning her around. "Around and around and around we go!" he shouted letting go and sending her into a tree.

While both of them started staggering around out of dizziness, Deadpool staggered in her general direction, and punched her in the face. Only to have her lash out with her leg, hitting him right between the legs. She yelped and started hopping around on one leg clutching the leg she had kicked with. "Ha! Jokes on you girl, I keep a gun in my pants at all times for exactly that reason."

He grabbed at her but she managed to hop backwards and lashed out with her tail. Slapping him in the face, making him spin around. "Ow"

"_Oh yuck, hairball. Dude she just bitch slapped you, are you gonna take that?"_

"**We need to try something else."**

"_I know! Use your sharp pointy things!"_

"Hey, yeah! Let's do that." Deadpool reached up and drew his katanas. "Hope you're ready fur-face. I'm gonna turn you into soup and then I'm gonna feed that soup to starving puppies." He leapt at her swinging his blades like the madman that he is.

"_Hey we're not mad. We're just misunderstood!"_

"**Once again, considering you're a voice in Deadpool's head, I don't think you're the best person to make that argument."**

Deadpool kept swinging his swords, no matter how he lunged or stabbed Squirrel girl managed to stay just one step ahead, until finally he was able to land a blow, knocking the flat of his blade into her head. She staggered back clutching the bump on her head.

"Something's wrong." She muttered. "This fight shouldn't be going like this."

Deadpool laughed. "Surprised Brown-Tail? I understand your abilities better than even you do. You may be the Destroyer of All that Breathes, but only off screen, I prepared for that. I have tons of cameras all over this place. The numbers of cameras on us are keeping you firmly not off screen. Also, don't expect the scene to suddenly change, I tied up the author and left him somewhere to make sure that wouldn't happen" Deadpool reached into his pocket and pulled out a remote. "You see this? This keeps track of and controls all the cameras around here. As long as I got this there isn't a thing you can do."

_Yeah! Stick it to her man."_

"**Wait…all the cameras are controlled by that one remote? Don't you think that's a little dangerous? What if something happens to it?"**

"_Oh please. What could possibly go wrong?"_

Squirrel girl lunged at the remote, but she wasn't fast enough, Deadpool leaned back and shoved the remote down his pants. Then he kicked out and hit her in the stomach, knocking her to the ground. Deadpool stood over her triumphantly and held his sword above his head. "Sorry Fuzz ball, it looks like you lose." Before he could bring his katana down he felt something hit him in the back.

Something squirrel sized. And then it crawled down his pants.

"Oh God." Deadpool started jumping around, desperately trying to get his belt undone. When he managed to get the clasp undone and slid down his pants, a grass green squirrel leapt out.

It had the remote.

"No!" Deadpool shouted, pulling out one of his many guns from somewhere and firing away. "Drop that you little brussel sprout!" The squirrel managed to dodge the bullets, the remote didn't.

"Aw man!" Deadpool whined, "do you have any idea how much that remote cost me?"

"**I wasn't under the impression that we paid for it."**

The squirrel just stopped and looked at Deadpool. It looked about as smug as any squirrel could. "Dude. I think you have got bigger problems."

"_Dude. Call me crazy. But I could have sworn that squirrel was just talking to us."_

"**Never mind that. If the remote destroyed, then the cameras are down. That must mean…"**

Deadpool froze, and slowly turned around. Standing behind him, hands on her hips and a grin on her face was Squirrel Girl. He could see in her eyes a promise of complete and utter doom.

"Well" she said. "If those cameras are gone, then it is only a matter of time till one of these scene changes happen."

"No! I'm not gonna give it time to." Deadpool leapt at squirrel girl, katana at the ready, when suddenly-

S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D

"Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto" Cyborg sang along with the radio. He was in heaven. Thanks to Tony Stark, his baby was handling like a dream. Imagine how awesome it would be when he finally got it upgraded with Starks tech.

It had been a couple of days since he had left New York, and he was already halfway back home. It was great. Life was great. Everything was great!

"Oh God! Oh God! Make it stop! For the love of God make them stop!"

Cyborg frowned, pausing the radio, and listening carefully. Was someone screaming? After a few minutes of hearing nothing, he shrugged and turned back on the radio.

"They're in my mask! They're in my mask! Make it stop!"

"I can't be the only one hearing that. Do you hear that Beast Boy?" Cyborg paused… "Oh Crap! Beast Boy!"

S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D

Squirrel girl took a step backwards and observed the quivering mass of flesh that was formerly Deadpool. She nodded in satisfaction, a job well done.

She walked over to the green squirrel and bent down to pick him up. She held him up to eye level and smiled at him. "Thanks a lot Beastie! I couldn't have done it without you."

"Don't mention it. No seriously don't mention it. I don't want to think of where I had to go to get that remote." He shuddered.

"Aww… don't worry, you're still my hero." She kissed the squirrel on his nose. Beast Boy froze, his tail frizzing out and turning bright red. Then he passed out, his eyes having been replaced with hearts. Squirrel girl just giggled.

She looked down when she felt something tugging on her leg.

"Tippy-Toe! You're alive! Are you sure you're alright, that hamster was rabid."

Tippy-Toe chattered at her, holding up a tiny needle.

"Oh good! You gave yourself a rabies shot. I guess having you carry one of those around was a good idea after all." She picked up the squirrel and placed Tippy-Toe on her shoulder. "Let's go home. Beastie and I have had an exhausting day." She skipped off, leaving Deadpool writhing in agony.

Bob stumbled through the woods, his acorn costume in tatters. It honestly hadn't been as terrible as it could have been, the squirrels had only been after the costume, and for the most part they hadn't really bitten him. Admittedly he might need a shot, but apart from that he was fine. Which was weird, normally he got hurt a lot worse doing anything for Deadpool.

He eventually stumbled back into the clearing. It was heavily damaged, and there was a red oozing puddle in a crater in the center. Funny, it almost looked like…

"Mr. Deadpool!" Bob gasped. "Are you alright?"

Deadpool moaned, and struggling to lift his arm, he carefully attempted to flip the bird at Bob, only to have his middle finger fall off.

"_Hate to say I told you so but… wait no I don't. I totally called this. I told you we were doomed."_

"Shuddap." Deadpool moaned.

S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D

kljnvfmimmmm-mmmm… nuh… mmmff…Okay, I'm free, I've gotten rid of the rooster. And the fight is all over. You all knew I was being imprisoned. Why didn't any of you help me? Not even Heroman helped me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Considering he hijacked my story for this chapter, I felt morally obligated to leave him there for as long as possible.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I would give a breakdown of the fight, but it seems pretty self explanatory to me. After all, you read what happened. Deadpool tried his hardest to account for Squirrel Girls powers and failed, it happens. He'll recover…eventually.

Anyway, that's all folks. Let me know how you felt about the chapter, was everyone in character? Did the chapter flow properly? Am I awesome? Etc. etc.

I had a blast writing this. Except for the bit with the rooster. That wasn't fun at all. Also, thanks Heroman45 for letting me write this chapter. I like Deadpool. Eat tacos and prosper and all that.

P.S: about the SG/BB shipping going on… I regret nothing, you're free to whine about it, the worst you'll be able to do is type at me in ALL CAPS. And that's not nearly as intimidating as I now find roosters.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hello all, Heroman here. Bit of a role reversal on this chapter, my beta wrote the story and I was the beta for it. Deadpool is his favorite character, I couldn't say no when he asked if it would be all right if he wrote it. He is a bit more humor focused than I am, and it really shows in this chapter. If you liked this chapter, leave a review and maybe I'll let Sturm and Drang write another crazy chapter like this at some point down the line. If you didn't like this chapter, well then it sucks to be you because I found it pretty funny. If this answer doesn't satisfy you, go flame Sturm and Drang, he would love to be able to argue with you and show you the error of your ways.

Anyways, next round will be the first fight with more than two fighters. A 5 on 5 team battle requested by Spiderfan626, should be interesting as I've never tried a fight on this scale before.

Finally, in response to a review I received for the last chapter, telling me to write a chapter featuring "the evil talking ape from DC," is not enough information for me to do anything with. Are you asking about Gorilla Grood? If so, that chapter is not going to be happening as it is a pretty big mismatch. I believe the preferred term for a fight like that is "curbstomp via mind-rape." Beast has no defense against someone like Grood. The only other evil monkey that I know of that resides in the DC Universe is that gorilla that keeps working as a lackey for the Living Brain. I don't remember its name, although I do remember that massive mini-gun it uses. That might be a more fight that I'd be willing to do, maybe.


	8. Attack on Titans

**Superhuman Fight Club**

**Heroes and villains from every dimension have one thing in common. They thoroughly enjoy beating each other up. Whether they protect the streets in shadows, stand tall as a symbol of heroism, thrive off of stealing from the less fortunate, or let out a maniacal laugh as they slaughter the innocents, all fight for what they believe in. But the question is, in a fight with no rules, who is left standing? We will take various versions of these characters from any and all realms of media to see if we can find an answer. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Hello, Heroman45 here welcoming you to the very first team battle! This fight will feature two teams that have been appeared across various cartoons over the last few years. This is going to be a longer breakdown than normal, and since the majority of Deadpool is currently spread out in the stomachs of about 100 squirrels, She-Hulk is going to be helping me out once again.

"Do I really need to be here? I'm still just waiting for you to give me my own fight, you promised me a good one when I took this job."

I'll get there eventually, it's just that I have a lot of ideas and I'm trying to keep them in order.

"So how exactly is this fight fitting into your little mixed universe anyways?"

What do you mean?

"3 of the characters have already featured in their own fights, it's not going to make sense if you just insert them into the same universe, you'd have to change one of their age and fix the other two's location and plot line."

Oh… forgot about that. Eh, I'll just stick them into a separate universe, comics do it all the time. How many times has DC rebooted now? I'll keep the majority of the fights in the main universe that the first 7 fights feature, but for certain chapters like this one I'll just stick them into version 2.

"Alright, sounds like a cop out but I guess it works. Who are we introducing first?"

Gotta start off with the original teenage superhero team, the Teen Titans!

"Sounds good. Now, since Heroman, Sturm and Drang, and I are all very lazy, we are not going to be reintroducing Cyborg and Beast Boy to you guys. You've probably all seen the show, and for those who haven't go read the earlier fights where we already gave a combat analysis of both of these guys."

So 2 down, 3 to go. Let's start off with the leader of the group, Robin the Boy Wonder. Dick Grayson is the original Robin. He is a good leader and he is almost as serious as his mentor. Which can be a hindrance; he tends to be dangerously obsessive and quick to anger when outmatched. Nonetheless he is very skilled, having been heavily trained by Batman himself to fight crime.

"There is one major problem for Robin on this team. He has no powers. At all."

So? You could say the same thing about Batman.

"Exactly, he's got lots of gear to fill the void of powers: bird-a-rangs, a motorcycle, a bo staff, a grappling hook, exploding dics, electric disks, freeze disks, the works. He's got an arsenal that's hard to beat, he's got Batman's funding after all."

Next up we have the alien warrior princess Starfire. Starfire is probably the second most powerful member of the Titans. She has a variety of powers driven by her emotions: she can fly by feeling joy, she has super strength through confidence, and she can throw blasts of energy from her hands through righteous fury called Starbolts. After she went through alien puberty she gained the ability to shoot powerful laser beams from her eyes, presumably from the felling that she really wants to laser somebody. While she is extremely naive, Starfire is very loyal to her friends and will do anything to protect them, especially Robin. She will deliberately put herself in harm's way to protect them, going as far as throwing herself in front of an incoming attack. Luckily, she has such a high durability level that she is able to withstand a far greater amount of damage her teammates, once again with the possible exception of Cyborg.

"You know, for being a trained warrior princess, her actual fighting abilities seem kind of mediocre, mostly just shooting starbolts at random and punching things."

Well I didn't the best fighter or the most powerful did I? However her massive strength and abilities are more than enough to take anyone by surprise.

Moving on, we have, without a doubt, the strongest member of the titans, the sorceress from Azarath, Raven. If you've seen this show, you know who Raven is. She is the daughter of the DC embodiment of the devil known as Trigon. Trigon gave her enough power to be able to tear a hole in between dimensions, in a plan to allow him to get into the human world. While she can cast all sorts of spells, her standard ability is telekinesis by means of her dark magic. Her powers also give her the ability to fly, summon force field, and teleport. Raven's powers are anchored to her emotions, when she suppresses all of her emotions she is at her base levels that are exhibited through most of the show. If her emotions get disturbed and war against each other, Raven's powers fluctuate to higher and lower levels, even reaching a point where she is left completely powerless. If her emotions reach perfect harmony then she is able to reach her full power. Her cloak turns white, and she is able to trade blows with even her father. While she will not be able to use that form in this fight, it is pretty cool. She deep fried the FREAKING DEVIL! With his own power, she deep fried him! However, despite this extreme power Raven is the most vulnerable member of Titans. Her dependence on powers make her the physically weakest member of the team, one powerful shot and she will go down. The question is, can the other team actually land that crucial blow?

"Seriously, why are we using these guys again? They are just embarrassing to Marvel as a whole."

I agree with you, Disney canceled the Spectacular Spider-Man cartoon, my favorite Spider-Man cartoon of all time, just for this inferior show. I will agree with the guy who requested it though, the power levels for this fight are pretty balanced and this has the potential to be a really good fight.

"First time I'm siding against Marvel in this story, I just don't like them."

Fair enough, but they are still fighting, and they have every chance to win. Coming from Marvel's animated cartoons is the Junior Avenger's from the show Ultimate Spider-Man.

"You know all that backstory we gave Peter for the last fight? This version of Spider-Man doesn't have that. He has weaker versions of his powers, a less effective Spider sense, and far worse jokes. They even gave that twerp the ability to break the fourth wall! That is my ability! Deadpool stole it from me, I don't need a half-baked version of that annoying Webhead doing the same thing now!"

Hey! Hey watch the flailing! I get you are pissed, but I don't need to take a shot from an angry Hulk right now!

"Rrrggh… I'll be back for the closing scene. I'm going to go punch something."

Geez, she is scary when she gets mad. Not only can she hulk-out but she also can also PMS. Even the true hulk wouldn't go anywhere near her then.

Since we are talking about ladies with scary rage issues, then I suppose the next character I should be introducing is Spidey's second in command, the White Tiger. Ava Ayala's powers come from the mystical White Tiger amulet that she inherited from her father when he was murdered. The amulet grants her enhanced strength, as well as cat like agility and senses. She is nearly as agile as her universe's version of Spider-Man, and actually seems to be more intelligent than him. She is the only one on the team who constantly uses her head, trying to plan out her actions rather than just running in head first. However, this does not stop her ego, Ava is extremely cocky, and is convinced of her superiority over her friends. As a result, she has a hard time handling being wrong and is slower to adapt to changes in a situation than her friends. In order to augment her abilities, White Tiger had S.H.I.E.L.D. develop electric claws to increase her damage output in hand to hand battles. Even with her additional weapons though, she pales in comparison to the best of the close combat fighters on the team.

Danny Rand was trained in K'un-L'un, the mystical city that was apparently the birthplace of Kung-Fu. While he is weaker than his comic version, this can mainly be attributed to being about a decade younger with far less combat experience. However, even this version was so skilled that he was able to beat up a dragon with nothing but his bare fists and the power of his chi. When the dragon fell, Danny was given the power of the immortal Iron Fist, a super powered chi ability that gives him enough strength to punch straight through solid steel. He is a brilliant martial arts expert, easily the best of this battle. His connection with his chi gives him superior physical stats to a regular human, as well as giving him the ability to sense other living being's energy.

Danny is joined in this show by the character who has been his partner in crime fighting for over 30 years' worth of stories. Luke Cage, also known as Power Man, is without question the strongest member of this team. He is strong enough to rip a steel safe door right out of a concrete wall and throw it across a hallway. He also is rocking completely indestructible skin, not even adamantium can cut him. He can take rockets directly to the chance and laugh it off with no major damage. He is likely going to be the biggest threat to the Titans, as he can likely take any one of them in a one on one situation as long as he can get close to them. The same cannot be said for the final member of this team.

Ah Sam, what can we say about you. You can fly really fast, absorb energy, and shoot off lasers. Being a member of the Nova Corps, Sam should really be the most powerful. The Nova Corps are considered to be on the same power level as the Green Lanterns of DC. Despite this, Sam seems to spend more time unconscious than any of his team mates. He doesn't know how to use his powers, he gets smacked around by people far weaker than him, and he is afraid of bunny rabbits. Honestly, Sam is only on this team to be the comic relief punching bag of the other four teens. In this show, he is comparable to a puppy with a rocket launcher. There is plenty of potential for destruction in that equation somewhere, but the poor little guy has no idea how to tap into it. He is actually a pretty cool character in the comics, and has some pretty neat tricks tucked into his helmet. It's a real shame they are all completely useless here.

Alright, there we go, all 10 of our combatants have been introduced. So now, it all comes down to this. Which team will prove to be the superior combatants (storyline, plot devices, and kiddie reboot notwithstanding)? Now, given She-Hulk's mood, I've decided to be nice and let the other coast suffer my attention this time. The battle will take place in Jump City, here we go!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The sun was just coming up over the horizon. Several days had passed since Trigon's defeat. Life at the Tower had mostly returned to normal. Now however, Raven had a greater sense of peace and trust between her and her friends. A great weight had been lifted off her back, they had managed to stick it to her father and cancel the apocalypse.

At the moment, Raven was deep in meditation on the roof. After her father had been banished from this realm, Raven had found that her powers were fluctuating between her normal levels and the levels she had used to beat up her dad. The energy surges forced her spend even more time each day meditating to stabilize her abilities and make sure that it was safe for her friends to be anywhere near her. It was worth it though, just a little bit longer and the fluctuations would subside. Then she would be free to enjoy the company of her friends as she saw. She didn't want to accidently throw one of them off the tower, if that happened she wanted it to be because she meant it to.

It was another hour before Raven felt sufficiently calmed; she hovered over to the stairs and made her way to the living room. She automatically blocked out Beast Boy and Cyborg's meat vs. tofu debate, and nodded a greeting to Starfire, who was chatting with Robin. Raven maneuvered around the squabbling boys and got herself a bowl of cereal. She had nearly finished the bowl off when her two friends finished their argument and noticed her presence.

"Hey Rae, you feeling better today?" Beast Boy had hopped over the table and landed next to the cloaked teen. Carefully hiding a small smile behind her clam poker face, she returned the greeting.

" It's Raven, and yes. I think my powers should calm down in the next day or two. For now, I recommend you keep at least twenty feet of space between us. I'd hate to 'accidently' throw you through a wall."

Beast Boy gulped, and grinned nervously. "Don't worry Rae, I have complete confidence in you." His words were somewhat undermined by the fact that he trying to slowly move far away from her.

The Tower's alarm blared out through the room, drawing everybody's attention to the massive plasma screen. The screen tuned in just in time to see Cinderblock throwing a police car through an office building in Jump City's downtown. They all glanced at each other before sharing a grin. The first villain since Trigon's defeat, yet another sign of the return to normalcy.

"TEEN TITANS, GO!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Spider-Man and his ultimate team of Young Avengers were flying one of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s jets back from a mission on an island just off Hawaii. Danny Reed was meditating in the co-pilots seat, trying to block out his bickering teammates. Spider-Man and Nova were snapping at each other over a jetpack that Fury had given Nova, even though he could fly under his own powers. White Tiger was yelling at both of them from the pilot seat, telling both to stop acting so immature. Power Man was trying and failing to end the argument and calm everyone down. Iron Fist chose to ignore all of the commotion around him and instead work on focusing his chi. He extended his reach all the way to the ground below them, trying to take in each individual life they passed.

Danny's eyes suddenly shot open. There was a massive spike of dark energy in the small city the jet was passing below them.

"Guys, we got a problem. Somebody is attacking downtown with huge amounts of dark magic. We need to get down there now!"

The other teens all paused from their "conversation" to turn and face Iron Fist. Entering his leadership mode, Spider-Man then looked over to the White Tiger.

"You heard the guy, we need to get down there now! Let's move team, we have some sort of evil wizard down there!"

Banking hard, White Tiger maneuvered the jet to land just a few blocks away from the conflict in the streets below them.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

With a massive final burst of power, Raven, Cyborg, and Starfire unleashed their respective energy attacks in a giant fused beam at Cinderblock. The villain stood still for an entire minute, smoke slowly rising from his body, before he face planted into the ground.

"Dudes, you totally cooked him! Look, he's so hot, the pavement is melting below him! How the heck are we supposed to get him out of there for the police?" Raven just looked at him for a moment before sighing in exasperation.

"Does the word telekinesis mean anything to you Beast Boy? Weight means nothing to me as long as my mind is focused enough." Raven's powers took that as a perfect moment to flare up, causing a minor explosion at the ground near the shape shifter's feet. With a shriek of fear, Beast Boy suddenly found himself perching on a lamppost nearly a block away…as a chicken.

Robin and Cyborg struggled to hold in their laughter while Raven blushed, embarrassed at how her powers still weren't completely under control. Starfire just looked at her friends quizzically, unsure of why the boys were laughing. Then looking past her friends, she noticed another teen in what appeared to be green pajamas sprinting towards their group.

"Friend Raven, are we laughing at that boy over there? That's not very nice as we do not know who he is." Raven turned around in time to see said boy leap into the air towards her, a glowing fist cocked back to strike. A hastily thrown up black shield was able to stop the attack, but the energy released from the blow shattered the wall of energy and threw Raven to the ground. The Titans quickly gathered around Raven in defensive positions while four more costumed teens joined the boy in the green and gold. Robin took a moment to analyze each member of the new group, judging by the easy way he had taken front and by his friend's glances towards him, the one in the red and blue was the leader.

"Who are you guys? Another group of HIVE trainees trying to prove yourself against us?" Robin pulled out his collapsible bo staff as he spoke, leveling it directly at the leaders chest. The teen looked at the weapon aimed at him curiously for a moment before he stepped forward.

"Well, I have absolutely who HIVE is, but I'm Spider-Man, this is my team, and we work for SHIELD. Fist here picked up a massive dark energy source and we came to shut it down before anyone got hurt." Robin's eyes narrowed when he heard that they worked for a government spy agency and were sent to "shut down" Raven. Faster than a bullet, he whipped out an explosive disk and hurled it at the group. Luke Cage merely reached out a hand and grabbed the disk, not even flinching when it exploded.

_Everything slowed down, coming to a stop leaving everything in black and white. The only person still in color was Spider-Man, who was in the process of breaking the fourth wall._

"You know, this is just typical Parker luck for you. Go to try and take down some dark sorceress and protect the people, and she suddenly has four more friends to back her up. Let's see… Spikey hair over there is scowling so much you'd think he'd pooped himself. I wonder who taught him that lovely facial expression. Then we have a flying red-headed mall rat, a giant walking toaster oven, and a green guy. Here's hoping that he doesn't get any stronger as he gets angrier."

Suddenly a woman appeared next to him. She had dark green hair, and green skin. "She-Hulk? How are you here, I'm doing my time-stopping, explain my feelings thing." The woman just looked at him, and then punched him, sending him flying back into his body.

"Stop breaking the fourth wall, and get back in the game!"

_As the world began to speed back up, both team leaders charged at each other, issuing a battle cry as they went._

"Alright team, let's do this!"

"Teen Titans, GO!"

Iron Fist easily dodge around the other Titan's, still focused on the massive dark energies that were rolling off of the small teenage girl in the cloak. His charge was interrupted as her eyes glowed and a trash can collided with his side. Raven took to the sky, joining Starfire in blasting Nova across the street with a giant energy surge. The space powered teen quickly rose from the ground, absorbing in all of the power that the girls had directed at him. He shot upwards like a rocket, slamming into Starfire and sending her flying away.

Cyborg had immediately gone after Cage, firing off his sonic cannon rapidly into the charging teen's chest. Luke shrugged off each and every blow, his invulnerable body allowing him to soak up the damage with ease. When he got in close, the two teens lock hands, trying to overpower each other and force the other to the ground. The robotic teen was startled to find that he was actually losing the test of strength, the yellow clad muscle man was actually overpowering him. Cage forced Cyborg to a knee and then released one of his hands, using it to deck the Titan's robotic half of his face.

After Cyborg stopped skidding, he picked up a nearby car and hurled it at Luke's head. Power Man caught the vehicle, only to be thrown backwards in an explosion when Cyborg shot the gas tank. The two glared at each other from across the road before Cyborg decided to break the silence.

"You know man, it just doesn't feel right fighting you. I feel we are going to be fulfilling some sort of stupid stereotype if we keep this up."

"Alright then, did you have some sort of alternative then? You want to surrender?" Cage gave Cyborg a cocky grin, one that matched the grin on Cyborg's face.

"Actually, I just figured this might work out better. STARFIRE, SWITCH!" A green and purple blur slammed into Cage, carrying him high into the sky before dropping him the street from more than 10 stories above the ground. Cyborg spun around to nail the incoming Nova with a cannon shot, dropping the bucket headed teen out of the sky and face first into a waiting metal fist.

"BOOYAH!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

White Tiger was on the hunt. The green kid smelled of all sorts of prey, and Ava was struggling to keep her wild instincts in check. Little by little, she was gradually losing herself to the hunter. Beast Boy on the other hand, was having the opposite problem.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! DUDES! SOMEBODY HELP ME OVER HERE!" Beast Boy was getting chased through the city as a gazelle, trying desperately to free from the crazy chick in white. Just one look at her made his animal-wired brain scream PREDATOR! RUN AWAY! Beast Boy was struggling to get his instincts back in control, unless he was able to snap out of it, he would have absolutely no chance of winning this fight. Losing this fight meant that these government guys might hurt Raven…

Hurt Raven…

They wanted to hurt Raven…

THE ALPHA DIDN'T LET PEOPLE HURT RAVEN!

White Tiger skidded to a stop just a few feet away from Beast Boy as he shifted form. While before her Tiger side was screaming prey, now it was confused. This monster was something the Tiger side had never seen before… it was then that Ava was able to regain full control over her body, snapping out of her feral state. She realized what the Tiger had sensed, something no tiger in the wild truly had to face. A higher predator on the food chain.

Beast Boy's inner Beast charged forward, moving at speeds that Ava was helpless to counter. A single blow from the beast sent her sprawling across the street, her entire body alight with pain. The beast was merciless, charging forward before the White Tiger was even able to return to her feet. He grabbed her by the leg and then spun around to slam her into the ground like a hammer. Ava's nerves were completely overloaded by the last blow and consciousness fled her body. The first member of Spidey's team was down and Beast Boy howled in victory. Once he had announced his win, he dashed back towards the rest of the battle without sparing a glance towards his fallen prey.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Robin was getting angrier and angrier by the second. No matter what move he used, what weapon he tried, or what taunt he threw, the spider themed hero was able to dodge and counter without a single speck of damage to his own being.

"I've been trained by the best of the best. I've fought Slade and lived to tell about it. I've taken down more superhumans than I bet you could name. I WILL BEAT YOU!" Robin lashed out with a vicious series of kicks and punches, his moves leaving the "incapacitate" range and entering the "permanently cripple" area. Spider-Man easily breezed to the side and webbed Robin's mouth shut.

"That's impressive and all, but I'm like 20 times faster and stronger than you are. I really am not seeing any problems on my end with this particular situation." Robin's face was scarlet rage, his body literally shaking in anger as he began throwing a barrage of his various weapons. Spider-Man jumped into the air and used his webs to maneuver himself around a series of explosions, razor sharp bird-a-rangs, electrical shocks, and icy blasts. When the barrage ended, Spider-Man landed on the wall to observe the leader of the Titans frantically checking all of his belt's compartments.

"Finally ran out of things to throw at me? I guess it's my turn then." Spider-Man used his webs to slingshot himself at Robin, smashing into him feet first. The strength difference between the two was far too vast, the young bird never had a chance. Robin was out cold the second his head hit the pavement.

"ROBIN!" Starfire was witness to the fall of his leader and crush, focusing all of her attention on her attention on him, willing him to get up. This distraction allowed Luke Cage's battered figure to climb out of the crater the Tameranian had been blasting him into repeatedly with her never ending energy attacks. With a roar, Luke Cage launched a giant pickup truck at the concerned girl, knocking her out of the air and into the ground. Before she had time to get back up, Cage was all over her, smashing his fist into her head. Starfire went flying through the side of a building with the enraged Power Man following quickly behind. Luckily the building had been evacuated due to superhero fighting in the area, so no civilians were in the way.

Starfire released a massive blast from her eyes, catapulting Cage back outside via another wall. He had managed to rise to his knees when the young girl barreled into him fists first, smashing him into yet another wall.

Luke grabbed the Tameranian as she prepared to punch him again, spinning around to smash her into the wall herself. Like Cyborg had before, Starfire found herself trying to overpower Luke with pure strength and was losing. Thinking quickly and thinking of kittens to make herself happy, she took to the sky, pulling Power Man up with her. With a mighty heave, Starfire threw Cage back into the ground and then rocketed towards him, both fists glowing with power. She was a less than a second from landing her attack when a manhole cover smashed into her side like a massive Frisbee. Starfire crashed to the ground, turning quickly to see Spider-Man swinging towards her. She prepared to launch another barrage of starbolts towards the man that had hurt her Robin, but before she could fire the snarling form of the Beast collided with the spider in midair, causing both to go flying into a side street. Starfire rose to her feet with the intention of pursuing only to find herself once again face to face with her indestructible opponent.

Luke was hurting. Despite being invulnerable and super strong, he could still feel pain, and he could still become fatigued. He was approaching his limit very quickly, and it appeared that his opponent was in the same situation. Starfire was standing on shaky legs, her body wearing out faster than usual from fighting an opponent who was capable of matching her strength. Luke rushed forward, intent on taking Starfire down with a football style tackle to pin her and finish her off. Seeing him coming, Starfire brought forth the remains of her power in the form of a massively overcharge starbolt. The massive bolt slammed into Cage a mere yard away from the young Tamaranian, the resulting explosion sending both flying backwards in a cloud of dust and debris. When the smoke cleared, both teens were revealed to be out cold lying on either side of a massive crater in the road. Neither would be able to participate in the remaining fight.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Nova was having a really bad day. The lousy walking toaster was using sonic attacks, meaning that Nova was unable to absorb the energy to power himself up. He lacked the juice for his own energy attacks to do any real damage, if stayed in the air he would get taken down by the cannon, and if he got close then the robots massive strength would take him out almost instantly

"Aw forget it! I'm a living rocket, let's see you stop this!" Nova set his body ablaze with power as he flew straight at Cyborg, intent on taking down the metal man in a single attack. Cyborg waited until the last second, and then leaned to the side, causing Nova to rocket past him, Nova franticly backpedaled to cancel his momentum in order to avoid face planting into the pavement. Before he could move, Cyborg's rocket fist smashed into Nova, pinning him to the side of one of the buildings that Cinderblock had rampaged through. Cyborg fired out his power cables so they connected with a nearby city power conduit. Absorbing the energy of the city, Cyborg turned his remaining arm into a giant cannon.

"Booyah." Nova saw a bright flash of blue light fire from the cannon before it crashed into him. Then he saw nothing but blackness.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Spider-Man's spider sense went off just in time to tell him he was about to be in pain, as the snarly green wolf-monkey thing slammed into him.

_Once more, Spider-Man paused the story in order to talk through the fourth wall._

"Jeez, thanks spider sense, I sure do appreciate that whole early warning system thing. Now I'm going to have to get my rabies shot updated AGAIN. I thought that Doc Conner's and Kraven would be enough, but apparently not. Anyways I…

Peter was cut off by a shadow looming over him. Looking up he saw that once again, She-Hulk was there, she was also cracking her knuckles.

"I'll just get back to the fight, shall I?"

_Spider-Man immediately returned to his body. Leaving behind the woman who just smirked and nodded in satisfaction._

Spider-Man was forced on the defensive as he scrambled to dodge the snapping jaw and massive claws of the Beast. Despite his efforts, a small red gashed appeared on his chest as the claws tore through the chest of his uniform. Spider-Man ducked underneath one of the beast's wide swings and landed a super powered punch straight into the creature's stomach. The creature staggered backwards, making gagging sounds as it tried to keep from losing his breakfast. Spider-Man followed up with an overhead strike to Beast Boy's furry head, smashing him into the ground. The shock of the blow snapped the green Titan out of his Beast form, leaving him facing an annoyed looking Spider-Man as a defenseless human.

He quickly shifted into an ape and went in for another attack. Spider-Man caught the blow and threw Beast Boy away. Before he had even landed, Beast Boy shifted again to take the form of a rhino. His charge was easily dodged and Spider-Man countered with a snap kick to the African animal's side, sending it stumbling to the ground. The next form was tiger, which was defeated by the spider just as easily as the Beast had taken out White Tiger. Getting desperate, Beast Boy decided it was time to call on one of the most dangerous animals in his repertoire. The T-Rex stood tall and released a might roar that shook the very buildings themselves. The king of the dinosaurs had taken center stage. Spider-Man stared up at the massive beast and only one think came to his mind to say.

"That famous Parker luck strikes again."

As Beast Boy charged, Spider-man leapt into the air, landing on top of the dinosaur's head and sliding down his back.

"Yabba Dabba Doo!" he yelled, as he slid down the tail, only for it to flick upward at the end, sending him into the air. As his spider sense went off, he turned in the air, only to be slammed by the giant reptiles head. As he went flying into a wall, he shot off a web, tying the lizard's mouth shut. Beast Boy desperately tried to get it off, but the webbing was just too sticky.

Getting off the ground where he had fallen. Spider-man grinned at the sight of a T-Rex trying to scrape its mouth across the ground. "HA, not so tough now are you lizard boy?" said lizard froze, turning its head towards him. Suddenly it vanished, the webbing falling to the ground as a humming bird flew out.

And then the T-Rex was back.

"Oh"

The lizard king lowered his head and charged once more. Spider-man decided to try and end it in one blow. Jumping into the air and using his webs to build up momentum, he launched himself right at the lizard. Putting all his strength in one wild swing he punched the T-Rex right in the middle of its head.

Both of them staggered back. Beast Boy, reverting to his human form, stumbled a little and then fell down. Spider-man stood over the teen and grinned. He started to laugh, but stopped. He suddenly remembered reading somewhere that the T-Rex has a skull harder than diamond. And he'd just punched one…while it was charging…he looked down at his arm.

"That's…not supposed to bend like that." And then the adrenaline wore off. Clutching his arm, he collapsed and started rolling on the ground until he passed out.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Iron Fist had recovered quickly from the trash can and had continued onwards toward his target. The mystical energy that gave him strength was driving him onwards, as if the energy itself wanted to stamp out this spot of dark power. Raven used her powers to take to the sky, hoping that the distance would give her time to counter attack and use her apparent range advantage. Danny took off, running straight up the side of a building until he was able to draw level with the surprised sorceress. He pushed off the wall to throw another one of his iron fist strikes towards Raven, and was once again countered by a black shield. This time though, Danny was able to throw his fist through the shield, allowing him to latch onto it and then propel himself forwards straight at the cloaked Titan. This time Raven lacked the time to throw up a shield and instead forced her energy out of her in a massive bubble. The Iron Fist collided with the bubble, creating an explosion that sent both teens towards the ground. Iron Fist spun in midair to land on his feet in a fighting stance while Raven caught herself with her powers and lowered herself to hover a foot off the ground. As Iron Fist prepared to charge forward once again, Raven's entire body light itself up with power. All sorts of cars, trash cans, light posts, and other objects from around the street came flying towards Danny, forcing him to use every bit of his skill to dodge or destroy every single object. The barrage continued for more than three minutes before Raven was able to connect, sideswiping Fist with an ice cream truck and sending him to the ground. Before he could rise, the lamp posts bent themselves around his body, trapping his arms to his sides and his legs tightly together. Thinking him secure, Raven decided that it might be a good moment to interrogate her prisoner and try to find out exactly who they thought she was and why they were after her. She was unprepared for Iron fist to use his chi to shatter his restraints and smash his foot directly into her stomach. Raven stumbled backwards with both arms clutching her gut as she coughed. Iron Fist's advance was halted as the Titan through up a reflexively made force field. Then dark tendrils of energy emerged from the shield and began slicing through the air towards the mystical martial artist. The iron fist's power allow Danny to chop through the hastily made counter attack before he was overwhelm, however he was forced backwards away from Raven, giving her more room to work with and recover. Raven combined the dark energy attacks with even more debris from the street, hoping to overwhelm the fighter with sheer numbers before her powers gave out on her from exhaustion.

Iron Fist used his years of training to duck and dodge around the flying obstacles towards the sorceress, sometimes even catapulting himself off the debris in order to further close the distance. With a mighty yell, Danny reached his target and delivered his glowing fist straight into Raven's glowing body. The dark and light energies collided, making a massive shockwave that sent both teens hurling backwards. Iron Fist caught himself in a series of backflips, regain control of his momentum and using it to extend the distance away from his opponent. If their powers canceled each other out, he would need another strategy to defeat her. He sent a small flare of his chi throughout his body to attempt to relieve some of the damage he had taken, but found that he still lacked the control to truly dull the pain. Once the chi had sorted itself out within him, Danny looked up to stare down his opponent thirty feet away.

Raven's power was starting to wane. Between their random fluctuations, the fight with Cinderblock, and now facing this magic powered fighter, her endurance was being seriously tested. While her powers still had more than enough charge left to last for the remainder of the battle, her body was another matter. Her body felt like a giant nerve, her entire body ringing in pain from the latest collision of power. She wouldn't be able to take another hit from that glowing fist, she needed to make sure he couldn't get close again.

Iron Fist watch apprehensively as his opponent cloaked himself in what appeared to be a massive black bird created from her powers. A dozen black tendrils detached themselves from the bird to attack at the martial artist, once again forcing him to use his fist to slice through the attack. This time though, every time he landed a blow to the tendrils, they separated and branched off, creating more and more for him to deal with. It became clear to Danny that his only chance of coming out of this battle as the victor was to take down the bird. Danny put every bit of chi that he could into his fists and forged a path through the tendrils. Unable to stop them all, Danny took several gashes along his body as he tried to reach his goal, however he refused to allow himself to be stopped from completing his mission. He got three quarters of the way there before the bird moved.

Raven had enough, she was not going to let this guy take her out. She had worked for to hard bringing down her father and washing her hands of his darkness to just be taken down by a group of underage government stooges. When the boy was close, Raven released her soul into the bird as pure energy and sent it charging towards him. The boy's fist flared to its brightest yet, and he swung it forward to meet her weaponized soul head on. The resulting explosion let lose gigantic waves of dark and light energy, shattering every single window in a five block radius. Several buildings just collapsed as the opposing magical powers ate through their support. If the area hadn't already been evacuated from the incident with Cinderblock then the causalities would undoubtedly have been in the hundreds.

Raven struggled to her feet from behind what remain of the shield she had created to protect herself from the blast. She had expended nearly every drop of power she had available to her in the combination soul attack and shield. Surveying the area, Raven spotted Iron Fist lying unconscious beneath a pile of debris from one of the collapsed buildings. She let out a sigh of relief as she realized that she had managed to win her battle. Now she just needed to wait for the other Titans to finish off his friends and they would have won.

The sound of footsteps approaching drew her attention, and Raven turned to see what Cyborg limping towards her. He looked grey, his glowing bits too low on energy to give him his normal blue shine. He grinned at her.

"There you are Raven, I see you just finished up."

"Where are they others?"

"Here and there, we've won, but the cleanup is gonna be a pain." He gave her a thumbs up and grinned. She grinned back.

Spider-man's team had made very effective individuals, but in the end, they were a team of friends. But the titans, they were a family.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

So there it is folks, the Titans superior firepower and teamwork allowed them to pull out the win with a score of 2-0 remaining fighters.

"Thank god those guys lost, I honestly don't know what I would do if they had managed to win that."

Oh, hey She-Hulk you came back just in time!

"In time? In time for what? I told you I would be back for the closing comments didn't I?"

Yes, but I wasn't sure if you'd be here in time for your surprise!

"Surprise?"

Yeah! Teleporter go!

"Wait wh-"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Abandon warehouse NYC.**

Ultimate Spider-Man had no idea where he was. One minute he was swinging through the city, the next Deadpool was ambushing him, knocking him out, and going on about "author powers" and "bonus rounds".

CCRRRRAACCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

Spidey jumped back when a sudden flash of blue light lite up the middle of the windowless, door-less room. He was surprised to see the green form of She-Hulk standing in the middle of the room, however she didn't look like the She-Hulk he knew. The green women looked around the room before her eyes fell on him. Then what can only be described as a predatory grin split across her face, leaving Spidey with shivers down his back.

"So you think you can steal my thing by breaking the fourth wall do you?"

"Ummmmm… it was the authors fault?"

"Was it? Okay then. If that's the way it is, then so is what I'm about to do to you!"

Spider-Man backed up nervously as She-Hulk approached him while cracking her knuckles. It was a pretty small room, without a clear way of escape it would only be a little while before she managed to catch him.

"Can't we talk about this?

"NO."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Miles away Deadpool, Sturm and Drang, and Heroman observed the battle on a large screen plasma TV. The sound of screams was audible through the speakers, as well as the occasional crack of a shattered bone. The three men just chuckled as they watched the show.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

AN: IMPORTANT NOTICE! I've had an idea bouncing around in my head for quite a while about a special 3 part event for this story, what will probably equate to a season 1 finale. I've decided that I shall be putting up 3 more fights after this one before the season finale, not including the ones Sturm and Drang writes. I've had lots of good ideas and requests, and now I can't decide what 3 I want to do. As a result, there is now a poll on my profile for which fights will be made. I shall give the poll a week or two to get some votes in and go from there. There will be ZERO hints as to what the season finale will be, not even my ever helpful beta has any ideas as to what I'm cooking up right now. So please place your votes as to which fight you want so I can get to work on those special chapters! If I don't get any votes then I'm just going to pick whichever one I want. All complaints past that point will be ignored and laughed at.

Once again, thank you to Sturm and Drang for being my beta and for helping plan out how this fight would take place. Thanks to everyone for reading, please leave a review to let me know how you think the story is going. Reviews make me feel good, GIVE THEM TO ME! ey Hey


	9. Laugh it up

Chapter 9: laugh it up

**Heroes and villains from every dimension have one thing in common. They thoroughly enjoy beating each other up. Whether they protect the streets in shadows, stand tall as a symbol of heroism, thrive off of stealing from the less fortunate, or let out a maniacal laugh as they slaughter the innocents, all fight for what they believe in. But the question is, in a fight with no rules, who is left standing? We will take various versions of these characters from any and all realms of media to see if we can find an answer. **

**Disclaimer: I only own this plot.**

S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D

Hello everybody! Guess what time it is! It's time for another chapter from Sturm and Drang. Heroman is not with us today, neither is She-Hulk. Instead my esteemed co-host is none other than …Deadpool.

"Magack. And the rodents of hell shall consume thy ice cream."

Sorry folks, he's been out of it since the incident with Squirrel Girl. Here let me plug in his voices… where did the cord go? Ah. here we are.

"_Hehe! That tickles!"_

"**Yes, hello once again oh select few readers who read this story."**

Right, now that my co-host is sorta ready to properly co-host, let's get this introduction under way. You probably haven't noticed but I do my introductions a little differently, for example I didn't tell you who one of the fighters was in my last chapter. This time I'm just not gonna tell you who either of them are, it's to be a surprise.

"**Wait, so you're doing this introduction to specifically tell the readers that you aren't going to tell them anything?"**

Pretty much.

"_That's both stupid and annoying."_

Heroman tells me things like that often, I can't imagine why.

"_You should at least tell them something about what's happening. I mean come on, it's like giving someone a gun with no bullets!"_

That metaphor doesn't really work.

"**That actually wasn't a metaphor, it was simile. You can tell be use of the word: 'like' or 'as'."**

"_AHH! English lessons! Kill it lots!"_

Okay, enough banter! You readers don't care about that, all you readers care about is the pointless violence between pieces of other people's imagination. But first, Plot!

P.S. I pretty much guarantee you will know both of the characters that are going to face off, and I will give a breakdown of the fight after.

S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D

**1 month ago, at an undisclosed location:**

"Heed me, my daughter." Said Ra's Al Gul. "While I am away undermining the power of Europe, I need you to protect the Lazarus Pit." His daughter, Talia, nodded solemnly.

"You have my word father, no one shall use the pit to restore life except for you." Al Gul nodded and left, leaving his daughter all alone in the chamber.

Talia turned to look upon the fabled pit. It was a large pool, filled with a bubbling green liquid that lit the chamber with a phosphorescent glow. Just being in the same room always gave her a thrill. The amazing properties of the pit, the ability to restore life to those who were dead, keeping even the ravages of time itself at bay, none could deny that they were anything short of a miracle. Though such power often drove the recipients to madness, her father was the only person who could use the pits and truly retain his sanity. Not even the reaper's scythe could break her father. And she had been entrusted with its safety.

Although it was unlikely that any would come to attempt to use it, it was well hidden after all. Nonetheless she would remain vigilant, any who would try would meet their end on her sword.

**BOOM!**

Talia was swept off her feet by on of the chamber walls blowing up. When she regained her balance she saw that there were several people rushing into the chamber. Most of them looked like typical henchmen, combat boots, grey shirts, machine guns, most of them had their faces painted white, and their hair dyed green, like some kind of demented clown. One of them, stood out, he was a giant one armed man with a hammer strapped to his back; he was carrying a wooden box over his shoulder.

The one leading them, a blond haired woman in a red and black leather outfit, looked at the pit and smiled. "This is the place boys!" she drawled. "You know what to do." She looked up and saw Talia. "Get a move on boys, I'll deal with her." The woman hefted what looked like an oversized squeaky hammer and charged.

Talia snarled, "You wretched fools! How dare you defile this place!" whipping out her sword she dodge around the hammer blow, and sweeping the blonds legs out from under her. She attempted to finish off the harlequin, when one of the thugs opened fire on her. Talia dodged the bullets, drawing a throwing knife and sending it into the thugs arm.

Talia glanced at the henchmen and saw the one armed man had opened his box and was pulling out a shrouded body. "No!" she yelled, realizing their intent. She couldn't let this happen, Father had entrusted her with protecting the pit, she couldn't fail before he had even left. She lunged for the man, only to have the harlot bash her in the back of the head with the hammer. Talia's collapsed as her world went dark.

"Stupid girl, did you think you had a chance at stopping us?" the blond woman huffed, getting to her feet and giving the prone assassin an extra kick for good measure. "It's gonna take more than some brunet with a sword to stop me from getting' my puddin' back." She turned to the on armed man, hurry up Mistah Hammer, we don't have a lot of time until more of Gul's goons show up." The man nodded and finished lifting the corpse out of the box and gently lowered it into the bubbling pit. He shoved it into the center where it sank.

The group stared at the pit in silence.

"How long is it supposed to-HOLY SHIT!" one of the henchmen cut off with a curse. A man was rising out of the pit, flailing and screaming as though it was tormented by a flock of demons. The green chemicals obscured its features. It continued to scream and struggle as it lurched toward the edge of the pit.

"Mistah J!" the figure froze mid-flail, suddenly silent; he slowly turned his face toward the woman.

"…Harley?" he asked, seeming unsure of himself.

The woman, Harley, nodded beaming at the goo-covered figure. "That's right mistah J, it's me…how are you feeling?"

The figure suddenly straightened up and spoke in a calm level voice. "Actually Harley. I feel great! Where are we?"

"Well Puddin', you got killed by that skull guy, and I was all upset, but then I remembered what we learned about this lazerass pit thing that could bring people back to life. I knew I had ta bring you back, I just had ta. And now you're all better!"

"Halt!"

Several armed men stormed into the room. "You have violated the sanctum of Lord Al Gul! Prepare to die." The revived man casually grabbed a gun from one of his men and gunned down the guards, not even bothering to look.

"That was rude, they didn't even knock before barging in." The man sniffed. "Come on Harley, we've got work to do, the world's gotta know the Joker's back in town! Hehehe, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!" cackling madly the joker danced towards the hole in the wall, throwing goo all over the place.

S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D

**2 weeks ago, Wayne manor:**

A ghostly pale man stood staring at Wayne manor, staying out of sight at the mansions perimeter. A large hat and trench coat hid his appearance. Nodding to himself, the figure turned and looked out over the city.

"Hahahahaha….."

The man began to walk away towards a nondescript van. He got in the front seat and sighed to himself. The woman sitting in the driver's seat looked at him in worry. "Are you all right Puddin'?" she asked, concern evident in her voice.

He sighed again. "I don't know Harley…"

Harley reached over and placed a hand on his arm. "Do you want to hit up that mansion, this Bruce guy has a ton of money, we could have lots of fun if we took it, give lots of people smiles."

The Joker nodded. "Yes, we could and I want to…but something's wrong, I know how it would go. We would break in, steal his money, tie up anyone we find, rig every toilet to explode when it flushes… and then… then Batsy would come… we would fight…. he'd try and take me down, I'd try to break him. It would be a great old game, great… but old. Predictable. The variables change, but the game remains the same." He sighed again, leaning back his chair and putting a melodramatic arm over his eyes. "Don't get me wrong, I will break the bat. That's what I'm determined to do. But, it just feels so tedious right now, I feel like there's something missing, some spark… or something." He sighed again.

"Well…" said Harley, "You work so hard Mistah J, maybe you need a vacation?"

The Joker froze, contemplating the idea. A vacation? Him? The crown prince of crime? If he took a vacation, who would make sure that everyone would smile? The idea was ridiculous, stupid, and utterly insane. And didn't that make the idea oh so much more appealing?

The Joker could feel a smile beginning to grow on his face. Yes, a vacation, that's the ticket. The dance between him and the Bat was getting stale. He needed new material. Journey the world, see the sights, fight some new superheroes, and maybe blow up an orphanage or two. He could just feel new fun ideas churning in his mind just thinking about it.

The Joker sat up. "You know what Harley me dear? That's a great idea. Let's take our show on the road! Batsy will be here when we get back. Hehehe, aha…he…ahah… AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Harley beamed, her smile lighting up her face. There was the Mistah J she knew and loved.

S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D

**Present time: Smileyberg*, Kansas,**

The Joker leaned back in his new convertible, the car dealer had been most agreeable after he'd been given a smile. It had been a great two weeks; he'd gone all over the place. Starting fires, stealing weapons, loitering, once he even took 11 items in the 10-items-or-less lane at the grocery store. Truly this vacation was exactly what he needed, although he hadn't got around to that orphanage, but oh well, all in good time.

He looked over at Harley, The blond was clearly enjoying herself; she'd stolen an orphaned bear cub from a zoo, claiming she was going to raise it to attack people. He approved, an attack bear sounded like a barrel of fun. She was currently cuddling the bear and feeding it some TITAN-lased salmon.

He giggled, what fun!

It was a refreshing change to get away with all of these things without the Bat breathing down his neck with his grumpy face. No matter where they went the law enforcement was terrible. They went running after just one of his gas bombs. They should really just leave the fighting to the weirdoes in spandex, they were much more effective.

Speaking of spandex weirdoes, that's the whole reason he'd come to Smileyberg…hehe… Smileyberg…. Harley had heard something about a famous 'hero of justice' was coming to visit the town. He didn't exactly know who they were, but with a description like that, they were practically begging for his professional help.

He was planning on picking a fight with this so-called hero, whoever they were, The joker hadn't sampled many of the superheroes outside of Gotham, and with the exception of that lady with the squirrels and her green sidekick, they'd all left him wanting: Aquaman? Deep fried. The Atom? Trapped in a steel Jar. The Wasp? RAID and a flyswatter.

There was only one way to really get the good measure of a hero: blow something up and see what happens. He looked at his watch, show time. Getting out of the car he started walking toward the town hall, puling out a remote with several big red button on it.

He started to giggle.

S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D

"Remind me again Natasha, why does SHIELD want to build a base in the middle of Kansas?"

"I'll be honest with you Steve, I have no idea. But we'd better do it anyway. You know how whiney Fury gets when he doesn't have his way."

Natasha Romanoff and Steve Rodgers, also known as the Black Widow and Captain America, were walking towards the town hall. She was not in a good mood. Fury was being ridiculous. If Fury wanted to build a SHIELD base in this town, which had never before seen any kind of supernatural or otherwise serious threats, that was fine. But why the hell did he deem it necessary to send Steve and her here too? It made no sense.

When she had questioned him, all he had said was that they had to be there with no other SHIELD operatives because there was something that needed to happen there, then mutter something about stupid plot devices.

"Natasha look there, there's something going on over at the town hall." She looked over to where her partner was pointing. At the top of the steps leading to the hall there was a man, he was dressed in a dark purple suit and makeup making him look like the single creepiest clown she had ever seen. A harlequin, who was cuddling a bear cub for some reason, accompanied him. As well as several other men dressed as clowns. The man was speaking into a megaphone.

"Citizens of Smileyberg! There is something important you have to know. I have come to this town and looked all around. And I am disappointed. Everywhere I look I see the most horrible frowns, or grimaces, or sneers. But almost no smiles." The man paused and shook his head sadly. "Being ground down by the humdrum activity of your daily routines, beaten down by the constant mind-numbing mantle of normality, this state of affairs cannot be allowed to continue. And so you can rejoice fair citizens! For I have come to brighten your day, and fill it with the brightest of lights and smiles!"

Steve leaned over and murmured "Nat, I don't like this, I'm getting a really bad feeling about this clown." She couldn't help but agree, his words were friendly enough, if creepy, but the way he was saying them, it was definitely setting her on edge.

"Let's get closer, just in case we need to put an end to this." The duo began to edge through the crowd as the weird clown continued speaking.

"And so everybody, bring your kids, bring your families and enjoy the show… and don't forget to smile. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!" The man reached into his pocket and pulled out a remote, cackling, he pressed a button.

The town hall exploded.

S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D

"HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!" This was it, the moments that he lived for, the screams of panic, the shouts of confusion; he could just taste the excitement in the air. Out of the corner of his eye, he glimpsed two figures that weren't panicking. Looking closer he say that they had uniforms, disappointingly neither of them spandex, and they were hurrying towards him.

Right on cue.

"Our guests are here boys! Go and say hello." As his henchmen charged, the joker turned on his heel and started moving away from the burning building.

"I'll take the clowns Steve, you get the freaky ringleader." One of them, a woman with fiery red hair, shouted. Freaky Ringleader? How rude! He made a mental note to give her a smile later.

The other one, a muscly guy in red, white, and blue not-spandex, nodded and started chasing him. Only to be intercepted by Mister Hammer's sledgehammer. The Joker stopped running and watched as not-spandex pulled a shield off of his back and held it up to intercept the sledgehammer. Rather than being sent reeling, not-spandex fully blocked it and shoved forward, bashing Mister Hammer in the face, sending the one armed man reeling.

Oh… apparently those muscles weren't just for show. The Joker hurried the rest of the way to his car, opening the trunk and reaching inside; he pulled out a rocket launcher and got into the drivers seat. He watched in interest as the duo expertly fought off his goons. The rude redhead flipped into the air, grabbing two henchmen's heads and slamming them together. She landed in a crouch and did a summersault, sweeping a third off his legs. She jabbed that one with her hand and he saw some sort of electric jolt into the goon, who went down like a brick.

Where do these heroes learn to do this anyway? Is there some kind of Goon-takedown class somewhere? Some sort of supervillian stooge smack down seminar?

Either way, his goons wouldn't last much longer, they never did. He looked back at not-spandex, who was still trading blows with Mister Hammer. Not-Spandex dodged another hammer blow, and swung his shield around, hitting his opponent in the solar plexus. Mister Hammer was down.

Good. Batman couldn't have done it any better himself. This walking American flag was defiantly worth his time. Bringing his rocket launcher up, he took aim at not-spandex. "Smile big boy!"

S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D

Keen instinct and a whistling noise, these were all that urged Steve to spin around and raise his shield, barely getting it up in time to intercept a rocket. The blast sent him staggering back a few feet.

He lowered his shield, only to see the madman speeding at him with his car. Dodging out of the way, he sent his shield off after the car. He managed to destroy one of the back tires, sending the car spinning out into a building. Catching the shield one-handed, the soldier sprinted after it. He saw the deranged clown getting out of the car and hurrying into an alley. Pulling back his arm to throw again, only to bring it back in as the man pulled out a gun and shot over his shoulder, nearly shooting the captain in his chest.

Steve glanced over at his partner, she was doing fine, all of the henchmen were down and she was grappling with the harlequin. Worries abated, he dashed into the alley. The clown had clambered up a fire escape and was just disappearing onto the roof.

"He's fast at running away, I'll give him that." Steve muttered. Easily following up the fire escape. He leapt up onto the roof, shield ready to intercept any attack, only to come to a pause when he saw what awaited him.

The man was standing in the middle of the roof, arms calmly behind his back, as though he didn't have a single of the care in the world.

"Hi."

Steve blinked. "Hello." he replied, cautious for any kind of attack. But the clown just looked him up and down, and then tilted his head to the side quizzically.

"So who are you supposed to be? Some kind of walking war propaganda poster?"

Steve narrowed his eye. "I'm Captain America."

"Soooo… that's a yes?"

"Who are you? And what do you want?"

"Ooooh! you're chatty. That's a nice change. You can call me the Joker, and all I want is to make people smile." He giggled.

The Joker! Steve had heard about him. Even if SHIELD hadn't sent him a file on this man, the national news always had some story about various madmen performing acts of terrorism. This man was always at the top of the lists. From what he had heard, the Red Skull could have taken notes on how to be a psychopath from this creepy clown. Shield had sent some agents to try and stop him once and for all, they'd been sent back in boxes.

Small ones.

And to top it off, Steve had never really liked clowns.

Either way, that Batman fellow SHIELD had tried to recruit clearly wasn't here to stop him. So it was up to Steve to put this madman away. "Surrender now!" he ordered. "It will be easier in the long run."

The Joker frowned, appearing to be thinking about it. "Yeeessss… It would be easier, wouldn't it? But the thing is… It just wouldn't be as much fun, now would it?" smiling the man pulled out a gun and started firing away. Rodgers lowered his shield and charged.

Bullets bounced off the shield and the captain slammed into the joker, sending the clown sprawling and the gun flying. The clown rolled to the side, dodging the shield that cracked the concrete beside him. He reached out and grabbed Roger's leg. An electric shock coursed through his body.

He captain staggered back as the clown got to his feet. Grinning, despite the blood dripping down his face, he turned his hand revealing a joy buzzer. Steve grimaced.

"Close, but not quite a smile."

"Be quiet terrorist."

"Oh come on. Don't be like that, I don't want people to be scared, just smiling."

"There were people in that building you blew up, do you think they are smiling now?"

"Well they're definitely not frowning, it's a start."

Shaking off the remaining pain, Steve readied himself. There would be no reasoning with this madman. He sent his shield spinning at the clown, taking him by surprise. The shield slammed into the joker's gut, driving the breath from his lungs and sending him reeling. Steve followed up with a kick that sent the clown to the ground once more. He stomped on the hand with the joy buzzer, crushing it.

Sure that it was almost over, Steve didn't notice the Joker grabbing at the flower pinned to his suit. A green liquid sprayed over the captain, immediately starting to burn. The captain staggered back again as the joker grabbed a crowbar from somewhere and lunged, bashing the captain in the face.

Steve blindly shoved the clown away and ripped of his mask, getting the acid away from his eyes. He saw his shield lying a few feet away, he dived for it; grabbing it and spinning he slammed the shield into the Jokers arm, which snapped.

The Joker went sprawling, clutching his arm as the captain leapt on top of him. Not wanting another nasty surprise, he took no chances, bashing the joker in the head to stun him, and pulling out a pair of handcuffs, he forced the Joker's arms behind his back and cuffed them.

"You lose, and it's over."

"Really? Hehehe… what about the orphanage?" the Joker replied. Somehow laughing despite all the pain he must be in.

"What orphanage?"

"The one the car crashed into. You might want to do something about it. I think it had a time bomb in it." The clown started to cackle madly.

Steve hesitated, very aware that this could be a trick. What sane man would put a time bomb in a car he was planning on driving? But… this man clearly wasn't sane. As much as the captain wanted to dismiss it as a lie, he knew he couldn't take that chance. Slugging the clown in the head one last time, hoping to incapacitate him, he hurried off.

S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D

Natasha had been fighting this weird harlequin lady for five whole minutes, and she was getting annoyed. This lady clearly wasn't a trained fighter, but she was incredibly nimble and slippery.

Plus she had a really big hammer, which was surprisingly effective at keeping Natasha at bay.

"You're gonna pay for tryin' to get in the way of my puddin'!"

And her voice was just the right pitch to make it incredibly obnoxious.

"Your Puddin'? You mean that creepy clown that the Captain is beating up right now?"

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!" hefting her hammer up above her head, she charged Natasha, who simply sidestepped and swept Harley's legs out from underneath her. As the harlequin fell Natasha jabbed her with her widows stinger, electrocuting her.

"I should have tried that five minutes ago." Natasha muttered as she looked around, trying to figure out where Steve was.

Then she felt something soft splatter the back of her head. She spun around but the harlequin was scrambling away from her. Clawing her fingers through her hair, she pulled out some kind of pink squishy stuff.

She stared questionably for a second.

"Salmon?"

The assassin was drawn out of her puzzlement by a growl. She spun around and suddenly understood. The bear cub from earlier had, for lack of a better word, hulked out. It had grown to twice the size and was bulging with muscles. It also looked very angry. Natasha looked at the bear, then at the salmon still in her hair.

"Ebat' kopat'**."

The bear charged forward, roaring. Natasha leaped out of the way; this thing had very big claws. She jumped onto it's back and started using her widow's sting on it's back. The electric shocks only seemed to make it angry. It started jumping and flailing, trying to dislodge her, then succeeding. As she hit the ground it got on top of her and roared in her face. She promptly sung it between the eyes.

Stunned, the bear collapsed on top of her.

"Chyort voz'mi***! Isn't this thing supposed to be a baby?" she swore, trying in vain to push it off her.

"Natasha! Come quickly!" Steve yelled, running up to her and lifting the bear off her with one hand. Hauling her to her feet he started dragging her towards a crashed car.

"Steve! What's the matter?"

"There's a bomb in this car, I don't know how to diffuse it!"

"Right." Natasha pulled away from the Captain and sprinted towards the car. The trunk was wrenched open and a timer was clearly visible. Ripping off the cover of the bomb, the assassin got to work. The bomb looked haphazard, like something an amateur would make, but Natasha didn't doubt for a second that it would work. She didn't have time to assume so. Grabbing several wires she started to disassemble the bomb.

The timer still had 37 seconds left by the time she finished. The duo sighed in relief.

"Hehehehehe! Got ya!" a robotic sounding recording cackled, a compartment on the bomb opened up and started spewing out a green gas.

"NO!" Steve yelled. Grabbing Natasha and hurling her out of the way, the gas immediately enveloped the soldier. Causing the soldier to gag.

"Steve!" Covering her face, she pulled the captain out of the already dissipating cloud. He started swaying and then collapsed.

"He…hehe…hehehehehehahehahahahahahaha." the soldier started giggling weakly a smile slowly stretching itself across his face.

Natasha reached up and turned on her com-link. "Come in SHIELD. This is agent Romanoff. I need a medical unit at my location immediately. The captain is down! I repeat, the captain is down!"

S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D

**One Day Later.**

Fighting his way back to consciousness, Steve groaned. Opening his eyes and looking around, but everything was too blurry to figure out his surroundings.

"Where am I?"

"You're in the med bay in SHIELD HQ." looking at the source of the voice he saw a big misshapen red blob.

"Natasha?"

"Yep, you've been out of it for about 20 hours, and should consider yourself lucky too."

"I don't feel lucky."

"You should, that gas the clown hit you with? Some of our eggheads analyzed it; it's some seriously nasty stuff, it would have killed me, it should have killed you, but your super soldier body managed to fight it off just long enough to get you some proper treatment."

Steve's vision slowly swum into focus, "you look terrible, Nat."

"Gee, just what every girl wants to hear."

"Sorry." Steve looked away and froze. "Nat."

"Yes?"

"There's a bear in here."

"Oh, that's just Sasha."

"Sasha?" he looked again, it was a strange bear, about the size of a great dane, the bear was lying down next to Natasha. It was bulging with muscles, a bit like Bruce when he got angry.

"Yeah, when we went to clean up the mess, she woke up. I thought she was about to attack me, but instead she just rolled over and begged me to scratch her belly. She's followed me around since then. I decided to keep her, Fury is not happy about it. But Tony approves although he wanted to call her Natasha Jr., so does Bruce, he says the other guy likes her. But Clint is mad because she chewed up his favorite bow."

"Okay." Steve shrugged, this was far from the weirdest thing that had ever happened around the avengers. "Wait! What about the Joker?"

Natasha sighed. "He got away, I was so focused on getting you to safety that by the time I remembered him, he was nowhere to be found. Fury focused some significant resources on tracking him down. But the clown has just disappeared off the grid."

Steve groaned. "We have to track him down!"

"And we will, but you need to stay in bed for a few more hours so the docs can check you out. I'll get started on that." She stood up, pausing only to hand Steve a red rubber ball. "Here, keep Sasha occupied until I get back." She left.

Steve blinked, looking from the ball to the bear, who was looking at the ball expectantly. He shrugged again, and threw the ball.

There'd be time to catch that clown later.

S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D S&amp;DS&amp;D

*I'm serious; apparently Smileyberg is an actual place. When I saw the name, I just had to use it.

** ebat' kopat': this means 'oh shit' in Russian (according to the internet) I figure Natasha would swear in russian.

*** Chyort voz'mi: 'damn it'

And there we Have it folks. The fight between the clown prince of crime, the Joker, and the legendary soldier, Captain America has drawn to a close.

_That joker guy was creepy. I don't like clowns._

**Yes, he certainty was insane, not the awesome kind of insane, like us, but the scary kind of insane.**

Yep, but I need you two to be quiet fir a minute while I give the breakdown of the fight:

The Joker: a madman and the archenemy of Batman himself. This Clown has had dozens of different depictions, from scary ones, to silly ones, to incredibly horrifying ones (i.e. the one from The Dark Knight). The one I tried to depict, was mostly from the animated movie, Batman: Under the Red Hood" A rather scary one that is the one who killed Robin.

He has no actual superpowers or training. But he has absolutely no morals, utter insanity, and a remarkable high pain tolerance. Seriously, in one of the batman movies, he had a bat-a-rang sticking out of his eye, and he still kept running around shooting people.

He also has used a variety of weapons, from lethal clown gag weapons to normal rocket launchers and guns. However his signature in, is his own unique gas, that kills people in under a minute, making them laugh and leaving them with a demented grin stretched on their face. I couldn't decide which ones to use, so I just stuck to ones from across all of his depictions, but Only If I know for a fact that he has used them. I made up none of the weapons here. He also was backed up by his female sidekick Harley Quinn, Mister Hammer: one of his head goons from the game Arkham City, and some other faceless goons that were superhero punching bags.

Captain America, Steve Rodgers, the famously wimpy kid from New York, who volunteered for service in the military and was put into a super soldier program. Making him grow muscles, superhuman capabilities, such as strength, sturdiness, and endurance. He was also given a shield. A really strong shield, that is indestructible and he throws like a discus, bouncing it off of things, taking out planes, and miraculously returning it to his hand. Essentially it is infused with as much physics-bending power that the comic book verse could shove into it. I downplayed the shield a little bit, because it's just a little bit OP, and I have author powers. His strength coupled with his military training, not to mention a moral code that could rival Batman's and you've got one hell of a superhero. Who isn't to ridiculously powerful…like Superman.

Also, his partner, Natasha Romanoff, also known as the Black Widow, a Russian assassin, Who was given an anti-aging serum and heavily trained to be an expert fighter. She's at least 80 years old and eventually joined SHIELD. She's got quite a lot of dirt on her record that she would like to see buried. Her signature weapon is the Sting of the Widow, which are these things that she wears on her wrists that she can use to electrocute people, and bears apparently. I wasn't planning on using her here. But she added herself, quite literally the moment I started writing Steve's part. Plus I saw Captain America: the Winter Soldier, with Heroman a few months back, so I thought Why not? They already work as an incredible duo. Most of what I knew and did with these two came from that movie.

As for how the fight went. One on one, Captain America would beat up the Joker, but he wouldn't have an easy time of it. The Joker has tons of experience fighting highly trained opponents (Batman), plus he is unpredictable and full of nasty surprises, he also wouldn't bet everything on a fistfight with the hero, hence the time bomb. Whereas, Captain America as a highly trained fighter is used to fighting highly trained or powerful opponents: from high powered Norse gods, to alien armies, to sharing a team with the hulk (a dangerous place if every I heard one). I don't think he would take a crazy guy dressed as a clown with a bomb too seriously at first. Oh, he would give his all to stop The Joker, but he wouldn't be prepared for the Jokers tricks and traps.

In this fight I would say either the Captain wins, or it was a draw because the Joker got away.

As for the other parts of the fight, the goons stood no chance, nor did Harley stand a chance against Natasha, but she managed to get away because of the bear, the bear hulked-out because of the TITAN serum, again something from Arkham city. The Bear was added because I can't help but stay away from comedy no matter what, I can't help it if I'm hilarious. But credit where it is due, the idea for Sasha was taken from another fic I read: A Clean Slate, by Ira-gula-superbia. An incredible fic with tons of superhero fights focused in the DC nation. (You should read it, if you are nerdy enough to read superhero fan fictions; I guarantee you will love it.)

But that's all folks, feel free to tell me what you thought of it. And also, next time around I'm sure that Deadpool will be recovered enough to take a more active role.


	10. The Super VS The Marvelous

**Superhuman Fight Club**

**Heroes and villains from every dimension have one thing in common. They thoroughly enjoy beating each other up. Whether they protect the streets in shadows, stand tall as a symbol of heroism, thrive off of stealing from the less fortunate, or let out a maniacal laugh as they slaughter the innocents, all fight for what they believe in. But the question is, in a fight with no rules, who is left standing? We will take various versions of these characters from any and all realms of media to see if we can find an answer. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Thanks to S&amp;D for doing his Beta job. **

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

IT'S HERE!

"Oh jeez, what did you do now?"

The poll results are in! We've got our next 3 fights!

"So? Why does that make you so happy? Doesn't that just mean more work for you?"

Two reasons. Number 1, Naruto VS Goku got no votes! I only put that one in the polls to annoy this pal of mine who keeps hassling me about how the demon fox frog sage demigod ninja can beat the super sayian effortlessly. You know who you are! Goku planet busts! He stomps on that stupid spazzy orange ninja!

"Yeah yeah, your friend is bugging you, like that's new. The other reason?"

CAT FIGHT!

"What!?"

Oh don't give me that look, this is the first fight featuring two super heroines facing off against each other, not including the team battles.

"I'm leaving early."

Sure, bye She-Hulk, see you next fight! Well then, now that she is gone… CAT FIGHT! Today's fight was suggested by patrickthenobleman, go read some of his stories, they are pretty fun. So now, the 1st place winner of the poll is Carol Danvers VS Kara Zor-El, Miss Marvel VS Supergirl!

Carol Danvers has background working for both the Air Force as well as the C.I.A. before an incident at Cape Canaveral resulted in her human D.N.A. fusing with Kree D.N.A., granting her the powers that allowed her to become Ms. Marvel. She has a very impressive array of powers that include super strength exceeding 100 tons, super speed, flight, energy absorption and projection, invulnerability enough to survive a nuke, a healing factor better than Wolverine, and a danger sense almost as good as Spider-Man's. She also has minor molecule manipulation, allowing her to change her outfit instantly, which is nice, because it is probably annoying to have to wear your outfit underneath your normal cloths, like Superman.

When the Skrull launched a worldwide attack during the Secret Invasion, Carol was the only hero remaining in New York at the time and single handedly took down the entire invasion force that had been sent to the city.

However, all of these powers are nowhere near Ms. Marvel's true strength. After being captured and experimented on by hostile aliens, Carol discovered that she was able to access the power of a white hole, a sort of reverse black hole, giving her godlike powers. Her skin took on a red hue and her hair was overloaded with energy, giving it the appearance of being constantly on fire. She gained the ability to fly through space under her own power and there were few fighters in the cosmos capable of defeating her. The Binary form gives her planet busting capabilities, as well as giving her the durability necessary to take a blow of that level and walk away. Unfortunately, Carol lost the ability to activate he Binary abilities at will, it requires a massive amount of power to jumpstart her body into that form.

Supergirl requires no such jumpstart. The most recent version of her featured in the New 52 has shown herself to be capable of going toe to toe with her cousin as well as taking down 4 different Worldkillers. This version is still relatively new and untrained as opposed to her Pre-52 counterpart but has displayed that she is similar in terms of powers, if not slightly weaker. Like all Kryptonians, Kara gets her powers from the yellow sun. These powers include extreme invulnerability, strength comparable to World Breaker Hulk, heat vision, arctic breath, and super speed. While she is in a planet's atmosphere her speed is limited to prevent collateral damage, staying at several times the speed of sound. However, when in space Kara is able to cut loose, moving at speeds exceeding light. Her other powers include X-ray, telescopic, and microscopic vision, as super senses. Unlike her cousin, Kara has difficulty holding back her powers, making her actually more dangers as a combatant when compared to Superman. Also, apparently the version we are using, the New 52 version, somehow managed to join the Red Lantern Corps. How, when, and why are all questions in my head about this, not really sure what that will do for this little battle.

So will Carol be able to hold her own against the physically superior Kryptonian? Will she be able to access her Binary abilities, and if she can, will Supergirl be able to handle the powers of a near god? Let's find out! Here we go!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The small ship left Krypton's atmosphere, the people inside oblivious, as they lounged in cryo sleep. They were also blissfully unaware as their home planet exploded behind, sending massive chunks of irradiated planet in every direction. Debris from the dying planet slammed into the ship, damaging the engine and life support systems. Though damaged by the cataclysmic event, the ship carried on, following the path that Jor-El's son had taken before.

It carried on this way for two decades. However the forces of kryptons destruction continued to take its toll. The ship was falling apart; pieces breaking off and the cryo pods failing. One by one, the Kryptonians died in their sleep, never even aware of their passing.

When it reached the watery ball of rock known to its inhabitants as planet earth, only a single pod remain intact. Entering the atmosphere, the pod broke away from the rest of the wreck. The pod continued downwards to the planet below, eventually crash landing in northern Canada. The impact flattened everything around it and left debris everywhere. Luckily for the pod's occupant, the craft suffered no damage at all, the alien technology designed to withstand anything short of a planet blowing up. Inside the craft, for the first time in more than twenty years, the young woman inside stirred.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Spider-Man glanced around at the collection of villains surrounding him. Mystique had apparently caught wind of his relationship with her mortal enemy and wanted to hurt her by taking out her far less powerful boyfriend. Yet another example of the Parker luck, not a single week could pass by without something going horribly wrong. His spider sense had failed him; warning him of danger from the group of thugs, but he hadn't realized that the "damsel in distress" was also part of the danger. Next thing he knew, the pretty and distressed looking damsel had turned into a distressing looking blue lady with guns. Oh and there were a bunch of other supervillians popping up everywhere.

Without a way to call for backup, he made a mental note to get a communicator to call the Fantastic Four or something, they'd eventually get him for good. His costume was already sporting an impressive display of bloody gashes, several of his ribs were either bruised or cracked, Rhino probably hit harder than an actual rhino, and one of his web shooters had been taken out, stupid Creed. However, bad as his injuries were, he had a much more pressing concern.

"Seriously guys, did you really need to pull this little stunt now? I missed my last date due to the fiasco with the Deadpool fanboy assassin, now thanks to you guys I'm so late to this one that Ms. M is more likely to kill me than you are. Honesty, she might be happy that you finished the job for her." The wisecrack brought a brief chuckle out of Rhino and Scorpion. The harsh glare that Mystique sent towards the duo quickly shut them up. Songbird rolled her eyes, however she refrained from making a move towards the web head. It was Victor Creed who attacked, snarling at the fact he was being made light of. The feral mutant rushed in at Spidey at full speed, moving so fast even Wolverine would struggle to keep up. Spider-sense blaring, Peter rolled sideways to avoid the incoming claws, firing off a webline into Creed's side as he passed by. Spinning to gain momentum, Spider-Man hurled the feral straight into Scorpion's chest, sending both villains sprawling.

"You know, how is it that of the four feral mutants who have tried to stab, impale or kill me, the only one that doesn't smell like wet dog all the time is the clone who grew up completely unaware of the concept of a shower? What's your excuse big guy, cause you're not doing yourselves any favors trying to bring in the ladies. I mean, isn't your favorite targets sense of smell his main way of tracking you? How do you ever manage to get the drop on his is beyond me."

One jolt from his spider sense allowed Peter to leap over a massive energy mace construct from Songbird. Taking advantage of his momentary distraction, Rhino charged forward, snagging Spider-Man's leg in mid-leap. Rhino pulled his opponent in close and smashed his massive fist into the hero's jaw. The momentum of the punch sent the Webhead directly into another of Songbird's constructs, this time smashing him into a brick wall of the building they were next to.

Spider-Man, deciding that he had overstayed his welcome, leapt into the air and swung deeper into the city, hoping to either lose his opponents, find an area that would give him an advantage, or figure out why the dozens of superheroes who all lived in New York seemed to be incapable of lending a helping hand. Mystique emptied both the clips of her pistols after him and then morphed into a large hawk to take pursuit. Songbird followed her into the air while Creed, Scorpion and Rhino charged after them from the ground. Despite his speed and superior knowledge of the city, it wasn't long before the five hunters managed to corner their prey once more.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Carol Danvers was pissed. After all of Peter's promises he had once again failed to show up for their diner reservations. She knew she should go easier on him since he was almost guaranteed to be out doing something heroic, but she was a superhero as well and SHE still made time to show up when she was supposed to! With a small huff of frustration, Carol stood up from her seat and prepared to make her exit. Maybe she would go find her boyfriend and introduce him to a handy invention known as a watch…and a fist.

The glass window directly in front of Carol suddenly exploded inwards as a tattered red and blue figure was sent sailing through it. Spider-Man stayed on the floor for a few moments. "Ugh… it's hard to swing with only one shooter." He muttered.

His pursuers strutted through the hole in the window after him. It was clear that their target was far too broken to put up any more of a fight. Mystique strolled up to the front of the group, slowly raising her pistol to finish the fight.

"You know Spidey, I think this time you might actually have an excuse worth hearing." Six pairs of eyes immediately turned towards Carol just in time to see her body begin to glow. When the golden aura faded, Carol appeared once more, this time clad in the black and yellow garb of Ms. Marvel.

"Now then Mystique, too scared to face me head on. Decided to try and kill another of my boyfriends instead huh? This time though, you couldn't even handle doing the job by yourself, you had to get yourself all sorts of muscle. Pathetic."

Rhino, not being the sharpest horn in the herd, took offense at this casual dismissal and charged the blond with a roar.. Ms. Marvel casually floated into the air, snagging his horn as he passed. Smirking, Carol lifted Rhino's massive body into the air, using him as a bat to smash Scorpion and Songbird. All three went flying outside, crashing together in a massive pile with Rhino squashing his smaller allies. An overcharged photon blast sailed out the window after them, just to make sure they stayed there.

Creed let out a savage roar as he leapt at the floating women from behind. Carol moved just enough so that she was out of the way before she stuck out her arm causing him to slam face first into her elbow. He didn't get up.

The sound of a click turned Ms. Marvel's attention away from the downed feral. Mystique had grown an extra pair of arms. Three of her arms were being used to restrain Spider-Man; the other was being used to hold a gun up to his temple.

"If you make even the smallest move towards me, I'll paint the wall with lover-boy's brain." Mystique began to walk towards the door of the building, dragging her captive along with her. Carol seethed with rage, struggling to figure out a way to save Peter without him taking a bullet. Mystique was fast enough that she would be able to get the shot off, even if she tried to speed blitz the shape shifter. But if Carol did nothing then she would be leaving him in the hands of a cold blooded psychopath with a vendetta.

Peter was thinking along similar lines, and he had no intention of allowing Mystique to put Carol in that position. Carefully bending his wrist as far as he could, he took aim, he fired a web right at the gun, hoping to knock it away. Mystique was too busy focusing on Carol, so she was unprepared for the web. She also wasn't prepared for Peter to arch his back, bashing his skull into her face. The shape shifter fell backwards, clutching her face and Peter fell forward awkwardly. Carol quickly caught him and set him on the ground before turning to face the blue terrorist. Her eyes literally glowing in rage, Carol sent out another photon blast that blasted Mystique straight through the wall.

Rushing over to the downed superhero. "Are you okay Spidey?"

"You know," He slurred. "I've had my villains threaten my loved ones to hurt me before. First time I've had it the other way around."

"Yep, You're fine." Grinning, Ms. Marvel grabbed the injured hero and took off, flying across New York towards the Avenger's Manor to get the Webhead patched up. They still had a date, severe bodily injury was no excuse to cancel.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kara groggily opened her eyes, her vision still fuzzy from the cryo sleep. With shaky hands she reached up to pull the pod door's release lever. With a hiss the pod opened, exposing Kara to the sun's rays. With a hand up to shield her eyes, Kara stumbled out of the pod. As her vision cleared, the first thing that Kara noticed about her surrounds was a group of five aliens in black armor pointing some sort of weapon at her. Kara began slowly backing up, raising her hands in an attempt to appear non-hostile.

"Who are you? Where am?" The aliens looked at one another, apparently unable to understand Kryptonian. One of them raised a hand to their head and began to speak in a language she could not recognize.

"Fury, this is Coulson, a blonde teenager girl fresh out of that meteor we were tracking. Turns out it was some sort of spaceship, and from the look of her clothing I'd say she isn't from around here. Orders?" The man appeared to be talking to someone through a device in his ear, though she had no idea what was being said. She could only assume that whatever it was, it would be bad for her. She needed to get out of there, maybe find a way to get in contact with Krypton.

It was then that Kara took notice to a strange feeling building within her eyes. She started rubbing them, trying to relive the feeling. But the pressure jus kept building until a beam of red light shot from her eyes, blasting into one of the armored soldiers. The man flew backwards, slamming hard into a tree. Smoke rose away from his unconscious body from where the laser had hit him. The man that had been talking into the device froze for a second before he immediately started yelling into the mic.

"Agent Grant is down! I repeat, Agent Grant is down! I need Meta level reinforcements right now! Light her up!" All of the remaining agents opened fire, shooting hundreds of rounds at the blonde teen. She threw her hands up in front of her face in order to cover her eyes, barely feeling the attack.

Rather than hurting her, they made her angry.

Moving as fast as the bullets being fired at her, the girl launched herself at the soldiers, bashing into them and sending every one of them flying. A whine above her head alerted her to an approaching airship which began firing down at her with machine guns and missiles. Once again, while the weapons were able to hit, they were completely unable to injure the girl. Reacting completely on instinct, the girl jumped into the air and found herself flying on pace with the jet. Quickly shaking off her initial surprise, the girl sped up to slam herself into the jet. The piolet was barely able to eject before the plane spiraled into the ground. The second the plane was neutralized. Whoever these people were, they were gong to regret attacking her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Carol had flown back to her apartment with a promise to meet Peter at his apartment in half an hour so he had time to patch himself up. She used that time to retrieve her purse and decide what to wear back at her apartment. To her increasing annoyance, it was right as she had finished preparing herself that her Avengers ID card lit up. With a scowl on her face Carol snagged the card and answered the call.

"This had better be REALLY good Jess, I have a date in about 15 minutes."

"Carol I'm sending you some coordinates; we need you at them NOW. Some crazy blonde alien chick is tearing through SHIELD agents like butter. Clint, Natasha, and Steve went to try and back them up, she beat all three of them in one hit! She even knocked out Nat's new pet bear! She super-fast and strong, she is shooting lasers out of her eyes, and she took Cap out by literally blowing him away, with her breathe! He hasn't looked so bad since that Doomsday monster smashed us all up. We need you! Nobody else in range can handle this; Thor is off world, Sentry and Hyperion got dragged on some mission with the Fantastic Four in the Negative Zone, and the Hulk is hunting down Deadpool for trying to blow him up, they all completely ignored my call!"

"Shit… alright Jess I'm on my way, buy me whatever time you can, if she is really that powerful then we can't let her reach any heavily populated areas. I'll call Spider-Man on my way over, your coordinates are gradually getting closer to the city and it might be smart to start trying to evacuate some of the people there as a precaution."

"Alright, but hurry up Carol. I really don't feel safe trying to take her on by myself.

Surrounding herself in a golden aura once more, Ms. Marvel took off into the sky. Needless to say, Peter was not amused when he received her call.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kara had taken three blasts of greenish energy from the women in red and yellow before she managed to land a punch on her midsection. The woman collapsed coughing blood and grasping at her side. Kara stared at the woman for a moment, her anger fading as she had realized just how close she had come to killing her. It was then that Kara's eyes flashed with power once more, this time showing her the skeleton of the woman before her. The Kryptonian suppressed her surprise of this new ability when she saw that the woman had a rib piercing one of her lungs.

She…hadn't meant to do that. She didn't really want to kill anyone.

She stood over Spider-Woman analyzing the wound for a moment before reaching down and snapping the bone back into its proper place. Assuming she was able to get help now, the woman would live. Now she just had to go find-

"GET AWAY FROM HER!" Kara was suddenly slammed to the ground by a massive golden blast. She rolled to her feet only to take a punch to the jaw that sent her reeling. She wasn't able to recover before she got hit by a dozen more of those energy attacks, slamming her once more to the ground.

She rose to her feet to see an angry blonde woman in black and yellow standing over the crippled raven haired heroine. Several more of the black suited men ran up behind the pair and began to examine the downed woman. Looking at them all, she realized it had probably looked like she was hurting the woman.

Realizing how pointless this fight was, it would not help her get home, she put her hands in the air, Kara began to edge towards the assembled people once more, hoping to be able to end the encounter and get some help home. The second she took a step though, the blonde woman whipped her head away from her downed friend and launched herself at Kara once more.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Carol slammed into the alien who had nearly killed her best friend, revenge being the only thing in her mind. She fused her energy attacks with her fists to boost her striking power and started pounding into the Kryptonian with everything she had. Carol grabbed her and slammed her into the ground and then launched herself into the air. She fired a rain of blasts from above with every single drop of stored power she had. By the time she finished the barrage she found herself nearly spent, she would need to absorb some more energy to boost her strength as soon as she could. She looked down at the smoking crater where her opponent lay one more time before she flew over to check on Jess. Before she could reach Spider-woman, her seventh sense gave her a terrible feeling. Turning, she saw that the alien was standing in the crater completely unphased

Well not completely unphased, she looked really pissed off now.

The Kryptonian flew at her at speeds she couldn't even see and connected a punch to her chest. The punch created a shockwave, sending both Carol and everything around her flying. Carol had just landed, when the alien appeared above her, following up with a devastating drop kick. Carol was coughing up blood as Kara climbed off of her, rage still filling her face. Her eyes flashed red and she launched off a massive red energy blast.

The attack would have killed any other avenger short of the Hulk or Thor.. However, Carol was not like the other Avengers. Carol was able to absorb the energy. Her body surged with renewed strength. When the alien tried to follow up with another strike, she was met with an enormous wall of energy. Ms. Marvel followed up with a barrage of strikes, sending the Kryptonian back. What few parts of their surroundings that weren't destroyed quickly disappeared as the women traded blows. Neither was willing to give an inch, but one would have no choice.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Despite being caught off guard by the massive combo Ms. Marvel had launched at her after supposedly being beaten, Kara was still barely phased by any of the attacks hitting her. Her skin was like diamond, it was so hard that she wasn't even taking any real damage. Faster than her opponents seventh sense could detect, Kara reached out and snagged one of Carol's hands as it descended towards her face. Carol's eyes had a brief second to widen in surprise before they scrunched up in pain as her body register that the bones in her hand had been completely crushed. Kara had squeezed at a mere fraction of her power and had broken every single bone like they were made of Styrofoam. She was then hit with an Artic-like hurricane blast that covered her body and ice and sent her hurling away from her opponent. Kara then took to the sky and caught up to the Human-Kree hybrid and smashed her into the ground before she had a chance to recover from the attack.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

At the edge of his city, Spider-Man watched and listened as the carnage of the battle between his girlfriend and the alien invader drew closer. He had received a call from Carol before she had taken off to inform him to try and start evacuations and that was exactly what he was doing. He would have tried to call his superhero pals for help, but he still didn't have a communicator, and they were already helping to herd the frightened citizens away from the fight.

"Jess said this alien chick seemed to be freaking out the whole time, that doesn't sound like an alien invader…" Spider-Man quietly mused to himself. From the report he had received from a panicky and badly wounded Spider-Woman, it sounded more like the girl was having trouble communicating and controlling her powers.

"Light bulb!" Spider-Man swung down towards where he had seen his friend Daredevil attempting to herd scared civilians.

"Hey man, hold the fort over here for a bit, I have a crazy idea that might help us end this. Call me if the fight winds up in the city!" With that the Wall Crawler swung off, not even giving his leather clad ally a chance to respond.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Carol was hurt bad. If she didn't such a high durability level and her healing factor then she would have died over a dozen times in this fight. She hadn't even been able to land to a single decent blow since her brief power-up had run dry. Little by little the fight was getting closer to the city and Carol was quickly realizing there wasn't a single thing she could do about it. She just seemed to be showing new powers as the fight wore on. For some reason, this seemed to be freaking both of them out.

A bone shattering backhand slapped Carol out of her internal monologue as her body flew backwards and crashed into an already evacuated building on the outskirts of the city. She struggled back to her feet, taking in her surroundings through bleary eyes. The shape of the building and the hum in the air alerted her to the fact that she was most likely in a power plant. It was then, without any warning at all, that the building exploded.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kara watched the building go up in a massive blast from her heat vision. The area was surrounded in flames and giant sparks of electricity were flying in every single direction. Once more, Kara realized that she had gone too far and had likely killed somebody. This time though, she would not let herself be limited by her morals when it was clear that the people of this world wanted her dead. She let her rage of her situation consume her, she would shed no tears for any who attacked her and fell as a result. On this world Kara was incredibly powerful for some reason, and she planned on using those powers to ensure that she was able to continue on until she accomplished her goals.

Unknown to Kara, in deep space a small red object was reacting to her rage and taking off faster than light straight towards her.

A massive golden glow suddenly appeared in the middle of the burning power station, seeming to draw in all of the fire and the electricity surrounding. With a sharp bang, all of the energy collapsed in on itself to reveal a solitary figure standing in the middle of the ruined building. The power that had been within the plant had been completely drained, as well as all of the fire surrounding her. Her skin had changed from a tanned white to a fierce red, and her hair seemed to now be made up of pure energy. Ms. Marvel had been beaten and broken, she had absolutely no chance against the Kryptonian girl, even at her absolute maximum. Now though, Kara was not facing Ms. Marvel anymore. She was facing Binary.

"Round 2 bitch!" Kara was surprised by the transformation of her opponent and her sudden increase in speed, allowing Carol to fly full speed to crash into the Kryptonian girl and send her flying. For the first time since she had landed, Kara found herself actually hurt. She tried to launch another artic wind at the glowing woman but Carol flew straight through the attack as though it wasn't even there. She delivered another punch to Kara's jaw, and then took a shot to her own as the solar powered alien retaliated. Kara then took off even faster than she had been moving before, flying around Carol and knocking her back and forth in every direction faster than she could even comprehend. The enhanced abilities of her Binary mode were keeping her in the fight, but even with this new boost Carol still did not have the physical abilities necessary to win the fight.

Kara grabbed Binary from behind, launching into a corkscrew aimed straight at the ground. She smashed Binary head first into the ground at Mach 10 and then kicked her before she even had the opportunity to drag herself out of the ground. Binary flew out of what was left of their battlefield and crash landed through a small apartment building. The fight had finally arrived in New York City.

"Damn it all… she has to have some sort of weakness. Nobody can have that much power without some sort of negative side effect." Binary looked up at the Kryptonian girl who was slowly flying towards her prone body, apparently checking to see if the fight was over from a safe distance. Realizing she only had a few seconds, Carol stretched out her cosmic awareness, trying to get a sense of Kara's abilities and what was powering her. She was surprised to feel the sun's rays bending their trajectory straight into this girl. She was solar powered! The red and blue clad invader was getting dangerously close, Carol needed some room to be able to figure out a strategy. With an angry roar, Binary unleashed a massive photon blast that slammed into the Kryptonian and launched her through another building. She reappeared a second later by blasting a new hole through the building as she charged towards Binary, only to be slammed straight through the street and into the sewer by yet another energy blast. Kara dodged the third blast and got around behind Binary, smashing her to the ground with a speedy double handed blow. Binary struggled just in time to catch another blast of heat vision, once again absorbing its power into her own.

"Wait… she is absorbing the energy! That's why I haven't beaten her yet, she just keeps taking my power and turning it back on me!" Kara finally realized why her current opponent kept getting up to fight after every clash despite the massive differences in power. With a snarl, she launched herself down towards a now smirking Binary and punched her way straight through a proton blast that had been fired at her. Carol didn't even have time to be surprised before she was punched into the ground and then pinned underneath the raging Kryptonian. Kara grabbed Binary before she had a chance to flee and began punching her over and over. Each blow tunneled the pair a bit deeper beneath the Earth, and little by little Carol's healing factor was falling behind. Binary mode was considered to be godlike in power, but even it was not enough to overcome the difference between the two. However, Carol continued trying to hold on, sending out her cosmic awareness in every direction. She desperately scrambled to find something that could help her, something that could weaken her foe. Then she saw a flash of green and the pressure on her vanished.

Kara staggered backwards from the sudden and excruciating pain she was feeling. The glowing women had suddenly just turned her entire being green, and it was as if she was emitting poison into the air. Carol then launched a concentrated blast of the green energy straight into the Kryptonian's chest, sending her reeling. She couldn't even see straight the pain was so unbearable. Carol though was relieved to finally have found some sort of upper hand and was completely willing to push the advantage. The Kryptonian's strength and speed seemed to all but vanish before Binary's final push, both suddenly finding themselves at their absolute limit. Kara focused her remaining strength into her hand, causing it to vibrate at insane speeds while Carol created a massive green energy ball over her head. Kara launched herself forward with her charged fist out in front right as Carol threw the energy blast towards her opponent. The resulting explosion wiped out more than 5 city blocks, completely vaporizing everything in the blast zone. Everything outside of the blast remained untouched, the energy had been so concentrated that it hadn't even created a shockwave. Every single drop of power was swirling around the two women. Then in an instant, the power vanished, leaving nothing but a smoking crater behind. Inside the crater, two women lay face down, their costumes destroyed to the point of near indecency. One of the women grabbed her tattered cloths and hugged them around herself, coughing up blood as she slowly rose to her feet. The other continued to lay face down, her body occasionally twitching as green energy crackled across it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

THWIP! Spider-Man swung towards the sound of the blast, not even needing the call from Matt to tell him that the fight had entered the city. After what seemed like hours he arrived at the crater, the victorious woman turning her head upwards to see his approach.

"CAROL!" Spider-Man grabbed his crippled girlfriend, her body an absolute mess. He spared a quick glance over towards the unconscious alien girl to make sure she wasn't getting up before he turned to his girlfriend.

"She… she hit me so hard… she punched me right out of Binary form. I… I don't even have enough juice to fix my cloths…" Spider-Man glanced down at his girlfriend's state of undress, glad that the mask hid the growing blush on his face. He quickly used his webs to create a quick patch job for her outfit, allowing her to keep her modesty for the time being.

"Well, we've got an hour until that disintegrates and your cloths fall off, let's try to have you inside before that happens." Carol gave a weak chuck as Spider-Man prepared to aid her away from the ruins.

His spider sense barely gave him enough time to get them both out of the way of the incoming laser blast. He set Carol aside and turned to face the staggering, bleeding Kryptonian. He quickly raised his hand up to his mask to activate the device that he had stolen from Reed's lab. Carol watched in horror as her boyfriend approached the godlike alien girl, even in his present state she would likely be able to squash him like the bug he was named after.

Kara felt the power building within her eyes as she prepared to fire again. She was so close, she would not allow herself to lose now, not when her opponent was nearly beaten!

"STOP!" Kara jerked to a stop, surprised to be able to understand the man in the strange outfit.

"This device on my head translates languages by connecting both of our brainwaves. I can tell that you didn't come here looking for a fight. Who are you, and what do you want?" The Kryptonian girl stared at the man for a minute, considering her options. It looked like he wouldn't be as much of a threat if she needed to fight, and other girl was no longer in her glowing state, meaning she had likely run out of power. Seeing nothing to lose, she answered.

I am Kara Zor-El of Krypton. I crash landed here, and I'm trying to get home. I… I didn't mean to attack those men, I just suddenly have all these powers! Then they started attacking me and I just lost it, I've never been so angry before! Then that blonde over there, she wouldn't let up and… I almost killed her didn't I?"

"Yeah… listen it sounds like you've had a rough time and you've just been thrown into a bad situation all of a sudden with no out and no help. You've got more power than almost anybody I've ever met, and no idea how to use it. A very important man said to me that with great power comes great responsibility. That means that there is a lot of weight on your shoulders to try and do the right thing, maybe we can try and help you?"

As Kara prepared a response, a red flash lit up the area and a red ring descended to directly in front of Kara. She stared at it for a moment before suddenly being overwhelmed with a great desire to put it on. The ring slipped onto her finger easily and she suddenly found herself cloaked in a freshly repaired all red version of her outfit. The ring flared and Kara suddenly found herself overwhelmed with rage. She launched a bolt of red energy at the spider themed hero and then took off into the sky, following the directions that ring gave her. In less than an hour she had completely left the solar system. Left behind her were the very injured bodies of several superheroes to clean up the near destruction of the city they called their home. Two of those heroes were unable to take part however, instead they finally made up their missed date from the safety of their shared hospital room in the Avengers Mansion.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

CRASH! "AM I TOO LATE?!"

Deadpool? Shouldn't you be working with my beta?

"NEVER MIND THAT! I HEARD CAT FIGHT! WHERE IS THE CAT FIGHT!"

Umm… you just missed it

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I wanted to see some kittens fighting to the death!"

Actually it was two Superheroines, not actual cats.

"WHAT!? That makes it even worse! Who was it!"

It was Supergirl and Miss Marvel… But it's over, you can leave now.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Alright… I'm going to ignore you now… Anyway, in my opinion Supergirl is easily strong enough to smack around Ms. Marvel with only the slightest of difficulty, the power gap is massive. Binary mode is a different story, while Carol still lacks the physical stats, her cosmic awareness and energy manipulation abilities allow this to be a much closer fight. It could really go either way, with a slight edge towards Binary if she figures that she can manipulate red sun energy, and a massive one if she can manipulate kryptonite energy. I figured, the fight results were so close; I might as well make the results of the battle like that as well. Because being decisive is really scary and stuff

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!."

Look, you missed it, so get over it.

"I already did. I'm screaming because your end result was stupid."

Well that sucks because I like how it turned out. If you've got a problem, feel free to complain all you want, it's not changing.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Seriosl-

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

You-

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

GET OUT!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Don't you have anything better to do?

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Fine. Then I'm leaving.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

AN: Alright, that wraps up the first of the 3 poll results. What story is next, only I know, and possibly my Beta, but lets face it, he doesn't count. Please review, I'm honestly curious of what you guys thought of that more ambiguous ending. Until next time!


	11. Song of Swords

**Superhuman Fight Club**

**Heroes and villains from every dimension have one thing in common. They thoroughly enjoy beating each other up. Whether they protect the streets in shadows, stand tall as a symbol of heroism, thrive off of stealing from the less fortunate, or let out a maniacal laugh as they slaughter the innocents, all fight for what they believe in. But the question is, in a fight with no rules, who is left standing? We will take various versions of these characters from any and all realms of media to see if we can find an answer. **

**Disclaimer: **I own none of the characters in this story. And I know they wouldn't be as awesome if I did. However, I do own a duck tape vest, and a few lego swords, so I got that going for me.

**Chapter 11: A Song of Swords.**

Hello people, welcome back to once again. And it is time for another fight brought to you by Sturm and Drang.

"And Deadpool!"

Yes, yes, he's here too. He's finally recovered from what Squirrel Girl did to him.

"AAAAAHHHHHH!"

What's wrong?

"You said the name!"

Which name? Squirrel Girl?

…

Deadpool, get out from under the bed. She's not actually here.

"_That doesn't matter! Saying its name can summon it!"_

"**Sorry, what she did to us was so bad there are lingering issues. Just don't mention her name, squirrels, acorns, or hamsters and we'll be fine."**

…Okay…Deadpool? You don't need to worry, I put squirrel repellent all around the area; she's not going to come.

"…Really?"

Yes really. She's done with you and I think she has a date with Beast Boy. Now come on, I want a properly functioning co-host, and it's up to you to show She-Hulk how it's done. Okay?

"…Can I have a lollipop too?"

Yes

"…Can it be cherry flavored?"

Absolutely! Now why don't you come away from those dust bunnies and come out here?

"...Okay."

Great…now, moving on, we're doing something slightly different for this fight.

"Yeah, to start with, Sturmy is gonna actually tell you who the fighters are this time, instead of being stupid_."_

Well there is that, but the characters themselves actually do not come from DC or Marvel. They come from two separate mangas.

"Our first contender comes from the manga Fairy Tail. Her name is Erza Scarlet, otherwise known as the Titania, or the Queen of the Fairies."

She comes from the land of Fiore, a land of mages and magic. More specifically she comes from the magic guild Fairy Tail, the most powerful guild in the land that stands as a beacon of Friendship, Freedom, and Collateral Damage.

"Seriously, when the mages of Fairy Tail start duking it out, very little gets left standing. Erza along with her team once leveled a village when beating up a group of bandits."

"_I think I'm in love."_

Erza's magical ability is known as The Knight. She has a wide range of magical armors and weapons that she is able to store in a pocket dimension and equip at any time through a spell known as Ex-quiping, or requipping

"She's got all kinds of weapons: hundreds of magical swords, as well as lances, axes, and tons of other medieval ways to hurt people. She has also shown the ability to control weapons telekinetically, managing to launch up to two hundred swords at once through her magic, as well as weapons that allow her to attack with fire, lightning, water, and light. When she's through with you, you'll be cut up, crushed, pierced, soaked, burned, crying, electrocuted, and probably wetting yourself.

"_Do you think I could get her number?"_

"**I think she would cut us to pieces if we went anywhere near her."**

"_Worth it."_

But she doesn't stop at weapons, she had an arsenal of magical armors, which she can switch into at a moments notice. Her strongest is the Armadura Armor, which can leave a path of destruction in its wake.

"Her Flight Armor, despite it's name, actually dresses her like a cheetah, and gives her the ability to move at lightning speeds… MEEEEOOOOWWW!"

Her Giant's Armor boosts her physical strength.

"Whereas her Black Wing Armor makes her look like a demon and gives her the ability to fly."

She's been seen using at least a dozen other armors, But we won't mention them all here.

"She has so many ways to hurt people…sigh…she's like my dream girl."

Her variety of options allows her to be prepared for almost any kind of danger, and then ability to rip said danger to pieces.

"But her talents don't stop there, she has also shown a distinct gift for strategy. She is able to easily analyze her opponents weaknesses in the middle of a fight, and then use them to deliver a royal beat-down."

"**You know, I'm starting to think it would be worth it too."**

There have been times where her magic armor and weapons has been rendered useless, when this happens, she buckles down, takes up an ordinary sword, and gives out beat-downs through sheer skill alone. Putting all of these abilities together makes her the strongest female member of the Fairy Tail, and in the top three overall. She has defeated countless foes that nobody else stood a chance against. She is without a doubt the true queen of the fairies.

"_You can't tell, because I'm just a voice, but I am totally swooning."_

She is the queen, and she knows it. She is a strict person, demanding that her guild mates live to her high standards; there are few mages who don't fear her wrath. Nonetheless she loves all of her guild mates, and will put her life on the line for any of them.

"Man, whoever she is fighting is doomed."

Not necessarily, after all, we haven't introduced her opponent yet, and there wouldn't be much point writing a one-sided beat down. Her opponent is known as Roranoa Zoro, otherwise known as Demon Cutter Zoro.

"_Zolo?"_

No,ZORO.

"Oh! I know this guy! I know this guy! He's a total boss!"

Absolutely. Zoro come from the manga One Piece. A world of oceans and islands, pirates and dreams. Zoro is the swordsman and first mate of the Straw Hat Crew. Under the command of Monkey D. Luffy, the rubber man.

"**No really, he ate a cursed fruit that turned his body into rubber."**

"Enough about the monkey, we're talking about his first mate."

Right, Zoro is a swordsman who fights using his own technique called Santoryu, which means 'three sword style'.

"He fights with one sword in each hand and one in his mouth. Totally badass."

"_We tried that once, except with guns. It was awesome."_

"**We shot ourselves in the head by accident."**

"_Well obviously we haven't worked out all the kinks yet."_

Weird as it sounds, it is highly effective. It's part of his dream to become the world's greatest swordsman. When he's not napping, he's putting himself through grueling training to sharpen his skills and strengthen his body. His strength is immense.

"You want an idea of how physically strong this guy is? In one fight his enemy threw him into a stone building. So Zoro got up, picked up the building and threw it at him."

Zoro's strength is matched by his speed and his skill with a sword. He has developed techniques that let him cut through steel and anything else. He is a fierce fighter, able to give project such a strong feeling of killing intent that his opponents can feel it. It can cause those with weak willpower to panic, so sure that they are about to be cut into pieces that they become immobilized.

"_He also has green hair!"_

Well… yeah that too.

"**Why does he have green hair?"**

I'm not really sure, but I kinda like it. But moving on, he also has a ridiculous amount of pain tolerance and willpower. Able to keep fighting long after he should have reasonably lain down and died.

"He also has indestructible pants."

…This is also true, while his clothes rip and his body bleeds, his pants are nonetheless unharmed, but that's not actually important.

"Essentially, if you look in a dictionary under the word badass, you'll see a picture of Zoro, Provided you don't see a picture of Erza."

"_Unless, you see one of us!"_

"**No. our picture would be under awesome, or possible radical."**

"_Oh yeah…"_

Will Zoro's sheer strength overpower Erza's numerous armors? Or will Erza's versatility and talent be able to conquer the mountain that is Zoro? Either way, this fight is going to be nuts!

"NUTS! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

…aaaaannnnd he's under the bed again… great.

S&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;D

"ZORO! WAKE UP! THERE"S AN ISLAND AHEAD!"

Zoro opened a single eye and looked at his captain. Despite the fact that Luffy was screaming in his ear from two inches away, he hadn't yet made the decision to abandon his nap.

"GREAT YOU'RE AWAKE!" Luffy made the decision for him by grabbing his arm and dragging him across the deck. It didn't hurt, the grass on the Sunny's deck made it pretty confortable. The swordsman contemplated trying to go back to sleep. But then Luffy reach the stairs.

He didn't slow down.

Zoro got to his feet, grumbling and nursing several bumps on his head. The hyperactive rubberman had dragged him all the way up to the ship's figurehead.

"LOOK!" Luffy shouted. Following his outstretched hand, Zoro squinted against the morning glare and spotted a tiny silhouette against the horizon.

"Luffy!" Zoro snapped. "Why the hell did you wake me up for this? We probably won't reach that for at least a few hours."

"Because it's a mystery island." Luffy replied, shooting the swordsman a look that suggested he was being completely stupid.

"Why is it a mystery?"

"Because it's weird." Again with that look.

Zoro took a deep breath. "Okay. Why is it weird?"

"Because it's a fabulous machine." Suppressing the urge to stab his captain, Zoro turned and walked away. It was too late to get back to sleep, so he might as well get some answers. Not from Luffy, of course, someone who could actually communicate.

Wandering down to the ship's library, he found Robin sitting next to the aquarium, The giant tank had several sharks in it that were being chased around by an angry dolphin. As for the archeologist, she was reading and sipping some coffee, as usual.

"Oi! Robin!"

"Yes Mr. Swordsman?"

"What's got Luffy so excited?"

"I told the captain about some of the stories surrounding this island" the archeologist explained. "Apparently it is rather strange."

Zoro considered this; Robin was a calm person, not prone to getting worked up over weird situations. He also considered the fact that the pirate crew had been to an island in the sky, an island with living dinosaurs, and an island sized ship whose captain stole people's shadows to make zombies, all of which were kind of business as usual for the crew by now. But apparently this island was going to be weird.

"…Could you be a little more specific?"

"Yes, the island is called Fabula Machina. What makes it so strange is that it seems to act as a focal point between worlds."

Zoro blinked. "What?"

"It appears that the island is regularly visited by people from different worlds or dimensions."

"…What?"

"Yes it is a little strange. But there is evidence of many different civilizations on this island, more than actually exist in this world, and far too much evidence to be a complete hoax."

That…didn't really cut it, in his opinion. "So a bunch of weird objects in one place, means different worlds?" he asked skeptically.

"Well, it is a bit more complicated than that." Robin started leafing through the book in her hand "More than just artifacts, but actual people, telling many stories of many different worlds, again completely different from our own, they also tend to exhibit strange powers, very different from the devil fruits of the grand line."

That still sounded a bit sketchy to him, but if it was good enough to convince Robin, the evidence was probably much more convincing then it sounded.

Zoro shrugged. The shadow zombies were weirder anyway.

"Okay, I'll buy that, but what's got Luffy so excited?" Before Robin could answer, Luffy came shooting into the library.

"OTHER WORLDS! ZORO! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS!" Luffy yelled in his ear. The swordsman reached over, grabbed his mouth, and stretched it out while clamping it shut.

"No I don't, why don't you whisper it to us."

Luffy's reply was muffled, barely audible from underneath Zoro's hand. "It mean I get the chance to eat meat from another world!"

Yeah. He thought it would be something like that.

Letting go of Luffy's mouth Zoro turned back to Robin, intent on finding out exactly what kind of stories were found on this island.

"Come on Zoro, let's go watch the island!" Luffy grabbed his first mate and started running back up to deck. But Zoro was ready this time. Planting his feet and resisting his captains pull.

Luffy Ran out onto the deck, his arm stretching behind him. "OH COME ON ZORO!" he yelled. "GET OVER HERE!"

"NO!" The two began having a rather bizarre game of tug-of-war. Luffy stretched his arm farther and farther, looping it around the mast for leverage and then climbing up to the crows nest. "ZORO! AS YOUR CAPTAIN, I ORDER YOU TO COME HERE!'

Zoro was desperately straining against his captains grip, much to Robin's amusement. He was trying to pry the rubber man's fingers off his arm, when Luffy gave an enormous yank. Pulling the swordsman off his feet. Luffy's arm snapped back like the rubber band it was.

He didn't let go of Zoro.

Zoro's curses were muffled by the sound of him slamming into walls. He got pulled up the stairs, around the mast twice, and then up towards the crows nest.

It was around here that Luffy lost his grip.

Luffy gaped as the speck that was his first mate faded into the distance.

"ZORO! YOU BASTARD! YOU BETTER NOT BE TRYING TO EAT THE OTHER WORLD MEAT BEFORE ME!

Zoro sighed, passing by a very confused flock of seagulls and watching the water zoom by beneath him. There wasn't much else he could do except wonder how many times he could stab luffy before it became mutiny.

S&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;D

Erza sighed in contentment. The birds were chirping, the wind was blowing through her hair, and the waves were washing peacefully against the shore. This island was truly lovely, a perfect place for a vacation.

"Erza! Why the hell do we have to carry your stuff!" Natsu screamed from underneath a mountain of crates and suitcases.

"Quiet Natsu! Do you see Gray complaining?" she pointed at the ice mage, who wasn't visible underneath his own mountain of bags.

"I think that's cause he passed out" stated Happy, flying around the pile and failing to find any movement within.

"Yeah Natsu, we all have to our own burdens to carry." Said Lucy, the summoner was walking beside Erza, taking in all the sights.

"But Lucy, you put your bags on top of Natsu's pile when he wasn't looking." Lucy desperately shushed the flying cat, but Natsu was too busy arguing to notice.

"Come on Erza! Why are we here? I wanted to go on a mission, we could be beating up monsters instead of being here."

Erza glared at the pink haired pyromancer. "Natsu." She said imperiously. "I was invited to this island by Jellal. He said he wants to make amends with me. It would be very rude of me not to give him a chance, as for the bags, this island has a famous resort. It would be an insult to their hospitality if I did not come fully prepared to enjoy it."

"Okay, but explain why the rest of us." He gestured to Lucy and Happy, who were attempting to dig through Mount Luggage to find Gray. "Are here, and why we are carrying your luggage, I know for a fact you could carry all this stuff, I've seen you do it!"

"Natsu, you fool. This is a vacation, do you really expect me to carry my own luggage?"

"WHAT!" Natsu roared, fire literally flaring from his mouth, only to be interrupted by Erza's fist.

"Careful Natsu! Do not set my things on fire, only half of them are fireproof." As she berated and punched Natsu, he stumbled, falling to the ground and dropping all the bags he was carrying. Burying himself up to the neck.

"NATSU! You should be more careful with other peoples belongings!" Erza shouted as she smacked the helpless dragon slayer.

While Erza was disciplining Natsu, Happy and Lucy had extracted Gray from the luggage of doom. His eyes were shut and he wasn't moving.

"He's not breathing!" Lucy wailed. Clutching at the ice mage, her shriek was silenced as Happy stuck a paw in her mouth.

"Don't worry Lucy. I know what to do, Mira told me about this one time." The cat landed on Gray's neck and pinched his nose shut. Taking a huge breath the cat started to perform mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Lucy watched in shock, not sure how to react to the sight.

"It's not working!" Happy wailed after several breaths.

"…Maybe you shouldn't be standing on his wind pipe." Lucy suggested weakly. Still trying to decide if she should laugh or be disturbed.

"Oh yeah!" Happy brightened up. "I forgot the second part." Happy flew up into the air and hovered about twenty feet above the prone mage. He then did a dive bomb, slamming into Gray's belly as hard as he could.

"URK!" Gray's eyes flew open and he started coughing, clutching his stomach.

"Gray! You're alive! I'm a hero!"

Lucy just stared, trying to get the image out of her head. She was woken from her stupor as Erza approached, dragging Natsu. "Listen up Lucy. I'm going to find Jellal, the hotel is just down the road, I want you to guide the others there and set up our belongings. Can you do that Lucy?" the blond just nodded weakly.

"Good."

Erza left the group and walked away. Looking a map to the island she began to head out of town. As she passed she saw many strange decorations and clothing throughout the town. It certainly didn't match what could be seen in Fiore. There were people dressed in high-class suites, walking along side people dressed in loincloths. There were even a few people walking around in robotic suits. Normally her suit of armor got a few odd looks but here it was practically normal. Dodging past a group of people dressed in chicken costumes, she left the town. Passing through a forest, she finally reached the beach Jellal had marked on her map.

There wasn't another soul in sight, the relaxing sound of the waves mad her feel uncomfortable in her armor, she requiped into a one-piece swimsuit. She sighed; it was nice to get out of her armor now and again. Now she just needed to find Jellal.

She turned the corner on a cliff stopped dead. Jellal was right where he said he would be, but rather than looking happy to see her, he was lying facedown in the sand. His blue hair and the sand around his head were stained red.

He had been attacked.

There was a man crouching over him. All she took the time to notice was that he had green hair.

"Jellal!" she shouted, and charged.

S&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;D

Zoro glanced up at the sudden shout to see a woman rushing at him. Must be the blue haired guy's friend or something. Annoying, but nothing he couldn't handle. There was a flash of light as a saber appeared in the lady's hand.

Oh.

He leapt backwards and sand scattered as the saber struck the ground. Zoro eyed the women with interest. She looked young, about his age, with scarlet hair. There was another flash of light and suddenly she had a suit of armor on, and was holding a second sword.

"You attacked Jellal!" she screamed.

"I didn't attack him! I landed on him." He protested.

"So you admit it!" Great. She was one of the reasonable ones. He drew his first sword and blocked her attack.

"It was an accident." He responded calmly. Staring into her eyes over the crossed blades.

"You lie!" the woman suddenly twisted one of her hands, the sword disappearing and a mace materialized in her hand. She bashed it into his chest and sent him staggering. Alright, he'd tried talking his way out and it hadn't worked.

Time to fight.

Drawing his second sword and blocking her follow up attack. Stopping her attack dead once more. Sweeping his swords outwards, he forced her weapons to the side and brought his own into a downward slash that had the knight lady leaping back.

They eyed each other from across the beach. The woman glanced at his third sword and scowled. "Are you not taking me seriously?"

He grinned. "No, should I?" Pointing both swords at the ground. He leapt at her.

"Demon Bear!" he roared as his swords crashed into hers. Erzas eyes widened at the force and shouted. "Requip: Giant's armor!" taking on a bulky golden armor she dug her feet in and shoved back, throwing him backwards.

"Requip: Flight Armor." Zoro had just enough time to catch a glimpse of cheetah print cloth, before she disappeared. What?

"Sonic claw!" Zoro felt several slashes hit him on the back and sides before launching him into a cliff.

That should be enough for this arrogant fool, trying to take me on without magic. Scoffing, Erza shook her head and turned away.

"Not bad." She whipped around. The weird swordsman was back on his feet, showing only a few shallow cuts for her trouble, nor he didn't look in pain, or even annoyed.

He was grinning. He looked excited.

"You've made your point." He smirked, "I suppose I should take this seriously." Placing one of his katana in between his teeth, he pulled a piece of dark green cloth form around his arm and started tying it around his head. Once the bandana was tied he drew his third sword and looked at her. His smirk widened, eye's glinting with malice.

"Panther kin!"

He crouched and launched himself into the air once more and started spinning. She started to dodge to the side but faltered. A shiver of fear ran through her mind suddenly panicking as she watched him draw closer.

'He's going to kill me!' part of her mind screamed. She snarled mentally and crushed the voice. Forcing her body to move once more, she leapt to the side. What the hell was that? It felt like he was so sure he was going to kill her it had became a physical force. It must have been some kind of subtle magic spell, a fear spell? She steeled herself as he flew past and readied herself for a counter.

"Sonic cla-urk!" she stumbled as she felt a cut three cuts open up on her side, breaking off her attack.

How? She had dodged him!

She had no time to contemplate as he landed and spun around, sending sand flying, and launched himself again and she didn't trust herself to dodge.

"Requip Piercing armor!" she hefted an enormous lance and blocked the strikes, using the weapons bulk she tossed him away from her.

Not giving him time to recover, she hefted the lance and attacked. This lance could pierce through a fortress, he would have to dodge or be skewered.

He didn't dodge; bringing his swords together in an x he intercepted the lance point. His muscles bugled and his feet left furrows in the sand as she pushed him back.

But the lance wouldn't penetrate.

He must be using some kind of strengthening magic. But that couldn't be right, she sensed no magic coming from the blades, nor from him.

What the hell is he?

Holy shit! She hits hard.

Zoro grunted, and dug his feet in further and locking his arms against the force of the lance. It felt like holding back a freight train.

He twisted his neck violently, craning his head back then bringing the sword in his mouth down in a savage slash that cut the lance in half.

He lunged at her, slamming his swords into her chest, denting her armor and launching her backwards toward the water, where she landed with a splash. Taking a few steps back he quietly gauged his opponent.

Defiantly a challenging opponent: fast, strong, and skilled. Not to mention all these weird outfits and weapons she kept pulling out of nowhere, how was she doing that anyway? He watched her standup out in the water and glare at him.

Not a devil fruit user then, he mused. If she were, then the sea would be paralyzing her. I guess Robin was right, she very well could be a warrior from another world.

Now wasn't that exciting.

He started to grin again. A warrior from another world? Hmmmm, his dream was to be the strongest swordsman in the world. He just might have to expand that to other worlds as well. Oh well, one step at a time.

"You." Hmmm? Oh she was talking to him again.

"Yeah?"

"What is your name?"

"Zoro…Yours?"

"Erza. You are clearly strong, monstrously so. But it will not be enough to defeat me. I am a mage of Fairy Tail, and I'm not going to lose to you!" mage? So the armor thing was magic… heh…sure why not?

"Well Erza… I'm going to be the world's strongest swordsman one day. If that dreams going to become a reality, then I can't afford to lose to you or anyone else who wields a sword. But you're welcome to try, defeating you will only help me grow on the path."

"Hmmmph. Insolent fool! Requip: Heaven's Wheel Armor!" Tossing her hair back, a she started to glow again. When the light faded she was wearing a metallic looking dress, with several metal angel wings behind her. I tilted my head to the side, this armor looked more exposed then the last one, why would she…?

"Circle sword!" in a flash of light, a dozen swords appeared around her and started to spin, forming a kind of buzz saw.

Ah. That's why.

Erza raised her wings and flapped them, propelling herself above the water and flying straight at him, swords moving with her like a ring around a planet.

Shit, those blades were actually moving pretty fast. Zoro brought his swords up. Sparks flew as Erza's blade crashed against his. One or two slipping past his guard and slicing him, ignoring the injuries he focused on keeping the blades at bay. Erza slashed at him several more times, then disengaged, gliding up to a palm tree. She perched on top of it and pointed one of her swords at him.

"Feel the strength of Fairy Tail! Blumenblatt!" there were more bursts of light as more swords burst into existence. Twenty, thirty, forty… Crap. There had to be at least a hundred of them all hovering in the air pointing at him like a swarm of bees. As one every single blade flew at him.

His body blurred as he jumped, dodged, rolled and slashed trying to dodge all the swords, his furious movements accompanied by the sound of ringing metal.

There were too many, he felt one slash at his leg and arm even as he ducked under one aimed at his head. He could feel the blood running down his body he glimpsed Erza throwing herself off the tree straight at him.

Erza narrowed her eyes as she approached the beleaguered swordsman. She would end this arrogant moss-head now!

"Trinity Sword!"

"DRAGON COIL!" Right as she reached him, he began to spin, swords extended. A shockwave of wind flew out from him, swirling into a tornado. The wind caught her wings and launched her towards the sky along with her swords.

She felt several gashes appear on her chest and arms. She started to fall; glancing over she saw that two of her metal wings had been sliced off. She looked down and saw Zoro preparing an attack.

If he thought he had her so easily, he had another thing coming.

"Requip: Black Wing Armor!" the black demonic armor appeared and she spread bat-like wings catching the air and propelling herself back into the sky. She could see a look of irritation cross the swordsman face as her swords fell around him like rain. She smirked.

He was more dangerous than she gave him credit for. She needed a plan if she wanted to win. Despite the wounds and blood covering him, he showed no sign of even beginning to slow down. Still if she remained up here, out of his reach, she could easily formulate a plan to-

"108 Pound Cannon." Pure instinct caused her to lunge to the side, saving her as an enormous shockwave of energy shot by inches from her face. But it threw her off balance. A shadow crossed over her face.

What? How did he get above her?

"Demon Crow Hunt!"

His swords blurred, and she saw both her wings fall apart, also feeling a slash across her back. Both of them plummeted out of the sky, their impacts sending up two waves of sand.

Groaning, she dragged herself out of her crater, gritting her teeth when she saw that Zoro was already back on his feet. Albeit looking the worse for wear.

He smirked at her. "Had enough yet?"

That was it. She would show this swordsman what happened to those who threaten Fairy Tail.

"Requip: Armadura Armor."

Her body began to crackle with energy as she called forth her strongest armor. Donning the pink feathery armor, she drew her two sabers and began to focus her energy. Green light began to gather around her as the magic took form.

Across from her, the smirk had disappeared from her opponents face, replaced by a determined scowl. As Zoro focused himself, the ground around him began to darken and a wind started to whip the sand up around him

"Demon Spirit Nine Sword Style." He spoke calmly. His form began to waver, making him appear to have three heads and six arms, reminding Erza of a statue of a demon god she had once seen. "Asura."

Three pairs of eyes narrowed at her matching her glare and showing nothing but utter determination. She would not back down. She was a mage of Fairy Tail and they did not give up. To some unspoken signal, they leapt at each other.

"FAIRY PIERCING SWORD!" Her magic forming a green cone of energy around her as she lunged.

"ASURA: SILVER MIST!" six of his swords crossing to meet her charge.

There was a burst of light as the attacks collided, blasting trees, sand, and seawater high into the air. Erza pushed against the swords, but could not break through to the to slash the swordsman wielding them. Slowly, inexorably, she began to feel herself being push backed by her foes monstrous strength. She grit her teeth and redoubled her efforts, throwing as much of her magic against the green haired warrior as she could, The green energy raging even harder around them. In response, the swordsman once more reared his head back, the movement being copied by his additional heads, and brought the blades swinging in, crashing against her swords. Unable to withstand the magical and physical strain, her swords cracked and shattered.

The magic released itself with an explosive boom.

When the smoke had cleared, Erza was left standing. Clutching the hilts of her shattered blades. She looked down at herself. The Armadura Armor had taken the brunt of the blast, protecting her, but was completely ruined. She looked up; Zoro was lying on the ground unmoving, his additional arms and heads having faded into nonexistence.

Good, it was over. She turned from her foe and started limping away.

"Where…do you think… You're going?"

Erza froze. Not possible, none had ever been able to take that attack and fight on. She slowly turned. But despite the utter impossibility of the feat, the green haired swordsman was slowly rising to his feet. He looked terrible, blood was pouring down his chest, down his face into one of his eyes, and his shirt was in tatters, although his pants were inexplicably untouched. He grinned at her and cracked his neck.

"We're not done here." He smirked, sticking out his tongue and licking up some of the blood on his face.

Erza grimaced; silently assessing her reserves of magic. It didn't look good, she had enough for one, maybe two requips, but not enough to actually utilize any of my magic armors or weapons. She had spent far too much in that last attack.

So be it.

Reaching up she undid the clasps on her armor, letting the wreckage of her Armadura Armor fall to the ground. She accessed her dimensional pocket one last time, requiping into a pair of red pants with a fire motif, and nothing but bandages around her chest. As her hair raised itself into a ponytail, two swords materialized in her hands. There were no magical power in this equipment; they were just cloth and steel. But they would be enough.

They had to be.

Her opponent grinned, clearly able to sense that this was where it would end. He extended his arms and began to spin his swords in front of him until they were nothing but a blur.

One final time, the two blurred towards each other.

Erza leveled her swords, and sent them slashing forward.

"Three swords style: Three Thousand Worlds!"

They landed a little ways apart. Standing silently, Erza once more clutching the hilts of shattered blades.

I…Lost?

Erza's eyes fluttered as she collapsed and her world went black.

Zoro sighed. Wearily sheathing his swords and turning to look at his opponent. She clearly wasn't getting up.

He had won.

Looking around he took in his surroundings. The peaceful beach he had glimpsed before he crash-landed on that blue haired guy was completely gone. There were craters and deep trenches spread all along this area of the beach, trees were scattered, and cliffs were cracked. There were also swords sticking out of everywhere like some kind of bizarre flower field.

The wildlife hadn't been spared either. There were quite a few fish flopping about on the sand, or skewered by swords. A few feet away a big sea turtle was laying on it's back, glaring balefully at the swordsman.

Wandering lazily over to it, he flipped it right side up. It scuttled back to the sea, but not before flipping some sand up over the swordsman. He winced, hissing as the sand got in his wounds.

Shit. He actually had quite a few of those. Chopper was going to be pissed. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a roll of bandages. The little doctor had insisted he carry some at all times for some reason.

After a few minutes, he had bandaged his most serious wounds, which would suffice until Chopper could tend to him. When he was done, there was still half the roll left. He glanced at the prone swordswoman, Erza, he corrected himself. She had quite a few injuries herself, and it would be a shame to let someone so strong bleed out over a misunderstanding. If that happened, they wouldn't be able to have a rematch. He'd taken an unacceptable number of injuries in the fight, so he had to improve.

Shrugging, he started to amble towards the injured mage.

S&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;D

Erza opened her eyes, then immediately shut them again as the afternoon sun stabbed them with light. She hurt all over; she could feel cuts, slashes and bruises all over her body. The only reason she didn't have broken or missing limbs was thanks to her armor. That swordsman had done a number on her…the swordsman!

Erza forced her eyes back open, and forced her body to sit up, fighting against her bodies pained protests she desperately searched her surroundings. She was still at the shore, lying under the only tree that was still standing. She spotted the swordsman laying a short distance from her, napping. As her eyes found him, one of his opened and locked on hers.

"Oh." He yawned, pushing himself up into a sitting position "You woke up pretty fast." She tensed waiting to see what would happen next. "I'm not going to attack you…unless you attack me. I wouldn't recommend it." He yawned again.

Assessing her pools of magic once more, she was forced to agree. Her magic was spent and there was little she could do about it. Looking down, she was taken aback to find bandages wrapped around her injuries.

"You treated my wounds?"

"Yeah."

She narrowed her eyes. "Why?" she demanded. The moss head paused, clearly thinking over how to respond to the question.

He shrugged. "You needed it." It was strange; he seemed far less threatening when he wasn't fighting. What happened to his massive killing intent?

"Why would you help me after attacking Jellal and myself?"

"Erza!" whipping her head around at the voice she saw a blue haired man staggering towards her. His face and hair were splattered with red.

"Jellal!" Erza forced herself to her feet and stumbled towards the man. Gripping his shoulders she looked him over. "You're covered in blood." She cried.

He looked at her in confusion, wiping his face he looked at it, seeing the red his eyes widened in understanding. Why did he suddenly look nervous?

"Umm… That's not blood. It's actually strawberry cake. I had gotten one for you. But I got hit from behind, and I must have fallen face first into it. Then passed out." He finished sheepishly. Strawberry cake?

So he wasn't hurt.

He had made her worried for no reason! Unacceptable!

She punched him in the face.

"You idiot!" She scolded, hands on hips. "I was worried about you, when really you were just taking a nap in a piece of cake!" Jellal clutched his face, moaning. She turned to look at the swordsman. He had gotten to his feet and was starring at her with a faintly bemused look.

"And you!" she snapped, causing him to tense, placing a hand on the hilts of one of his swords. "Why did you attack Jellal?"

"I told you it was an accident." He snapped back, scowling. Erza narrowed her eyes even further.

"Explain."

The swordsman looked annoyed at being ordered, but complied. Telling a quick story about stupid rubber bands. While the story was rather ridiculous, she couldn't find any hints that he was lying. If she accepted his story as true, then the whole fight had truly been a misunderstanding. One she had caused by rushing in and attacking. Which meant that it was her fault! How foolish!

"I see. I am truly sorry for attacking you as I did." She apologized, bowing to the swordsman. He started to wave her off. "Please hit me."

"What" he blinked.

"I have erred and should be punished." It was only right.

"Uh…" he scratched the back of his head, then shrugged. "I'll pass, I've already hit you enough. So don't worry about it."

"Very well. Then allow me to introduce myself properly." Straitening up she extended her hand. "I am Erza Scarlet, mage of Fairy Tail."

He took her hand shaking it. "Roranoa Zoro, first mate and swordsman of the straw-hat pirates."

She nodded. "Are you sure there is nothing I can do to make up for my error?"

Zoro started to shake his head, then paused, suddenly grinning. "Actually… Do you have anything to eat? Preferably meat?"

S&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;D

Luffy sat on the Figurehead of his ship. Ussop had lent him a telescope and he was looking to the island, trying to find his swordsman.

Suddenly spotting a speck of green sitting on the beach. He knew that mossy green anywhere!

"Zoro!" he yelled excitedly. Zoro was sitting on the beach and staring out at the approaching ship. He seemed to lock eyes with Luffy through the telescope. He held up his hand, clutched in it was a piece of meat! Expertly cooked if Luffy was any judge. Luffy started to salivate; The Other World Meat! He knew Zoro would come through for him.

The swordsman suddenly gave a predatory smirk, sending a shiver down Luffy's spine. He slowly started to raise the meat.

No.

He wouldn't.

Zoro took a bite of the meat.

"ZORO! YOU BASTARD! I KNEW YOU WERE TRYING TO TASTE THE OTHER WORLD MEAT FIRST!"

S&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;D

And thus, another chapter has come to a close.

"**A satisfying conclusion. Even had a feel good reconciliation scene at the end."**

"_They got sliced up!"_

"Anyway, time to go over the results."

Okay, Erza: she is very strong, very versatile, and there is absolutely no question of her skill.

"But, one thing about her is that she is a bit of a walking dues ex machina."

That's true, while strong, if there is a fight that she should by all means lose, where she is hopelessly outmatched. She'll think of what will happen to her friends if she loses."

"**Usually it would mean they die horribly."**

And then she suddenly wins. It's kind of annoying. If you read Fairy Tail, you can't really deny this, no matter how much you like her. So I decided to remove her dues ex machine ability, by making it so there were no real stakes. Zoro hadn't threatened or hurt her friends.

"_Except Jellal, but he's an annoying priss, so he doesn't count."_

So she had to fight on skill and power alone, with no outside motivation save her pride.

"And boy did she fight."

Her skills kept Zoro on his toes from start to finish; throwing him all around, slicing him up, and generally making him have a bad time. Her Fairy Piercing Sword, to my knowledge her most powerful attack, wasn't something that Zoro would be able to match. It would not be enough to put him down however. He has taken worse and gotten up after.

"He's like a badass samurai Cockroach. You slice and you stomp and you spray him with raid, but he still keeps going, fighting, and giving you nightmares."

Now Zoro: Any of you familiar with him probably noticed That Zoro I used was pre-time skip. This was my way of equalizing the fight: Zoro lost his two-year boost; Erza lost her dues ex machina power.

"This was fair. So far, Time-skip Zoro has shown no upper limit to his strength."

His dream is to master the sword and become the world's greatest swordsman. He once faced the strongest swordsman, Hawk-eyes Mihawk, and was badly defeated. He swore then and there that a swordsman would never defeat him again, no matter what. So he had a stronger motivation to win this fight. His dream was on the line.

"As for skill with slicey things: Zoro, unlike Erza, only has his three swords, he can't just pick a different weapon if the one he has isn't working. So he has no choice but to strive to master that one weapon. It was the difference between a specialized master, and a jack-of-all-trades, albeit a very talented one. In terms of skill, Erza could not match up."

It was close, but the winner is Zoro.

S&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;D

Thanks for reading everybody, assuming that you are still reading at this point. Reviews are welcome, but if you don't want to, that's fine too, although it will make Deadpool cry. And he needs all the moral support he can get after what happened to him. He's still underneath my bed, And much as I like him as a character, I have trouble sleeping with a disturbed, insane, violent, mercenary under my bed…please help me sleep.


	12. Survival of the Fittest

**Superhuman Fight Club**

**Heroes and villains from every dimension have one thing in common. They thoroughly enjoy beating each other up. Whether they protect the streets in shadows, stand tall as a symbol of heroism, thrive off of stealing from the less fortunate, or let out a maniacal laugh as they slaughter the innocents, all fight for what they believe in. But the question is, in a fight with no rules, who is left standing? We will take various versions of these characters from any and all realms of media to see if we can find an answer. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Thanks to S&amp;D for doing his Beta job. **

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

First of all, there will be a rematch between Ms. Marvel and Supergirl. However, it will not be coming out until after the special, so you guys have a bit of time to kill until it comes out. Second, since this is not a battle featuring comic characters, She-Hulk has refused to appear without a pay raise. Since I'm broke, she shall not be making an appearance here. This chapter came in second for the poll, so here you go...

Now this brings us to the introduction of one of the most badass super soldiers in fiction, the Master Chief. Also known as Spartan 117, or John by his close friends, the Master Chief is a killing machine, responsible for wiping out entire armies, as well as causing the extinction of one of the universes most deadly races. Taken from his home when he was a small child, the Master Chief was trained for years along with the rest of the Spartan II candidates to be the most skilled warriors of the human race. John proved himself to be the best of all of the candidates, earning him the title Master Chief. At the age 14 he was augmented with biologically and cybernetic upgrades that are largely considered to be equal, or even superior to that of Captain America's super soldier serum. He later received the MJOLNIR armor that further enhanced his abilities, giving him the strength to throw around several tons, run at a top speed of around 35 mph, shoot with pinpoint accuracy, and use lightning fast reflexes. The armor also has a regenerating energy shield function that protects him from damage. It also features a handy motion detection radar that is even capable of helping to pin-point invisible foes. The armor is designed to stop bullets as well as resist plasma, the main weapon of the Covenant. It is also designed to hold a smart A.I. to aid the Chief, however due to the events of Halo 4 that is no longer a factor in this battle. For this battle, the Chief will be equipped with a battle rifle, Spartan laser, and an energy sword. What, he only carries three weapons you say? I'm finding myself not caring; you cannot tell me that he is completely incapable of adding a third weapon to his load out, especially one as small as the energy sword. Finally, the Chief seems to have the luck of a freaking God, he survives all sorts of events that he has no business surviving, such as falling from orbit (Twice!) and escaping from 4 different Forerunner facilities. He is always able to find exactly the item he needs when he needs it, and is always able to make the Hail Mary.

Going against one of the deadliest soldiers in space, we have one of the greatest hunters in the cosmos. The Predator species is known for travelling the Universe looking for worthy prey to hunt down and kill. They go after the best of the best of the species they choose, targeting the most skilled warriors they can find. A single Predator can slaughter an entire platoon of Marines with ease, as long as one of the Marines doesn't also happen to be the Terminator. The Predator is as good a stealth master as Solid Snake, as heavily armed as Boba Fett, and as ruthless as Samus Aran. These guys hunt down Xenomorphs (the acid blooded creatures from the Alien franchise) just for fun when they are young to prove themselves to their elders. In a series of three crossovers a 3 different Predators went toe to toe with the Dark Knight and each nearly succeeded in killing him. In all three cases Batman was only able to win with either prep time to make specialized gear or the timely arrival of one of his allies.

The Predators gear allows them to see in infrared, making stealth against them nearly impossible. They are armed with several various bladed weapons, each one capable of easily tearing through a Marine's armor. The blades usually take the form of large extendable wrist mounted blades, as well as extendable bladed staffs. They also carry bladed disks that can be used for both close combat and as a thrown weapon. Also for ranged weapons, the Predator has a wire net launcher that wraps itself around its target and tightens itself until the being trapped inside is shredded apart. However, easily the most powerful weapon in the Predator's arsenal is the shoulder mounted plasma cannon. This weapon is designed to punch holes straight through even the most durable opponents, creating an explosion of energy upon impact.

Despite that bit of heavy weaponry, the Predator usually goes out of its way to avoid direct conflict, instead preferring to hide in the shadow through its armor's invisibility until it feels that the target is vulnerable for an attack. The Predator follows a strict code of honor, a defenseless opponent will generally be left alive unless they try to attack, but anyone holding a weapon or considered a threat is instantly a target. With the amount of armor and weapons Master Chief is carrying around, he might as well be wearing a bull's-eye on his chest.

Now real quick, please remember that this is the original Predator. I'm aware there are three types, original, Elder, and the "Super" Predators from the newest movie of the franchise. While I know Elder Predators are more skilled, I have never read any of the Predator comics or seen them in action, so it wouldn't be fair for me to use them. As for the "Super" Predator, three of those things went after a group about the same size as the one Arnold had in the first movie, who was only hunted by one. In the end, they ended up getting killed off by a crazy guy, a wannabe samurai, and a skinny guy who tried to fight like he was the Govenator. While they might look a lot more deadly, the feats hardly stack up, the regular Predators seem to be far more skilled. If you want to tell me that a Super Predator killed one of the original ones in that movie, I will respond by saying that the original one had been chained up for at least 2 or 3 days, and likely had been malnourished. Despite being a captive for an unknown period of time, he was still able to put up a pretty good fight despite his disadvantages. If he had been in peak condition, I believe that the original could have won that fight.

If you disagree…bite me. This is my story.

Anyways… So will the ultimate hunter be able to take down the super soldier, or will he find himself the prey? Is the Master Chief's technology and combat experience enough to overcome the Predator's natural skills and abilities? For the first time in the series, this is a battle to the death! Get ready, because here we go!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Pelican touched down on the surface of the planet Rinx. Eight Marines exited the craft, scanning the area for threats. Four of the marines carried the standard MA3 Assault Rifle, two holding MA2B Battle Rifles. The final two were specialists, one holding M45E Tactical shotgun and the other holding a 99-S5 Anti-Matériel Sniper Rifle. They advanced forward slowly, gradually checking to make sure that there were no threats in the immediate area. If the garbled reports that had been sent from the failed Spartan III program was accurate, there were likely still Forerunner Sentinels in the area. Behind the soldiers, another figure step out of the ship. He towered over the rest of the men, coat from head to foot in a slightly battered high tech green armor. While they were all professional enough to not let it show, each and every one of the men was in complete awe to be able to work with the Master Chief, savior of humanity.

Once the men were sure that they had secured the area the Pelican took off. The plan was to have the ship near the ground as little as possible, that way it would be less likely for the Sentinel forces to knock it out of the sky. It had dropped off the ground team 10 clicks from the objective. The UNSC had been checking for new planets to begin colonizing after the end of the Human-Covenant War, and had discovered a beacon left on the planet from after the first invasion of Earth. More and more, it was appearing evident that Dr. Halsey was turning her back on the UNSC to pursue her own agenda. After her arrest, Halsey had somehow escaped in a ship with several hostages aboard in some sort of stasis field. The mission was for the soldiers to track down the where the ship and recapture Halsey. However, what had really interested the Chief in the beacon was the identities of the hostages that had been taken. The other surviving members of Blue team, his former squad. Kelly, Fred, and Linda were all on this planet somewhere, trapped in a stasis, unaware of anything around them. The Chief intended to find them and free his friends. After the incident with the Didact he had been left truly alone in the universe, no longer having even his AI for companionship. When he had heard that there might be even the smallest chance that his team, was still alive, he was on the first ship out.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sargent Fohdor and his team Caducus Squad had been assigned by Captain Lasky to help the Chief locate the missing scientist on an unknown Forerunner world. Several Sentinels and even a few Prometheans had confronted the soldiers since their arrival, only to be taken out by the Spartan.

Fohdor was honored to serve alongside the legendary hero, with the aide of the Master Chief, this mission would be child's play for the Caducus squad. Besides, the only real issue on this planet were the Sentinels, and with the super soldier around, they were a non-issue. With the Flood neutralized, the Covenant defeated, and the Didact dead, what could possibly arise now that would even be remotely a challenge for the Spartan?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Unknown to the human soldiers on the planet, there in fact WAS another threat that the capable of challenging a Spartan. A small one man stealth ship had arrived on Rinx slightly before the Pelican had deployed its troops. Inside the ship a single Yautja, a Predator, was examining files stolen from the Covenant Elites about the threat that they had taken to calling "The Demon." The Predator had been hunting the Elites as prey for several cycles, and he had reached the point where they were no longer truly a challenge for him. However this "Demon" might give him the challenge he desired, the fight to the death that would elevate his name to a spot of great honor amongst his people. If this human was actually as deadly as the Covenant forces claim, he might even be skilled enough to hold his own with one of the elders.

No self-respecting hunter could pass up such a challenge. He was going to hunt the one called chief.

A silent blinking on his ships radar told him that the "Demon had arrived, he also saw eight additional life forms on his scanner. That would not do. He wanted to test this demon one on one. These extras would have to go. He grinned beneath his mask.

It was time to begin.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

John was crouching down in ruins of a small town. The Sergeant's men were sweeping the area in teams of two, hoping to find some clues as to where the other survivors had went before they disappeared. Every five minutes the team called in to report any findings. For the last two hours they had been gradually searching the area, moving up slowly. So far, while they had encountered more robotic defenders, there was no sign of their target. Even without the Spartan, the marines were able to handle the robots. These Sentinels looked like earlier models compared to the ones from the Halo the system, their obsolete tech couldn't handle the marines. A brief burst of static on TEAMCOM let Master Chief know that it was time to check in once again. Sargent Fohdor reported in first. The others were quick to follow.

"Caducus 2, nothing to report."

"Caducus 3, nada."

"Caducus 4, smashed another Sentinel. No sign of the ship.

"Caducus 5, sniper scopes are clear. Motion sensors hasn't picked up any movement."

"Caducus 6, all's well."

….

….

"Caducus 7, Caducus 8 do you copy? Sign in! Do you guys copy?"

Alarm bells ringing in his mind, John began scanning the area the second the soldiers failed to report in. He caught sight of a brief simmer in the air on the edge of the far side of the camp and took off running after it. As fast as he was, by the time he reached the area, the shimmer was gone. Instead he found of the bodies of the two missing squad members. He quickly turned on the TEAMCOM and contacted Fodder.

"We've got two men down by an unknown hostile. Be advised hostile is likely using some type of cloaking technology. Possible attack by one of the Covenant splinter groups. We need to regroup, head to the center of the ruins. We have to find this thing before anybody else gets taken out."

"Alright men, you heard the Chief. Head to the center of the ruins, we need to reorganize."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Predator had finally set eyes on the Chief. He watched as the armored warrior scanned his surroundings, searching for what had killed his men. Predator observed how he moved, how he handled his weapons. The hunter was trying to take in every single detail of his prey, looking for any miniscule element that might allow him to win the upcoming battle.

As the Chief slowly fell back towards the center of the building cluster, He decided it was time for him to cull the herd a bit more. The Sniper, the one that had thought himself so cleverly concealed, was approaching the alien's hiding spot.

Perfect.

He moved in quietly behind the marine, preparing to take him down with a single stab through the heart, just like the other two humans.

Snap. He'd stepped on a twig.

. The sniper whipped around, quickly drawing his sidearm and scanning for threats. He saw the shimmer in the air right in front of him and fired off a shot at the exact same moment as the Predator's blade pierced his chest.

Predator shook his head as he moved away from the dead marine. A twig? How sloppy. His elders would be ashamed.

But no matter, the sniper wouldn't be telling anyone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The sound of the gunshot altered the surviving humans to their fellow soldier's trouble. One pair of the Marines were closer to the sound than the rest of the squad and rushed in before the others could catch up.

John arrived just in time to witness two massive balls of plasma fly out of thin air and blast straight through both of their chests. His suit analyzed their trajectory and directed him to the point of origin. Hefting his rifle, he opened fire.

He was rewarded with the blurred shape of an attacker dodging the shots, it's cloaking tech flickering as it moved. The shape of the attacker was clearly alien, yet it was unlike any alien he had come across before. He stood slightly shorter than the average elite and had either dreadlocks or tentacles on top of its head.

The Figure took off, its camouflage returning before John could get off any more shots. Instead of chasing after it blindly, the Spartan instead decided to hold next to the bodies of the dead soldiers. More than half of the squad had been wiped out now, he couldn't afford to go chasing them wildly and leave the rest of the men defenseless.

Fohdor and his last two men arrived a few seconds later, fanned out and searching for a target.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON CHIEF? WHAT THE HELL IS THIS THING KILLING ALL MY MEN?!"

"I don't know what it is, but what I do know is that we need to move. We aren't going to wait around here and let it have the pleasure of picking us off. If we keep moving, at we might be able to find a more defendable position. Maybe we could even set up an ambush for it."

"Alright…alright." As fast as the anger had appeared on his face when he had seen his dead troops, it was just as quickly replaced with a look grim acceptance and determination. Three of his men lay dead before him, and the missing two were likely the same way. It was hard for any superior officer to lose his men, it was not the first time the sergeant had lost men. Taking charge, the Chief led the remaining men deeper into the woods and away from the old buildings.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Nearly half a day had passed since the last kill. The Predator had continued tailing his target, however it seemed that Cheif was able to sense where he was. Whenever he got too close, the Chief would spin around and fire off a few warning shots in his direction. Additionally, the smaller humans had refused to leave the Chief's side, so it was becoming an increasingly frustrating task in taking them down. But this was about to change.

The sun was going down.

Humans tended to be blind in the dark. Even if they had technology to compensate, nighttime always made them jittery, their hardwired instincts telling them that night was not their time and to fear whatever might be lurking, just out of sight.

And so they should, what was lurking just out of sight was him.

They were also distracted by a hidden bunker they had found in the side of a mountain. They had opened it up and revealed a mid-sized frigate in a hanger. The soldiers were currently gathered around a terminal, and one of the soldiers was typing into it. The Chief alternated between watching the screen over the man's shoulder and scanning around him for any signs of danger. The Predator watched curiously as the bottom of the ship opened up and a large glass tank descended to the ground. Inside the tank were three more humans, all dressed in the same garb as the chief himself. They were still as statues, an unnatural light surrounding each of them. They all had weapons drawn and their backs towards each other, like they had been preparing for a fight. Whatever that light was, it must have caught them by surprise.

The Spartan's attention was now entirely on the tank, this must be what the Chief had come to this planet for. He was distracted, failing to pay attention to his surroundings. The Predator drew a razor disk boomerang and took careful aim at his target.

He let fly.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Alright Chief, I've started the thawing process. It should be complete in about ten minutes, and then the other Spartans will be free." The Spartan barely glance at the young Marine as he and the Sergeant stared at the paralyzed soldiers.

"Any way to speed that up any? Between Halsey and an unknown hostile around here somewhere, we need them out here now."

"Sorry Chief, this is still pretty new technology, if I'm not careful with how I release this, we might accidently end up popping them. Besides, it's on an automatic timer now, I can't really effect it either way."

**Battle Music-Halo 2 Theme**

The Chief glanced back at the man just in time to see a spinning blade shear through his neck, sending his head tumbling to the floor. The blade continued on before pulling an abrupt 180 and slamming directly into the other Marine's chest. The soldier's eyes bulged as he looked down at the massive bleeding wound.

Then the blade exploded.

Leaping back from falling pieces of Marine, The Chief barely had time to draw his weapon before a shot from a plasma cannon blasted Fohdor across the room. The sergeant came to a stop, a gaping hole burned through his chest.

Using his motion senor as a guide, John fired his entire clip from his rifle towards where he thought the enemy was. He was rewarded with a flicker of energy and a spray of green blood.

The alien retaliated, launching a razor net at the Spartan, wrapping around him and tightening. The net unable to get past the Spartan's armor, but it crushed his weapon against his chest, warping the weapons frame and rendering it useless. Chief pushed back on the net, stretching it to its limit before finally breaking free. Once out of the net, he was finally able to get his first unobstructed look at the alien.

It stood slightly shorter than the Chief, about six and a half feet. It was covered in grey armor, a massive mask covering any details of its face. Long tentacle like dreadlocks came out the back of the helmet and went down to slightly below its shoulders. At certain places, patches of a greenish-white skin were visible. There were several dents on the creature's armor that matched those made by the Chief's battle rifle, indicating that at least some of his shots had hit home. A spot on its arm was bandaged, the source of the bloody green wound John had inflicted earlier. What looked like an extendable blade device was visible on the warrior's right wrist, and a massive cannon sat on the same shoulder.

John took in every one of these detail in only a couple seconds, then he was dodging and weaving the massive blue balls of energy that were fired from its blaster. A single blast was able to hit the Spartan before he was able to make cover. The blasted had managed to knock his shields down to less than a quarter of their full power, but the recycle feature quickly kicked in. In only a couple seconds, it was like he hadn't been hit at all.

Alright, so the blast was just a bit less powerful than a direct hit from a standard fuel rod gun. Drawing his Spartan Laser, the Chief poked his head around the corner. While he wasn't able to see the alien, his motion senor detected it moving slowly around the room, staying close to the wall. Easy enough, he'd fought plenty of cloaking tech before.

Moving faster than any normal man could, the Chief broke cover and lobbed a pair of frag grenades at the enemy. The Predator began running, firing plasma blasts as it moved. The Chief continued to move, dodging around the blasts as his weapon charged up. In a single move, he slide right underneath one of the blasts and fired while lying on his back. The beam struck true, slamming right into the Predator's shoulder.

With a flash of red and blue, the cannon blew up.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Predator's head was ringing, the explosive destruction of the plasma cannon had been far too close to escape unscathed, and his armor system was a wreck. Before the human had a chance to fire again, the hunter let loose the last of his flying blades, launching the weapon directly into the barrel of the chiefschief's weapon... The Spartan tossed the weapon to the side seconds before it exploded in a burst of red energy. The two stood across from each other, their supply of ranged weapons exhausted. They were going to have to get in close quarters to finish this.

Slowly, delicately, the Predator reached up and released the seal for its armored faceplate. Flaring his mouth, the hunter clicked his mandibles together, challenging his foe to combat. Then with a flick of his wrists, the metal blade extended to its full length. Similarly, the Chief pulled out Arbiter's energy blade and sunk down into a ready stance. The two killers squared off against one another. Both were victors of dozens of battles, both had faced down impossible odds. Now face to face, only one would be walking out of this room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Unknown to both of the combatants, the stasis field on the three Spartan's was continuing to fade. While they were still unable to move, the three had gradually become aware of what was going on around them. Due to their positioning, neither Spartan 104 (Fred) nor Spartan 058 (Linda), were able to see any of the action going on. They could only observe the friend or foe reading on their motion senor and try to figure out what was going on by listening to the sounds of battle. The third super soldier, Spartan 087 (Kelly) was able to witness every moment of it. She watched as her best friend from childhood charged forward; his blade swinging to short, controlled arcs as he attempted to slice up the foul faced alien. The thing flared its mouth as it looked blades with the Spartan, then an expression that could be translated as shock crossed its features as the super soldier's strength out matched its own. The Chief pushed the alien back and then delivered a hard kick to its chest, stumbling it backward. Using the momentum from his kick, the Chief spun around a full 180 degrees and slammed a backhand to its head. The alien tumbled to the ground, but was able to turn its momentum into a roll to regain its footing. John continued to try and press his advantage, moving forward and driving the alien back.

Kelly watched as the Chief took the advantage, his enhanced strength and speed proving more than enough to keep his foe off balance. The Predator was mostly trying to dodge now, but even then it hadn't been able to avoid taking several shallow cuts along its arm and the exposed portions of its chest. But it wasn't solely defensive however, John's armor was showing damage from several attacks as well.

Kelly was desperately flexing her muscles as she tried to free herself. There were only four Spartan IIs alive in the entire galaxy, the remains of Blue Squad. It was killing her that her best friend of more than three decades was fighting for his life right in front of her and she couldn't do anything more than stare at him. While the alien wasn't able to match John's physical abilities, it was showing a skill at close combat that surpassed his own. The Spartan's usually didn't have a need to get into a physical battle, they solved most of their problems by shooting them. But this alien, even with the condition it was in, it was still able to counterstrike, probing at the Chief's armor for weaknesses. His shields had failed already and he was relying solely on the durability of his suit. The constant exchange of blows eliminated any chance of them having a chance to recharge. John leaned in for another blow, swinging his blade in an attempt to cut his opponents jugular. The Predator ducked the blow, growling slightly as several of its dreadlocks fell to the ground. Before John could pull his arm back though, the Predator was able to grab on and pull, throwing the Spartan off balance. Then the alien slammed his blade straight in between a gap in the plates of his armor. As John staggered backwards and the blood began pouring down his side, Kelly couldn't do anything but blink.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Predator pulled back his blade and dodged another wild swing from the human. The super soldier's body was durable, the blade had been deflected off of one of the bones, missing the vital organs. The blood flow down his side had stopped, plugged up by the gel in his suit. While the wound would hinder his fighting abilities and leave that side more vulnerable, it wasn't enough to keep him down.

Nonetheless, he knew where to strike now.

He aimed for the gaps in the plates, inflicting more wounds at a slow, gradual pace. The Spartan was still getting in his own cuts, and his super strength punches and kicks were no picnic, but little by little the Predator was bleeding him out. The alien dodged to the left to avoid another slash, retaliating with a cut that left a bloody furrow on the soldier's arm. A brutal punch knocked the Predator back across the room, but he was able to return to his feet in time to block the energy blade with him own weapon. The Predator dodged back to avoid another kick, then angled himself to the left, smashing an armored fist into the Chief's head. The blow didn't even seem to shake him, and the cut was once again almost instantly sealed.

His opponent was strong, but Predator could smell victory.

Once more the Predator was able to avoid a fatal blow to his head, leaving only a small trail of blood on his cheek. Then he launched his arm forward once more, his blade aimed for another vulnerable point in the Chief's armor. The Chief twisted his body slightly, just enough that he was able to deflect the blade off of one his armor plates. The alien was knocked slightly off balance as his momentum was unexpectedly changed. He quickly compensated, turning his momentum into a spin to slash straight threw his opponents neck. The blade swung true, cutting straight threw where the human's neck was located. Except… the neck wasn't there anymore. Instead, a green gloved hand had caught the bladed wrist. Instead of witnessing a fountain of blood, the alien howled in pain and fury as the human squeezed, destroying his armor and shattering his wrist. The Predator let out a pained wail trying desperately to break free from the Spartan's iron grip. Before he could break free though, the Chief's energy blade swung in a final, deadly arc.

Time seemed to slow as predator watched the blade draw close. He had lost. He had time for a final sigh; such was the nature of the hunt.

There was a brief feeling of detachment as his head toppled from his body and he knew no more.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Master Chief stood over the dead body of the alien. Despite its different appearance, the thing had fought surprisingly similar to a Covenant Elite. He breathed heavily, gasping desperately for breath. Despite all of his suits protection he had still been badly hurt. John turned his back to the corpse and walked over to the fallen soldiers. In a movement that he had sadly been able to commit to muscle memory, the Chief pulled off the dog tags from the fallen men.

A sudden heavy footfall behind him caused Chief to spin around, his blade reigniting in his hand. However, instead of more enemies to combat, his friends stood before him. They stared at each other in silence for a moment before the Chief brought his hands up to his face, his fingers spread in the Spartan's version of a smile. The other three returned the gesture and one of them, Kelly, came forward and quickly began assessing his wounds. Linda stood off to the side, stoic as ever. Her sniper rifle scanned her surroundings, checking to ensure that there were no further threats. Fred just watched Kelly examine John, his head tilted in a way to convey that he was amused. Finally, Kelly was satisfied that John wasn't in critical condition and took a few steps back from him. John activated his communicator, glad to finally be able to see his friends for the first time since the first battle of Earth more than three years ago.

BEEP

BEEP  
BEEP

All four Spartans spun on their heels, weapons trained on the source of the noise. On the green aliens wrist sat a metal box with glowing red symbols on it. After each beep the symbols changed, the size of them gradually getting smaller.

The Spartans all exchanged quick glances and then started running, there was only one thing that could mean, they knew the sound of a countdown when they heard one.

Kelly easily took the lead, proving once again why she was known as the rabbit, the fastest Spartan, the fastest human to ever live. The other Spartans were close behind though, the Master Chief only slightly behind Fred and Linda due to his wounds. Behind them, the counter reached zero.

A massive fireball flew outwards from the Predator, vaporizing it instantly. The blast caught all four of the Spartans, sending them tumbling. John's shield only just survived the blast, and then gave out after the number of times he had bounced off the ground. His armor absorbed the rest of the damage; once more the armor protected him from death. He rolled to his feet and began looking around, unsure as to where his friends had landed. Then he saw three green dots on his HUD. With a small grin that nobody could see, he active his comms once more.

"Olley olley oxen free. We're in the clear."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Master Chief takes the win! While in terms of skill the Predator may take a slight edge, it loses in every other stat that matters. The Chief's augmentation and his armor make him a walking tank, it takes a LOT of bullets and explosives to take a good Spartan down. The Predator doesn't really bring anything new to the table that the Chief hasn't seen before, while no Predator has ever faced off against a human like the Chief. The closest to the Chief a Predator has ever faced off against is old Arnold, and everybody and their mother knows how that fight turned out. While the Predator is without question an extremely tough opponent, the Master Chief has what it takes to go toe to toe and end up on top.

AN: Thanks for reading everybody, I appreciate the continued support. Now, assuming that I'm able to finish my next chapter before S&amp;D can think of another idea, the next chapter and third place winner of the poll… will be a surprise. There was a three way tie between Cyborg VS Deathlok, Spider-Man VS Black Spider, and X23 VS Cassandra Cain. I have a story in mind already put if given a good reason I can be convinced to change my mind. Also, right now I am trying to think up ideas for a name change for this story, the current one is too much of a mouthful for my liking. If anyone has any suggestions, I'd appreciate it if you either leave it in a review or PM me. If you give me a good suggestion and I pick it for a title, I'll let you pick a fight of your choice for me to write. No matter how much research I have to do on it, I shall complete the task. Until next time, please review!


	13. Assassins Creed

**Superhuman Fight Club**

**Heroes and villains from every dimension have one thing in common. They thoroughly enjoy beating each other up. Whether they protect the streets in shadows, stand tall as a symbol of heroism, thrive off of stealing from the less fortunate, or let out a maniacal laugh as they slaughter the innocents, all fight for what they believe in. But the question is, in a fight with no rules, who is left standing? We will take various versions of these characters from any and all realms of media to see if we can find an answer. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Thanks to S&amp;D for doing his Beta job. **

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Chapter 13- Assassins Creed- Assassins (FINALLY) In Japan**

Hello and welcome! Remember how last chapter I said that I wanted to change the story name and I asked you lot for ideas? Well I changed my mind again and decided that I'm going to leave it as is for the duration. I made the corny title so I'm going to OWN the corny title. As for fight of your choice thing I promised for best name? Well Jokerman is the only one who actually submitted a name so take a guess who won. Joker, send me a PM later and we'll figure out the details.

Now that the pleasantries are out of the way, it's time for another cat fight! Difference is, while these girls can't level a city all by themselves, they are far more likely to kill you. It's a battle of the teen assassins as Laura Kinney, X23 faces off against Cassandra Cain, the second Batgirl.

When Wolverine escaped from his jailors at the Weapon X facilities, he left behind enough DNA for some nut-job scientists to try an experiment that has backfired on every Sci-Fi villain in existence.

They attempted to clone him

The scientists of the projected hoped to get from his DNA what they had wanted from the original; a nearly immortal assassin that they could use and program to further their own agenda. What could possibly go wrong?

The program found itself struggling. As the DNA left from Logan was damaged; resulting in twenty-two failed attempts at making their own baby Wolverine. That's when one of the scientists got the idea of using her DNA to repair the damaged mutant strand. What resulted was not an exact clone Logan, but more like an unknown daughter. As the twenty third attempt at making a Wolverine clone,; she was called X23.

How…creative.

From birth, X23 was trained to be the ultimate assassin, learning the arts of stealth and killing. Supplementing her skills are her natural mutant abilities, inherited from her "father". X23 is capable of healing at a faster rate than even Wolverine himself, once reattaching an arm after it had been lopped off. She has two claws concealed in either hand along with another hidden in each of her feet. The toe claws are best used as surprises for a quick, unexpected deadly slash.

Before she was able to break out of the lab and kill everybody to escape, the scientists that were training X23 forced upon her a trigger scent. This scent will send her into an uncontrollable killing rage, she will slaughter anybody dosed in the scent and anybody who gets in her way. Sarah Kinney, the scientist who broke X23 out and named her Laura, experienced this first hand when she was doused by the chemical and brutally killed.

Tough luck right there.

While Laura is still young, she has shown herself to be one of the best killers on her Earth; in fact, she is the second best there is at what she does.

But that raises the question... is second best going to be good enough?

X23 is good, but Cassandra Cain might just be better. Cassandra Cain is the daughter of Lady Shiva and David Cain, two martial artists in the DC verse who are capable of going toe to toe with Batman and coming out on top. She was raised for the majority of her childhood by her father and trained by some of the greatest martial artists in the world.

David Cain put so much emphasis on teaching his daughter how to fight; he never actually bothered helping her learn to speak, leaving her unable to talk at all until helped by Batman.

David's goal was to turn her into the ultimate assassin, the most deadly human on Earth. In fact, if you ignore her strong moral aversion to killing, he succeeded. After saving the life of Commissioner Gordon she was adopted by Bruce Wayne and ended up becoming the second Batgirl, receiving further training from Barbara Gordon, Lady Shiva, Tim Drake, Black Canary, and even Batman himself. As if she hadn't already been instructed by enough martial artist masters. Essentially, she has black belts wrapped around her black belt.

After she gave up her position as Batgirl to Steph Brown, she took up the mantle of Black Bat and made Hong Kong China her base of operations. As a result of her natural talent and her extensive training, she has reached a level where she has managed to surpass all of her teachers in terms of raw skill. Even Batman himself has never beaten her in a straight up fight without some sort of gadget or other aid.

The second Batgirl easily places in the Top 5 for martial artists in her world. However, this placing comes from more than just her extreme training. Her physical abilities make many people question whether or not she is truly just an ordinary human. Many of her feats are only capable of someone who has at least minor metahuman abilities: She is fast enough to dodge sniper bullets AFTER they have already left the barrel; she is capable of reading an opponent's movement so well that she can predict their every move; her movement reading ability is so good that it is comparable to the Spidey Sense.

While she doesn't rely on gadgets as much as the rest of the bat clan, she really doesn't need to. Even Deathstroke, with all of his enhanced physique, still had trouble facing up against this young girl.

So now the question of the day is; can Cassandra Cain's immense skill grant her the win over the mutant assassin, or will X23's natural abilities grant her an edge over Bat clan's deadliest warrior?

Let's find out:

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Cassandra Cain was not happy to be in Tokyo. She liked the city itself well enough, and she liked the culture and history of the nation. But having to sneak across the border to hunt down a terrorist that had given her the slip was not her idea of a good time.

Jakkasu, the terrorist, was a known member of several mutant hating organizations and was wanted by governments across the globe. Less than a week ago he had led a team of fanatics in Tokyo that had killed five mutants and stolen components for a dirty bomb. Cass had confronted them as the Black Bat, beating them badly. But despite her best attempts, Jakkasu had managed to escape to island nation with the bomb parts in his possession.

Probably planning on blowing up one of the secretive mutant communities as a message of to the world, or some crap like that.

Cassandra planned on taking him in…eventually, after pumping him for information. and stopping the bomb. She had no intention of letting a bomb go off and kill innocent people, it didn't matter to her whether they were mutants or not. People were people, and it was her job to protect them.

After calling in a few favors from a contact in the area, Cass tracked the terrorist to an office complex that had recently been rented out, paid for entirely in cash. She was crouched down on the building opposite, trying to get every possible tactical advantage before entering. There were five cars in the parking lot, two armed men visible outside the building. About three blocks away a black van with tinted windows was parked underneath a faulty street lamp, no nearby light reaching the vehicle. With how the mission had gone so far, most likely contained a backup gun team for the criminals inside. Cass chose to leave them for now, she had no plans for any actual confrontation on this mission, she did NOT need local police showing up and shooting at her. All she had to do was sneak in, knock Jakkasu out, and then sneak back out with him. If she did this right, nobody would figure out what happened to him until they received his one phone call from prison.

Cass launched a cable to cross the gap between the buildings, coming to a stop on the wall one floor above the first of the gunmen. The moron had left the window open, maybe her luck was turning around a bit. With practiced ease she swung herself and promptly delivered a snap kick to the man's face. She snagged the man's limp body before he had time to fall, slowly lowering him to the ground and tying him up. After stuffing him into a nearby closet, the Black Bat tracked down the other foot soldier, knocking him out from behind with a well-placed chop to the neck. Once he was secured, she stalked over towards the staircase. It was time to begin her search.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Black Bat had just completed her sweep of the third floor when she heard the screaming. She dashed over towards the stairs and quickly made her way down. She found herself in the basement in a matter of seconds, slowing her pace to maintain her stealth. She had no idea what was going on, and now was not the time to rush in blind. Right before she rounded the corner that would take her into the main room, Cain was hit by the smell of blood. She crouched down and peered around the corner, only enough her sticking out to allow the use of a single eye. Five bodies lay spread out around the room, three looking as though someone had taken a machete to them. Jakkasu was pinned to the far wall of the room, two women cornering him and cutting off any route of escape.

The first was dressed in purple spandex that matched her hair of the same color. She had her hand on the terrorist's forehead, forcing him back and keeping him on the wall. She was talking to the man, but she was speaking too quietly for her to hear. The other was a teenager girl, positioned several feet away from the man, cutting off the exit. She was wearing tight black leather pants, a spandex looking black sports bra, and black combat boots. Her hair matched the same dark color as her clothes, and she was glaring at the man with a look of pure hatred. Jakkasu said something to the teen and she rushed at him, blades suddenly appearing in her hand. The other women shoved Jakkasu aside and placed herself in front of the terrorist, trying to hold her back. The terrorist lay stunned on the ground, unable to gather the wits necessary to try and flee. Reacting on instinct, Cass launched a pair of knock out darts at the women, hoping to take them out before her best lead ended up dead. To her surprise, the twin blades sprouted out of the girls other hand as well, batting the weapons aside without even looking at them. She then slowly cocked her head to glare at the vigilante.

"Alright Betsy, go poke around in his head a bit, I'm going to vent some steam."

"Don't kill this one Laura, we are going to get our heads chewed off by Storm as it is. Please don't make it any worse for us."

The feral teen gave shrug of indifference.

"Whatever."

Then she charged.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Ugh, why did Storm have to give us this lame ass assignment? We should be out with the rest of X-Force taking out all of the Purifier bases, not following this one guy around."

Betsy Braddock, more commonly known as Psylocke, just rolled her eyes at the feral teen sitting next to her.

"Because YOU had to get into an argument with your "Father" and threatened to slice his neck open. He was just checking up on you, he worries about you; though he tries VERY hard not to show it."

"He shouldn't bother worrying, if anything he should be worried about himself. I'M not the one who managed to lose their healing factor."

"All the more reason to try and patch this up when we get back. Logan's tough, but as hard as he is pushing himself right now, he is going to end up getting himself killed. We've been trying to get him to back off, let us pick up some of the slack, but he won't listen. There are very few people capable of getting through that thick skull of his, and you happen to be one of them."

"… Alright fine I'll talk to him when we get back."

"Good. Well that killed like, two whole minutes. I hate stakeout missions."

"I doubt it will be too much longer, his henchmen have already shown up."

The two X-Men were parked in a black van a couple blocks away from Jakkasu's hideout. The man had little chance of hiding from a master tracker and a mind reader. They had gotten the information they needed about his base less than an hour after they had arrived on the island nation, and now they were just waiting for their prey to walk into the trap. The X-Men had deployed around the globe to counter a massive anti-mutant attack by the Purifiers, Wolverine leading the charge. The regular teams were helping any mutant communities and organizations make sure that they were safe while X-Force went out and eliminated all of the threats. The girls were given on of the easiest of the assignments; track down Jakkasu, find out what his plans were, and retrieve the bomb he was building.

After another half hour of waiting, a group five cars arrived at the building. Doors slammed as all of the men climbed out, entering the building. Laura gave Betsy a brief nod before climbing out of the van and heading for a side entrance.

"Remember, Storm said to try and avoid killing anybody. She wants to make sure nobody can link any murders to use."

"Yeah yeah, I know. I don't see what the big deal is, we've killed plenty of Purifiers before, what difference would another dozen make?" Sighing, Psylocke took the lead, the psychic ninja disabling the security system around the door with her powers. A guard was sitting with his back to the door watching a small TV. He turned at the sound of the opened door only for Betsy to slide one of her psychic blades into his head, knocking him out. The two woman continued into the building, completely ignoring the man as he fell unconscious. Any other guard they ran into met the same fate, a quick stab into unconsciousness.

That pattern failed the second Laura saw Jakkasu. While she knew the name of the man they were after, she had yet to see his face. So to say she was surprised to see the face of one of the scientists responsible for torturing her as a child would be an understatement. Rage blew any rational thought she might have had out of her mind as she rushed forwards, her blades springing forth from her hands. Her target was on the opposite side of the room, six bodies in the room total. The first man had time to let out a bloodcurdling scream right before the adamantium blades sliced through his skin and his insides fell to the ground in a bloody puddle.

Psylocke sprinted into the fray behind Laura, knocking out two of the men with her psychic abilities while the feral teen carved up the other two. Luckily, Betsy was able to reach Jakkasu first and placed herself in between the terrorist and the enraged girl. Laura came to a halt, glaring at the young woman blocking her path.

"This is one of the bastards who made me. Get out of my way now, or I'll make you move."

"Calm down Laura, we need this guy right now. If you kill him then we lose a chance for me to poke around in his head to try and find his friends. Besides, if we keep him alive then we might be able to get some info on any other survivors from their program."

` "Laura glared at her friend in anger before retracting her claws and moving off to the side to cover the exit. Psylocke slammed Jakkasu up against the wall, pinning him in place.

"Now then, we have a few questions for you. You don't need to worry about answering them though, I'm just going to take quick tour of your brain. Sit back, relax, and in a few seconds we'll have all your deepest, darkest secrets." To her surprise, instead of cowering in fear, the man started laughing.

"You freaks won't have the chance. That weapon you're so concerned about? It's not just any bomb, it's a bio-bomb! It'll release a specialized virus targeting every mutant in its radius! The virus will spread around the continent in a matter of days, killing off thousands of you scum." He turned to Laura.

"Weapon X23, you'll survive the virus, but you'll be weakened and helpless. When all is said and done, our organization will take you back, rewire your mind, and recreate the weapon X project to produce thousands of perfect soldiers. We'll take over the entire world and rule it as kings!" Psylocke stared at the man for a moment before shaking her head.

"That actually sounded threatening for a moment, but then you ruined it with that stupid take over the world bit. You cookie cutter bad guys, no originality in any of you guys is there?" Ignoring her, the scientist turned towards Laura again.

"What do you think girl? You want to come back to the family? Though now, looking at that body of yours, I'm thinking that you could handle a bit more "adult" treatment. I bet if we could breed you, we'd have an army all the faster." Laura popped out the blades from one of her fists and went forward, intent on slicing the bastard's throat. Psylocke knocked him sideways and placed herself in the way once again, keeping X23 away from their best lead.

However, before Laura could make a move, her nose picked up another person in the room, quickly followed by the sound of a weapon being thrown. She popped out her second set of claws and casually batted the weapons out of the air. She turned to the other side of the room. There a young woman in a full body black and yellow armored bodysuit and a black mask that covered half her face.

"Alright Betsy, go poke around in his head a bit, I'm going to vent some steam."

"Don't kill this one Laura, we are going to get our heads chewed off by Storm as it is. Please don't make it any worse for us."

The feral teen gave shrug of indifference.

"Whatever."

Then she charged. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

There were times where Cass cursed her father for his relentless training, for his complete lack of compassion and his endless drive to make her better.

This was not one of those times.

The Bat had maneuvered up the stairs, refusing to take on the bladed girl in close quarters with her friend nearby. She had come out into a large room with standard office desks cover the majority of the floor. A perfect place to fight with enough room to maneuver, as well as hide as needed. The angry teen reached the room a second after her and dived forward, her arms both swinging in a deadly pattern. But no matter how she swung, Cassandra could see her every move before she made it. She casually swung out of the way of every single one of the cuts and stabs, a wide grin on her face the entire time. The young mutant's face was red with rage as she once again hit nothing but air.

As the metal claws flashed forwards for a straight stab, Cain moved in. Her right land moved like a surgical instrument, using extreme precision to land four different nerve strikes to the enrage teens arm, followed by a left open palm strike directly to her forehead. The blow was designed to jostle one's brain against their own skull, disorienting them. Another right shattered her nose, before a snap kick to the side of her head sent the mutant sprawling across the floor. Cass allowed a small smile to grace her face. Despite how formidable the girl looked, she was not a match in terms of skill. She was maybe a bit shy of Batman's level, but still not on par with her.

Black Bat walked over towards the girl a zip-tie restraint in hand. While she walked as though completely at ease, she was still on guard. A wounded animal was the most dangerous, and this girl attacked like one. If she was still conscious then she would most likely try something as Cassandra got close.

When she a few steps away, the feral made a loud cracking sound. Cass's eyes widened in shock as the mutant rose to her feet.

Of course, a healing factor. Why couldn't these thinks ever be simple?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Laura was ashamed of herself. She had allowed Jakkasu to work her into a rage, and as a result she was fighting sloppily. She wiped away some blood from her newly healed nose and eyed her opponent. The girl was VERY good, she might even be a match for Wolverine. The feral teen shook out her arm a few times, making sure that the damage of the pressure point attacks was all healed up. Once she was sure she was healed, X23 popped out all four of her wrist claws again with an audible _SNIKT_.

**BATTLE MUSIC- UNBREKABLE BY FIREFLIGHT**

Laura barreled forward, her blades flashing forward in a deadly pattern. The Black Bat seemed content to play defense for a moment, getting a feel for how her opponent fought as she avoided or blocked every bladed punch. X23 began adding kicks to her combos, trying to force the girl to slip up. But no matter what she did, the vigilante was able to counter. Their speed was relatively equal, neither were able to completely outmaneuver the other.

A mistimed block gave X23 a small opening, her opponents chest was left vulnerable. But as Laura went in for the stab, Cass grabbed her arm and pulled it sideways, followed by a brutal punch directly to the back of the elbow. X23 left out a cry of pain, a cry that was amplified when her shoulder was smashed out of its socket. Laura lashed out with her good arm, forcing the Black Bat to dodge backwards with a slight gash in the front of her costume. With a sharp snap, the living weapon's arm was like new again.

Cassandra's eyes narrowed before she charged in again, her body reading allowing her to predict how the mutant would counter and how she could get around it. A roundhouse kick sailed over her head as she crouched down, then launching her body like a spring, Cass smashed her fist directly into the mutants jaw. The force of teeth being slammed together was enough to completely shear off part of Laura's tongue, the severed flesh falling to the floor with a bloody splat. Before X23 had time to retaliate, the Bat jabbed her thumb straight into the mutant's eye. X23 lashed out wildly, missing her target as the former Batgirl was able to get behind her. Cain pulled a Taser from her utility belt and slammed it into the back of her opponent's neck. The girl's cry of pain was warbled by the blood in her mouth.

Still though, Laura refused to fall. She threw her head backwards and was rewarded with a satisfying CRACK as her the back of her head slammed into her opponents. She followed up with a quick rear kick that drove the vigilante several steps away, giving time for X23's healing factor to work its magic. Soon, the two girls were squaring off again.

This time it was Cass who charged in, her abilities once again allowing her to dodge around Laura's strike to deliver another brutal combination to the healing mutant. Instead of retreating, she pulled out a pair of batarangs from her belt. Cain reasoned that since her opponent's two main advantages were her claws and her ability to heal, taking the claws out of the equation would greatly improve her chances of success. When X23 went in for another stab, Cass brought up her own blades to catch them and try and snap them off. Instead, Laura's blades sliced through the batarangs like they were butter before biting into Cass's arm. Cass quickly drew her arms back, preventing the wound from being anything more than a superficial cut.

Little by little, the pace of the fight was beginning to change. Laura found herself grinning, as she landed a few more cuts on her opponent. While Cain had an incredible amount of stamina, she was still human, she was tiring.

. The added effects of gradual blood loss increased how fast she would tire, and eventually she would wear out to the point that Laura would take the win. Now, if only SHE knew that. Cass once jumped over a sweep kick and landed three rapid punches to Laura's face. When Laura went to counter strike, Cass blocked the blow and then grabbed the feral by the hair, using it as a handle to throw her across the room. A flash bang followed the mutant, detonating inches from her face. Blinded and with her ears ringing, Laura was battered with her ribs and head taking the majority of the blows. Just as her vision was starting to return, the Black Bat grabbed her head with both hands and pulled it down. A second later the vigilante's knee connected with the mutant's nose, a sprout of blood covering the ground between them. Cain's arms then wrapped around X23's throat, attempting to choke her out. She was forced to let go very quickly though as Laura's claws slashed towards her head. The vigilante moved out of the way, only to see that she had moved into the path of an incoming snap kick. Cass was barely able to lean out of the way, leaving less than a foot of distance between her stomach and the passing foot.

_SNIKT!_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Laura had finally decided to deploy the talons in her feet. She generally kept them in reserve for a stealth attack, and this instance was no exception. She had waited until the last moment, making sure that her opponent wouldn't have time to adjust to the unexpected appearance of another blade. Laura glanced at her talon, the blood was only half an inch up the blade; but the gash on the bat weirdo's belly was six inches long, she was gonna bleed out.

The vigilante was clutching both her arms over the wound in an attempt to staunch the flow of blood. Retracting her claw, Laura delivered a hard adamtium laced punch to the side of Cassandra's head, knocking her out instantly.

X23 turned to leave, but paused at the door, sniffing the air. She was smelling quite a bit of the other girl's blood. Glancing back she saw the wound sluggishly pouring blood onto the ground. Laura thought back, remembering Psylocke's plea to not kill anybody else tonight. With a sigh, the girl walked over and began dressing her opponents wound.

Ten minutes later Laura returned to the basement, just in time to witness the man sink to the floor, both drool and tears leaking from his face. Betsy turned towards her as she walked in, a look of disgust on her face.

"This man was so… vile! I couldn't help it, I was a bit rougher on his mind than I normally am, he's going to be needing some heavy duty psychiatric treatment later on, but at least he'll live." Laura looked down at the man with a complete lack of compassion.

"It's nothing he didn't deserve. I took care of that girl, even left her alive like you asked. Now let's get out of here before anybody else shows up, I think I've given my healing factor enough of a workout tonight." With a nod, the women walked out of the room together, bombs parts in tow and having acquired vital new intel on their enemies.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Cassandra Cain woke up with a start. Her body was sore and tired, the fight having taken a massive toll on her body. She glanced around the room, and seeing no sign of any hostiles, she slowly rose to her feet. To her surprise, the wound on her stomach had been expertly bandaged, the mutant girl had stopped to save her life before leaving. She slowly made her way downstairs. Like she had expected, the woman had already left the area, and she was in no condition to give investigate the building and surrounding area for any trace of where they had gone.

A sudden groan alerted her to another presence in the room. Lying with his head in a pool of his own drool, Jakkasu was sleeping peacefully. Despite her bad condition, Cassandra Cain allowed herself to smile. Even though she had lost the fight, she was still at least able to complete her mission. Slowly, she was able to move the terrorist towards her transport, leaving the building behind just as the sun rose over the buildings. Several days later, the police of Hong Kong were greeted by the sight of Jakkasu struggling against the bonds that tied him on the door to their station. That same day, a news report came out of a group of mutants foiling an attempt genocide with viral warfare.

Cassandra read over that report several times, wondering just what part her unknown opponent had played in the events. After a few minutes of pondering, Cain put those thoughts on the backburner, she wouldn't be able to figure anything like that out without getting in touch with the rest of the family back in the states. What she COULD do though was begin to try and figure out a way to take down an opponent with an extreme healing factor for future encounters. So she got to work.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

NOT TO BE CONTINUED!

Cassandra Cain is generally placed 3-5 in terms of most skilled martial artists in DC, but no matter how much skill you have, unless you are willing to use lethal moves you are not going to be able to overcome somebody with a healing factor as strong as that as X23. With morals on for both characters, more often than not Cass gets taken down by a lucky swing of the blade. She is quite easily the most skilled fighter in this equation, but being more skilled does not automatically equate to a win. Cass does not usually carry around any gear that packs enough of an oomph to lay the feral teen out cold. While not being the most skilled, Laura's durability, healing factor, and endurance would allow her to outlast her opponent and claim the win. If someone is capable of fighting with only one arm with minimal difficulty, and then just casually reattach said arm once the battle is concluded, then you know that they are a badass. If a wound that serious was not able to take her down, then it is unlikely that Cassandra could do anything that would give her a win without any prep.

So there you go folks, that's the last of the poll related fights I'm going to be doing for a while. If everything goes according to plan, you can expect at least 4 more chapters between now and Halloween. Now since I was so nice as to let you guys pick the fights you wanted to read for a few chapters, how about you reciprocate by throwing a few reviews my way. Please? Come on, four more chapters coming, don't those hours of work mean enough to you guys to send two minutes of time to give me some feedback? I want to get more reviews then my Beta does on his chapters. Help me put my Beta in his place.


	14. Extinction: Battle for Apokolips

**Superhuman Fight Club**

**Heroes and villains from every dimension have one thing in common. They thoroughly enjoy beating each other up. Whether they protect the streets in shadows, stand tall as a symbol of heroism, thrive off of stealing from the less fortunate, or let out a maniacal laugh as they slaughter the innocents, all fight for what they believe in. But the question is, in a fight with no rules, who is left standing? We will take various versions of these characters from any and all realms of media to see if we can find an answer. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Okay, are you all ready for this? This chapter is going to be the first of a three-chapter arc; **Extinction**. For today's story we present **Battle for Apocalypse**.

And yes, there will be lots of fighting.

Now, this is going to be the only breakdown for the next three chapters, which will be introducing the villains. The worlds of anime and comics are colliding as two of the most powerful and bloodthirsty lunatics in existence are going head to head in a battle to the death.

From DC comes a being who regularly hands Superman his ass, and the Justice League along with it! A creature considered a dark god, one so powerful that he was able to take over an entire planet where he rules with an iron fist! He spends is immortal life searching for the Anti-Life Equation to complete his goal of controlling and dominating all life in the universe.

Introducing: DARKSEID!

When he is not being nerfed for the purpose of making Superman look like a badass, Darkseid is one of the most powerful beings in the DC Universe. He is worshiped by some as the "God of Evil" and acts accordingly. In the New 52, he gained his powers by killing off the Old Gods and absorbing their powers.

He is responsible for wiping out entire species, crushing civilizations, and the destruction of planets. He has physical strength that is about equal to that of Superman. In terms of durability, he is nearly indestructible. It would take an immensely strong being to even make Darkseid even feel an attack.

On top of his physical capabilities, Darkseid has a wide array of powers: telepathy, mind control, telekinesis, matter manipulation, teleportation, and size alteration powers are his to command, but they pale in comparison to his most deadly power: The Omega Beam and the Omega Sanction.

The Omega Beam is an attack designed to completely disintegrate its target into nothingness. Darkseid fires energy beams from his eyes, and they follow the target wherever they may go. It is possible to survive this attack, but one must be on a similar level to Darkseid for that to matter. The Omega Sanction is a blast that sends the opponent into a series of torturous realities, tormenting its victim for all long as they live.

So who to put against Apokolips' ruler, a planet-busting monster bent on complete and total dominion of all free will in the universe?

How about a planet-busting monster bent on the complete _destruction _of the universe?

One of the most powerful villains to come out of Japan, and the only villain from Dragon Ball that ever managed to even remotely scare me, introducing, Kid Buu!

Formed purely out of dark magic by the sorcerer Bibidi, Majin Buu is even more indestructible than Darkseid; managing to reform after being blasted into ashes on at least three separate occasions.

He was only defeated with the use of the Genki Dama (Spirit Bomb), a massive ball of energy taken powered by the entire human race that is made specifically to destroy evil beings. In terms of damage output, Kid Buu seems to be about the same level as Super Saiyan 3 Goku. According to the Daizenshuu, the official Dragon Ball encyclopedia, Goku is capable of destroying 80 Earth sized planets in a single shot in this form. So while it cannot be said what his exact power output is, it is most likely somewhere in this ballpark.

Kid Buu is the smallest form that Majin Buu takes, and it is actually one of the weaker forms. However, he is by far the most deadly. Lacking the childishness of the first Buu, as well as the intellect of the later versions, Kid Buu relies on instinct, fighting and killing because he enjoys it. He will not stop to monologue like a normal villain, nor can he be bargained or reasoned with. Buu was created with the sole purpose of killing, and does so with a smile and a laugh.

Buu's powers are… strange. His body is sometimes solid, sometimes liquid. He once killed a man by turning liquid, forcing himself down the man's throat, and then expanding until he blew up. It has nearly unlimited regeneration abilities and enough strength to shatter a mountain with a casual punch. It can fire a pink ray from its head tendril, tentacle thing that can transform whoever it hits into whatever he wants, usually candy that he then eats. He can also use telekinesis, lifting an entire cities inhabitants into the air. It can mimic any attack it sees, learning signature attacks from the Z-Fighters including the Instant Transmission, the Big Bang Attack, and the Kamehameha. Nobody is truly sure just how fast the characters of Dragon Ball can move, however most will argue that they exceed the speed of light. Finally, Buu is capable of detaching parts of his body, using them for attacks, to create clones of himself, and even to capture and absorb his opponents, taking their strength and adding it to his own.

So it comes down to a battle between a God and a Genie, subtle domination vs overwhelming destruction. Who will manage to walk out of this battle alive? Here we go!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Prologue by S&amp;D_

I carefully peaked through my binoculars, gazing at the crimson figure, crouching by a tree.

'Target acquired."

"**Are you sure this is a good idea? After all, she hates us."**

"_To be fair, a lot of people hate us."_

"Of course it's a good idea. I came up with it."

"_Says the guy who decided to nuke the hulk… several times."_

"We got away."

"**Only after he ripped our head off… twice."**

"Okay, If you don't have anything positive to say, then I'm just gonna ignore you." With that I began to slowly sneak toward my target. As a stealthy and majestic jungle cat sneaks upon the humble bunny rabbit, I drew closer. It wasn't difficult, I'm a ninja, and she was completely focused on her meditation, or whatever kind of freaky voodoo she gets up to. Finally I was within twenty feet of her, still completely unnoticed, I knew that to get what I wanted I would need to use the greatest of charm and tact.

"HEY SCARLET!"

"GAH!" yelled Wanda Maximoff, otherwise known as the Scarlet Witch. As she jumped to her feet, the tree was enveloped in a scarlet aura and winked out of existence. She spun around, and saw me poking my head out from behind my hiding tree.

She looks really hot when she's angry.

"Deadpool!" she roared. Reaching out her hand towards me. Suddenly a grenade I had in my pants went off, sending me hurtling forward, sliding face first across the ground until I came to rest at her feet.

"_Owie"_

"**I repeat, this is a bad idea."**

Ignoring the useless freeloaders, I looked up at the furious witch. "What's up Scarlet?" I asked casually, or tried to, I think that grenade had blown up my nuts so my voice may have been a little high pitched.

Wanda stared at me for a second. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't morph you into a mouse and feed you to a snake."

"…Umm… I can't be a mouse… because our new boss man would not be happy about me intruding on his territory." This did not seem to qualify as a good reason. Her eyes narrowed further and she grit her teeth.

"What. Do. You. Want?"

"_Oh shit! Single word sentences! Abandon all jokes!"_

"Listen Wanda, I need a favor. I need you to give me X-ray vision." Wanda's rage was now mixed with several hints of confusion.

"X-Ray vision?" she asked, clearly curious despite the fact that she knew she probably didn't want to know.

"Yeah!" I replied, I knew I had to sell this really well, otherwise I would be hurt so bad I would long for the Hulk's gentle touch. "You see, if I had X-ray vision, I would be able to do a whole bunch of cool stuff: Look for buried treasure, help find hidden bombs, detect and stop terrorists… It would make me a great force of justice and protection for this fine country!"

Wanda stared at me for a few moments, then the confusion cleared off of her face.

"You just want to be able to see through peoples clothing, don't you?" she deadpanned.

"**Busted."**

"Uh…Noooooooooo." I tried to make puppy dog eyes, but it wasn't working through my mask. She was turning away, sending a clear signal that she was done with me and wanted me gone. I reached out and grabbed her cape. But I pulled too hard and ripped it, sending her tumbling to the ground. While lying there she turned to look at me.

She was looking really hot again, and her eyes just seemed to scream 'you're a dead man.'

"You're finished, Deadpool." She whipped out her deadly fingers of doom and pointed them right at me, "Get lost!" I felt myself pulled off the ground into the sky. I also felt a wind whipping around me as some kind of portal appeared and sucked me in, and then closed behind me.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

After about twenty minutes of hurtling through a void I crashed into a building. Well, through the roof actually. It was painful, but not too bad considering I had probably just been thrown into a different dimension… or something. Not completely sure on that; the whole magic thing is pretty freaky-deaky.

Slowly, I pulled myself out of the rather comically Deadpool shaped hole I had left in the floor. Looking around I saw a bunch of men and women dressed in white robes. They were all staring at me in dread.

"**I think we're in a church." **I knew what that meant.

"Hello priestesses" I greeted. Grinning visibly through my mask. This was apparently the wrong thing to do as everyone suddenly ran away screaming.

"_Rude."_

"You said it." I muttered. Looking around, it was, in fact, a church, or a shrine, or some kind of religious thingy. This wasn't important, as my eyes were drawn towards an alter in the middle of the room, sunlight coming through the hole in the ceiling was causing something to glitter.

"Oooooh, Shiny!" I ran forward and picked up the shiny thing: it was a ball.

An orange ball.

An orange shiny ball.

An orange shiny ball that had a three red stars on it. I stared at it. It felt familiar. Like something I had known before, even though I'd never seen it before in my life. It spoke to me, and it said:

Plot device.

I grinned. I suddenly knew where I was, and what I was going to do next.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

I had done it. It had taken me: eight months, three arms, several knives, twenty-three chimi-changas, a gun, one wacky night in Vegas, lots of blood, and more than a few tears. But I had done it; I had gathered the seven shiny orange balls from around the world. As I placed them together. I spoke the words some green alien guy had told me to.

"Eternal Dragon, by you name, I summon you forth: Shenron!"

Storm clouds gathered and in a flash of light a giant green dragon appeared in the sky.

"**I HAVE COME. WHAT IS YOUR WISH?"**

I hesitated; I had spent all this time gathering these magic balls that apparently grant wishes without actually thinking what it was I was going to wish for. You see there were only three things that really drove me in life: money, women, and fighting things. Well I had already gotten two of those. I was being paid a royalty by Sturm and Drang for all the stuff he had happening to me, I had already met this fabulous blonde who was obsessed with guns in this world, so that just left…

"I WISH FOR THE MOST EPIC FIGHT EVER!"

The Dragon's eyes glinted red for a moment. "It is done." He announced, and disappeared. I disappeared too, the world going dark, as I was once again hurtling through the void.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Shenron reached through the cosmos. Extending his will across the boundaries of dimensions, he grasped a pink blob that had been lying dormant in a soul-cleansing machine for years.

Perhaps he should not have touched it. But that is not who Shenron was. He granted the wish of those who summoned him, regardless of the folly.

The power the human known as Uub had been granted was copied and placed into the blob. Slowly, the blob became animated, life returning to it for the first time in four years. Then the great dragon pulled. Dragging, the creature from his own realm, and pushing him far across space and through bounds of reality, to a plane of existence where nobody knew to fear the name Majin Buu.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The blob floated in the midst of space. Slow squirming and reforming as it began to take shape. A single red eye opened on its side, and the squirming ground to a halt. Then in a burst of rapid expansion it formed into a pink humanoid.

Buu blinked, and looked down at himself. He was alive. He concentrated and a pair of white pants appeared on his legs, as well as his monogrammed belt. Personal need taken care of he looked up and around. His eyes immediately drawn to a planet.

It was a big planet. Massive red plumes of heat and energy surged upwards from the giant factories that covered the surface. A ruined world that had managed to destroy itself.

Well that was no fun; he should lend them his master touch. Show them what real ruin looked like.

As he descended upon the world, he saw that he was not going go unwelcomed. The armed forces of planet Apokolips detected had detected the magically distortion above their planet and took to the skies. The green and gold beings called parademons were notorious for wiping out entire worlds while serving their master. Buu was notorious for doing the same thing for fun.

The parademons attacked first, their weapons unleashing a barrage of golden beams towards the puny intruder who dared to approach the planet of the Dark God. Buu simply laughed and kept flying, the attacks simply passing through his body as harmlessly as a bullet through water.

Charging energy into his forehead tentacle, a single pink blast burst forth from the tip, striking the closest Parademon. The energy then leapt from one parademon to the next, rapidly enveloping the entire force. In a flash they all vanished, leaving nothing but a floating collection chocolate, cookies, and jawbreakers.

The djinn followed up, by inhaling with the force of a tornado, sucking up every last bit of food and chomping on them to his heart's content. The Parademons were not killed by the initial transformation, and instead were forced to experience pure terror as they were chewed up and eaten. The monster burped contently before flying off to look for more victims.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Darkseid, ruler of Apokolips, watched with growing fury as the screens continued to display the widespread destruction of his domain. This demented, gummy creature was slaughtering his army. His parademons swarmed the creature, only to be eaten en mass. The various monstrous creatures his scientists created were flattened in seconds. The various worker slaves on the planet would be terrorized briefly for the creature's amusement before ending up as food. It was appearing more and more likely that he would have to step in himself to confront this alien threat. With a snarl, he turned towards his son Kalibak.

"Tell Granny Goodness to deploy the Furies, I want this creature captured or killed. Have Desaad prep his lab, we have never encountered a being like this before. We should learn what we can of it before disposing of the body." The shaggy, ape-like creature nodded before lumbering out of the room.

The ruler of Apocalypse turned back towards the screen just in time to witness several of his warships being knocked out of the sky in a series of bright pink explosions. With a scowl, he turned his back on the destruction and started towards the exit. He did not come as far as he had by taking chances, this creature might well defeat the Furies. He would be wise to personally oversee the fight.

As he began making his way towards the conflict zone he made a decision. If the Furies fell, it would be time to make his presence be felt.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Only three members of the Furies were present on the planet when Kid Buu launched his attack. The rest had been deployed on missions to further Darkseid's agenda across the galaxy. The women were unconcerned though, they were Darkseid's elite, feared across many worlds as harbingers of his wrath. Besides, how difficult could it possibly be too kill some living pink goo?

Lashina, the leader of the furies, readied her twin whips, priming their electrical shocks to deliver the most painful and lasting of kills. Her enhanced physical capabilities would easily overpower this invader.

She turned to her two companions, Stompa, a woman capable of causing earthquakes just by stomping her feet, and Mad Harriet, a crazed woman armed with claws capable of slicing through steel like it was butter. Lashina nodded to the pair, signaling it was time to kill. They moved out from the barracks to intercept the invader.

The trio barely made it through the door when a warship crash-landed in front of them, nearly flattening Lashina. Two other ships crashed into a nearby factory, the resulting explosions indicating that there was no chance of any survivors. The furies glanced upward to see the creature was standing atop a ruined building, laughing his head off at the carnage he was responsible for. Suddenly his laughter cut off, and it made a strange groaning noise.

"Hhhnn…" the blob disappeared in a flash, reappearing in front of the trio and staring at them with a creepy grin. All three jumped back, startled at the sudden movement. Stompa recovered first, launching herself forward and delivering a kick that would break the Richter scale. The force of the blow splattered the genie across the landscape, destroying his body entirely.

"Ha! That weakling was the one causing all this trouble? It appears Granny Goodness and Desaad need to increase the level of troops they create for Lord Darkseid, their poor quality is the only reason that the Parademons could have lost so badly." Harriet began to mumble to herself, disappointed about not being able to stab anything. Lashina walked over towards a piece of the goo, examining it. It had seemed far too simple, for all the trouble it caused.

Hovering above his servants, Darkseid agreed, watching the pink goo through narrowed eyes. The abilities that the creature displayed gave no indication that it should be taken out so easily. He doubted it was over.

The dark god didn't have to wait long. Maniacal laughter filled the air as the goo started to wriggle, across the battlefield, the various pile of slime began to bulge. The laughter multiplied as the pieces began to form into duplicates of the creature. In seconds, there were hundreds of them, pointing and laughing at the three woman who had gone to fight them.

Harriet let out a delighted yell as she charged forwards, her claws slashing wildly through as she dashed through the Buu's ranks. When she reached the far side of their pack, she turned to observe her handy work. Her smile was met with an energy blast to the face, splattering her brain and skull against the ground. The headless body stood for a moment before collapsing like a puppet with its strings cut.

Stompa roared with anger and charged forward, intent on vengeance. A quick blast of pink energy turned the berserker woman into an egg, which was promptly stomped on. Lashina had watched with growing horror as her two colleagues were cut down, realizing just how badly they were outclassed. As one, the army of evil djinns turned towards her, and evil smile on their faces. Lashina swung her whips towards the two closest of the Buus, cleaving them both in half in a burst of electricity. Before she had time to attack any others, all of the Buu's launched beams of yellow energy. Dozens of blasts collided with her body, disintegrating the warrior entirely. By the time the energy volley was finished there was no trace of her left behind.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**BATTLE MUSIC- DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS, DISTURBED**

Darkseid had seen enough. The creature's regeneration abilities were remarkable, once he had killed it and turned it over to Desaad, he would see if the scientist could incorporate those abilities into the Furies when he brought them back to life. However, he only needed one…

The burst from the Omega Beams took the Buus by surprise. The red lasers ricocheted between them, erasing them from existence. The sole survivor of the attack blinked in shock as the many pieces of him were vaporized, unable to reform. He glared upward towards the source of the beams, a stone faced man covered in dark blue armor. The two monsters stared at each other for a moment before Darkseid descended to land directly in front of the magical being.

"I am Darkseid, ruler of this planet. What manner of creature are you to attack my planet and think you can get away without consequence?"

"Me Buu… kill you!" Buu leapt up to punch the Dark Gods face, grinning manically. Darkseid brought his own fist up to meet the genies'; the impact leaving a massive crater and blowing off Buu's arm.

. The evil blob of jelly quickly reformed the limb and teleported behind his target, smashing his opponent with all sorts of punches and kicks. Darkseid turned to face the genie, not even feeling the blows. Watching the creature punch his chest for a few seconds. He lifted his hand and backhanded Buu's face. Buu's body crumpled in on itself, his head resting snuggly between his kneecaps.

With a pop, he was back to normal. Whipping his arm around, Buu launched an energy blast into the God's face, making him stumble backwards. Darkseid snarled. The cretin's energy blasts were far more powerful than its physical strength. To actually make him FEEL a blow…

Annoying insect.

Darkseid lashed out, the blow knocking the genie's head right off of the body. The head flew away, laughter fading into the distance. The main body stilled, reaching up it patted its hand around the stump of its neck, finding what it was looking for it reached into the stump. With a tug, another head popped out of the body, this one laughing just as much as the last. The head tentacle writhed, whipping forward to fire a pink beam. The beam hit Darkseid dead on.

And bounced back, straight back into the startled genie. Buu remained as a gumball for all of half a second before he shifted back, looking far less happy.

"So transforming your body is a useless endeavor. I wonder how well your mind will hold up." Darkseid commented, then launched a mental attack, intent on breaking Buu's mind to subdue him

Darkseid's mental powers are vast; he had conquered the minds of countless lesser insects before. But Buu's mind was unlike anything he had ever seen before. There was little that could be called a mind. All that could be found was a gaping pit of hunger, insanity, and thirst for destruction. There was no reason why he wanted these things, just desire. There was nothing to control, not a single weakness or flaw that could be exploited to incapacitate the wretched little creature. Darkseid found himself out of options, none of his attacks could contain the monster, and if he just vaporized it he wouldn't be able to study it. Though if it kept blowing up his planet, he would have no choice but to finish it off.

"KAAAAAAAAAAAA!  
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  
HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!  
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  
HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Darkseid was wrenched out of Buu's mind by the massive beam of blue light. Throwing himself aside on instinct alone, he barely dodged the attack. He glanced behind him to see the beam strike one of his slave population centers, disintegrating the entire place in an instant.

That tears it. Time to disintegrate the little freak.

"I had hoped to keep you alive in order to bolster my forces, but maybe I'll be just lucky enough for there to be a few small pieces of you left over when I'm done!"

The Omega Beams shot forth from Darkseid's eyes, racing towards Buu at an incredible speed. Buu leapt sideways to avoid the beam, clearly remembering what it had done to his copies. The mad creature contorted his body like a liquid as beam chased after him. He kept shifting every way possible as he struggled to make sure no part of his body was exposed to the attack.

Buu teleported, jumping out of the path of the beam and to reappear beside Darkseid. Before the genie had time to attack, the beam reversed directions and headed towards him once again. Buu took to the sky, firing off energy blasts in an attempt to block the lasers. Still the beams continued plowing through the energy attacks, intent on destroying Buu.

Right before the blast finally caught up, Buu desperately ripped his arm from his body and threw it aside. The Omega Beam impacted, using up all its energy to disintegrate the mad pile of goo. But in seconds, the discarded arm had reformed into another Buu.

Darkseid groaned to himself, the cretin had survived another one of his attacks. Buu had landed on a broken warship and was pounding his chest like and ape and yelling into the air.

Darkseid was starting to get really pissed off.

The god stomped forwards, planning on crushing the nuisance with his bare hands. He only got halfway before he felt a couple pairs of hands grabbing onto his back. Looking over his shoulder, there were two more Buus latched onto him. Before he had a chance to retaliate, the pair released their full power into narrow beams of energy directly into his eyes.

The Dark God roared with pain as the powerful energy blasts slammed into one of the more vulnerable parts of his body. Another burst of Omega energy freed him for the creatures latching on, then he turned towards where he could still hear the original laughing.

"ENOUGH! Prepare to experience your worst nightmare!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Darkseid's Omega Sanction slammed into Kid Buu before the djinn even realized it was being yelled at.

In a flash of red light the world around him disappeared. To be replaced with…

Nothing.

An empty world, no, an empty universe, there was absolutely nothing around him. Buu pushed his senses to the maximum, but couldn't feel any energy at all. He was all alone, surrounded by nothing but blackness. There were no people too kill anywhere, no fun to be had. There wasn't even food to eat.

No food to eat….

No food to eat!

NO FOOD!

Unleashing every single bit of power he had, Majin Buu began to scream.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Darkseid panted to himself, waiting for his eyes to heal. It would only take a few moments, even when the Justice League had stabbed his eyes out, they had returned to normal shortly after he had been forced back to his home planet. The pain wasn't unbearable.

But the humiliation! To think he had been pushed so far by an inferior being yet again! He was a God! A living deity with the incomparable power of the Omega Effect at his command! Yet some puny pink goo had actually managed to injury him!

The ruler of Apocalypse was disgusted with himself. He needed to make sure nothing like this ever happened again. He needed to become more powerful, so powerful that nobody in existence could challenge him!

Maybe if he attacked Earth again. He could find a way to use the Kryptonian or the Amazon, absorb their strength into his own… but no, it would not be wise to attack that place again so soon. It had not worked the first time so he would need a new plan. He could not allow himself to appear weak before his people; doing so could give someone ideas that he was vulnerable. Which would not be tolerated.

Darkseid slowly turned and left, his feet leaving the ground as he slowly glided back towards his palace. Calming himself with the thought of his ultimate goal: The Anti-Life Equation. Everything came back to it, his desire for power, for control, for his vision of a perfect universe. He needed to find it, once he did he would be able to turn off the free will of every sapient being in the universe, and finally bring for the order he so longed for.

The Dark God looked over the damage the battle had cause as he slowly flew back to his palace. Over a dozen war factories destroyed, thousands of Parademons and workers slaughtered, and three Furies needing either resurrection or replacement. He would allow Granny Goodness a short time to search for new candidates, if she failed to find any, the old trio would have to come back. His armies were demoralized now, two defeats in a row, first from the Justice League and now from the genie.

Perhaps another attack on Earth was warranted after all, as a way to restore moral. This time though, he would bring all of his forces to bare, and make sure the hero population of the planet was completely destroyed. The Kryptonian though, he would instead be taken and experimented on. If his mind could be bent, he would make an extraordinary asset for his army.

A slight tremor in the air made Darkseid pause. His eyes now mostly healed, he turned to look behind him, back towards the sight of the battle. The air shivered once more, coming back from that direction. The Dark God stared at the spot the creature had vanished.

A distortion in the air was now visible, and small sparks of power seemed to flying around it. Darkseid narrowed his eyes, considering what could have caused it. Was it some strange side effect of mixing the Omega Effect with the creature's magic? Residual power left over from the Omega Sanction?

Then the planet began to shake.

A tremendous wave a power came from the distortion, so much power that the planet itself was struggling to handle it. The sparks had changed into massive bolts of pink lightning, huge bolts of power that shattered everything they came in contact with. The blasts arced off in every direction, destroying buildings, and blowing holes in the ground. The winds picked up to hurricane force, pushed away from the area with great force. Darkseid just watched, unsure whether his Omega Effect would help or hurt the situation. The earthquakes spread, buildings all around Apokolips were collapsing, destroying valuable resources and workers. Darkseids face contorted into a scowl, his rage at both the destruction and his inability to stop it growing every second.

A faint sound started from the center of the whirling storm of destruction, like a distant scream. Little by little it grew louder, from a whisper to a dull roar, to a scream capable of shattering glass. Darkseid's eyes narrowed. Could it be…? The air cracked.

In a burst of light, a hole was ripped through dimensions; the enraged face of Buu could be seen, glaring outward. The child-sized djinn's eyes were alight with pure madness and hatred. Rapidly, he began to force himself through the crack his body flowing and distorting until he stood outside the crack.

The holes across his arms and chest created a gigantic cloud of steam, one that eventually spread out so far that the Dark God was covered. Thus, the battle resumed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Buu was excited. He rarely got a challenge like this, it had only every happened twice before.

It was time for some real fun.

Lifting one hand to the sky, the genie let loose an attack that it had only fired off one time in the past, way back on earth. In a matter of seconds, millions of tiny pink ki blasts flew up into the air. The blasts flew off around the globe, one for each living member of the population. The blasts were all incredibly weak, nowhere near powerful enough to kill any true threat. But that was not the intent.

Less than 30 seconds after Buu had returned from where he had been banished, his extinction attack punched through the hearts of every worker, every slave, and every Parademon on the planet. The more powerful beings capable of either dodging or surviving the attack looked around in shock as the planets population dropped to only a few dozen before they could react.

Now the big guy looked really mad.

"RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Darkseid launched himself forwards, crashing into the djinn and pummeling it into a fine mist. Every time Buu tried to reform, he was smashed apart once more, thrown in every direction.

Eventually Buu had enough and tried to force himself down the Dark God's throat. But before he could make any real progress, Darkseid's Omega Effect forced him out and right into the path of another fist. Buu finally managed to reform, dodging a haymaker by squishing his head down into his chest. Then Buu launched his head tentacle, wrapping it around Darkseid's throat in an attempt to choke him out.

Instead Darkseid grabbed the head tentacle, ripped it off, threw it to the side, and blasted the djinn in half. Instead of reforming, Buu regenerated into two separate entities, launching a blindingly fast counter attack with a combination of energy blasts and high speed punches.

As fast as Darkseid was, Majin Buu is faster still. Darkseid soon found himself on the defensive, attempting to block the energy attacks that seemed to be crashing into him from eight different directions at once. Still though, they lacked the power of the charged beam that had been fired earlier, and while painful, they were not enough to bring down a God.

It took him a while, but he was eventually able to get his hands on the two laughing lunatics. With a cry he slammed them back together in a massive thunder clap, splattering them in pieces. Like every time before, the pink blobs formed together into a mist that took the shape of the tiny genie. He was laughing his head off, amused by this new game. Darkseid snarled, preparing to fire up his Omega Beams. Before he could fire though, the djinn teleported.

Lacking a target, the Dark God hurriedly looked around, turning behind him just in time to see another blue beam approaching. He threw himself to the ground to avoid it, barely dodging the attack. A second later a foot broke through from underground, slamming into Darkseid's stomach. Darkseid was lifted several feet off the ground, coughing from the force of the blow. Before he had the chance to recover Buu teleported above him, slamming him back into the ground.

The djinn launched himself into the sky, laughing the whole way. When he got high enough, he aimed downwards and let loose a volley of hundreds of explosive blasts. Before they even all landed, the djinn teleported back down to try and pummel the stone faced ruler while he was still distracted by the light show. Darkseid returned fire with the Omega beams, but Buu had already learned how to deal with that technique. He detached several parts of his body to avoid the blast and then flew in again.

Darkseid back fisted the genie way and charged in, machine gunning his fists so fast a normal man wouldn't even be able to see the blows connect. Buu was reduced to little more than dust before reforming once more. The genie fired a transformation blast from its tentacle, laughing with glee as it slammed into Darkseid. Instead of transforming though, Darkseid shrugged off the blast and retaliated with an Omega Beam.

Buu was far too close this time, he didn't have time to react. Instead the beam slammed into him, completely disintegrating him. Not a trace of the creature left had survived the blast. Darkseid watched the spot where the creature had disappeared, looking for any sign that it had survived. He focused all his senses in front of him, determined to end any reformation with an Omega Beam

Then something splattered against the back of his head.

Darkseid was completely caught off guard when his body was engulfed in a wave of pink slime. The slime wrapped around him, paralyzing him, preventing him from using any of his power. With a flash of horror he realized he could feel himself being absorbed. Darkseid desperately tried to figure out what had happened.

The tentacle!

The damned head tentacle! He had thrown it away without even thinking! There he was nothing he could do though. His body was numbing, his powers fading. There was nothing he could do.

Within seconds, the Dark God was gone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Buu sighed in delight. Absorbing that guy felt wonderful.

Buu froze, his body was tingling. Rapidly his mind began to fill with thoughts and memories. His body began to brim with power. What was this?

The mad genie's mind and body began to transform.

Buu tripled in size, muscles bulging all over his body. His skin rippled as Darkseids armor sprouted out of his body. His head tentacle doubled in length and thickness.

But more distinctly, his eyes began to change. The wild madness in them deepened and refined itself, forming into a look of cold calculated insanity.

Darkseid's considerable intellect sharpened his mind. Told him things. It told him of a place. Another earth, full of powerful heroes for him to do battle with. The evil djinn God smiled, he was about to have the most fun he likely would ever experience in his entire existence. Plans began to shape in his mind, plans that even the old Darkseid would have considered insane. But now, this new Buu, he would take these plans and make them real. And all of reality would suffer for it.

Buu laughed, a mad laugh, made all the worse by the sheer intellect behind it. The dark djinn took flight, casually throwing a small ball of dark purple energy over his shoulder. Then the monster vanished, warping through space to his next playground.

Behind him, Apokolips vanished in a giant flash of light. There were no survivors. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Well that is the start of a great battle that will rage across the universe. And surprise surprise, its Deadpool's fault.

This fight was a little tough. I feel that while Buu has superior speed and actual power output for his attacks, one shot from the Omega Beam should kill him.

However, Darkseid would not go in for the kill that quickly. He doesn't want to destroy everything he wants to control it. So he would move to capture Buu rather than destroy him instantly. Also, the newest version of Darkseid seen in the New 52 so far lacks the power of his counterparts, so there is no guarantee that the attack would be a success to begin with.

That would be his mistake. Kid Buu is uneducated, but he is far from an idiot, once he saw how dangerous the Omega Beam was he would figure out a way to counter it. After that, Darkseid just couldn't keep up with the freaky gooball's powers.

See you all later. You're welcome to review, but keep in mind, flames will be fed to my Beta.


	15. Extinction: Fall of Earth

**Superhuman Fight Club**

**Heroes and villains from every dimension have one thing in common. They thoroughly enjoy beating each other up. Whether they protect the streets in shadows, stand tall as a symbol of heroism, thrive off of stealing from the less fortunate, or let out a maniacal laugh as they slaughter the innocents, all fight for what they believe in. But the question is, in a fight with no rules, who is left standing? We will take various versions of these characters from any and all realms of media to see if we can find an answer. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**WARNING- THIS CHAPTER SHOULD MAYBE BE CONSIDERED RATED M, READER DISCREETION IS ADVISED.**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

EXTINCTION-PART 2: FALL OF EARTH

Alright everybody welcome back! Before we start, I just watched a good chunk of season 3 of the Ultimate Spider-Man show. I still don't like it, but DANG Nova got a power up. If he fought at full power like he did in the new season back when I wrote the chapter, I suspect I would have had to write a different ending to Teen Titan vs Young Avenger. He blew up a space ship about 3 times the size of the helicarrier in about 10 seconds! Finally they showcase what that guy can do when he isn't jobbering.

Last time I promised no intro, and I'm keeping that promise. Instead, here's a quick recap of what happened last time. Deadpool, being the moron that he is, resurrected Kid Buu and dropped him into a mixed DC/Marvel Universe. He ended up on Apokolips where he killed lots of people and blew lots of things up. Darkseid confronted him and tried to capture him to study. After a long battle, Buu managed to defeat Darkseid by absorbing him. Then the newly intelligent and extremely powerful Super Buu blew up the planet and flew off into space to begin whatever insane, evil plan he dreamed up.

Now that sounds fun, what could possibly go wrong with two of the most evil fiction characters in existence sharing a body? A quick heads up here, there will be character death in this chapter. Some of your favorite super heroes from both universes are going to end up dying horribly in the near future. Just in case you aren't really into that kind of thing. So, off you go angry fanboys and girls, head out and flame me some other time!

They all gone? No probably not, but let's start anyways. Time to see who's first on the chopping block, here we go!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Saturn. One of the largest planets in Earth's solar system, named after the Roman King of the Titans. One of the moons was even named after this fact, called Titan. Unknown to most of humanity though, is that this moon is home to a true Titan, Thanos.

The Mad Titan sat on his throne, staring at the Infinity Gauntlet on his arm. Slowly, reverently, he reached to it and slid the last Infinity Gem into place.

After years of searching, he had finally restored his ultimate weapon, the glorious key to omnipotence. He could finally defeat the champions of the Earth and continue his quest to obtain absolute power. He would make an offering of death so great that he would finally win the hand of Lady Death. A predatory smile graced the Titans lips; there was absolutely nothing and no one that could stop him now.

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT

Thanos glanced around at the unexpected sound, standing up and calmly bringing the Infinity Gauntlet up to bare.

A dark purple beam shot out of the shadows, striking his arm. The Eternal let out a cry of pain as his arm flew from his body, skidding across the ground and taking the gauntlet with it. Thanos clutched the bleeding stump, trying to staunch the blood loss. A figure appeared before him, a pink creature clothed in black armor.

"WHO DARES TO ATTACK ME? I AM –UUUGGHHH!"

Thanos jolted, staring uncomprehendingly down at the fist buried in his stomach. He attempted to speak again, but all that came out of his mouth was a dribble of blood. His eyes bulged with pain as the fist slowly started twisting within his body. The pink creature smiled and waved his finger at the Titan.

"No need to get all angry. You should be proud, you have brought together a weapon that shall serve the most powerful being in the galaxy. As a reward, you shall be the first being in this solar system to die by my hand. Don't worry, all those heroes of Earth that have plagued you for so long, they'll be joining you in the afterlife quite soon."

Thanos let out a low growl, bringing both of his hands up around his killer's throat.

"Still some fight left in you?" the creature chuckled. "How interesting. I might be better off absorbing you … No… No. I said I would kill you and I shall keep my promise. Here, I shall finish you with an old favorite of mine, BIG BANG!"

Thanos' torso disintegrated in a flash of blue light. The legs remained standing for a moment before falling backwards onto his former throne.

As the world faded around him, Thanos felt a hand upon his shoulder. He turned and saw that Lady Death had found him. She led him away, easing the mad titan to his final resting place.

Thanos sighed; he had finally joined with the mistress of death. It was with a feeling of contentment that Thanos left the mortal plain.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Majin Buu stepped over the body, turning towards his reason for coming to this barren place: the Infinity Gauntlet.

A marvelous thing, the gauntlet, a device capable of bending reality itself to his will. The djinn stretched his arm down to the floor, inserting it inside the gauntlet. His arm expanded, filling the gem-studded glove now secured firmly to his arm. The mad grin on his face grew as the power of the device surged through his body, flooding his mind with whispers of power he had never even dreamed.

Buu frowned; the gauntlet was everything he had hoped. But it was dangerous, if someone somehow managed to get ahold of it and turn it on Buu.

"How can I prevent this from ever being used on me in the future?" He mused; he had claimed great powers before, only to lose them. He would not allow it to happen again.

Buu poured through Darkseid's mind, searching for any thoughts or ideas that would ensure his complete control of the weapon. But no matter where he searched, the God's mind focused solely on the Anti-Life Equation. That wouldn't be of use, not with…

Or maybe it would.

Buu brought the gems to bear, focusing every drop of their power into bending reality around him. A black mist began to slowly form around the gauntlet, crackling with power. The mist wrapped around the glove, solidifying on it. When the fusion was complete the gauntlet's golden surface was covered with the black symbols of a long extinct race. The djinn smiled at the new weapon he had created, one far more powerful than either of the parts used to make it.

The Anti-Life Equation and the Infinity Gauntlet were now one.

Darkseid's mind was finally sated, finally having achieved its goal. Buu then felt the Dark God's mind switch tracks, now that he had what he always wanted, he could go after the second of his desires. Revenge on the Kryptonian who had dared to challenge and defeat him.

First stop: Earth.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Flash took another bite of his burger, looking over Batman's shoulder. He got the distinct feeling his presence was annoying the Dark Knight. But who cares, he annoys lots of people.

"Seriously though" said Flash through his mouthful of burger, "How is it not a good thing the Darkseid's planet blew up?"

"It's not the fact that the planet blew up Flash, the problem is we don't know who did it. Whoever did it must have been very strong if they defeated Darkseid. We need to find out whether or not they could be a threat to us. What if Darkseid escaped? He might come here, hoping to control a new planet."

"Bats, you really need to chill out. I mean, chances are a Parademon or something was playing around with the Hellspores and blew everything up. Besides, without his army is Darkseid really that much of a threat? Remember that time I stabbed him in the eye with a crowbar? If I tried the same thing on Superman, I'd break the crowbar. Now can we get back to work already? The Watchtower is starting to feel pretty empty with just the two of us, I want to finish the repairs so the rest of the League can come back up. I miss being able to mock the Avengers for not having as cool of an HQ as us."

The Dark Knight ignored the scarlet speedster and pulled out his League Communicator.

"Batman to Superman, have you and Diana been able to dig up any information on what happened in your fortress?" He waited for several seconds before the Man of Steel's sheepish voice sounded back to him.

"Umm, well we looked around for a little bit, but then we got kind of… distracted." Flash wolf-whistled, Batman ignored him.

"I know that you and Diana are enjoying being a new couple, but do you think you could not fool around while working. We don't want to be caught off guard by some threat.

"Oh come on Bruce, we have more than 80% of all of our bad guys locked up, and the rest are on the run. Plus after the last five failed invasion attempts on the Earth, it seems that our planet has built up a bit of a reputation. I'd bet money that nobody is going to be bothering us for a good while."

"You're tempting the gods talking like that Clark. We should never let our guard down, the second we do is when we fail and the Earth falls."

"Yeah… so how is everything going up there?" Are the repairs and updates almost complete?"

Flash snorted, "What, did you and Princess run out of beds to shatter down there and want to try the ones up here now?"

"Ha ha, I'm so amused. Do you need any help up there or not?"

"We're almost finished, we'll contact you when – wait, hold on a second."

"What is it?"

"Something just appeared on the long range scanners. Small incoming object, human sized. Current trajectory will impact the southern tip of Africa in about an hour."

"Do you need me to do anything about it?"

"Negative, we'll monitor the objects progress, and if I think it could be a problem I'll take it down with the Watchtowers weapons system."

"Hey uh, Bats?" said Flash, "Is it just me or is that thing moving faster?" Batman turned back to the screen immediately, making new calculations based on the computers streams of data.

"Object's speed is increasing exponentially, time of arrival now estimated at under a minute. I'm warming up the weapons and the shields. Clark, you might want to get up here."

"I'll be there in thirty seconds, hang tight." Superman quickly called out to Diana, telling her to prepare for a possible emergency. Then he took off, shooting off into the sky straight towards the Watchtower.

"Clark, the object has accelerated again, and its changed course, it's heading straight for us. Shields are online, and we have escape pods ready should we need them. Head towards the object, see if you ca-"

THOOM!

Superman had caught sight of the object just in time to see a massive pink blast heading straight towards the Watchtower. Before he could even think of trying to block the attack, the beam slammed into the Justice League's space station, completely incinerating it.

The Flash and Batman vanished with the satellite, neither able to avoid the blast. Two of the planet's greatest heroes were gone, destroyed before the battle could even begin.

They were considered to be lucky.

Superman's was frozen in shock, staring in horror at the demise of his friends. He was torn from his stupor, when the object changed direction, slamming into him. The Man of Steel fell like a meteor, blazing a fiery trail straight down towards the surface until he landed with a splash in the middle of the Atlantic. He emerged a few seconds later, unhurt and with murderous rage on his face. The Kryptonian looked upwards, searching the sky for any sign of his foe.

In a flash the figure reappeared, teleporting directly in front of the superhero. His fist closed around the Man of Steel's throat well before he had a chance to react.

"Hello Krpytonian, remember me?" Superman glared at the arrogant, pink face before him, unable to speak.

"I suppose you don't, though to be fair that should be expected. You've only actually met what is now a part of me. My name is Majin Buu. You remember Darkseid? Well, I've recently absorbed him and destroyed his planet. As a side effect of gaining his powers and intellect, I have also been gifted a powerful hatred of …you. Now that I'm up close, I must say I'm disappointed. Earth's greatest defender, taken down in only a few measly hits?"

Superman's eyes glowed red, firing off a massive blast of heat vision. Buu's head was disintegrated, his grip on the Kryptonian's neck releasing as he fell back towards the sea. Superman watched the body fall, any grief over killing the creature overpowered by relief that he had avenged the death of his friends.

Then the body stopped falling.

The headless figure hovered in the air, its torso still directed towards the now confused Man of Steel. Then the body was moving, flying straight at the superhero at blinding speeds. Once it was in range, the fight was on.

The headless Buu unleashed a brutal blitzkrieg of blows, the rain of strikes taxing the Clark's durability to the limit. Superman desperately tried to block and dodge the blows, but was finding himself completely outmatch in terms of speed. Any time he tried to respond with a punch or heat blast of his own, his attacks were completely ignored. Buu let them connect, he knew that there was absolutely nothing the Kryptonian could do to hurt him.

As quickly as it began, the barrage of attacks ended. Buu backed off, leaving Superman gasping for breath with tears and holes covering his once proud costume. The Man of Steel watched with growing horror as the djinn pulled a new head of from its neck. His eyes glinting with malice.

"Not bad" Buu smirked, "not good, but still not bad. But as you can clearly see, you are no match for me."

"I... I'm not Earth's only… its only hero. The others will stop you. They'll come at you together with a combine strength that not even you can stop!"

"I highly doubt that, considering they are all in the process of dying right now."

"WHAT?!"

"Here, I'll show you." Buu reached over and ripped his hand off, he tossed it aside were it grew into a copy of the djinn. The copy cackled and flew off into the distance. Superman tried to follow it, but the original Buu snagged his cape and threw him backwards.

Buu raised his other arm to the sky, drawing Superman's eye to the golden gauntlet. "The Infinity Gauntlet" Superman thought numbly_, _flashed with power, creating a series of small circular distortions in the air.

"I split myself into pieces just like that while you were pulling yourself out of the water. I've sent my dopplegangersdoppelgangers across the globe, each and every one of them will eliminate this planets hero community. Let's watch, shall we?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**AVENGERS MANOR**

Iron Man let out a last desperate gasp as the pink attacker ripped the arc reactor from his chest. The mangled body of Hyperion lay a short distance away, the hero being the first to fall in the surprise attack. The Scarlet Witch was knocked out and trapped within a transparent pink globe, floating in the air directly over the top half of her twin brother's body. Just beyond them lay Ms. Marvel and Spider-Man. The Kree-human hybrid had forced her mangled body over to her boyfriend's, clutching his dead hand in her own as she slowly bled out in the street.

In one hand Buu held Iron Man's heart, and in the other was the bloody head of the Incredible Hulk. Hulk's eyes were rolled up back, his mouth hanging open in a way that was almost comical.

Tony's vision began to fade as he gazed into the smirking face of Buu. The power drained from his body and the shrapnel began assaulting his heart. He was going to die, there was absolutely no way around it. But maybe, at the very least, he could get in one more hit and do some damage. With a final mental command he triggered the arc reactors self-destruct. The blue device exploded, the shock waves releasing all the power of a nuclear weapon with the space of a ten-block radius, destroying everything within.

But to Tony Stark, the blast didn't matter. He was already gone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Jean Grey's School for Gifted Youngsters**

Wolverine dodged around the bodies of his students, his feral side in complete control. He launched himself onto the smirking, pink skinned bastard who had torn down everything he held dear.

The mutant's adamantium claws sliced through the creature's armor like a hot knife through butter, cutting at the pink flesh within. Buu threw the enraged mutant off with a minute ki blast, while at the same time striking Iceman with a transformation beam. Bobby Drake looked down at his body in horror as it slowly turned to stone, completely unable to stop it. A second later an unconscious Storm and Rogue were launched across the hall, smashing into the statue and shattering it on the ground. X23 leapt over their prone figures in a mad dash at her friend's killer, snarling with an insatiable rage. Her charge was met with a powerful blue beam that completely disintegrated her head, leaving her lifeless body to collapse to the floor.

Buu turned his head at the scream of anguish behind him. Wolverine was making his way to his feet, the hole that had been blown through his chest slowly closing. The look of pure despair drew a chuckle from the djinns mouth.

"Those bones of yours sure are durable aren't they? I wonder how you would fair without that bonus. Care to find out?" The pink beam fired from Buu's head tentacle, striking Logan head on. For a second the mutant stood strong, thinking that the beam had been ineffective. He took a step forward, then another, then his body collapsed into a pile of goo.

"Hmm, turn your bones into jelly and you're helpless. Just as well, I was getting bored of this game. Besides, I have what I came for." A laughing djinn flew from the building, his two prizes in arm.

A second later, a pink blast struck the school, vaporizing it completely.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Hall of Justice**

Powergirl and Supergirl were the last ones standing.

Nobody had been prepared for the attack. Most of league were dead before they realized what was happening.

The insane monster had burst in through the wall behind Zatana, and snapped her neck before she could even turn around. A pair of energy blasts incinerated the wings off of Hawkgirl's back, throwing her to the ground screaming in pain, her screams were silenced with a stomp to her chest.

The Martian Manhunter had launched a telepathic assault on the genie, forcing his mind into that of creature's.

What he saw broke him.

The sheer insanity that was Buu, given form by the twisted strength of Darkseid's mental strength was too much for any lone telepath to hope to survive. The Martian had clutched his head, howling with pain as the waves of madness forced their way into his head. Then his mind shattered completely, and the mighty Martian collapsed to the ground, a small trickle of drool leaking from his mouth.

Hal Jordan and John Stewart, two elites of the Green Lantern corps attacked next.

And so they died.

Buu plowed through their energy attacks with ease, and he was able to teleport out of anything they tried to contain him in. He toyed with them for several seconds, allowing them to believe that they could fight back, that they had hope. Then he pointed at Hal and blew up his head. The brain matter hadn't even reached the floor yet when the djinn's fist burst out of John's back. The two men landed next to each other, the green glow fading from their bodies as their rings flew off to find new hosts.

Red Tornado was blown to scrap, Green Arrow into pieces. Dr. Light, Fire, and Ice were turned into light chocolate, a spicy jawbreaker, and a candy cane. The djinn cheerfully munched on them as he blew a hole through Aquaman's chest and reduced Cyborg to ashes.

The genie had intentionally dodged around the two Kryptonian women, wanting to save his two most interesting victims for last. Now though, there was nothing between him and the two women except for a pile of corpses that had once been their friends.

The two Kara's stood side by side, facing off against the djinn. Supergirl's face displayed her rage, her face was contorted up into a snarl and her eyes were squinted up into a harsh glare. Powergirl on the other hand displayed more caution and worry, she was both more powerful and more experience than her counterpart, and she knew that they were at a disadvantage. Still though, she had never been one to back down from a fight, and that hadn't changed.

The older blonde attacked first, puckering her lips and releasing an arctic typhoon at Buu. Buu didn't dodge, instead allowing the ice to coat him and trap him within a miniature iceberg. The genie was frozen for only a moment before a burst of ki shattered it. Supergirl used his momentary distraction to charge in, punching the djinn's head with earth-shattering force. His head flew backwards, neck stretching out as his head splattered against the wall.

His body, however remained perfectly still. With his neck stretched like a rubber band, Buu let out a maniacal laugh as his hand snapped back forwards and crashed into Supergirl's forehead. The young woman had no time to recover as Buu released an Omega Beam at her, sending her sailing straight through the wall and out of the building. She arced up into the sky, curving down to crash against the ground a minute later.

Powergirl tried to make the best use of her counterpart's distraction, burying her fist into Buu's chest, punching through the armor and straight into his gooey center. She allowed herself a slight smile of satisfaction at the grunt the monster emitted before she pulled out her hand. Or rather, before she tried to pull out her hand. To the Kryptonian's shock, the pink goo was pulling back just as much as she was, leaving her hand trapped. She slammed her palm into the creature's armor, trying to use it to get purchase and free herself. Instead the armor morphed itself, turning into the same gooey substance and trapping her second arm. Powergirl started to panic, pulling desperately in an attempt to get loose. She looked up at the genie's face, her attempts becoming more and more frantic as she took in his amusement at the situation.

Slowly, delicately, he raised both of his hands up to the sides of the terrified girls head. The second he made contact, a powerful bolt of magical lighting shot into her head, knocking the super heroine out cold.

The looked around the room, smiling at the glorious carnage he had created. Whistling a jaunty tone, he wandered off to collect his prize.

Everything was going according to plan.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Jump City**

The SHIELD Helicarrier had been stationed over the city, trying to help the Teen Titans locate the dangerous criminal Deathstroke the Terminator. The city had been locked down and the search had been on for two days already when they finally found him.

He was located when an armored pink creature appeared and threw the mercenary's corpse straight through one of the Helicarrier's engines, sending the powerful war machine crashing into the harbor. The Teen Titans rushed to engage the new villain, unaware of the power he possessed and of the worldwide battle raging against this one monster.

Beast Boy and Kid Flash were the first to try and go up against the djinn, transforming himself into a T Rex and snapping down on djinn, only to find his jaws stuck shut by the gooey substance. A piece dropped off and reformed into Buu, who watched in amusement as the dinosaur tried to get his jaws open for a few moments. Smiling, Buu turned the shape shifter into an oversized animal cracker. Bart tried to race in and rescue the changlingchangeling, but the second he touched the cracker the magic spread to him as well, zapping him into a gummy bear.

Buu had just finished devouring them when Superboy and Red Robin showed up. Batman's third protégé launched several explosive disks at the djinn, hoping to force him on the defensive so Kon-El could land a decisive hit. Instead Buu used his powers to reverse their direction, detonating right in the face of the great detective and sending his brains across the ground. Superboy was casually dispatched with an Omega Beam, and then the two most powerful members of the team arrived.

Buu could sense magically energy within Raven long before she made her appearance. She and the Scarlet Witch had the most untapped magical potential out of everyone on this planet. Both had had the potential to disrupt the dark magic that formed Buu.

Fortunately for him, neither knew how to truly control these powers. The djinn teleported out of the way of an incoming bolt of dark magic and flicked a piece of his finger into the demi-demons face. Which grew and covered her face and suffocated her.

Wonder Girl's magic lasso wrapped itself around Buu's neck a moment later. With a mighty yell, Cassandra Sandsmark unleashed the lasso's full might, directing Zeus' lightning into her opponent. Buu weathered the attack like he had everything else since arriving on the planet, unaffected and with a smile on his face. Cassie didn't let herself get discouraged, deciding instead to make use of the other part of her lasso's power, forcing the truth out of people.

"What's your weakness? How can I beat you?" Buu tapped a finger to the side of his face, pondering the question. After several tense moments, as well as some extreme inner debate, he had come up with an answer.

"None that I can think of, and you can't!" The djinn shifted his density, allowing the lasso to drop to the ground. Cassie tried to back up to defend herself, but it was already over. A single strike to the gut later and the Amazon was rendered helpless on the ground.

And another city fell before Majin Buu.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Sanctum Sanctorum**

The hideout of Dr. Strange had gradually become the central gathering place for all of Earth's magical defenders over the years. So when the Sorcerer Supreme had detected the djinn's presence on Earth, he sent out a general rallying call to all of the magical beings he could. Unfortunately for him, only a single one of them was able to respond.

When Majin Buu broke through the defenses around the building, he was met by a combine magical blast from Dr. Strange and Dr. Fate. Golden magical light combine with a blazing magically fire to vaporize the djinn and scatter him back out into the street. Both let out a brief sigh in relief at the ease they had managed victory. That feeling was short lived though, as both suddenly found themselves with powerful fists punching straight through their backs.

"Really boys? A good try, but you don't have a fraction of the power necessary to hurt me. That's like trying to destroy the sun with a firecracker. You should know better than that."

With a final, painful pull, Buu ripped out both men's hearts, allowing their bloody bodies to fall down to the floor. Then the genie began to look around the room, taking in the many powerful magical objects around him.

"Oh I'll definitely be coming back here after I finished killing off all of the people with super powers. There are all sorts of goodies stashed around this place. With a laugh, the djinn flew off towards the next location.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Legion of Evil HQ**

Buu walked in one on of the largest gatherings of supervillains of all time. The huge number of criminals, ranging from street level all the way to god tier, were all there for one purpose. Uniting in an attempt to destroy all of Earth's heroes and take over the world. The djinn had timed his arrival perfectly, walking in mere moments after they all watched in wonder as the Watchtower was destroyed. Dozens of pairs of eyes turned to the alien creature as it stalked through their midst, moving towards the stage at the front of the room. Lex Luthor and the Red Skull backed away from the man, not willing to risk doing anything that could antagonize such a powerful potential ally.

"I've come to this planet today to start my takeover of the entire universe. My intention is to kill every person single person that is of no use to me. Of course I could merely erase everyone's free will, but I enjoy the fear I create far too much for that. That brings me to the reason that I'm here. Each and everyone one of you has a unique set of skills, skills that allow you to go toe to toe with the heroes of this planet. I intend to create a small, specialized force to aide me in my conquering, and eventual destruction of the galaxy. However, I'm afraid that none of you have made the cut. I'll be killing you all now."

The Skull and Luthor were vaporized the instant the final word left his mouth. Amora the Enchantress grabbed onto the Executioner and teleported them both from the room, escaping the realm entirely. Buu didn't much care, no matter how far they fled they wouldn't be able to escape him. For the ones that remained though, the djinn was in the mood for some candy. The exits sealed themselves before any more of the villains had a chance to escape, and then the feast began.

Bizarro, Cheetah, the Crimson Dynamo, and the Abomination were the first struck by the ray, turning them into life size cake statues of themselves. Gorilla Grodd was reduced to a pile of fruit gummies, Titania was transformed to Taffy, and Poison Ivy was left as a set of chocolate covered Strawberries. The remaining villains' numbers were split as some tried to take out Buu before he could kill them and the others attempted to break down the doors. Neither group was successful; in a matter of seconds the largest gathering of supervillains in the history of Earth was left as a meal to a psychotic, childlike god.

As Buu began to feast he was distracted by the sound of mad laughter. He frowned, was one of his clones in here? Looking around he saw that he had somehow missed a one.

The laughter was coming from a man in tattered purple suit, he was laughing and pointing at the pile of the candy. Buu examined him. "Aren't you scared?" he asked.

"Ahahahaha, are you kidding? This is hilarious." The man responded, grinning in delight at the genie. Buu looked into the man's eyes.

Ah. That explained it, the man's eyes echoed a madness to rival his own. Smiling in return, the djinn held out a chocolate bar.

"Want one?"

"Oh, don't mind if I do!" the man sauntered over and bit into the chocolate. Smearing the candy over his the pale scars on his cheeks.

As one the man and djinn began to laugh.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Back to Buu and Superman**

Superman's face had grown ashen as he watched Earth's entire superhuman community fall in a matter of minutes.

"As you can see Kryptonian, there isn't a single person on this planet with the power to challenge me. I'll eliminate every threat on the planet, and then gather any possible artifact that will enhance my own power. There won't be a single being in existence that will be able to threaten me! You saw how the Asgardians fled, not even the gods themselves can challenge me!"

_**THOOOOM!**_

**Battle music: Thunderstruck-ACDC**

A massive bolt of lightning slammed into Buu, propelling him backwards away from Superman. The Man of Steel looked over towards the source of the blast. Hovering in the air, as though in direct challenge to Buu's statement, was one of Asgard's most powerful warriors.

Thor the Thunderer had come.

"The traitors of Asgard may flee before you villain, but a true god will not. Now you will face the wrath of a true god, and a demigod both!" Buu looked at Superman, the confusion clear on his face.

"Since when does a Kryptonian count as being a demigod?" Superman smiled back, his gaze going beyond the djinn.

"He wasn't talking about me." Buu was about to speak, but stopped when a sword run him through the gut. He managed out an "oh!" right before the Amazon Princess Diana, better known to the world as Wonder Woman, cleaved him in half. Wonder Woman flew over next to Superman, with Thor joining them a second later.

"Superman, go fly to the sun and power up, I expect we shall need it. We'll handle things down here until you get back." Clark looked like he wanted to argue, but a hard glare from his girlfriend was enough to get him rocketing out of the atmosphere. Wonder Woman watched him go, failing to notice the djinn's pieces regenerate and fire off an Omega Beam. Luckily for her, the Thunder God was paying attention.

A swing of his hammer redirected the blast, sending it straight back towards the monsters, vaporizing one of the two. Mjolnir followed a second later, blasting the other Buu backwards in an explosive display of brute force and godly lightning. Buu was able to dodge the crackling hammer as it returned, dodging out of the way just in time to catch Diana's boot with his face.

Buu knocked her leg away and began throwing punches at the Amazon; his attack was cut short though as he once again had to dodge out of the way of the hammer. Thor flew in after at hypersonic speeds, his hammer swinging so quickly he was creating a miniature tornado in the air next to him. Buu was able to deflect the Asgardian's arm, narrowly avoiding the blow. Instead of letting himself be caught off guard though, Thor used Buu's block to build momentum for a mighty backwards swing, blasting the djinn in half. Buu looked down at his torso for a moment, then over towards his legs. With a grin, he sent his lower half charging towards the Asgardian while he went after the Amazon.

While Wonder Woman lacked the physical strength of Superman, but her extreme training made her combat skills outstrip the man of steel many times over. For the first time since he had faced off against the Saiyans back in his home dimension, Buu found that he was able to enjoy a physical fight. Even if he was still limiting himself to the use of only two limbs.

Unlike Wonder Woman, Thor found himself at a disadvantage against the pair of legs. Thor had never been a fighter who relied on his speed, instead focusing on the pure power behind each and every one of his blows. While he was physically capable of handling all of the attacks the legs were dishing out, he wasn't landing any hits of his own.

Thor snarled as another of his swings failed to make contact. He launched himself forwards at the pair of legs that were humiliating him, trying to knock them down into the ocean below. The legs flipped over him, delivering a powerful kick to the head that sent the Thunder God's helmet spinning off into the distance. Thor shrugged off the blow and swung again, still failing to connect anything. The legs got past Thor's guard and nailed him with a kick to the gut. The God doubled over directly into the path of a knee to the face, followed by a kick that landed between the legs. Thor let out a gasp of pain, allowing the legs to land one final axe kick that sent him tumbling into the waters below.

Wonder Woman was slowly losing ground as well. Her skills outstripped even Buu, but the genie was just too fast. She had started strong, but was losing momentum. To make matters worse, Buu seemed to be slowly increasing his speed and power, getting more and more of an advantage as the fight went on. She barely managed to deflect an energy blast with her sword and swung out in retaliation, leaving a slight cut on the djinn's forehead. The cut healed over a second later and Diana found herself doubled over in pain from an unexpected attack from the side. She looked up through watery eyes to see Buu's legs reattach themselves to his torso, laughing as they did so.

"Funny that the demigod proves to be a greater challenge than the full blooded deity. The God of Thunder, taken down with a few well-placed kicks. How pathetic."

Diana managed to regain her bearings before Buu finished talking, though she held off from attacking when she noticed what Buu failed to. A mass of dark clouds was assembling over their heads, a display that could only be the work of one individual.

The water underneath the two warriors exploded upwards as Thor shot forth from the depths of the sea. Mjolnir was alight with power, bending all of the energy from the storm out of the sky and into itself.

"VILLAIN, YOU HAVE SLAIN MANY CLOSE COMRADES TODAY, AND YOU SEEK TO CLAIM EVEN MORE! ON TOP OF THAT, YOU PLAN ON CONQUER MIDGARD FOR YOUR OWN PURPOSES! AND TO THAT, I TELL THEE **NAY**!"

When Thor did battle on Midgard, he normally held back his lightning, always carefully restraining his power to make sure he didn't accidently destroy the planet he fought so hard to defend. On rare occasions though, he would release his full power, showing the world the true wrath of the Thunder God.

The Godblast

Now though, after discovering dozens his friends had been sent to Valhalla, and after being smacked around almost effortlessly when he had gone to try and avenge them, Thor had reached the limit of his restraint. With a mighty roar, he thrust his hammer towards his foe, firing his most powerful attack towards the djinn. Buu responded with an Omega fueled Kamehameha wave, grinning as the two blasts collided.

The grin disappeared as Thor's blast swallowed his own, relentless pushing past and slamming into him. With an anguished scream, Buu was incinerated, the godly magic destroying every atom of the powerful being.

The two surviving heroes shared a tired, triumphant smile at the defeat of their foe. Wonder Woman drifted over towards her Asgardian ally, slowly allowing the weight of the day's events to sink into her. She hadn't even been nearby when all of her friends had fallen, she hadn't even been aware of just how bad the situation was until Thor came down from Asgard to get her assistance in the coming fight.

With a sigh, Wonder Woman made to sheath her blade and wait with the Thunderer for Superman to return. She paused though when she notice a slight difference in the weight of her blade. She brought the weapon up to her face, carefully examining it for whatever was wrong with it. Right away, Diana caught sight of a chunk of pink slime stuck on the tip of her sword from where she had managed to cut the djinn. With a look of disgust, the Amazon made to wipe off the gunk from her Olympian weapon.

Then the gunk began to move.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Superman rarely felt more powerful than when he was directly in front of the sun. Two minutes ago, he had been horribly beaten, now his wounds had been completely healed and his body was filled with more energy than he knew what to do with.

No, he knew exactly what he was going to do with it.

He turned back towards Earth, using his telescopic vision to see how well his friends were doing. His eyes widened in horror.

With a burst of super speed, the last son of Krypton's world dimmed as he outran even the light of the sun, entering the atmosphere in a ball of fire that sent out a shockwave for miles around. Superman stopped on a dime, coming to a halt exactly a yard away from his target. Buu was hovering just above the ocean's surface, holding Thor and Wonder Woman by the throat. The two were striking wildly at the arms containing them, but neither were able to do enough damage to keep up with Buu's rate of regeneration.

Superman didn't even bother talking, he just attacked. Two quick blasts of heat vision freed both of his allies, and then a supersonic fist blasted the djinn back towards the mainland. Superman quickly gave chase.

The Man of Steel's journey to the sun had boosted his strength to beyond that of Darkseid, beyond that of his allies. As he caught up to Buu, he fired up his heat vision once more, firing nonstop in an attempt to eradicate every single molecule in the djinn's body. At the same time he was also launching a barrage of world-breaking punches. Buu looked to be little more than pink paste by the time he crashed down in a giant crater on a beach in Canada. Superman flew up above the goo pile and let loose the full power of his eyes, shooting off a massive red burst that leveled the entire area, turning the sand to glass.

The Kryptonian used both his telescopic and microscopic vision to scan the beach for any trace that the alien had survived the attack. By the time he had finished checking over the area Thor and Wonder Woman had managed to catch up, both looking worse for wear.

"Very well done, you almost had me with that one." The three heroes had been expecting it, having been tricked before they had figure Buu wouldn't go down that easily.

"I suppose I should really start taking this battle serious, but the inhabitants on this planet are just so far below my full power, I really just can't be bothered. Instead, how about I grant us a change of scenery so that you may view the fruition of my plans?" With a snap of Buu fingers, the entire group found themselves standing in the middle of the streets in down town Metropolis. Standing behind Buu were the rest of his clones, the entire group having finished their mission of eliminating any and all possible forms of resistance from the planet. The Buus walked over to the first, allowing themselves to be reabsorbed back into the original body.

"Now that I am whole again, I believe that you are all familiar with the Anti-Life Equation? I had the recent fortune of acquiring it, and I've been putting it to use. Using the Infinity Gauntlet that I liberated from Thanos, every piece of electronic machinery on this planet projects the equation. All of the lower life forms, the humans, have been successfully lost their free will. Like all species, there will of course be those that are immune to the effects, and it is those who I shall to the pleasure of hunting down and killing for the near future. Then with the aide of my new servants, I shall go out into the Universe, acquiring as much power as I can until I am more powerful than any being in existence. Once I have complete control of one Universe and all of its power, I'll destroy it and escape into the next reality. From there, I will repeat the process, with the eventual goal of destroying all life in every possible reality."

"To aide me, I have taken a page out of Darkseid's book. I have taken my ten personal favorite members of the female superhero community from this planet and brainwashed them into being my own personal version of the Furies! Ladies, would you care to present yourselves?"

They appeared one at a time, emerging from alleyways and jumping down from rooftops. The first to appear were Powergirl and Supergirl, the two Kara's having been fully healed while their minds had been destroyed. Ms. Marvel floated down after them, her body alight with energy. The Scarlet Witch appeared in a flash of red energy besides her fellow Avenger, her face completely devoid of any emotion. She-Hulk stomped out next to them, followed by captured X-Men Rogue and Storm. Finally, Wonder Girl and Raven faded in from the shadows, making a total of nine. The women all stared at their former comrades, looking completely like their old selves with the exception of their glowing red eyes.

Thor stepped forward, slowly twirling his hammer to build up power.

"You claim ten of our fellows now bow to you, but I see only nine. Where is your last warrior, or are you too dim-witted to even count?" Buu smiled at the god, completely unconcerned for the ever-increasing amount of power being displayed towards him.

"I doubt you would know this, but have you ever heard that victims of the Anti-Life Equation are far easier to talk control of after multiple exposures? In fact, just being in close proximity to it should be more than enough to wash away the wills of someone such as this. Wouldn't you agree Diana?"

"Yes my Master, I certainly do."

Thor and Superman whipped around to see the same red glow now within the eyes of the Amazon Princess. Before either men had a chance to react, Wonder Woman step forward, stabbing her sword straight through Thor's armor and into his heart. The Thunder God's eyes bulged outwards at the unexpected strike, staring down at the blade in shock. Blood slowly began running down his front, leaking out from wounded and trickling down his front to pool on the ground. Then with a short, bloody cough, Thor the God of Thunder fell, Mjolnir crackling with the divine fury of its master. As the weapon hit the ground it discharged backwards, striking out the one that killed the Thunderer. Diana had no chance to react, the lightning overcoming her godly armor and frying her alive within it. Her body collapsed next Thor's, both passing into their own Pantheon's version of heaven.

When the smoke cleared, the Man of Steel stood alone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**IN ANOTHER DIMENSION**

Two men stood side by side by a portal, watching the events of the other Universe as it was subjected to the terror of Majin Buu. One man was dressed in red oriental clothing, his blue hands fretting nervously as he watched the scene with terror. The other, a human looking male clad in an orange gi and blue undershirt was studying the monster, trying to figure out just how powerful it had become.

"Are you sure you want to do this? I can't send anyone to help you, and he is far stronger now than he was the last time you face him."

"I don't have any choice, you've been watching him, you know what he will do Supreme Kai. If I don't go after him now before he becomes any stronger, he will eventually wipe out all of existence! At least now I still have a small chance of beating him, especially with the gift I got from Korrin. At the very least, I might be able to weaken him enough that someone else from that dimension can take him down."

"That dimension's Earth has but a single hero left, one who approximately equal to you in power."

"Nearly equal to me? Then, I don't suppose I could…?"

"Right, I see where you are going with this. Here, you can take mine, hopefully they will give you enough of an edge. You understand that this is a one way trip don't you? I can send you through, but I have no way of bringing you back."

"I know, but I don't see any other choice."

"Buu won't make it back to this dimension for centuries, maybe even millennia! You and all of your descendants will be long gone by the time that finally happens!"

"I know that, but it doesn't matter. I feel that this is something I need to do!"

"Alright then, if I can't convince you, all I can do is tell you to take care, and to make sure that that djinn, my own personal failure, doesn't bring about the end!"

"Don't worry, you can count on me! Besides, Death hasn't stopped me yet!"

With that, the man stepped through the portal, willingly walking into the most dangerous battle of his life, one with a higher certainty of failure and death than any of his previous battles before.

The blue skinned man sighed, unsure just what would be the outcome of the coming clash.

"Good luck… Son Goku."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Bonus scene:**

**New York City**

Buu hit the ground; his armor in shambles.

"Hmmph. Is that all you've got?"

Slowly, the dark djinn pushed himself off the ground, struggling to support his weight on his mangled limbs. He turned his face towards his foe. She stood above him, hands on hips. Staring down in distaste. They were surrounded by broken trees and shredded fields, but the stumps and ground were teeming and writhing with a mass of hungering monsters.

The Gauntlet had told him of this foe, whispering with hundreds of voices, filled with awe and fear. It told him of the Destroyer.

Squirrel Girl.

He had challenged her, and he was being beaten down. Nothing he could try was working; his energy blasts, his physical attacks, even his omega beams and sanctions. She dodged them all, twisting and turning to dodge every one of them.

And the squirrels, the wretched squirrels.

They were everywhere. He had kicked, punched, blasted, and transformed them. But they just kept coming. Climbing all over him, swarming him, gnawing at him, and staring at him with their beady little eyes.

They had even ripped his head tentacle off. The little demons had eaten his head tentacle!

"You know, I had a date today, and you are ruined it. I think it's about time we finished this up. " Squirrel girl smirked, cracking her knuckles. She charged at him.

"No! STAY AWAY!" Buu screamed, lurching backwards and raising his hand to block her attack. Her tail whipped forward…

And stopped dead.

Buu had managed to catch her attack. He stared in disbelief, the look shared by his opponent. Then pulled, swinging the demon over his head and slammed her into the ground.

Quickly, the dark djinn forced himself to his feet. Why did the squirrels suddenly seem so insignificant? He built up energy and released it as steam, charbroiling all the rodents still clinging to him. The rest of the hordes recoiled; the chittering mass falling back over the destroyed ground.

Buu staggered towards where he had thrown the Destroyer. As he moved he felt his power begin to return, his head tentacle regenerated, his armor reknitting itself. He stood tall and refreshed as he gazed down at the dazed monster.

He did not know why she had suddenly become so weak, but after the beating he had just taken, he was not about to question it. He considered the unconscious monster. Perhaps he should turn her into one of her furies? She was certainly powerful. But…

Buu glanced at the hordes of squirrels still watching him from the edge of the battlefield. He forcibly resisted the urge to shiver. No, he would not have anything to do with this one.

His eyes widened as he saw the furry demon began to stir. He hastily brought both hands to bare, and launched a dual blast of energy at the figure, blowing her apart. The hordes recoiled, screaming at the loss of their queen; retreating and disappearing into the cracks and crevices that surrounded the area.

Buu watched the crater for a minute longer; making sure that the destroyer was gone. Finally satisfied that she would not be coming back, he launched himself into the sky. As he neared the horizon he glanced back one final time.

He launched one final blast that vaporized the entire park, as well as half the city.

Just to be sure.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

AN: Well, a couple of firsts for me in this chapter. My first attempt to be creepy, my first time killing off a major hero character(s), and my first cliffhanger! How did I do for all three of those people? Did I convey enough emotion? Were you disturbed by some of Buu's actions? Did the cliffhanger make you want to punch me in the face? Please review and let me know just what you thought! Thanks for reading!


	16. Extinction: Clash!

**Superhuman Fight Club**

**Heroes and villains from every dimension have one thing in common. They thoroughly enjoy beating each other up. Whether they protect the streets in shadows, stand tall as a symbol of heroism, thrive off of stealing from the less fortunate, or let out a maniacal laugh as they slaughter the innocents, all fight for what they believe in. But the question is, in a fight with no rules, who is left standing? We will take various versions of these characters from any and all realms of media to see if we can find an answer. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

EXTINCTION PART 3: The Right to Live

So for those of you who have been wondering what I did to She-Hulk, I didn't do anything. Buu kinda just kidnapped her… whoops.

Alright guys, final part! Here's a quick recap, and then off you go!

_Last time: Buu, attacked, fresh off of absorbing Darkseid's power and making it his own. Thanos was murdered and the Infinity Gauntlet stolen, fused together with the Anti-Life Equation to create one of the most powerful weapons in existence. Buu attacked Earth next, splitting his body apart and simultaneously striking out against every super powered hero and villain on the planet. Buu collected the strongest of the planet's females, creating a new group of Furies with the Anti-Life Equation. Exactly twenty minutes after entering Earth's atmosphere, almost all of Earth's defenders have fallen. Only Superman remains, but not for long…_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"AAAAAAAAGHHH!"

Superman cried out in pain as She-Hulk stomped on him between the legs again. His arms were pinned beneath his Kryptonian cousins and the combined magical strength of Raven and the Scarlet Witch paralyzed his legs, leaving him helpless and unable to move. Rogue sat by his head; calmly keeping a single finger pressed to his forehead draining any power he could use to struggle free. The rest of the woman had formed a line, taking turns delivering powerful blows, dragging out his death, making a game of it.

Buu watched the spectacle in amusement, glancing up into the darkening skyline. The clouds roiled as Storm brought down another bolt of lightning on the man of steel, bringing forth another cry of pain.. Laughing, the djinn hopped down from the rooftop, landing in the middle of his slaves and smirking at the helpless hero.

"I believe we have enjoyed enough games with our friend here. The planet has fallen, it is time for us to move on to the next inhabited world." Buu raised his arm above his head, the Infinity Gauntlet glowing in a rainbow of dark colors, casting a sinister light over the area.

"Now Kryptonian, this is goodbye." Superman struggled with all of his might, but the Sun couldn't restore his powers fast enough, he couldn't break free.

"Destructo Disc!"

A yellow energy disc flew down from the sky, slicing through Buu's arm just beneath the Gauntlet. A blur of orange flew past Buu, snatching the gauntlet before it could hit the ground. The blur stopped moving, revealing a man in an orange outfit.

The man casually tossed a ball of energy into the gauntlet to clear out any traces of Buu. Then he dropped it and punted it over the horizon. He turned a smirk towards the shocked djinn.

"Hi." He greeted, giving a little wave. "Haven't seen you for a while."

"But you… you can't be here!" the genie whispered. "This isn't your Earth … YOU! CAN"T BE HERE! GOKU!"

"Aw, come on! Don't be like that. I mean sure, I killed you that one time. But you've clearly gotten over it, right?"

"FURIES ATTACK!"

The Kryptonians hung back to restrain their cousin as the rest of the brainwashed heroines attacked. Goku sidestepped a bolt of lightning, retaliating with a Ki blast that knocked Storm out of the sky

Goku followed up by flicking several energy blasts at the furies. He was careful to keep the power low, Buu had already killed so many, and the Saiyan didn't want to add to that number.

Scarlet Witch, still preoccupied with containing Superman, got blasted in between the eyes, but the rest were able to dodge or block it.

She Hulk charged at the Saiyan with an enraged roar, launching a bone-shattering haymaker as soon as she got within range, only to hit air as Goku teleported behind the gamma woman. Her face shifted from rage to confusion as her target disappeared before her eyes, desperately searching around for where he might have gone. Goku slammed his forearm into the back of the woman's neck, getting a sharp gasp from her as she slumped forwards unconscious.

The Titan girls were the next to try, Raven covering Cass's advance with a barrage of dark bolts of energy. Goku's sped around the battlefield, casually dodging the attacks of both heroines with ease.

Goku frowned as the other heroines charged into the fight. Buu could join the fry at anytime. If Goku wanted to avoid hurting these people, he'd have to finish them quickly.

"SOLAR FLARE!"

A blinding light burst forth from Goku's hands, stunning all of the furies and sending them reeling, clutching at their eyes. The Saiyan delivered a hard punch to the Amazon's gut, doubling her over right into the path of an elbow to the head.

With her eliminated, he turned to face the remaining woman, who were just beginning to regain their vision. Goku sent another barrage of energy at the remaining women, hoping to end the battle. Rouge and Raven were both struck with several blows, knocking them to the ground out of the fight.

The rest hit Miss Marvel.

Goku blinked as Carol took the blasts head on and absorbed them, building up a massive yellow glow around her. He blinked again when she blasted him in the face with his own energy.

The Kree-Hybrid launched forwards at supersonic speeds, throwing several blasts at the Saiyan.. Goku just smirked jumped over them, zooming around to dodge all the shots. Ms. Marvel snarled in anger and switched tactics; taking to the sky and firing down a single massive energy blast that slammed into the saiyan. Miss Marvel smiled.

"KAIO KEN!"

Carol didn't even have time to react before a glowing red fist struck the side of her face, sending her to the ground.

She didn't get up.

The two remaining Furies: the two Kryptonians, looked at one another, then down towards the still struggling Superman. In unison, the two women stomped on his face and then launched themselves towards the orange clad warrior.

The Saiyan held up his hands, intercepting their punches.

And was sent flying.

Goku forcefully righted himself in the air just in time to see Supergirl flying at him. The two aliens collided, trying to force the other into submission.

Then Power Girl hit him from behind.

Goku was shoved forwards, Supergirl grabbed him as he passed and swung him around, sending him rocketing towards the ground.

Two pairs of laser beams followed his plummet, driving him further into the pavement and burning through his outfit.

After a few minutes, Goku felt the beams relent. He slowly pushed himself out of the bubbling pavement, gasping for breath. This wasn't working; he'd underestimated the people who lived on this planet.

He couldn't be taken out before he even fought Buu!

It was time to step it up a notch.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Supergirl scanned the crater, trying to sense the enemy of her master. All enemies of Lord Buu had to be crushed; there was no other alternative. Bringing this orange clad warrior back to the dark god would please him.

And If Lord Buu was happy; she was happy.

She looked through the smoke and activated her X-ray vision. She could see the man slowly forcing himself to his feet, still very much alive. Unsurprising of one who had claimed to have defeated her master in the past.

This man: this 'Goku' would suffer for such blasphemy.

Supergirl glanced to her fellow fury and saw the same thoughts echoed on Power Girl's face. It was time to finish this.

As one, they began to gather energy into their eyes, allowing the pressure to build up behind them: the pair leaned forward, and fired, sending a joined ray of destruction towards the crater.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

In a wave of golden light, the smoke was blown backwards. The man blasted forth, his hair shining in a brilliant gold and his body bulging with muscles, plowed straight through the laser and slamming a fist into their stomachs.

. This time the kryptonians were sent flying. The blows sending them into the upper atmosphere.

Goku reappeared above them, snagging their capes and spinning around. He hurled them back down.

The pair forced themselves to a stop in midair, righting themselves. Goku reappeared beside them and slammed a kick into Supergirl's chest, launching her across the horizon.

Power Girl tried shooting another laser at him, but he threw a blast of energy straight through it and blasted her backwards.

She tried to hit him with a hurricane breath, he teleported behind her and drop kicked her out of the sky. He landed lightly next to her crater, lightly bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"Don't tell me you're done already?"

Power Girl snarled, throwing herself off the ground in a bull rush, intending to slam into him with her superior physical strength, he dodged around her and blasted her with a barrage of energy blasts.

The Kryptonian woman endured the energy barrage with little difficulty, using her arms to cover her face and protect her eyes. Goku took advantage of her distraction and slammed a fist into her gut. Power Girl let out a grunt of pain before swinging out with a wild punch.

Goku just tilted his head to the side, smiling as the blow whistled past his head.

He was still smiling when a massive red beam cut through the sky, crashing into his side. The smell of burnt flesh was thick in the air as the Saiyan was blasted off his feet. Her fellow Kryptonian had finally rejoined the fray.

Power Girl gave a nod of thanks to Supergirl for her timely arrival, both stomped forwards, intent on crushing the enemy once and for all.

Goku had returned to normal, his muscles shrunken and the golden gleam fading from his hair. He was looking at them from a crouching position as he popped a small green bean into his mouth.

"You really feel the need to snack right before we kill you?"

"It's a Senzu bean. Want one?" The two Kryptonians eyes glowed red as they prepared to execute the man.

"No. we do not."

"Your loss."

The second the words left the warrior's lips, his wounds disappeared and he stood back up. He smiled at them, flashing a peace sign before performing a teleport, leaving the Kryptonian women to stare at the spot where he had vanished.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Superman struggled to his feet, left completely alone in the ruins of the city he had sworn to protect. The Furies' combined might had overwhelmed him, and they had all but crippled him with their following torture. He was bleeding all over: his body nearly broken.

The Man of Steel looked over at the unconscious heroines around him, the same ones that had been brainwashed by the monster that was working to enslave or kill everything on the planet. His heart grew heavy with pity; their minds would likely never be the same again, even if this "Goku" somehow managed to defeat the djinn. Buu had flown off screaming in rage as the furies had attacked the newcomer; clearly trying to find the gauntlet the newcomer had stolen.

"Hey there."

Superman whipped his head around, nearly falling over to discover Goku standing before him.

Goku shoved a bean into Superman's open mouth.

"Eat this. It will restore all of you energy and heal your wounds. I led those two strong women away, but they should be back here any minute. I don't want to kill them, and that would be a lot easier if I don't have to fight both of them myself.

Superman stared skeptically at the man, not sure if he believed a bean had such power. But it wasn't like he had much to lose; the bean could hardly make him hurt more than he already did. So the Man of Steel mindlessly started chewing.

It was as though he had been dipped in the Sun. A surge of energy spread through his body: healing his wounds and restoring his strength. The last of his wounds healed just as the Furies arrived.

The four fighters stood across from each other, waiting for the other side to make a move. Superman shifted his gaze between the two women, looking for any sign of his family within them. Goku was examining their ki, gauging their power levels against his own, trying to determine how much of a threat they were. trying to figure out how hard he should hit them to make sure they stayed hit.

It was Supergirl who made the first move.

Kara burst forwards with her fist cocked back to strike; intent on punching the orange fool's head clean off.

The Man of Steel met Supergirl before she had covered half the distance, seizing her fist and locking her in place. Kara struggled wildly, trying to throw the older Kryptonian off of her, desperate to get free. Clark activated his X-Ray vision, using it to locate and jab a series of pressure point along the young girl's body. Less than thirty seconds later and the brainwashed fighter fell to the ground, paralyzed.

Power Girl tried to attack Superman, but before she moved a muscle, Goku materialized in front of her, his hair once more shinning with golden light.

"DRAGON FIST!"

A massive golden dragon exploded outwards from the Saiyan's fist as it made contact with the Kryptonian's face, propelling her upwards in a giant wave of energy. Electricity surged through her body as she was lifted up above the city's skyline, before the dragon detonated in an explosion of yellow energy. The Kryptonian fell back towards the ground, her costume in tatters and her energy spent. She was barely aware Goku catching her and gently placing her to the ground as the world faded around her.

The duo looked at each other and grinned. Things were looking up.

"Oh, Bravo!"  
The two defenders of Earth looked up to see the djinn hovering above them, the Infinity Gauntlet clutched in his head tentacle. The genie was applauding them, giving a mocking smile.

"I suppose I should have expected this. After all, I know first-hand how strong you are."

"Do you? Personally I think you could do with a reminder."

"You're welcome to try. But I think you'll find that I'm much stronger than when we last met.

"I can tell. Good thing I'm not fighting you alone isn't it?"

"Don't be ridiculous. You can sense my power, even working together you cannot hope to defeat me. You shall end up broken and beaten like before, but this time there will be no last minutes wishes or a planet full of people to send you energy to defeat me."

"That's not what I meant." Goku quickly pulled out a pair of earrings from his belt, attaching one to his left ear and tossing the other towards Superman. The Kryptonian caught the earring with a look of confusion on his face.

"Porta earring, put it on your right ear and it'll give us the power to beat him!"

Superman didn't hesitate before attaching the jewelry to his ear. Buu's eyes widened. He recognized those earrings. They had nearly destroyed him in the past.

"NO!"

Buu dashed forwards, trying to stop the process, but a green light emitted from the earrings, pushing him back before he could do anything.

"Oh, yeah. One last thing you should probably know. When these earrings are done fusing us together, chances are we'll be stuck that way forever."

"WHAT?"

"Sorry, too late."

Superman's protests were cut off as both men were suddenly pulled off their feet and slammed together, disappearing in a blinding flash of light.

Buu tried to attach Infinity Gauntlet back to his arm, hoping to simply wish the new being out of existence before it could emerge. But a beam of light shot outward, blasting the gauntlet out of his hands. The djinn snarled and tried to bring the Anti-Life Equation to bare.

It quickly became apparent that whatever being would emerge from the green light, he would be immune to the mental assault. Not even fully formed, and the being was already thwarting him at every turn. That would not stand.

The green light died away, a single man now standing where two had before. Red and blue boots led up to Superman's blue body suit, though now a reddish-orange gi top covered the under suit for his upper half. The gi sported Superman's iconic S, blue now and missing the shield. The gi flowed down the man's back as a cape, the center of the cape showing the same "Turtle" symbol on it that Goku wore. A mop of shaggy black hair covered the man's head, slightly spiky in the front but staying flat more towards the back. Black eyes stared upwards at the djinn, a confident smile on his face.

"Now let's see… our names really don't combine together that well do they? Go-El? Kakar-El? Clarku? Gokent? Hmmm, how about Kalkarrot? I suppose that could work for now, I'll try and figure out a better one once I win this."

"WIN? You really think that you can defeat me just like that?"

"Well I can keep you from wearing the Gauntlet, I'm immune to the Anti-Life, and my power easily surpasses yours. Goku completely surpassed you after he killed you, and Superman fought on par with Darkseid. Your absorption adds Darkseid's power to your own. But these earrings multiply ours… Come on Buu, I'm sure you can do basic math."

Buu grimaced. Why did these wretched Saiyans always have to be so troublesome? Now he had no choice but to use his backup plan.

The Kryptoni-Saiyan sensed a sudden surge of power behind him. He spun around to see all of the Furies suddenly covered with Buu's pink goo,

Not good.

Kalkarrot fired off a barrage of energy blasts, trying to free the woman from their prisons before they could be absorbed. Six of the beams were successful, but the rest managed to evade the blasts and fly back to Buu's body, covering him in a pink ball of energy as he transformed once more. Kalkarrot quickly scanned the area, identifying Rogue, Storm, Ms. Marvel, Raven, Wonder Girl, and the Scarlet Witch on the ground. That meant that Buu had absorbed… both Kryptonians and She-hulk.

The pink glow faded and the new Buu emerged, smirking at the angry fusion. His muscles had shrunk slightly, taking on a more lean appearance instead of the bulging size from before. The head tentacle had extended once more, though the armor he wore remained the same. Darkseid was still the most powerful being within him, so he was still the most prominent. Now though, the armor was decorated with green streaks, and a small red cape trailed off from his shoulders.

"Damn you Buu, taking more innocents for their power, just like before. I would have thought you would have learned your lesson last time, quantity does not beat quality in this kind of fight."

"The power of two Kryptonians, and perhaps even better: the ability to get stronger the angrier I get. I'm afraid I don't see my disadvantage. For I assure you, you make me very…very… Angry!

Kalkarrot chose not to answer; instead he focused his powers and used his rage to transform into a Super Saiyan.

"Only the first form 'Kalkarrot?' You would do well to not underestimate me, otherwise you might find yourself DEAD!" Buu launched himself downwards at the Krypto-Saiyan, where his nose was promptly introduced to the fusion's fist. Bits of Buu splattered the ground as Kalkarrot slammed a blue energy orb into the genie's chest.

Buu only managed to escape the ball right before it reached space. The djinn looked down, searching to see where his opponent was coming up from, until he heard a voice behind him.

"So… what's stopping me from just taking the Infinity Gauntlet? I could both destroy you and fix the damage you've caused.

"What indeed? Why don't you go try it?"

Kalkarrot scowled, that didn't sound good.

**BATTLE MUSIC- LAST MAN STANDING: POP EVIL**

"I WON"T LET YOU GET AWAY WITH THIS!" Buu found himself on the defensive, barely able to hold off the attacks of the enraged warrior.

"HAAAAAAAA!"

The fused warrior blasted a massive explosive blast, sending the djinn hurtling towards the moon. Just as he managed to reorient himself, Kalkarrot stuck again, punching him downwards.

Buu slammed into the moon, his momentum tunneling through it until he burst through the other side. The Krypto-Saiyan didn't let up, pulverizing the genie into a fine pink paste. The particles floated off before forming into a horde of clones. There is no sound in space, but it was clear that every one of them was laughing.

Kalkarrot dodged and weaved around them in a striking and blasting the clones to pieces. Both were bashing each other around the solar system, fighting with enough strength to shatter planets with ease. The fused warrior flew deeper into space, launching dozens of rocks from the asteroid belt to crash into the army of clones.

The clones countered, firing back hundreds of pink energy spears that blew apart the rocks and flew towards the warrior. Kalkarrot's hands moved at a blur, batting away the attacks and sending them off into every direction into space. Several collided with Mars, completely vaporizing it on impact. Kalkarrot responded with a blast from his eyes, incinerating half of the clones.

The Buu's moved in, trying to pin down their opponent and trap him so he would have no more room to maneuver. With a silent yell, Kalkarrot unleashed a massive wave of ki, blasting all of the monsters backwards. He started spinning, firing off a stream of lasers in every direction, disintegrating even more of the clones. The strategy worked for a while, right up until one of them got close enough to land a blow, sending the fusion hurtling backwards.

The combatants traded off blows all around the solar system, destroying anything that came in their path. Buu blasted Kalkarrot straight through Mercury. The fusion rallied, snatching Venus out of orbit and slamming it into the Genie. Then he got slammed in the face the former moon-base of Thanos.

Omega beams and Kamehameha blasts flew wildly through the void, creating massive explosions every time they collided. Still, no matter how hard they both tried, neither side could get an advantage. Buu's regeneration and clones keeping him in the fight, but was unable to overpower the fusion.

Kalkarrot phased out of the way of several transformation beams and flew backwards, heading down towards Jupiter. Keeping his mouth firmly shut, Earth's last defender flew downwards within the massive gas planet. The Buu's immediately took off after him, using their ki sense to keep track of him after the gases proved to be too thick to see through.

Kalkarrot was in his element, all of Goku's experience in seeing through ki was shining through while all of the Buu's struggled to keep an accurate lock on him. They could only get his general proximity while he could find each and every one of them. The fighter flew through the planet, smashing all of the djnns towards one another, forcing them back into the same body. Lacking the mobility the fusion had, the Buu's founds themselves overwhelmed and outmaneuvered.

With the Buu's cornered, the Krypto-Saiyan burst out of the planet, his hands cupped together and a blue sphere forming within them.

KA!  
ME!

HA!

ME!

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

The blue beam shot towards the planet, piercing through the gases and slamming into the monster in the center.

Jupiter ignited into a massive fireball.

In a tremendous, silent explosion, the Buu's were vaporized. Kalkarrot was caught up within the blast, sending him hurtling wildly backwards towards the Earth.

Forcing himself back upright, the battered hero stretched out his ki sense, looking for any trace of the djinn still in the area. Not sensing a trace of his foe, he spread his ability out further, reaching out to every corner of the solar system.

Then he felt it.

Buu's presence, it was still there… he was on Earth!

Kalkarrot was gone in an instant, teleporting to appear right next to the djinn when he arrived. He appeared in the planets upper atmosphere just in time to watch the monster absorb the Infinity Gauntlet into his chest.

"Welcome back. Did you have fun out there? While you were playing with me up there, that little bit of blood you knocked out of my nose formed this wonderful body that you see before you. Remember that gauntlet you blew out of my hand? You probably should have done something about that. My powers are draining the gems, granting me every drop of their limitless power. Can you feel it, Kalkarrot? I'm turning into a god even as we speak. I think this calls for a celebration.

A pink blast flew towards Kalkarrot, forcing the fused warrior to throw up his arms to block.

It didn't make contact.

Instead the blast veered off course, doing a loop around the warrior and hurtling back towards Earth.

"No!"

The fighter flew downwards, desperately trying to catch up to the attack before it hit.

He failed.

The attack made contact, thee detonation pushing outwards in all directions, consuming the planet completely. Kalkarrot was forced to back off, forced to flee as billions of people were incinerated with nobody to save them. The air caught fire, and the blast spread outwards, creating a hauntingly beautiful ball of fire that lit up the galaxy.

When the blast faded, the Earth was nothing but dust.

Both Superman and Goku had known their home planets to be destroyed. Each had made a new home on the planet earth. Now, there was nothing they could do but numbly watch the destruction of their home for a second time. Kalkarrot began to shake, both men's emotions clashing together, building and rebounding upon each other to create a single feeling, a single desire.

Revenge.

The warrior's rage exploded outwards, taking shape in the form of Super Saiyan 3. The warrior attack with everything he had, brutal marital arts, powerful energy attacks, monstrous strength. Now though, Buu had his own counter. The power of the gems flared within him, bringing forth more power than the djinn had ever experience before. The longer the fight went, the more powerful he became, and the harder it was for the Krypto-Saiyan to maintain his attack. Blasting his enemy apart only made more enemies, and the monster was almost completely immune to physical attacks. Buu continued to divide himself, his powers never suffering and his advantage only growing with each clone he had. Kalkarrot decided he needed to even up the odds a bit.

MULTI-FORM!

The hero's body shimmered for a moment before separating out, creating a dozen copies of himself. The Kalkarrots began to teleport around the wreckage of earth, furiously vaporizing Buus by the dozen. But as powerful as they all were, it still wasn't enough. One by one the clones fell, blasted apart or beaten to death. As the clones vanished they took part of the hero's power with them, leaving him weaker and weaker as the battle progressed. The battle raged and raged, but Buu just didn't tire.

Finally Kalkarrots power faded, returning to a single form. The Buus pulled back together, grinning savagely. The newly restored djinn wrapped his hand around the hero's neck, squeezing the life from him, crushing him.

Then he faded just like the other copies had.

Buu's eyes widened as he looked around, searching for where the Krypto-Saiyan had fled. He still hadn't managed to tap into the full power of the gems after absorbing them, he was still unable to bend reality to his will. So he spread his senses out, trying to find the warrior with Ki.

There he was.

Buu turned just in time to see the sun turn blue.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

In the center of the Sun, Kalkarrot floated, his body spread out comfortably with his arms aimed straight upwards. As King Kai had told Goku almost a decade ago, the Genki Dama was a technique with no limits, capable of absorbing power from any source, even the Sun. Now though, the fused warrior was using the move for something the God had never even considered before.

He was turning the Sun itself into a Spirit Bomb.

The attack was created for the sole purpose of targeting and eradicating evil, and rarely had any reality seen an evil as dangerous as the one he fought now. The Multiform had pushed him to his limit, but it had created this opening. Buu was so caught up in the battle that he failed to notice when one of his opponents, the original one, vanished.

Superman's connection to the sun was accelerating the creation of the bomb. By the time the last clone had faded, it was nearly ready.

The second it was complete, the next part of the plan was kicked into motion. Goku had defeated Buu with a spirit bomb last time. Buu wasn't going to let it hit him again.

Good thing that wasn't the plan.

Once the bomb was ready, Kalkarrot began to pull on it, absorbing its energy into him.

The time had come to end this

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Buu arrived just as the sun began to collapse in on itself, shrinking down and being absorbed into the warrior he knew was there.

No.

NO!

He knew this technique! The move that had killed him! He wouldn't let it happen again.

He wouldn't let it happen again!

He couldn't let it happen again.

Buu compressed every drop of energy he could into a massive sphere, making it bigger and bigger as the sun continued to shrink down, both fighters preparing for one last strike.

The final exchange.

Buu hoisted the massive attack over his head, its size easily dwarfing the Sun that had just been absorbed. In front of him, the sun finally disappeared, vanishing completely within Kalkarrot. As one, the two warriors released their most devastating finishing moves.

EXTINCTION BLAST!

INFINITE NOVA FIST!

Kalkarrot burst forth, his entire alight in the blue purifying energy of the Genki Dama, his fist blazing red with the power of the sun, vibrating fast enough to punch apart atoms.

Buu launched his tremendous energy blast, a collection of power so great that it would be enough to wipe the entire Milky Way Galaxy out of existence.

The hero's fist struck the giant blast, sending forth waves of energy throughout it they could shatter planets. The massive size of the sphere allowed the attack to absorb the waves and continue forward, surrounding Kalkarrot as he tried to move forwards, stalling his forward movement, wrapping around him, suffocating him in an ocean of evil energy.

Buu felt his opponents power drop, felt as he continued to weaken against the massive onslaught of the mighty djinn. Still he pushed, wanting to be completely sure that his opponent was destroyed, unwilling to have victory stolen from him once more.

With one final heave the blast detonated, sending out a shockwave in every direction that would destroy every single piece of matter within a hundred million light years. The power of the blast gave it great speed, it took less than ten seconds for the explosion to reach it's peak and destroy everything. In a flash, the galaxy was lost. But the battle still wasn't.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
Kryptonian physiology makes absolutely no sense. Everything about them screams that they should be some sort of plant. They require no air, no food, nothing but the sun. The sun heals them, makes them strong, enough of it can turn a Kryptonian into a god. They are one of the most powerful species in the galaxy, as long as they are able to enough light they are virtually unbeatable.

Saiyans are the universes most perfect warrior. Defeat and battle damage only makes them stronger, as does rage and loss. They are born with a desire for combat against worthy foes, a desire that burns through their very veins. A saiyan will never give up, never stop fighting no matter how badly they are outmatched. They have no true upper limit, if they are not strong enough to accomplish their task, they simply become stronger.

Separately, both races are the pinnacle of their respective universes, beings so powerful that even the gods themselves think twice before challenging them. Individually, they are the absolute peak of evolutionary success. Together though… they become something else. A warrior who is constantly healing, and becomes stronger as he is wounded.

A warrior with no upper limit, capable of always becoming more and more powerful, bursting through every possible power ceiling with ease. A being that is constantly evolving, becoming stronger, faster, smarter, right up until the point that they are no longer comprehensible by mortals. A being of unstoppable power and potential.

A God of Battle.

The black shockwave of Buu's attack was immediately followed up by another, enormous wave of blue. Bursting out of the darkness in a crackling aura of reds, blues, and gold flew the Kypto-Saiyan, his fist still blazing with the power of the sun.

Kalkarrot's fist buried itself deep into the dark djinn, latching onto the Infinity Gauntlet within him. With a silent howl of pain, Buu was vaporized in the force of a million supernovas, the blast reverberating through his essence, destroying every piece of him in a burst of flame.

Forcing through the djinn's energy, Kalkarrot latched onto the gems. He could feel something else lashing against him.

The Anti-Life Equation.

Buu had created a failsafe. A backup incase anyone tried to use the gauntlet against him. Kalkarrot redoubled his efforts, ignoring the equation that ripped through his body, focusing his energy into one, final, desperate wish.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Earth**

As one, every single person on the planet opened their eyes.

Everyone shook with horror as they recalled what had happened.

It was like waking from a nightmare. A nightmare that insists it was real, even if you're not hurt in the end.

The horror that they had experience at the hands of the djinn, the terror as he had taken over their minds, the nothingness that had followed after all of their deaths. The entire Hero community gathered in the Hall of Justice, trying to discover what had happened, who was missing. Couples huddled together, holding onto each other, desperately trying to reassure themselves that things were real, that despite everything they remembered they were still alive. Family members gathered together, relived to find loved ones still with them.

He would deny it to anyone who brought it up, but Wolverine's eyes filled with tears as he was reunited with his adopted "daughters," the family members within the X-Men that he had grown to care for.

Once everyone had gathered, it became obvious that some people were still missing. She-Hulk, Power Girl, Supergirl, and Superman had all failed to return or to check in. Batman was just beginning to organize a search and rescue when a voice suddenly came down from the sky.

"Hello people of Earth! I am King Kai, Lord of the Western Galaxy! You undoubtedly have many questions as to what happened, and I feel that I owe a dear friend of mine enough to try and give you some answers. Your entire planet fell to the evil djinn Buu, every single person on it with the exception of Superman was killed. Superman fused his body together with my friend Son Goku in order to create a warrior that would be able to defeat Buu and save the Universe. They succeeded, but the price was high.

Buu's use of the Infinity Gems very nearly wiped out all of reality, so they decided to fix things. They used the highly damaged and corrupted gems to undo all of the damage that Buu had done and restore everyone to life. Unfortunately, not everyone could be saved. Several people had been absorbed by Buu, and those people became far too corrupted by the Anti-Life to be safely returned. She-Hulk, Power Girl, and Supergirl are all gone now, they cannot come back. When Superman and Goku used the power of the gems, the Equation also infected them, turning them into a mindless drone. Instead, the two used every single drop of their power to eliminate both the gems and the Equation, neither can be used in your plane of existence ever again. Your world is safe, despite the high cost. The Kryptonian race is now officially extinct with the exception of a single clone, there are no more true Kryptonians left in the Universe. I am sorry to have to deliver such bitter news, but I can tell you that they are all here with me now, and they are all happy despite the circumstances. They wish you all the best, and the heroes of the planet to carry on without them. Goodbye, and good luck."

The voice faded, leaving the heroes to look around at one another. Diana Prince fell to her knees, tears streaming down her face. Her friends did their best to comfort her, and as one, Earth's champions grieved their fallen comrades.

Deadpool sat on the coach, staring at the inter-dimensional portal that had shown him all his wish had wrought. A bucket of popcorn was clutched loosely in his hands.

"That… was fucking AWESOME."

**"I kind of feel bad though. Aren't those deaths kind of our fault?"**

** "**_Who cares? It was awesome."_

Deadpool turned to the around to face Shenron. The mighty dragon's head was resting on the coach beside the mercenary, his body stretching out behind him to coil around the cosmos swirling around them.

"I gotta hand it to you Shenny. You really delivered." The dragon turned to face him, regarding him coolly, the nodded.

"Your wish is my command. Now." The dragon reached out with his paw and plucked Deadpool off the coach.

"Get out of my house."

The dragon flicked his claws, sending the mercenary spinning out across the void.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Finally finished. I've been trying to work out these last three chapters since back during the fall of last year, months before I even started this story. Can't believe I finally got it all out there, thanks to everyone for sticking around this long and helping me develop my writing enough to feel confident to write this. This is by no means the end, but it one of the last chapters that I already had all planned out. Next chapter will hopefully be up on Halloween, college work depending. For your pleasure, S&amp;D and I have developed a two-part story, featuring a battle royal between some of fictions most epic hunters, followed by a vampire hunt of epic proportions. Until them, please review!


	17. War of the Hunters

**Superhuman Fight Club**

**Heroes and villains from every dimension have one thing in common. They thoroughly enjoy beating each other up. Whether they protect the streets in shadows, stand tall as a symbol of heroism, thrive off of stealing from the less fortunate, or let out a maniacal laugh as they slaughter the innocents, all fight for what they believe in. But the question is, in a fight with no rules, who is left standing? We will take various versions of these characters from any and all realms of media to see if we can find an answer. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Chapter 17: War of the Hunters**

"I cannot believe that you let me get killed."

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back the co-announcer She-Hulk!

"No seriously, screw you I'm a freaking ghost!"

Take it up with Deadpool, I'm not the one that wished the insane planet busting demon thing back to life.

"You're the author! You could have easily fixed this!"

Halloween chapter remember? You can handle being a ghost for a little while, I'll figure out some way to resurrect you later.

"Ugh… fine, but you so owe me a raise!"

You are a lawyer/superhero who works with the Future Foundation. I'm a broke guy with student loans to pay. Now quit hassling me so we can start this already.

"Fine. So, vampire hunters?"

Hell yeah! For this Halloween, we are taking five of the deadliest vampire slayers from fiction and putting them against one another in an all-out last man standing fight to the death!

"Which versions of them?"

Movie or TV versions for all, I'm not entirely sure how to incorporate video games physics in this battle in a way that wouldn't make the fight unfair.

"So who first?"

Gotta start with the original vampire hunter, Van Helsing! Winchester boys eat your hearts out, this guy is humanity's number one monster hunter. Armed with an automatic crossbow accurate enough to snipe a vampire out of the air from over a hundred feet away, twin miniature buzzsaws for close combat, and enough knives to make Freddy Krueger wet himself. While he isn't superhuman, he is easily one of the most skilled fighters in the match. He is also the most tactical, planning out and leading a high risk assault on Dracula's castle that ended with the death of hundreds of monsters.

But how does Van Helsing stack up against the Slayer? Contestant number two, introducing Buffy the Vampire Slayer! Granted the power to slay vampires by an ancient magic, Buffy is physically the strongest fighter in this particular matchup. She was able to comfortable lift a steel support beam, a feat that normally take machinery or a large group of muscle men to accomplish. Her reflexes are also top notch, allowing her to easily handle multiple vampires at the same time. The Slayer has been trained in various martial arts, and is the most powerful and skilled Slayer in her world. Buffy is commonly armed with common wooden stakes, used to pierce the hearts of the creatures she hunts. However, later on she mastered the Slayer's Scythe, a powerful magic weapon that is designed to slay demons.

"That looks like a fireman axe."

It's a magic scythe.

"A magic scythe that looks almost exactly like a fireman's axe. Blade is going to eat her for breakfast."

You sure about that?

"It's Blade. Hell, I'll do this intro. Blade is one of the toughest vampire hunters around, especially considering he's half vamp himself. He has every one of a vampire's physical advantages, but none of their weaknesses. He carries all sorts of weapons, ranging from machine guns to boomerang razor blades to his signature sword. He also has UV grenades, capable of taking down dozens of vampires in a single flash of light. Blade is an extremely skilled martial artist, capable of taking down more than twenty men at the same time by himself. He has minor super strength and speed, and if he needs to, he can drink blood to heal his body and get a temporary power-up. Normally he refuses to drink blood though, instead using a blue chemical that shuts down his bodies need for it. That same serum can be used as a weapon, causing other vampires to bloat up like balloons until they burst. Just watch, I bet he takes Buffy down easy!"

Yeah whatever, we'll see. Next up, coming from Underworld we have-

"Blade's rule 63."

What?

"You cannot tell me that they invented Selene without taking inspiration from Blade. They just made her white to try and hide it."

…what? No seriously, I kind of doubt that. She's-

"A vampire that hunts other vampires, wears a dark leather jacket, carries around a ton of weapons, and is immune to every major vampire weakness?"

Huh…

"And she can heal like Wolverine, and move fast enough to dodge bullets."

Wait wh-

"Our last contest today is a video game character who was unfortunate enough to be featured in an Uwe Boll movie trilogy. But just because all of her movies suck, that doesn't mean that she should be disregarded. Introducing Bloodrayne, the red headed half vampire. Like Blade and Selene, Rayne is also immune to the effects of the sun. She is armed with World War 2 era machine guns, as well as twin tonfa style swords. While not as powerful as some of the other competitors, she is smart. She is practically immortal, and has been killing things for centuries. On the other hand though, she is the only one of the vampire characters in this matchup that has no protection to bullets or projectiles."

So in a battle between the best vampire hunters alive, who will prove to be the best?

"Selene"

Shut up. Here we go!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Grandmaster looked over the location with approval. A closed off military urban training ground, plenty of room to maneuver and find cover. A few buildings along the perimeter, concrete walls surrounding each of them, and large shipping crates spread out randomly around the center. More than enough room for five combatants to fight to the death. A large circular area was left open in the center, the perfect place for the battle to begin. Nodding to himself, the Elder being summoned his unknowing combatants.

They appeared evenly spaced around the circle, dressed in full combat gear and with an expression of shock on their faces. They took in the people around the circle and immediately drew their weapons. The standoff faltered though, when a massive blue being appeared in the middle of their circle.

"Welcome combatants, I am the Grandmaster. I have brought you here for a simple challenge. You shall all fight to the death, a fight to determine who the greatest hunter is! Don't worry, you'll all be resurrected by the end of the fight, however the winner will receive a prize for their troubles." The group looked around at one another, weighing their options. Buffy was the one who decided to step forward.

"What happens if we refuse? What if I say that I want no part of your game?" The smile dropped from the Gods face, morphing into a look of pure malice.

"Then I rip apart your molecules and cast you off into the nearest sun, never to see your home again." Buffy quickly backed down, she could sense just how massively outmatched she was. The smile returned to the Grandmaster's face, happy the game would go on uninterrupted.

"So we are all set then? Oh, I should probably introduce all of you first. Let's see, the shaggy one is Van Helsing, killer of Dracula.

The blonde is Buffy Summers, the Vampire Slayer who also managed to defeat her own Dracula.

The guy with the shades and the sword is Blade, a Halfling vampire who stabbed his Dracula with a toxic, vampire killing arrow.

The lady in the black coat is Selene, an elder vampire who hasn't killed or even seen Dracula. She killed some other elder vampire instead, along with the biggest werewolf her world has ever produced.

Lastly, the red head is Bloodrayne. She is a Halfling like Blade, and she has slayed a coven medieval vampires, a coven of cowboy vampires, and a coven of Nazi vampires that she accidently created when she wasn't careful with her blood. Everybody know each other? Great, now FIGHT!"

The blue being vanished, leaving the five hunters staring at each other. Then, as one, everyone drew their weapons. Blade pulled out his massive shotgun, Selene drew her twin sub machine guns, Van Helsing hefted up his crossbow, Rayne took aim with her stolen German assault rifle… and Buffy stared at the collection of deadly weapons as she clutched her scythe tightly in her hands.

"Fuck."

Buffy sprinted off and dove through one of the windows as everyone started shooting. All four were darting around each other, giving one another a moving target. One of Blade's shotgun blasts caught Selene in the chest, sending her toppling to the ground. Bloodrayne dodged his next shot, and retaliated with a burst of automatic fire. The bullets bounced harmlessly off of the Daywalker's armor, but the crossbow shot that followed it did not. The bolt made little headway through the thick material, but it went through enough to draw blood. Blade was moving before the next bolt could be fired, firing the rest of his shotgun shells behind him as he retreated off towards one of the buildings. Rayne turned her gun towards the human hunter, firing off a quick burst at his torso. Van Helsing saw the movement out of the corner of his eye and dodge backwards, turning what would have been a killing shot into grazing wound.

A flick of his finger switch the bow from single shot to automatic. Bloodrayne had no time to dodge and no time to counter. Van Helsing launched exactly twenty bolts at the woman, and each and every one of them found its mark. Two in each limb, ten in the chest, one in the forehead, and one right between her eyes. The centuries old woman collapsed to the ground, a lake of blood pooling around her prone body.

And then there were four.

Van Helsing turned away from her, searching for any signs of the other creature. His search came to a halt as he heard a sound behind him. The legendary hunter spun around with his bow raised. The weapon was promptly snapped in half by the enraged looking Selene, her glowing blue eyes glaring into his own. He had just enough time to notice how similar see looked to Anna Valerious before their fight began.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Blade's dive out of the line of fire landed him less than five feet away from a seriously pissed off Slayer. He barely rolled to his feet in time to dodge the first swing of her scythe, the second cut his shotgun clean in half. Blade leapt out of the way of the next swing, his momentum sending his sunglasses clattering across the room. The Daywalker was on his feet again almost immediately, drawing his sword as he squared off with the blonde teen.

Buffy moved in again, swinging wildly and forcing Blade on the defensive. The older warrior grimaced, the girl was as fast as Nomak and almost as strong as the transformed Drake. Fortunately for him, she wasn't quite as skilled as either of them.

Blade blocked a swipe that had been aimed at his side, countering with a stab straight towards Buffy's heart. The Slayer leaned out of the way and swung her scythe low, forcing Blade to jump up backwards or lose his legs. Instead of moving to reengage, the Daywalker drew a razor disk and launched it at the teen. Buffy decided not to dodge, simply slicing the disk in half instead. The move almost cost her, it allowed Blade to close the distance and swing a powerful blow straight towards her neck. Buffy dodged sideways, still taking a light gash across her cheek for her troubles. They were fighting equally for the moment, but that merely meant something had to give.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Selene was had never been so angry in her entire life. One moment she was tracking down her lover, finally finding him after months and months of searching. The next moment she was gone, thrown into some inside death battle with a group of professional vampire hunters. Only a few minutes later she had taken a shotgun blast to the chest, if it wasn't for her accelerated healing factor from the elder blood she would have been the first one out. Now the red headed bitch was dead, and the blonde and the swordsman were gone. Only Van Helsing remained.

How unfortunate for him.

A single punch was all it took to knock the aged hunter flying backwards. Instead of landing on his back though, the man spun in the air, landing on his feet and drawing two metal circles from his pockets in the same movement. Selene charged forwards, her hand drawn back to punch the smirking man's teeth out the back of his throat. She swung…

BZZZZZZZT!

…and was left gaping at the massive bloody gashes along her arm and across her chest.

Van Helsing was skipping backwards, grinning despite the large amount of blood he had splashed over his face. Selene couldn't believe it, no human she had ever fought in her six centuries alive had ever been able to pull off a move like that. He had evaded her so casually, and then used buzz saws on her. Freaking miniature buzz saws. Who the hell carried around a thing like that?

Screw it.

Selene snarled as she charged in again, her wounds already healing. Van Helsing swung again, forcing her to duck under the saw, right into the path of the other. She winced as another gash appeared on her forehead, but she kept going. She continued forwards, getting behind the man and slamming her hand down towards his neck. The blow missed, deflected off the hunters back as he swung around and tore yet another hole into the vampire. Selene let out a gasp of pain as the blade cut deeper, slicing into her ribs. She lashed out with a sharp kick, sending the hunter sprawling across the ground. Instead of pursuing, Selene backed off and allowed her wounds to close.

Van Helsing was on his feet almost immediately. He could tell he was at a disadvantage, but this vampire still wasn't as powerful as Dracula had been. As long as he was careful, he could eventually find a way around her healing abilities and kill her.

That was the hunters last thought as the explosive disk Selene planted on his back detonated. Charred hunks of flesh and clothing flew through the air, falling just short of where Selene stood. The vampire completely ignored the fallen man, instead walking over to where she had dropped her guns. The woman examined the weapons for a moment, checking for any sign of damage that they might have taken during the battle. Once she was satisfied that they were fine, the woman walked off.

And then there were three.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Buffy and Blade struggled against one another, their weapons locked between them. Blade was sliding backwards, he just couldn't match the brute strength that the Slayer possessed. Instead, he leaned back, causing Buffy to stumble slightly at the sudden loss of resistance. Blade took advantage of her distraction by locking their weapons and spinning, sending both hurtling across the room. Now they were both unarmed, it was just hand to hand.

Buffy lashed out a right cross that Blade was able to dodge. She tried to follow up with a kick, but Blade block her leg with his own and then landed his foot in her gut. The girl let out a deep grunt as she took the shot, barely noticing Blade's fist until it slammed into her jaw. The Slayer dodged the next punch, then caught the third. Blade strained his arm, trying to break free of her grip, but her strength was beyond him. Instead he took a powerful shot to the chest that sent him stumbling backwards. If he hadn't been wearing his armor, the attack may have beaten him.

The Daywalker charged right back in, and the two exchanged an incredible barrage of punches, blocks, and kicks. Despite everything, Blade found that he was enjoying himself. He almost never found opponents that were able to match him in strength and skill, usually it was just him easily wiping out rooms full of far weaker opponents. Buffy on the other hand, was not enjoying the fight. She had already been killed before, TWICE, and she really didn't want to die again. Despite her best efforts though, she couldn't get an advantage over her armored opponent. Not only that, there were at least one or two more people she would have to fight if she managed to beat him. If they were at all as fast and skilled as he was, she was going to be in trouble.

Blade bobbed and weaved around a combo of vicious punches, taking advantage of a lull to introduce his fist to the blonde's nose. There was a crack of shattering cartilage, followed by a spurt of blood as the Slayer cried out in pain. Through teary eyes, Buffy managed to dodge the next punch and launched a kick straight into the man's crotch. To her surprise though, instead of the satisfaction of watching the guy double over in pain, her foot winded up throbbing from the metal protector her wore. Blade gave the teen a cocky grin as she glared at him, hatred in her eyes. The girl dashed forwards, dodging another punch and slamming her elbow into the Daywalker's chest. Blade's eyes widened in pain as the girl landed three more similar blows, doubling him over before she kicked him to the ground. Blade rolled backward to avoid getting his head stomped in, and then launched his own kick from the ground, catching the hunter straight in the gut. A second later he was on his feet once more, the two warriors clashing yet again.

BANGBANGBAMGBANGBANGBANG!

A sudden spray of bullets caught both fighters unaware, slamming into Buffy's back and Blade's chest. The armor Blade wore protected him from any serious damage, Buffy was not so lucky. The girl teetered on shaky legs, staring down at the holes the high caliber bullets had torn through the front of her shirt as they exited her body. Just as she began to fall backwards, Selene was there to catch her and sink her fans into the young Slayer's neck. The vampire wiped the blood from her mouth as Buffy fell to the ground dead.

Then there were two.

**Battle Music: Name of the Game by Crystal Method**

Selene tossed aside her now empty guns, staring at her final opponent. Blade was ignoring her, instead walking over to retrieve his sunglasses.

"You're looking pretty beat up there, too bad you don't have any blood to restore yourself." Blade picked up the glasses, holding them in his hand as he replied.

"I'm not the one that needs an amp."

"I'm a fully blooded elder vampire, you have no chance against me."

Blade slipped the glasses back onto his face, turning fully to face his opponent.

"Some motherfucker's always trying to ice skate uphill."

Selene blinked. Then shook her head and dashed forwards and connected her gut to Blade's foot. The woman spun around the limb and got in close, throwing a number of wild punches towards the fighter. Blade swatted them aside, countering with his own punches. He decked her across the jaw and landed a few shots right above her eyes. The thin skin split on the impact and a few drops of blood slid down into her eyes. Blade made the best of the temporary blindness, landing another chop to her throat and then sweeping out her legs. Selene toppled over, and Blade decided to follow up by stomping on her face. Selene let out a cry of pain as the foot smashed against her skull, but when it rose to fall a second time she was able to deflect the attack and roll back onto her feet.

Blade watch as the wounds he had inflicted quickly healed over. It was like fighting Frost all over again. Though that did raise the question, just how different was a regular vampire from and elder? The Daywalker reached into his jacket once more, this time pulling out what appeared to be a flash bang grenade. He launched it towards the vampire who batted it aside. The grenade made it about a yard away from her before it detonated, releasing a giant burst of UV light. When the flash dispersed Selene stood rubbing her eyes, completely unaffected by the attack with the exception of some spots in her eyes. Blade was slightly disappointed that the attack hadn't killed her, but at least it had given some use for wearing sunglasses in a darkroom besides looking badass.

The Daywalker's vision hadn't been effected by the light, and he took advantage of his opponent's distraction to get in close. With superhuman strength the Halfling punched Selene's throat in, completely crushing the air passage. The wound quickly began healing, but it increased Blade's opening. The barrage of punches that followed was nothing short of savage, just a dozen of punches and gauges aimed at the most vulnerable parts of the woman's anatomy. No matter what he did though, the bitch refused to die. Selene recovered in under a minute, and soon she throwing back her own attacks. The Daywalker was briefly overwhelmed by her speed, put on the defensive as he tried to keep up with her rapid movements. Then a particularly powerful punch caught him under the chin, snapping his head back and giving Selene the chance to latch onto him.

She picked the armored man of the ground and slammed him headfirst into the wall. Blade was too dazed to do anything as she punched him in the face and then chucked him across the room. The man collapsed to the ground, his head bleeding and badly concussed. Selene reached into her pocket, pulling out her last explosive disk. She stalked over towards her prey, all that was left was to plant it on him and detonate, and then she would have won. Would have won had Blade not shot to his feet the second she got close and sliced her head clean off. The head held its place for only a moment, just long enough for the fear and comprehension of what had just happened to appear on her before it collapsed to the ground. The headless body followed a moment later, the elder's blood leaking out across the ground. Blade stood tall, surveying his fallen fellow hunters after their downfall.

In a flash they were all back in the circle. The contestants were all restored, looks of disbelief clear on the fallens' faces. Buffy and Van Helsing both glared daggers over at Selene, both feeling that they had been taken down through cheap tactics in what should have been a battle of pure skill. Bloodrayne just looked disappointed, she hadn't even been able to make it through the first few minutes of the fight. Selene was ignoring Buffy and Van Helsing, instead directing a cold stare towards the one that had killed her. Blade merely adjusted his jacket, chuckling at the anger of the other combatants.

The Grandmaster spoke before any of them even realized that he was there.

"A very impressive showing, most impressive indeed. A bit shorter than I would have liked, but still quite intense. Now though, moving on to our next event. You see, the real reason I brought you here was not actually to fight each other. It was instead to assemble a team of specialists, a team that could help me eliminate a certain 'problem'. There are vampires running amok that should simply not exist, vampires that are completely destroying the culture and dark mystique that they have spent decades building up. These creatures are a far greater threat to the world than any vampire ever seen before, and they must be eliminated as soon as possible."

Blade frowned at this, confused.

"So what was the point of us fighting then if you wanted us all on the same team?"

"I wanted to see who I would be sending after their leader. Now Blade, as your reward for winning this battle, I select you to be the one to challenge and slay this menace to the world. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to kill Edward Cullen.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A lot of factors went into this fight, and this is what I came up with overall in order to determine just who could beat who in this battle royale. Weapon versatility/variety

Weapon Variety/Versatility

1\. Blade

2\. Van Helsing

3\. Selene

4\. Bloodrayne

5\. Buffy

Physical Strength

1\. Buffy

2\. Blade

3\. Selene

4\. Bloodrayne

5\. Van Helsing

Combat Speed

1\. Buffy

2\. Selene

3\. Blade

4\. Van Helsing

5\. Bloodrayne

Durability

1\. Selene

2\. Blade

3\. Buffy

4\. Bloodrayne

5\. Van Helsing

Fighting Skills

1\. Blade and Van Helsing

3\. Buffy

4\. Selene

5\. Bloodrayne

Overall

1\. Blade

2\. Selene

3\. Buffy

4\. Van Helsing

5\. Bloodrayne

Bloodrayne was seriously underdeveloped in her franchise, she could easily have been a main contender if not for her poor movie showings.

Van Helsing is extremely impressive, but in the end he is still just human with human weaknesses.

Buffy is super powered, however she lacks the durability to last for an extended period of time against either of the two final contestants.

Finally, Selene just doesn't have the skill level necessary to defeat Blade. Her healing factor would help her last the longest, but Blade's blue serum would be able to kill her, as would his sword. Selene lacks the showings in terms of sword feats to put her on par with Blade or Buffy, and once the fight gets close range Blade should be able to put her down. On top of that, EVERYONE in Underworld has god awful aim when they are shooting at things. I mean, a group of three vampires armed with automatic weapons were standing about 10 feet away from an injured, unmoving man, and they all emptied their entire clips at him. They hit him a whole three times. That's impressive right there. Stormtroopers would be mocking these guys, and they can't hit an 8 foot tall Wookie standing in the middle of a hallway. Selene's aim is only marginally above their own, so as a result Selene is unlikely to score any headshots. As a result, the winner is Blade. Come back next time to see these hunters return to face off with the worst vampires ever!


	18. A Blade that Does Not Sparkle

Chapter: A Blade That Does Not Sparkle.

Hello everyone and welcome to another wonderful story by….wait for it. Wait for it…

Sturm and Drang! And my Cohost:

…Actually I don't have a cohost this time around… you see, Deadpool is in a time out for planetary destruction. So he can't really help me with this. Not that there is much to say.

Oh, I'm doing my own stories now, so isn't that fun.

Whatever, let's get on with it.

WARNING: EXPECT TWILIGHT CHARCTERS TO BE OUT OF CHARCTER. NEITHER AUTHOR WANTED TO ACTUALLY LOOK UP HOW THEY TALKED.

S&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;D

In another realm, there was a table.

That's about it, really. The endless void of infinity held little besides the table.

But to be fair, it was a really nice table. It had clearly been lovingly crafted from what must of been the wood of a very rare, probably now extinct tree.

It also had chairs, six to be exact. These were more than just nice, these chairs were the thing that every king wanted his throne to be.

Grandmaster smiled happily, beaming at the five individuals who had joined him at his epic table.

Blade sat in his chair like a sack of bricks, hard and grumpy looking, doing his level best to glare at everything at once while still keeping it focused at the celestial.

Blood Rayne was glaring daggers at Van Helsing; or rather, his crossbow; which the monster hunter was methodically cleaning, studiously ignoring his surroundings.

Selene was calmly observing everyone, clearly attempting to formulate a plan to kill everybody, but mostly Blade.

Only Buffy was enjoying the situation. She was practically sinking into her chair, savoring the sweet marshmallowy softness of the chair.

Grandmaster was glad someone was appreciating them. He had put a lot of effort into those chairs.

"So." He began "I suppose you are all wondering why I brought you here."

"Yeah." Blade grunted. "Are you gonna make me kill these idiots again?" Bloodrayne stiffened, shooting venomous glares at the half vampire.

"No no." the cosmic being shook his head, "That was a fun game, but I want you to put that fight behind you and work together. This task is very important, and I have no doubt you will all enjoy it. You see, there are some vampires I would really like to have them killed. Some werewolves too." Grandmaster slid folders across the table; each of the hunters hesitantly took one and glanced through it.

Their reactions varied. Van Helsing just looked bemused. Selene and Bloodrayne looked like they'd just stepped in something smelly. Buffy frowned. Blade looked both horrified and a little bit sick, lowering his sunglasses to make absolutely sure he was looking at what he thought he was looking at.

"Is that…Is that vamp… Sparkling?"

"I'm afraid so Blade. These vampires sparkle in the sunlight."

"Where are they? And how many are we killing?"

"I thought you would say that. Do the rest of you feel the same?" the other four, faces radiating disgust, nodded.

"Excellent." The being, waved his hand and conjured a screen above his head. "Now these, vampires come from a realm known as Twilight, these vampires were given form and sustained mostly by the fancies of girls aged 10-15, woman aged 40 and up, very feminine men aged 16-30, and by a few other demographics of questionable taste."

"Who the hell cares?" Blade snarled. "How do we kill them?"

"I was getting to that. Now these vampires are essentially like normal vampires, except almost completely not the same. They are not killed by holy water, running water, crucifixes, garlic, or any of the other weaknesses actual vampires are supposed to have. As you saw sunlight doesn't work, it doesn't kill them, just makes them … sparkle."

"Stabbing and decapitation still works right?" Rayne demanded.

"Well yes. But I've never really understood how those count as a special weakness. I've always thought decapitation was more or less a universal problem solver."

"I feel ya there."

"On that note, these vampires are incapable of shape shifting, but they are physically strong and have skin as hard as diamond."

"So we just need to kill them especially hard, big deal."

Selene cleared her throat. "You mentioned something about werewolves?"

"Oh yes. Those aren't so bad. They are werewolves, they possess the superhuman speed, healing factor, etc. The main differences is they do not fear silver, they can transform into a werewolf at any time they want, but their wolf form is just that, a wolf. That's not actually too bad, that's what werewolves originally were. The whole two-legged thing happened when Hollywood got their hands on werewolves."

Additionally, there are these special werewolves called children of the moon, they are the ones that are forced to transform under the full moon and kill everything that moves. Don't worry about those, they are supposed to be extinct."

The assassin nodded. "Are there any specific targets we should look out for?"

"I'm glad you asked!" the master beamed. He raised his hand and a screen appeared above his head. Three profiles appeared on it. "These two are the main targets, the boy is called Edward and he's the main sucky sparkler. The girl is Bella, she sucks even worse-"Buffy snorted.

"Oh I've heard of her. She's terrible. She's a whinny damsel in distress. She's a wishy-washy character that gives heroines everywhere a bad name."

"Quite. Now the general story is a love triangle between Edward, Bella, and the third guy, Jacob. Jacob's a werewolf. And from what I understand, when Bella chose the sparkly guy, they had a baby…and Jacob paired up with the baby…creepy.

Now here is what you all need to do. Normally these sparkers are broken into factions and fighting because they all think everyone else sucks. But unfortunately they've all gathered in this random castle. I think they heard that someone was sending assassins or something. On the bright side they're all in one place now." The Grandmaster sank back into his throne. "Well what are you waiting for? Get going! They aren't gonna kill themselves."

He snapped his fingers and the table faded from sight.

S&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;D

"This…this is just sad." Said Rayne.

"You read the dossiers." Selene replied, "What were you expecting?"

"To be fair, it is a castle." Said Buffy.

"Yeah. A Disney castle."

It was true. The vampires of the Twilight realm had gathered themselves into a Disney Land amusement park. The center sat a white flashy castle, decorated with banners of happy looking cartoon mice and ducks. Snaking around the castle was several roller coasters, which vampires were riding enthusiastically.

"I mean seriously." Rayne continued. "I bet Dracula would be crying if he saw this. It's sunny out, there's no ominous storm, and no creaking gates or towering isolated cliffs. It's just…just… commercialization in action!"

"We are aware of that Rayne." Said Helsing. Putting a hand on the dhampir's shoulder to come her down. "We're here to fix the problem. Is everyone ready to go?"

"Screw this, I'm gonna kill all the dirty sparklers." The Daywalker shoved the rest out of his way and started stomping down the path to the entrance of the park. The rest of the group looked at each other for a moment then nodded, following Blade down to the park.

They caught up with him just as he reached the entrance. There was a vampire there, leaning against the wall with a bored expression, munching on some cotton candy. The vampire straightened when he caught sight of the group.

"Park's closed." He sneered, crossing his arms and striking a pose.

"That's nice." said Rayne as she approached.

"Lady, you have no idea what you're messing with here, so why don't you just turn around and go home? I'd hate to have hurt your pretty little face." the vampire grinned, showing off his teeth.

"Alright Ass-hat. Two things: one, if you're going to threaten someone, don't have cotton candy smeared across your face. Second:" Rayne kicked out, bashing the vampire between the legs. When he bent over, hissing in pain, she whipped up one of her arm blades, stabbing him through the eye into his brain. "You really need to die." She followed up with a decapitation.

"You bitch! You killed James." A female vampire with flaming read hair leapt out from behind a wall, and rushed at Rayne.

Blade shot her in the face.

She recoiled, clutching at her eye.

Blade shot her again.

And a third time, just because.

Rayne stomped over and cut off her head too.

Blade nodded at a job well done.

"Alright." The day walker grunted. "Let's go kill things, its open season on all suckheads."

S&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;D

Van Helsing had split up from the group, and Buffy had decided to follow him in order to avoid Blade. The half-vampire was intimidating, it did not help that he had nearly killed her a short while ago. Van Helsing had loaded his crossbow and was fiddling with it. Loading a tiny compartment on the side with a golden liquid.

"So… I don't think we were ever properly introduced. I'm Buffy."

"You can call me Van Helsing, Miss Buffy."

"Great, uh… what are you powers exactly?"

"I have various weapons and tools meant for killing monsters. I've been told I'm pretty good at it."

"But…you mean you don't have any powers? You're just a human with fancy toys?"

"I guess you can say that."

"Holy shit! You're like a medieval Batman!"

"What?"

"Never mind. Anyway, I'm called a Slayer, I have super human abilities and skills. I'm pretty tough. I also get this awesome scythe." She held up the ancient vampire slaying weapon.

"I noticed. By the way, that's a battle ax, not a scythe."

"I know, but they called it a scythe anyway… so where we going?" He pointed ahead of them, towards a rollercoaster. A Buffy could here the shrieks of delight coming from the vampires on the ride.

"Aren't these guys supposed to be preparing for us? They don't seem to take this very seriously."

"Makes them easier to kill." Van Helsing crouched down and hefted his crossbow, aiming at the rollercoaster tracks.

"I don't think those bolts are going to hurt them very much." Van Helsing ignored her and fired just as the coaster passed, several bolts flying straight into the cart at the apex of a loop.

The bolts exploded in burst of blazing light.

The coaster was blown off the track, sending it straight downward and smashing the screaming vampires into the ground. Several figures burst out of the wreckage and turned towards the pair.

Van Helsing shot them some more; a staccato of explosions blowing the vampires to pieces. The vampires vaporized, falling around the pair in a shower of gleaming glitter.

"You know." Van Helsing muttered. "I've killed a lot of vampires and such, it's usually pretty bloody. But somehow these deaths are just much more horrific." Buffy nodded in agreement, lifting her scythe-battle ax.

"Here come some more, they look annoyed." The medieval Dark Knight nodded, loading another canister of bolts into his crossbow and drawing his handheld buzz saw.

"Let's do this."

S&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;D

Rayne stomped into the house of mirrors, Selene trailing behind her.

"Don't even have fangs! Sparkling bastards." The dhampir muttered to herself.

She glanced around her, her eyes coming to a stop mirror in front of her. In the reflection she saw two vampires sneaking up behind her, smirking.

The pair of vampires leapt at her, only to impale themselves on her arm blades as she held them out behind her. Rayne sighed.

"You even have reflections. I mean…I don't even… how the hell are you vampires again?"

"I'll show you vampires, bitch!" She looked up at the voice. A vampire was falling from the ceiling. Swearing she tried to shake the vampire corpses from her blades.

She couldn't manage it in time, the vampire was able to slam into her. Before she could react, his teeth were sinking into her arm

The vampire pulled back, smirking at her. "I hope you're ready bitch. Cause I'm gonna eat you-"

His monologue was interrupted when Selene stalked up behind him and stuck her knife through his brain.

Rayne snarled as the vampire blood covered her. She didn't want to be tainted by the sparklyness. She tried to push him off her, but her muscles wouldn't obey her. "Why the hell can't I move?"

"These things have venomous bites. They paralyze what their prey." Selene answered.

"How the hell do you know that?"

"As I said earlier, I read the dossier Grandmaster gave us. You can read can't you?"

"Go to hell."

"Don't worry. We'll help you with that." All the mirrors in the room got pushed forward, shattering against the ground; revealing a dozen sparklies, baring their teeth and cracking their knuckles. Rayne rolled her eyes, glaring at them in her frozen position.

"How long have you assholes been hiding behind those mirrors?"

"Only a couple of hours."

"Shut up Liam." The lead vampire snarled. "And you shut up too." He finished, glaring at the pair of vampire slayers. Selene just gazed at him calmly.

"Tell me, vampire." She began, wiping the gore off her dagger on Rayne's clothes. "Do you believe in luck?"

"The hell are you talking about?"

"You just broke quite a few mirrors. That's quite a few years of bad luck."

The vampire snorted. "I don't believe in luck."

"You should." Selene brought her sword up "Breaking those mirrors meant that you met me."

"Kill them both!" three vampires surged forwards. Selene sidestepped the first one, pulling out a gun, placing its barrel against his ear and blowing his brain out. The second died when her blade flicked outwards, stabbing up through its nose into his brain. She lashed outwards with a snap kick, slamming her boot into the third suckers face and splatting his nose across his face.

"Hey Rayne, are you going to make yourself useful any time soon?"

"Shut up! You British bitch."

"I'll take that as a no." Selene performed a spin, firing off several rounds of bullets that pierced the skulls of the surrounding vampires. When she was done she turned and faced the leader. "Any last words?"

"You can't do this to me! I'm a badass vampire! We're really strong and stuff!"

"If you say so." She shot him. She looked down at his body for a moment before turning back to her partner. She watched with an amused smirk on her face as Rayne struggle through the paralysis.

"Are you making any progress?" 

"I totally am, check this out!" Rayne snapped, forcefully moving her hand around and flipping Selene off.

"Charming."

S&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;D

"You think you can get away with this Human? We're- gack."

Blade bulled his sword out of the vampire's throat.

"That makes thirty seven." He muttered, looking up at the gate of the castle. The portcullis was down and the gate was closed.

"Humph. This door is probably going to put up a better fight then these sparkly idiots." He muttered looking around for something to use.

His eyes alighted when they spotted something half hidden behind a hotdog stand.

S&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;D

Buffy and Van Helsing were panting hard, staggering towards the castle. The vampires had actually fought pretty hard, their super speed and tough flesh actually made them somewhat challenging. They might have won if they hadn't been stopping to pose dramatically and grin at the pair menacingly.

"Ouch! Dammit bitch! Carry me properly."

"I wouldn't have to carry you, if you had been more careful." The duo looked up as Rayne and Selene came staggering out from behind a whack-a-mole machine. Selene was supporting a wobbly Rayne, who was walking stiff legged and swearing up a storm.

"You two are looking well." Said Van Helsing, catching their attention. He nodded towards the paralyzed dhampir. "What's wrong with her?"

"The fool got herself bitten."

"Ah. The paralyzing venom."

"The what?" asked Buffy.

"It was in the dossier." The two hunters replied.

Buffy turned to Rayne. "Don't you have a healing factor or something?"

"I do. But I need to drink some blood to activate it and Ms. British won't give me any."

"There are plenty vampires around. I've offered to get you some of their blood."

"Do I look like I want to choke on glitter?"

Van Helsing pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to Rayne. "Here, you can drink this." Rayne stared at it, then looked back at the hunter.

"I thought you were completely human?"

"I am." The man nodded. "But there are many a monster that can be lured in by a bag of blood. It's useful."

"Weird… is it fresh?"

"Probably not. Would you rather suck on one of these twilight vampires?"

"Point taken." The dhampir bit into the bag and sucked out the contents. In a few seconds she was walking properly again. "Whose blood was this anyways?"

"Mine. Anyone else would whine too much about giving it to me."

"Has any one ever told you you're creepy?"

"Can we get back on topic? We need to get into the castle and finish off the rest of the vampires." Said Buffy.

The four slayers turned around the corner and stopped.

"Well at least Blade is having fun." Selene mused.

The doors to the gate were hanging off their hinges, and the portcullis was a pile of twisted scrap metal.

There was also a monster truck shoved halfway through the doors.

"What was a monster truck doing in a Disney theme park?" asked Buffy.

"Who cares? We got stuff to kill." The four pressed forward without another word.

S&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;D

"Sixty-seven, sixty-eight." Blade muttered, ripping off a vampire's head, and blasting out another's brain. These vampires were a pretty shabby lot, too much teen drama, not enough effort at actually being a vampire; that was their problem.

Good thing his guns were such good problem solvers.

The Daywalker glanced around; spotting a big pair of doors that just screamed 'open me'. He stomped over and kicked them open.

"So Mr. Slayer. You've finally come to the slaughter." The voice echoed around the hall, or it tried to anyway, the voice was thin, whiney, and lacked the necessary booming quality to truly project.

The speaker was sitting on a glittery throne at the end of the hall. He had some he was flanked by several vampires and a brunet sitting next to him looking bored. Hey! Wait a second… Blade reached into his back pocket and pulled out his crumpled dossier, opening to the first page he looked at the picture, then vamp, who was frowning from being ignored.

"I said, you've finally come to the slaughter."

"I heard you the first time, you little twerp. You're that sparkly bitch Edward, right?"

"What? How dare you! I'm an awesome vampire who's really strong."

"Tell you what you little twit. Why don't I just put a bullet in your head, and we call it a day?"

Edward stood up and pointed at the Daywalker. "Kill the trespasser." The vampires around him shot him weird looks.

"I forget, when did we agree that you were in charge?"

"When we found out that I sparkle the most." 

"That doesn't strike me as a good way to determine leadership."

"Oh shut up and kill him."

The vampire was about to reply, but then his head imploded. Blade had taken advantage of their argument to cross the hall and start killing things.

"Hey, we weren't ready yet!"

"Shut it, ya damn sparkly piece of shit." Blade started spinning, shooting off a barrage of bullets all around the hall. Vampires rushed him, only to have their heads blown off. Their supposed diamond-hard skin was somehow weakened by their own wishy-washiness.

The girl on the thrown yelped, throwing herself out of the way of a stray shotgun blast, yelling "Jacob! Help!"

"You got it Bella!" Something hit Blade in the back and knocked him off balance, he turned firing a couple shots and backed off. There was a wolf in front of him, growling and somehow smirking.

Oh yeah. The werewolves.

The werewolf leaped forward, but was knocked out of the air as several spikes appeared in its neck. The Daywalker glanced over to the entrance. The others slowpokes had finally caught up, about time. Van Helsing was leveling his crossbow at the werewolf, firing a few more bolts at the werewolf.

The wolf howled, and a chorus answered it. Several dozen wolves poured out of the side chambers. Snarling at the intruders.

Selene glared at them. She disliked werewolves. Immensely.

"I'll handle the wolves. The rest of you, get the vamps." Whipping out her guns, her bullets joined the bolts flying through the air. Rayne and Buffy nodded, charging across the hall and joining Blade. Edward had grabbed Bella and retreated, disappearing through a back door with a sign that said EMPLOYEES ONLY. Without a word, Blade blew it off its hinges and charged through, Buffy and Rayne a step behind. The wolves tried to follow, but Van Helsing chucked an orb at the throne. The sphere exploded, leaving a wall of fire blocking the entrance. The wolves were forced back, growling in rage.

The lead wolf stepped forward, form rippled, taking the shape of a muscular teen. "Hope you two are ready to die." The youth reached up and pulled out the bolts sticking out of him, the wounds sealing up behind them.

"Either put a shirt on, or turn back into a wolf, I don't want to look at you." Selene snarled. Werewolves seriously ticked her off. The guy snarled, shifting back into a wolf. Selene got back to the back with Van Helsing.

"Just so you know, I'm out of bullets." She muttered, dropping her guns.

"That's okay, I just ran out of bolts." The hunter's crossbow joined her guns. He reached downward, and pulled out one of his buzz saw. He also pulled out a little orb. "Let's just improvise." He dropped the orb, which burst into a cloud of smelly yellow gas. It didn't smell too bad too Selene, but the werewolves immediately shrieked, covering their noses and yelping.

She nodded and charged forward, arm blades spinning, filling the air with a savage hum.

S&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;D

"Get back here you sparkly little bitch!" Rayne roared, running after the fleeing vampires.

"NO! You people don't play fair!" Edward replied, running up some stairs with Bella in his arms.

"We're not supposed to be fair. We're supposed to kill you!" Rayne's ranting got interrupted as several vampires jumped out and attacked her. She fought back, snarling and sending more bullets flying.

Blade and Buffy kept on running, trying to catch up with the fleeing pair. When they got to the top of the stairs Buffy cocked her arm back and sent her scythe flying. The blade chopped into Edward's leg and brought the pair crashing to the ground. Bella leapt to her feet and kept running.

"Bella, wait for me!"

"Don't worry Ed. I believe in you."

"But…" he was interrupted when Blade grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and hurled him into a wall. Buffy went rushing past after Bella, snatching her scythe as she passed.

Edward turned to the Daywalker and snarled. "I'm gonna teach you not to mess with vampires old man!" he leapt forward, using his superhuman speed, and slammed his fist into the Daywalker's face. He smirked. But the smug looked faltered when Blade didn't even budge. It disappeared completely when Blade's hands locked around his neck, lifting him off his feet.

Blade, glared at him, his eyes boring a hole in the vampire through broken sunglasses.

"Kid… you should not have messed with the shades." Blade reached into his pocket and pulled out a syringe filled with a vivid blue liquid. He held it before the mesmerized vampire's eyes, and plunged the needle into Edward's throat. Them, with a sense of finality, he pushed in the plunger.

The Daywalker dropped Edward and stepped backward. Edward just sat there, clutching his neck, looking up at the hunter.

"Was that supposed to do something? GAAA!" Edward clutched his throat, his skin had started to roil beneath his fingers, his blood starting to bubble in his veins.

Then he exploded, a cloud of glitter filling the air.

Blade just looked at the sparkly death with a look of disgust.

"Vampires are not supposed to fuckin' sparkle."

S&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;D

Buffy quickly caught up to the fleeing Bella and leapt into the air, tackling her to the ground. The Slayer quickly got on top and pinned Bella to the ground. Bella shrieked, scratching at her assailant's eyes.

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"One, because I think we're getting paid. And two, you are giving heroines everywhere a bad name."

She brought the scythe up and then jammed it downward, piercing Bella's chest. With every ounce of her strength, she desperately attempted to permanently remove the pathetic character's taint from the realm of literature.

S&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;D

"I'll admit, I'm impressed, these little buzz-saws are quite ingenious." Said Selene. She and Van Helsing were sitting on a pile of slain werewolves, comparing weapons.

"Thanks, I like these anti-werewolf guns, miss. Though they don't seem incredibly practical. With a grip like that, it's a wonder you manage to hit anything at all."

"I have superhuman abilities."

"Ah."

"Sorry about killing you by the way."

"It's alright, I don't think I can hold being killed against you, considering I am in fact, still alive."

Their conversation was interrupted as they began to glow. In a wink, the castle around them disappeared.

When the world came back into focus, the slayers fund themselves once more in the Realm of The Table. Buffy, Blade, and Rayne were also sitting at the there.

Grandmaster was sitting at the table, beaming at them. "Well done everybody, this was such fun. We really must do this again some time. Goodbye. The world shifted again, and the table disappeared.

S&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;DS&amp;D

And that's all folks. That was fun, but I wish Heroman hadn't made me research Twilight to do it.

Let us know what you thought.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**IMPORTANT AN:** Heroman45 here, just letting everyone know that there is a new poll on my profile for future battles. I'm entering study time for semester finals, so it might take a bit longer than usual to get in the next fight. In that time, please vote so I can figure out just what fight to make for you guys.


	19. Professional Badasses

**Superhuman Fight Club**

**Heroes and villains from every dimension have one thing in common. They thoroughly enjoy beating each other up. Whether they protect the streets in shadows, stand tall as a symbol of heroism, thrive off of stealing from the less fortunate, or let out a maniacal laugh as they slaughter the innocents, all fight for what they believe in. But the question is, in a fight with no rules, who is left standing? We will take various versions of these characters from any and all realms of media to see if we can find an answer. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

AN: Before I begin, I just want to address a very common question that I've been getting lately. "What do you think of Deathbattle, did you base this story off of it?" I'll answer the second bit first, I did partially base this off of Deathbattle, however I personally would rather be compared to Deadliest Warrior. As for what I think of Deathbattle, I find them very enjoyable, however I do not really trust them for accuracy. Out of the currently 40 episodes, I disagree or highly question the results of 16 of those fights. I won't go into specifics, but the show ignores some abilities and powers of the characters involved, giving them an unfair disadvantage in the battles. They also have a habit of taking a character with multiple versions, combining them all into one character, and then setting them against a character with only one version. This gives the fusion character additional abilities, far greater experience, and in some cases it can remove weaknesses that might otherwise be their downfall. In two particular fights they used characters who technically can't die or are already dead, stacking the battle unfairly so it is impossible for the opponent to win. Also, even with the fight results that I do agree with, some of them are clear stomps, one character has such a big advantage that the other should realistically be no serious threat to the other in the slightest. When trying to determine characters' stats, the people have a habit of using instances of Plot Induced Stupidity, points that are inconsistent with what the character has shown to be capable of done for the sake of plot, and these can give characters a massive power boost that would otherwise not make any sense. All in all, while it is an enjoyable show, I do not feel that they accurately portray the characters that they are using. If anyone wants to discuss with me in detail about what I mean, feel free to send me a PM. Otherwise, here's the chapter!

Chapter 19: Professional Badasses

No matter who wins this one, I'm pretty much guaranteed to get at least one review or PM telling me just how wrong I am. The fanboy levels of these two series is insane, and with only one character walking away alive, someone is gonna be pissed. These guys are insane, both have made it their profession to go around killing Gods and other supernatural beings. One is a slick, wisecracking vigilante, the other is a raging, psychotic killer. Dear readers, prepare yourselves, Dante and Kratos have entered the ring.

Kratos, the ultimate Spartan and the God of War, a being of unrivaled rage and bloodlust. Many are not sure whether to pity or loathe this guy for his actions, you're going to get some mixed reviews when you singled-handedly and unintentionally caused the apocalypse.

Kratos made a deal with the God of War Ares to protect his home and family from invasion. He was able to successfully save his country. Then he was sent into a bloody frenzy when attacking an enemy stronghold. When he finally came to, he was standing over the corpses of his wife and daughter who should not have been there. His body became covered with the ashes of his dead wife and child, and then he began his epic quest of vengeance. Kratos killed pretty much every single noticeable figure in Greek Mythology, ranging from Hercules to Zeus, and from Gaia to Kronos. Every one of them fell before Kratos in his rampage…except for Aphrodite, because reasons.

Kratos has collected a massive arsenal of weapons throughout his quests, many of which give him new magical powers and abilities. His total number of powers have been listed at over forty separate abilities…though for some reason one of them is listed as "attractive male." Cause yeah, that's a power. All the ladies want to bang the crazy god-slaying psychopath, right? Wait…

Anyways, Kratos' USEFUL powers include limited elemental manipulation, super durability, a healing factor, and enough physical strength to beat up Hercules and out muscle a Titan. As the demigod son of Zeus he is far more powerful than any mortal, and his training as a Spartan has left him with great sword skill and tactical ability. His weapons range from the deadly Blades of Exile to the Bow of Apollo, granting him a wide variety of powerful ranged attacks. He has numerous magical spells at his command, and some of his equipment can boost his physical abilities, such as the Boots of Hermes which boost his agility and the Golden Fleece that can reflect projectiles. The wings of Icarus grant him the ability to fly, and Nemean Cestus can unleash a powerful shockwave. He can run up walls, summon the spirits of the dead, and even temporarily make himself indestructible by channeling the fury of the gods/titans/himself or whatever he happens to be fighting for at the time.

His most deadly weapon is the Blade of Olympus. This weapon contains all of the godly powers that Kratos wielded when he was the God of War, and thus has enough power within it to kill Gods itself. In fact, it is the weapon that finally allowed him to "kill" himself. Even though that little end credit scene hints pretty heavily on the fact that he still didn't die. Not for any logical reason or anything, just so they could leave that particular cash cow open ended in case they came up with any more ideas.

Kratos once also had the ability to travel through time, however this was a one off ability, and is cheap enough that it will not be used in this battle. Because how fun would "Kratos travels back in time and prevents Dante from being born" be? Could he do this? Theoretically yes, there is nothing to stop him. But it still isn't happening.

Now then, with that settled, let's move on to Dante. Ignoring the most recent game of the series (seeing as it has NOTHING to do with the original series), we will be focusing on what comes from the core games of this series. Like Kratos, he has an insanely large list of powers and abilities. And for some reason, Attractive Male is on THIS list too! Seriously? Maybe I should start looking into other resources for when I'm studying up on these fights…

Anyways, Dante has managed to take on and kill some Gods of his own, including Mundas and Argosax. He is the son of Sparda, a powerful demon that sided with humanity over his own kind. As a result he has incredible superhuman abilities, including regeneration, super speed, a fast enough reaction time to slice bullets out of the air, and super strength exceeding that of 100 tons. His timeline with the games is a bit messed up though, Capcom seems to have a bit of trouble counting. In order of continuity, the games go 3, 1, 4, 2, with an animated series throw right in the middle there somewhere. An animated series I never bothered to watch or research at all…moving on.

Dante's main weapon is his sword, a massive magical blade that was passed down to him from his father, a blade called Rebellion. He also owns a magical amulet that was given to him by his mother, an amulet that seems to let him harness the true power of his father. He also eventually gained his father's own personal weapon, the Sword of Sparda, which now contains all of Sparda's power. The rest of his arsenal consists of a variety of other magical swords, as well as twin pistol machine guns Ebony and Ivory, which fire off bullets powered by demonic energy. Finally, just for shits and giggles, he has a magical electric guitar that doubles as a doubled edged scythe that can shoot electricity. Sure, why not.

Eventually Dante surpassed his father, becoming even more powerful than the demon himself. He can unlock his full power in short bursts of lethal power, known as his Devil Trigger. There are a lot of different factors that influence how the Devil Trigger will work, ranging from what weapons he is using, the power he has stored up, and the demon he is channeling. For this match though, he will be using only his most powerful, the Sparda Trigger. While wielding the Sword of Sparda and unleashing his true power, Dante is coated in a red aura and black, winged armor. He is able to fly around, is practically invincible, and can throw freaking _fire dragons_ at his opponent. He doesn't just throw a fire ball, he throws a FLAMING DRAGON. In terms of sheer awesomeness, that wins.

So it comes down to two man, both masters at slaying the supernatural. Both wield a blade with the power of a god level being, and both are the deadliest mortal of their respective universe. So will the wisecracking smart-ass pull off the win, or with the brutal rage machine be too much to handle? Time to find out, here we go!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Deep in the confines of the realm of the dead, a meeting was taking place. Massive figures huddled together in a rough circle, a collection of over a dozen beings, many of who had been enemies while in life. Now though, each and every one of them was united for a single desire.

Revenge.

The beings had all been powerful in life, legendary heroes, powerful Titans, and even the Gods themselves. Despite their immense power though, each and everyone had been brutally murdered, torn to bloody pieces by the man who had become a God, Kratos. They had tried to control him, then to contain him, and then finally they struggled desperately to destroy him. But no matter what they did, no matter how hard they fought, no matter how powerful or massive they had been, the Spartan had killed each and every one of them.

Zeus, Poseidon, Hades, Hermes, Cronos, Gaia, and all of the rest of Kratos' victims had discovered that, like Athena, they still had a very limited amount of power even after death, and combine together that power would be just enough for their purposes.

"I would just like to say that making him a God was your fault in the first place Zeus."

"Shut up Ares, you're the one who sent him on his original angry rampage."

"We all have a hold over our own small bit of creation, but never before have we ever all united like this. With this much power all brought to bear, we should be able to wipe that Spartan bastard straight out of reality itself." Hades smirked to himself, looking around at the rest of the assembled deities, taking in the looks of hatred and rage on all of their faces.

"What of the rest of the planet though? That much power released at once, it might wipe everything out." The attention turned to Poseidon, the reactions of the crowd ranging from indifference to disdain.

"For what reason would we save the planet. It has already been corrupted far past the point of saving, and we have no way of undoing the damage our deaths have caused. It's better to just allow the world to start anew. A dark age is coming, and mankind will have to figure out what to do on its own. They may live, or they may die. But what matters is that we make sure that Kratos dies.

Zeus' powerful voice silenced everyone, then slowly everyone gave a nod. The plan would go through, and Kratos would finally perish.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The cursed demigod wandered across the land, a dark cloak pulled over his head. For the first time in years, he had no clear objective. He was victorious, every single opponent he had challenged now lay dead, the same as all of his friends, family, and allies. Even Athena had stopped conversing with him after he released Hope into the world.

Yet he had survived his own attempt at death, and that told him it was not yet time for him to join his wife and child in the next realm. There was still something else he must accomplish, some other battle that he must be the victor of, some other being that he needed to kill.

So Kratos kept marching, with no real destination in mind. One step after another, carrying on for hours, then days, then weeks. Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot, left fo-

Kratos' foot continued downwards, sliding straight through the ground beneath him. The Spartan's eyes widened in shock as the ground suddenly vanished, revealing a pure white glowing hole beneath him. Kratos tried to throw himself backwards, but some force yanked him forwards instead sending him into the hole. With a cry of the rage the former God of War vanished, swallowed up into the Earth. But like every other attempt by the Gods to kill him, everything did not go according to plan.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Devil May Cry, what do you need?" Trish listened to the caller, trying to decipher what was being said through his panicked cries.

"A massive spike of interdimensional energy, and you think it might mean that some sort of demon has escaped into our world? Haven't heard that one in a while… Alright, we are on the case." The blonde hung up the phone with a sigh, she had been planning on going to the mall and now it looked like she had work. Unless…

"Hey Dante! I just got a job for you, possible demon invasion down by that abandoned church! I'm going out, I'll meet up with you over their when I'm done, have fun!" The demon woman was out the door in a flash, leaving a freshly awoken white haired man shaking his head in exasperation.

"Just when our accounts are starting to get out of the negatives, she's off to go preemptively blow our paycheck on more useless clothes. Well, maybe they aren't ALL completely useless…" Dante slid on his red trench coat, then grabbed up all of his weapons, sliding them into their respective holsters and sheaves one by one. He glanced over towards the rack where his father's sword usually lay, it looked like Trish had decided to take it with her once again. Shrugging, Dante headed out and began to make his way towards the disturbance. Hopefully he would be able to get in a decent workout for once.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kratos smashed straight through the church's roof with a cry of rage. He shattered the table beneath him into splinters, and sent the gang members and all of their coke scattering.

"HEY! WHAT THE HELL MAN! YOU JUST WRECKED 5K WORTH OF OUR PRODUCT! I'M GONNA TEAR YOU A NEW ONE FOR THAT!" The hood pulled out a long shank from his pocket, and the other 5 gangsters followed suit, a variety of knives and blades shinning in the dim light. Kratos looked around at the men surrounding him, taking in their unimpressive daggers and their frail cloth armor. He slowly shrugged off his thick clock, revealing pale white skin, blood red markings, and glowing golden armor.

Some god or gods was pulling shenanigans again, someone was going to bleed for this.

"Come weaklings, your deaths shall be shift." The Ghost of Sparta's arm lashed out, smashing into the first thugs head so hard it spun around to face backwards with a sharp crack. Then the Blades of Exile were out, chains whirling and blades flashing as the gangsters suddenly found themselves under attack. Fountains of blood exploded from their bodies, and their screams of pain and terror were quickly extinguished.

The former War God looked around at the pile of corpses as they lay sprawled out in a lake of their own blood. He sneered in disgust at the men, they had acted so tough, yet their skill as warriors was inferior to that of the average Spartan prepubescent.

Whatever was trying to kill him would have to do a much better job.

Shaking his head, Kratos made his way to the entrance of the building and pushed the doors open. Then he stopped in shock, taking in the massive buildings of glass and steel, each one higher than that of any of the buildings in any of the mighty cities of Greece.

"Where… where am I. What deity has seen fit to mess with my life this time?"

"Gods messing with your life huh? Welcome to the club." Kratos glanced around to see a man in a red jacket sitting on the rooftop behind him. The man glanced back behind him, then looked back down towards Kratos again.

"Fun with portals huh? I'm not the only one to see the irony of a demon getting blasted into the middle of an abandon church am I? What kind of demon are you anyways? I can't say I've ever encountered an albino hell spawn before. The closest thing would probably have to be my twin brother, but that comparison might actually be insulting to the albinos."

The Ghost of Sparta glared up at the Son of Sparda, an expression of pure rage on his face. "You would do better than to insult me, or you shall end up like the pitiful scum lying dead beneath your feet."

"So you killed a couple of two-bit street thugs and I'm supposed to be impressed? Dude, the monsters that little kids see under their beds are scarier than you. Please tell me you are the advance scout for some sort of big demon baddie, because I really don't want to hear that I just rushed across half the city just for you."

"Foolish man, I am no demon! I am Kratos, both son and slayer of Zeus! I grow tired of both you, and this place. You were aware of how I got here, so you must know how I can return! Tell me what I know, or I shall separate you from your head!" The Blades of Exile were once again in Kratos' hands, and his muscles coiled, ready for what he could sense was an inevitable battle. He was just waiting for the white haired man to make a move. Dante obliged him.

"Slayer of Zeus huh? Never heard that one before, I'll give you originality points for your particular brand of crazy. But whatever you are, I'm afraid that I can't let you go running around terrorizing the poor idiots who live here." The demon hunter pulled Rebellion out from it's sheathe and draped it across his shoulder.

"Now then, showtime!"

**BATTLE MUSIC: CULT TO FOLLOW-LEAVE IT ALL BEHIND**

Kratos lashed out with his blades, the chains sending them hurtling through the air to lash straight through the building were Dante had been standing. The Son of Sparda sidestepped the attack, then stepped forwards and let gravity take him down off the roof. The Blades of Exile swung around, flashing out, missing their target once again as he sway off to the side. Smirking, the demi-demon burst forwards, lashing out with his own massive sword straight for the Greek's throat. Kratos turned sideways, using his Golden Fleece to stop the sword dead. Then he lashed outwards, tossing Dante to the side like he was made of paper. Dante flew backwards into the church, crashing into the pews.

The swordsman flipped one of the benches around in midair, spinning it to face the entrance. He landed on top of it with a loud thud, sliding the bench backwards and coming to a rest draped backwards across it.

"Huh. Somebody remembered to eat their spinach I see." Dante vanished a second before the Blades of Exile smashed into the bench, blasting splinters all across the room. Kratos saw his opponent's sword still lying across the bench and scoffed, no warrior should allow himself to be parted from his weapon. The Son of Sparta reappeared up in the church's rafters, a smirk on his face as he aimed both of his guns down at the former God of War. A single shot rang out through the building, followed by a sharp cry of surprise and pain as Kratos suddenly found himself with a small bleeding hole in his shoulder. He dived in to cover as Dante unleashed his weapons in a fully automatic burst, tearing massive chunks out of the decaying wood.

Kratos popped back up the second the gunfire ended, the Bow of Apollo pulled back to its fully length, green fire dancing on the arrow tip. Dante vanished once again in another burst of speed as the spot he had been standing in erupted into Greek fire. The decaying building was unable to handle the blaze, and the dry city air didn't help matters. As Kratos kept firing off his arrows at the demon hunter, the church building was completely consumed in an ever expanding inferno.

Kratos pulled back the bow once more, scanning for where Dante had vanished. Then the demon hunter was right on top of him. A single bullet sliced through the string of bow, misfiring the arrow and sending it flying sideways. Before Kratos could react Dante's foot was buried in his gut, propelling him backwards to land amidst the flames. Dante then dashed towards the exit, firing bullets at the few remaining building supports that had yet to be caught up in the blaze. He cleared the building just as it began to sag, and then the entire building collapsed.

"All in all, not that impressive for someone claiming to have killed a God. If that was one of their strongest, then I guess I know why they got conquered so easily." Dante cocked his head as he watched the blaze, trying to shift his neck in a way to crack an uncomfortable kink in it.

Then the wreckage exploded outwards.

"RRAAAAGH!" Kratos burst forth from the wreckage. The Boots of Hermes glowed golden, and the Son of Zeus shot forwards like a cannon, his fist cocked back, the nemean cestus rippling with power. Dante had no time to react before the leonine gauntlet slammed into his head, the shockwave cracking pavement beneath him and sending him flying backwards.

Kratos formed a grin of pure, uncontrollable bloodlust when he saw the large red smear covering the nemean cestus. With a cry of rage he summoned a mass of lightning, sending it hurtling after the Son of Sparda. The area around were he had landed detonated in a massive flash of light, sending up a massive plume of smoke. Kratos gave a satisfied grunt and turned away, walking back over towards the church and pulling his opponents blade out from the rubble of the destroyed church. He checked the blade over, seeing if it was worth keeping as a souvenir of yet another vanquished foe.

"Hey dumbass, with an attack like that you should make sure you actually hit the other guy before turning away, just a helpful tip. I mean sure, you pack a wallop, but you clearly need some help in the brain department. Kratos scowled at the form of Dante, now standing less than a yard to his left, completely uninjured and with that same arrogant smirk on his face.

With a snarl of rage, the Boots of Hermes flashed once again, and Kratos threw himself straight at Dante, burying the demi-demon's own blade into his chest. The smirk disappeared into a grimace of pain as the blade punched out through his back. He balled his fist and slammed it into Kratos, sending the demigod flying with a burst of concentrated magic. Kratos rolled to his feet to see Dante yank the blade from his chest, the wound quickly sealing itself shut as it did so.

"Damn, would you believe that this was actually the sixth time that I've been impaled like that? In fact that was like, the third or fourth time that I got impaled by my own sword. I've taken it to mean that when someone manages to do that to me, that they are actually a somewhat competent opponent. In your case though, it's mostly just because I wanted my sword back."

Kratos tuned out Dante's taunting voice, and instead focused on Dante's chest, watching as what should have been a completely lethal strike completely healed over.

"Tricky coward, you substitute healing ability for actual skill. I've had enough of this mockery of a battle, let's see if you can heal after being struck with the power of the Gods themselves!" Kratos drew forth the Blade of Olympus, and Dante let out a low whistle when he saw the blue aura flare to life.

"Pretty fancy magic sword you got there. I think I'll hang on to it after I kill you, might mount it on my wall. Actually, better idea, I'll give it to my sidekick to hang on to, I'm sure she'll appreciate me giving her another badass sword like that." The God of War snarled and charged, his speed boosted once again by the power of his boots. This time though, Dante dodged the attack, and the next three that follow. Then he punched Kratos in the face.

The demigod staggered back, giving his head a shake. This fool talked and fought like Hermes. Dodging every attack and making mocking comments, although he did hit harder than the pathetic messenger god.

Kratos would just have to rip his legs off as well.

Dante moved in, leaning out of the way of another of Kratos' wild swings and landing a shallow gash across his chest. "There you go buddy, a bit of color like that makes you look so much better." Kratos grimaced, launching one of the Blades of Exile, whipping it forwards to wrap around Dante's blade. He pulled backwards, pulling Dante towards him. The white haired man was barely able to twist his body out of the way to avoid getting impaled yet again, but the godly sword was still able to leave a bloody furrow across his chest.

Dante was forced to drop his sword to dodge a follow-up swing, dodging a slice to his throat by mere centimeters. He leapt backwards, smirking once more, "Did you forget I can heal?" He glanced downward, and the smirk left his face.

The cut wasn't healing.

"Alright then, you have just graduated from an entertaining distraction to a potentially lethal nuisance. Congratulations, here's your prize." Dante's drew both his pistols, firing a half dozen shots off in quick at the demigod.

Kratos had learned his lesson, bringing the Golden Fleece to bare the instant he saw the ranged weapons, the armor began to glow as it bounced the bullets straight back at the Son of Sparda. Dante grunted as the bullets ruined his jacket. He glared back at Kratos just in time to see the demigod hurl Rebellion out towards the city, far away from where he would be able to retrieve it without having to disengage from the battle.

"Okay, now I'm starting to get a little bit pissed." Seeing his guns useless and his sword now somewhere in the city's suburbs, Dante pulled out the last of the weapons he had brought with him, his electric guitar. Sparks danced along the musical weapon as Dante played a few chords, grinning at the scowl on his opponents face. Then he dashed in, swinging the weapon straight towards the demigod's head. Kratos parried with the Blade of Exile, gritting his teeth in pain when the magical electricity shocked him through his own sword, leaving his entire left arm numb. He countered with Blade of Olympus, but Dante was able to dodge out of the way once more. He sidestepped so that he was positioned behind the former God of War, his fingers rapidly dancing across the strings of the instrument.

"Keeping it stylish!" The area around the two combatants exploded in a massive burst of electricity, sending Kratos flying in a mass of blue lightning. Dante followed, swinging downwards with the guitars blade, aiming straight down towards his pale throat. Kratos just snarled and brought the Blade of Olympus up to counter. The two magical weapons clashed, and Dante let out a cry of shock and pain as the godly weapon sliced straight through the guitar and buried itself deep into his side.

Dante staggered backwards in pain, the weapon's magic wreaking havoc on his demon blood. Kratos forced himself to his feet, his face a mask of pain as his nervous system tried to recover from his massive shock. The Son of Sparda glanced around, he was out of usable weapons, and now for the first time in his life he was in danger of bleeding out. Whatever magic was in that glowing blue blade was messing with his own powers, he couldn't even activate one of his Devil Triggers right now. Kratos lunged forwards and Dante was forced to dive out of the way, rolling himself to his feet and reaching for his pistols once more. He stopped before clearing them from the holster though, Kratos was already shifting the Fleece to counter the attack.

Kratos grinned as his foe hesitated, dashing forwards for what he hoped would be the final blow. Instead, he found himself stumbling off balance as someone used his head as a springboard.

Dante watched with amusement as the newcomer sauntered over to his side, Rebellion hanging over her shoulder.

"Finish your shopping already Trish?"

"It got cut short early when your sword flew in through the window and almost impaled the cashier lady. I barely managed to get her out of the way in time. After that though, she decided to give me everything I was buying for free, so I decided to swing by and give your sword back. Having fun?"

"I don't suppose I could briefly borrow my dad's sword, could I?"

"That much fun huh? Alright then, you take the sword, I'll hold on to Rebellion, and I'll trade you back when you're done. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go try and find a nice place to watch." Trish dashed off, leaving Dante hold his the massive Sword of Sparda. Immediately he could feel the power of the blade, the magic working his way into his body. He looked down to see the wounds that had been left by the Blade of Olympus heal over, albeit still slower than usual. Then he watched as five flaming arrows buried themselves into his chest.

"Do not ignore your opponent boy!" Kratos rushed in, swinging his sword in a deadly pattern, striking out at every angle as fast as he possible could. Dante batted the blows aside, countering and parrying, the smirk quickly returning to his face.

"Alright buddy, don't worry you now have my full attention. In fact, I think it's time for me to really cut loose!" Dante's whole body suddenly erupted in a red aura, firing off a shockwave that sent Kratos reeling. When he returned to his feet Dante was covered from head to toe in black, winged armor. Kratos grinned as he took in his opponent's new form.

"I have seen this before, many past foes tried exactly this when they felt their death approaching. It did not save them, and it will not save you!" Kratos dashed swung out with both Blades of Exile, sending them hurtling towards the armored man. Dante caught a blade in each hand and took off the ground, flying straight up. Kratos could do nothing to resist as he suddenly found himself being dragged through the air by the weapons that had been bound to him. When the two men were high over the city Dante released the blades and reversed course, flying straight down and smashing a metal fist into the demigod's face. Kratos let out a howl of pain as he felt his jaw shatter, throwing his descent out of control. He managed to orient himself just as Dante returned, the Sword of Sparda slicing through the air. Kratos tried to counter with the Blade of Olympus, but his swing missed, and the demonic blade hit its target. The God of War's arm went flying away in an arc of blood, leaving him to stare dumbly at the stump before colliding heavily with the ground.

Dante watched from above, slack-jawed, as his opponent slowly rose to his feet, his right arm still clutching the Blade of Olympus, still ready to fight.

"What's it going to take to keep this guy down? I wonder if this is what my opponents always feel like when they are trying to kill me. Good thing this guy doesn't have a healing factor. Better finish him now. Here goes!" Dante dived straight downwards, his arms outstretched and his hands glowing. A massive golden dragon burst forth, roaring as it rushed straight downwards towards Kratos.

Kratos looked at the incoming attack and smiled. His opponent had underestimated him, and it was going to cost him. He brought the Golden Fleece up one final time, straight up into the maw of the beast. The impact of the collision sent him hurtling backwards, but he dug in his feet and shoved back, the power of the Fleece prevailed. Dante watched as his own ultimate attack was rebounded straight back towards him.

"Well, shit."

The explosion was massive, lighting up the area like a second sun. Trish watched from a distance, her mouth open in horror as she saw Dante's smoking form falling from the sky, the magical armor completely broken off from him. She dashed back across the street, arriving just in time to see his body create a new crater in the Earth. She began to make her way towards him, but stopped when she heard a groan off to her side.

Kratos' body was practically shattered, he had dozens of broken bones, and was bleeding all over from many cuts and gashes all over him. But there was still fire in his eyes, and the Blade of Olympus was now pressed up against the blonde demon's throat.

"As I said, you should never take your attention off of your enemy during combat. Now you are going to answer my questions, or you are going to die girl." Trish's eyes narrowed, and she carefully tightened her grip on Rebellion.

BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG

Kratos' remaining arm suddenly exploded, ripped apart by a sudden hail of glowing bullets. He let out a cry of pain, a cry that was suddenly silenced as a pair of guns were rammed into his mouth. Dante stood before him, looking truly angry for the first time in their encounter, while the blonde girl behind him wore his smirk.

"Jackpot."

BANG

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dante put the glowing Blade of Olympus down with the rest of Trish's weapons, right next to where she generally kept the Sword of Sparta. Trish walked over and hugged him from behind, her mouth right next to his ear.

"You always get me the best presents. I think you could do with a reward yourself. Though, next time maybe you could just kill the guy without the dramatic reappearance. I was about ready to start crying, thinking you were dead."

"That just should help you remind yourself who you are Trish. After all, devils never cry."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Alright, chapter is finished and I think I managed to work in every single one of Dante's catchphrases. Alright, so the two are basically equal in terms of skill, and while Kratos has the advantage in terms of equipment and durability, Dante's speed, regeneration, and magical variety give him the win. I know I didn't even touch half of what these guys both can do, however I really didn't feel like needlessly lengthening the chapter just to fit in every single one of their abilities.

Alright, the next fight might take a while for me to get around to writing. Two reasons for this. 1, I want to work on my other story some more, I've been neglecting it as I researched (went through their games) Dante and Kratos. 2, I need to read about 150 chapters worth of manga so that I'm caught up and now everything I need to include for a certain blonde ninja boy.

That's right, by popular demand, despite my not really wanting to do so, the next chapter is Goku VS Naruto. Expect puns, because there is no way I'll be able to write those two completely seriously. Until then, thanks for reading, and please leave a review!


	20. Goku vs Naruto

**Superhuman Fight Club**

**Heroes and villains from every dimension have one thing in common. They thoroughly enjoy beating each other up. Whether they protect the streets in shadows, stand tall as a symbol of heroism, thrive off of stealing from the less fortunate, or let out a maniacal laugh as they slaughter the innocents, all fight for what they believe in. But the question is, in a fight with no rules, who is left standing? We will take various versions of these characters from any and all realms of media to see if we can find an answer. **

**Disclaimer: If I owned these franchises, you can bet that this crossover would have happened on the big screen. **

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Chapter 20: Goku vs Naruto**

I dedicate this chapter to my obnoxious friend who has been constantly hounding me since I started writing this story to make this happen. I had no intention of making this chapter, but your persistence, along with the fan votes have finally made me cave. Congratulations, you win. She-Hulk, you want to start this up?

"Wait, wasn't S&amp;D supposed to post another chapter first? What happened to that plan?

He was… but then Deadpool kidnapped him or something, I didn't actually listen to S&amp;D's panicked call for help.

"…WHAT?!"

But now, here it is! I put it in the poll, thinking that nobody would want to see it, yet here it is! Tied for first place with Dante and Kratos! Ladies and Gentleman, and friends of all ages! I present to you, NARUTO VS GOKU!

Now, I'm going to be doing a VERY exaggerated version of my normal breakdown for these two, if you don't know who they are you've been living under a rock. Naruto comes from a world where orange is super stealthy and ninjas can blow up mountains. He has a super demon living inside of him, and they are best friends now. The demon can give him his power and either form an energy cloak, or a giant monster. He has made a contract to summon giant warrior toads, and he has learned a bunch of their techniques, giving him sage mode.

He is a "chosen one" which gave him the eyes of the sixth paths, though he has not shown that he can use all of them yet. But they do increase his power and let him fly.

"Why the hell is a ninja, the ultimate stealthy killer, flying through the sky and destroying mountains?"

Because it's awesome.

"But it makes no sense! Even in my crazy, messed up world, a ninja is a ninja!"

Sorry, can't hear you over the awesome!

"But it's so stupid!"

Awesome and stupid often go hand in hand. An army of ninjas going to war to stop a man from using a giant demon monster to turn the moon into a reflector to mind control the planet and ensure world peace sounds unbelievably stupid. But at the same time, it is also really awesome! I will admit though, that last fight dragged on WAY too long. I was actually getting a bit annoyed with it by the end.

"So it's stupid, right?"

Nope, still awesome.

"Ughhhhhh…"

Naruto can also make clones of himself, though they are a bit fragile. He can also make a whole variety of Rasengans, a sort of compressed chakra whirlwind. Plus he has some weird kunai with tags on them, and he can instantly teleport himself to the location of any of said tags.

"So he can do a whole lot of stuff, but let me guess, that's not all?"

Uhh… healing factor, enhanced durability, ridiculous stamina that doesn't really ever seem to end. He's only lost one fight before, and he beat up Sasuke at the end of the series anyways. The only real reason for the first loss was because the plot kind of demanded it.

"Great. So now, can we move on from the flying demon fox boy and start talking about the flying space monkey man?"

Goku, probably the most recognizable character in anime. Seeing as how he can bust planets and stuff, we've done some serious research to figure out what time period we should pull Goku from to make this a fair fight.

"Can't we just sic the Super Saiyan 3 on the ninja so we can go home early?"

If we leave early, then I don't get reviews and you don't get paid. I really want reviews.

"Fine, fine. So anyways, space monkey. What time period are we snatching him from?"

Well, I was going to pick from somewhere around the Saiyan saga. Despite constantly hearing that Naruto could beat up both Frieza and Super Saiyan Goku with barely any difficulty, I for one call bullshit. We'll use the Goku from just after training with King Kai. From all of the debate forums I've peaked at, and all of the fans I've talked to, this seems like the absolute strongest version of Goku that Naruto can match up with.

"Alright, so what can monkey boy do at that level?"

That…isn't exactly clear. For as great as Dragon Ball is, Toriyama is notorious for not fully explaining the limits of his characters, and for writing their power levels inconsistently.

"Whoa, did you seriously just diss your favorite series ever?"

I am comfortable with the fact that I like this series enough that I can point out some of the flaws in it without ruining things for me.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that when the fanboys and fangirls kick your door down."

I'll live... probably… All right, so Goku at this point is highly resistant to energy attacks, as seen with his battle against Piccolo just a few years prior. He is at least supersonic in terms of travel speed, and his reaction and combat speed are well above that. His body is extremely durable, bullets and bladed weapons have never been able to do any serious damage before. In fact, an ax shattered on his head when he was just a kid, and bullets were basically bee stings.

Goku can use his ki energy to fly, as well as fire it off in projectile form, most famously the Kamehameha wave. He can also use the Kaio-Ken, a very dangerous technique that temporarily allows you to multiple your power. However, the boost eats up your energy faster than a Yoshi, and if the move is mishandled then the user will blow themselves up. High risk, high reward.

Despite his naïve nature, Goku is a brilliant fighter. He is able to analyze and copy most techniques he has seen almost instantly, and he is able to find weaknesses in opponent's attacks and fighting styles with ease.

"Are you done yet?"

Actually there were a couple of other points I was going to bring up…

"Save it for the end, I thought you said you were going to make this the abbreviated version?"

This is the abbreviated version. In the long version, I spent a 1000 words summing up Naruto, and hadn't even brought up Goku at all yet.

"Fanboy."

Yep. Alright, so will the number one hyperactive knucklehead ninja be able to compete with the martial artist from space? Let's find out! Here we go!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

King Kai and Goku stood facing one another, the air between them literally glowing with power. Then with a flick of his antenna, the North God launched dozens of rocks at the Saiyan at lightning speeds. Goku reacted, contorting his body out of the way of the incoming projectile and countered, firing off a barrage of ki techniques to clear the air around him. The atmosphere was filled with dust and debris as the stone exploded, reducing visibility to nothing. Sensing for his ki signature, Goku was able to block the Gods next attack and slam him to the ground. He moved in to press the advantage, but stopped short when the blue fighter held up his hands in conceit.

"I have to say Goku, your power is growing at a far faster rate than I had predicted. You've made great progress with the kaio-ken, and while you haven't mastered it, your skill with the spirit bomb has increased immensely."

"Thanks King Kai! I've been working really hard for the past few months, I'm glad it's paying off!"

"Now we have a bit of a problem though. I want you to face an opponent to test your strength further before we move on to the final lesson for the spirit bomb, but I can't be the one to do so anymore. As such, I've been looking for an opponent that you can really cut loose against."

"Really? You're going to find me someone that strong?"  
"It's a big universe Goku, no matter how powerful you become, always assume that there is someone stronger. Trust me on this."

"Whatever you say King Kai. So, have you found someone for me to fight?"

"As a matter of fact, I have. I was talking with my rival, the West Kai, and he told me that he had a powerful new champion. He's been constantly bragging about him to me, showing him off. I haven't had a powerful new champion in quite some time, they keep meeting untimely ends before they can reach their peak." King Kai broke off for a second and began muttering to himself. Goku was barely able to catch anything that the god said, but he was able to catch a couple references of a 'purple lipped midget freak'.

"Anyways Goku, the two of us are going to go visit the West Kai so that you can beat up his champion and prove to him that my quadrant is superior!"

"I thought that we were going so that you could see my current level?"

"That too!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"NARUTO YOU IDIOT!" Sakura stomped down the street towards the ramen stand, each footstep shattering the ground beneath her. Everyone in the street hurried out of her way, giving the raging ninja a straight shot towards the blonde haired teen. The boy gave his comrade an unconcerned glance before looking back down at his meal. That alone was proof enough for the girl that he was guilty.

"Naruto, what the hell?"

"Hey Sakura, do you want some ramen?"

"NO YOU DOLT, I WANT SOME ANSWERS!"

"Answers? Sorry Sakura, you know how bad I am at tests. Besides, aren't you one of the brainiacs that everyone copied off of during the Chunin exams?" The vein on Sakura's forehead looked like it was about to burst, and her inner mind was filled with nothing but images of death.

"Last chance dobe. WHY THE HELL DID YOU TURN MY HAIR BLUE?!" The girl pointed up at her head, the vivid bright blue contrasting sharply with the bright red of her face.

"Oh, so that's what you were talking about. You know Sakura, you really should just say what you mean straight out instead of playing the pronoun game. Otherwise people might not what you are talking about."

"YOU KNEW DAMN WELL WHAT I MEANT! NOW QUIT STALLING AND ANSWER THE QUESTION!"

"Well, between my training adventure, hunting Sasuke, the Akatsuki, and the ninja war, I realized that I've fallen behind on my pranking! So I thought to myself, who do I know that is always really tense and uptight, who could really do for a laugh? Shino told me if I go near him again, he would have his bugs infest me in places. So I went for the close second. You!" The energy gem of Sakura's forehead flared with her chakara, and her skin had taken on an unhealthy looking purple hue.

"YOU THOUGHT I COULD DO FOR A LAUGH SO YOU DYED MY HAIR? LAUGH THIS OFF YOU BASTARD!"

Sakura's fist smashing into the grinning ninja's whiskered cheek, but instead of sending him flying, he vanished in a puff of smoke.

"A shadow clone? Seriously? DAMN IT YOU BAKA, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?"

**Several Miles Away**

A smirk appeared on Naruto's face as the memories of his shadow clone entered his mind. The short purple being in front of him frowned at the distraction loudly cleared his throat. Naruto looked down sheepishly and sent a wide smile towards the being.

"Sorry, sorry. One of my pranks just went off, it turned out pretty well."

"Whatever kid, are you in or not?"

"So you basically want me to go into space with you to challenge some sort of super being in a sparring match? And if I do this, then you'll set me up for a vacation on a resort planet with a group of friends of my choice?"

"Yeah, that's the gist of it."

"Well, normally I'd want to head back to the village to check into this first, but I get the feeling that doing so might be hazardous to my health for the time being. When do we leave?" The Kai gave a victorious grin and grabbed onto the ninja's arm.

"Right now!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Two orange clad fighters suddenly found themselves in a wide open field, completely devoid of any signs of life besides them. The two looked at one another for a moment before Goku gave the teen a cheery wave. Naruto responded in kind, walking over to the older man with a smile.

"So, I guess you are my opponent?"

"Guess so. Should we-"Goku was cut off by the sudden screech of a loudspeaker.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this special fighting event, featuring the Saiyan of the Northern quadrant Goku going up against the ninja of the West, Naruto Uzumaki! The fight will go until either one side concedes defeat, or someone is unable to continue. Once the battle has been decided, then the Kai sponsoring the winner will receive his prize." Naruto glanced at Goku, a deadpan expression on his face.

"I think we're getting taken advantage of."

"Not me, I'm just here because I was told you would be a good opponent to test my new limits."

"Well, I can't argue with that." Both sunk into their respective combat stances as the announcer returned.

"It seems they are all set folks, here we go! FIGHT!"

**Battle Music: um…. Well… you know what, screw it. I wrote the fight for you already, pick your own music. **

"I'll start this off! Shadow clone jutsu!" Goku suddenly found himself surrounded by a sea of blondes, hundreds of clones circled him from every side. With a roar, they charged in, using their chakra to propel themselves like rockets at their opponent. Goku stood his ground, blocking the attacks of the first couple of clones to reach him and knocking them back into the crowd. Others leapt over the fallen and moved in, but the Saiyan stood ready. The clones found themselves being chucked around, blocked, or simply destroyed with powerful counters. Meanwhile the real Naruto stood back, using the clones' experience to study his opponents fighting style.

Goku on the other hand, was having fun. The endless number of clones were giving him a good test for controlling the flow of the battle, and for keeping his higher power levels focus on individual target. After a while though, he was ready for the next part of the fight. He allowed himself to fall to the ground to avoid an incoming punch, then spun around like a break dancer to knock most of the nearby clones off their feet. Using the momentum of the spin he brought himself up into a crouch, both of his hands thrust out to the side.

"HAAA!" The energy of Goku's kiai hit the clones like a truck, destroying the entire group in less than a second. Goku rose too his feet, dusting off his clothes with a grin. Then he stepped to the side, allowing the real Naruto to skid past him, with a look of surprise on his face.

"How did you know I was coming?"

"I can sense you energy, it tells me exactly where you are."

"Really? I don't know that many people who can use nature chakra to sense people like that. Where you trained by a bunch of toads too?"

"Nope! I was trained first by a turtle man, then by a talking cat, and then by a green god and his scary assistant! Now I'm being trained by a blue god!"

"Huh… and I thought that my teachers were kind of weird. Alright then, back at it! Rasengan!" Naruto lunged forward again, thrusting out a blue energy sphere from his plan. Goku charged in as well, focusing his ki into his fist. With a cry, he thrust the fist forwards, colliding it into Naruto's attack. The force of the Rasengan sent both fighters skidding back, a cloud of dust obstructing their view from one another.

Naruto quickly dashed around the cloud, looking for any sign of his opponent. He stopped short when he saw him, lightly blowing on a slightly red hand from the impact. The rest of him was completely unharmed, the Rasengan had been blocked. Concerned, Naruto focused his chakra into his mind.

_Hey Kurama, are you seeing this? _

_ Hmm? Sorry, I've been watching the useless girl's reaction to your prank on a loop. _

_ She's not useless you dumb fox, don't make fun of my friends! ...and seriously, you can do that?_

_ Totally._

_ …Is it still funny?_

_ Gets funnier every time. Anyways, what do you want? _

_ This guy is a bit tougher than I was expecting, I was hoping you'd help me out. _

_ Alright, it's been a few months since I've had some fun. I'll start gathering my chakra for a demon cloak. For now though, I already charged up enough nature chakra for you to go sage mode, just in case. _

_ Thanks Kurama! Now let's do this!_

Goku looked up with surprise as Naruto's power suddenly spiked upwards, bringing a grin to the alien's face.

"Oh good, he was holding back. Now things can get interesting!" Naruto looked back at the warrior with amphibian eyes, his face taking on the telltale markings of the sage mode. The ninja burst forwards with newfound speed, barely giving Goku enough time to throw up an arm to block the incoming fist. As the fist passed his face though, the side of Goku's head was suddenly rocked by a powerful burst of energy, knocking him off balance. Naruto followed up with a gut punch, with the same energy using the fist as a catalyst to blast inside of Goku's body.

The Saiyan let out a grunt of discomfort as the attack struck his organs before countering, slamming his fist into the teen's face. Naruto was sent skidding away, coughing up a bit of blood as he rolled to a stop. Before Goku could press the advantage Naruto was on his feet, two clones beside him.

"RASEN-SHURKEN!" Goku halted his charge as the attack moved in, diving off to the side to avoid the blow. Two more clones charged at the downed fighter, forcing him back to his feet and fighting him with the same enhanced combat abilities as the original. Goku began trying to direct his own ki, using it as a buffer to neutralize the boosted energy in the ninja's attacks. Suddenly both latched onto him, trying to hold him in place. The saiyan looked back over towards the original and saw him holding a new Rasen-Shuriken, this one even larger than before. With a cry, the Naruto launched the attack towards the Saiyan.

Goku shifted his body downward, slightly disrupting the two shadow clone's balance. Then he launched himself upwards, ripping himself out of the clone's grasps. The two clones watched mutely as the wind style rasengan slammed into them, destroying them utterly. Goku stayed up in the air, watching the sage ninja curiously.

_Hey, Kurama? The sage powers aren't working, can we pick up the pace on that Demon cloak already?_

_ Maybe if you tried actually HITTING the guy, you wouldn't be having this problem._

_ Not helping!_

_ One demon cloak, coming up!_

In the mindscape, the large monster fox and the prankster nin fist-bumped, causing sparks of power to erupt around them.

_ALRIGHT KURAMA, LET'S DO THIS!_

Naruto suddenly erupted into a golden aura surrounding his body, drawing an impressed whistle from the flying Saiyan.

"Still holding back then? How much power do you have anyways?"

"Now you're going to find out!" Naruto leapt into the air, a giant chakara ball in hand.

"Giant Rasnegan!" The attack struck Goku's body, but instead of detonating it passed straight through without any resistance. Naruto's eyes widened in shock before a powerful fist struck him in the back, knocking the ninja hurtling towards the ground. Goku charged down as the afterimage faded, preparing to blast the ninja before he could recover. Instead, he stopped in surprise when his opponent's body vanished upon impact with the ground, leaving a small wooden log in his place. Goku quickly focused his ki sense, trying to locate where his opponent had vanished to. His hand shot out, snagging a kunai out of the air right before it made contact with his head.

Suddenly there was a flash of light and Naruto appear, one of his hands snatching away the kunai. The other hand was holding another massive rasengan.

"HYAAA!" This time Goku didn't have time to dodge, taking the brunt of the attack head on. The explosion sent him spiraling to the ground, leaving a deep scar in the Earth. Back in the air Naruto spawned several tails made of pure chakra from the back of his cloak and brought them together in front of him, forcing together another massive ball of chakra.

"RASEN-SHURIKEN!" The bladed sphere sliced through the air, straight towards where Goku now stood. The alien warrior narrowed his eyes and held out his arms in front of his body, allowing the blow to connect. The attack detonated in a massive sphere, cutting away at the ground around it and sending debris flying into the air. When the dust cleared Goku stood tall, most of his clothes shredded. A few cuts were visible on his face and some of the now exposed parts of his chest, but as a whole he looked mostly uninjured. Naruto looked down at his opponent end scoffed in disbelief.

_Well that didn't work. You want to take a crack at him Kurama? _

_ Couldn't you just use the six path sage mode? _

_ Are you saying you don't want a turn?_

_ Oh no, I'm not passing up an opportunity to fight, I'm just surprised you aren't cutting loose. _

_ I'll use it if I need to. For now, I don't need to._

Goku stood across from the ninja, waiting for him to make a move. So far he was impressed, the ninja had some impressive tricks, and he was constantly powering himself up with a bunch of different forms. So far though, Goku was confident that he would win. Then the ninja started to glow.

In an eruption of red energy his body expanded, growing into a massive demon fox. Goku craned his neck up, taking in the monster's giant teeth and rage filled eyes. The energy coming off of the fox was both massive and dark, rolling off of the creature in waves.

_**"NOW THEN, ARE YOU READY FOR THE NEXT ROUND LITTLE MAN?"**_

"Whoo boy… this might be a problem." The Kyuubi launched forwards, snapping his jaw closed around where Goku was standing. The Saiyan managed to dodge out of the way, leaving the fox to eat nothing but air. The monsters tails lashed out, smashing into the ground like a battering ram. Goku took to the sky, weaving around the attacks and flying up above the beast. The fox leapt up, spinning in the air to use its tail like a baseball bat, knocking Goku backwards across the field to crash into the ground. The Saiyan scrambled to his feet in time to see the fox concentrating a giant dark red ball. The tips of its tail were gathered around the sphere, forming and shaping it bigger and bigger.

_**"Try this! Biju Bomb!"**_

The ball launched.

"Well then… KAMEHAMEHA!"

The blue beam fired.

They met in the middle.

The detonation was nuclear.

The shockwave was felt for miles around, flattening all of the land and creating a massive canyon at the impact site. The kyuubi was flung back, sent tumbling end over end until it was finally able to dig its claws into the ground and bring itself to a stop. It snarled as it rose back to its full height, sniffing for its prey. Said prey then landed on the fox's nose.

Kurama gave a grunt of surprise, which Goku returned with a grin. The tails rose up into the air, positioning themselves as to prevent the warrior from being able to escape. Instead of moving though, the Saiyan brought his hands up to his head with his fingers with his ki crackling across his hands.

"Tien says hi! Solar Flare!" The fox roared as the light burned its eyes and began lashing out blindly with its tail. Goku nimbly dodged the attacks and began flying all around the fox, landing heavy punches up and down its massive body. Even as Kurama's eyes began to clear, he still managed to avoid all of the fox's attacks. After a particularly hard blow dislocated the beast's jaw, Goku stopped to hover in front of it once more.

"This is kind of like fighting Piccolo after he grew! Your size is a lot greater, and so is your power, but your speed hasn't increased with your size. It makes it pretty easy to avoid all of your attacks and hit you with my own. Do you have anything else to use, or are you out of tricks?"

_NOW will you use the stupid god eyes so we can beat him up? _

_Okay yeah_, _I think we should actually start taking this seriously now. We're gonna win!_

The fox's body began to glow again, condensing itself down back into Naruto's form. The demon cloak shrouded his body once more, but this time his face had changed. His eyes were different now, shaping the irises and pupils into a complex pattern, the markings of the six paths of the sage. He flexed for a bit, working out all of the kinks and knots in his body. Goku took the time to stretch out his legs a bit, loosening up the muscles. The fighters took their time, making sure that they were completely stretched out and ready for the next part of the fight. They both stood up simultaneously, giving one another a short nod. Then with roar, Naruto charged forwards.

Goku leapt up into the air to avoid the attack, but Naruto surprised him by following him up, smashing his fist into the aliens face. Goku tried to recover, but suddenly Naruto was behind him, slamming his heel into the back of the martial artist's neck. Goku managed to control his tumble downwards, landing on his feet and looking upwards for any sign of his opponent. Instead, he was flung face forwards into the ground as a Rasengan was shoved between his shoulder blades. The martial artist turned his fall into a series of flips, through a few ki balls behind him as he tried to gain some distance. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a glint of metal, and then Naruto was beside him, mashing another Rasengan into the side of his face.

The second the blow connected Naruto took to the sky, gathering his chakra with all of his demon tails and both hands. A dark energy ball formed, rotating faster and faster as it grew. Then the shape changed, and four spikes burst from the side of the ball, all equally spaced from one another.

"RASEN-SHURIKEN: BIJU BOMB STYLE!" The spiraling attack shot downwards, crashing into Goku's body and destroying everything around it, leaving a perfectly shaped half-sphere behind it, stretching out to over half a mile wide. Nothing remained in the crater except for smooth stone, there wasn't even a shred of orange cloth left behind. Naruto stayed hovering in the air for several seconds before tilting his head sideways, his eyes looking behind him.

"So how exactly did you manage to dodge that one?"

"It's times like these that I really love the afterimage technique. You are using those knives of yours to teleport somehow, right?"

"Yeah, it's my dad's technique, took me a while to get the hang of it."

"It's pretty cool, I'll have to look into learning a teleportation move somewhere down the line."

"Good call, they're really useful for moving quickly around a battlefield."

"Yours is good, but it has same weaknesses."

"Like what?"

"It doesn't boost your reflexes at all, and an opponent can predict where you will show up by studying where you throw the knives. Plus, if the knife gets knocked away then your teleportation will get knocked off target."

"Still beats having to fly around the battlefield."

"Not if you have a speed boosting technique!"

"You can boost your speed even faster than what you've been doing?"  
"Yep! It's called the Kaio-Ken!"

"Kaio-whaUUGH!" Goku was suddenly enveloped in a red aura and charged forwards, embedding his fist into the ninja's gut. Naruto doubled over, and was met with an elbow to the back of his head for his trouble. As he fell the blonde launched one of his kunai to the side, teleporting clear of Goku's range. He reappeared by the knife and snatched it out of the air, only to find Goku's chest inches from his face. The Saiyans hand lashed out, knocking the knife away with a front hand, and then backhanding the boy off into the horizon. Naruto reflexively teleported as he flew, appearing behind Goku. He quickly formed a Rasengan in his hands and charged, thrusting it out towards the small of the alien's back. At the last second Goku spun around, seizing his opponent's wrist and redirecting the palm of his hand. Naruto looked on in shock as the Rasengan burst on his own chest, crying out in pain as it sent him flying.

The red aura faded from around Goku as he walked over to check on his opponent, stopping in surprise when the ninja quickly returned to his feet. The deep wound his attack left was already sealing closed, sending a small plume of steam into the sky. As the wound sealed closed Naruto sunk into a fighting stance, a Rasengan forming in each hand. With a roar he charged forwards, pouring his chakra into the attacks. Goku erupted in a red aura once more and met the charge, heading on a collision course with the ninja. Naruto thrust both hands straight out at the warrior, only for him to duck under the twin attacks.

"Meteor Combo!" The Saiyan's elbow slammed into the ninja's face, knocking him off balance. Then the barrage began, a dozen kicks rapid fired to his face so face he couldn't even react. Then a spin kick caught him in the side, another spun him around, and another half dozen kicks continued battering his head. Naruto stumbled backwards in a daze, barely even standing on his own feet. Goku followed up with a massive uppercut, drilling it so deep into Naruto's chest that he could hear the sound of snapping ribs over Naruto's cry. The blonde haired teen fell to the ground, clenching his gut and forcefully pushing his chakra to quickly heal the wound. Goku leapt to the sky, cupping his hands together and beginning to charge his ki.

"KA…ME…HA…ME….HAAAA!"

Naruto finished healing and looked up just in time to watch as the massive blue beam crashed into him, flattening him to the ground. When the dust cleared Goku landed beside the battered teen.

"Chakras all used up… I'm done."

"THERE YOU HAVE IT FOLKS! THE CHAMPION OF THE NORTHERN GALAXY TAKES THE WIN! THANK YOU ALL FOR CALLING OUT, AND FLY HOME SAFELY."

Goku looked around the area for a moment before turning to help Naruto to his feet.

"Hey, that was really fun! We should do it again someday!"

"Sure, next time I'll totally kick your butt!"

"I'll be sure to get stronger to! Anyways, got to go now! See you later!"

"See ya! Next time we meet, we should totally get some ramen!

**IN THE AUDIENCE**

King Kai watched with pride as Goku flew out of the ring and headed off into the distance. He smiled happily to himself, before his rival interrupted.

"Your champion does know that he can't leave until the teleporters get him out right? Are the people from your quadrant always that stupid?"

"I don't know, why don't you tell me what it means for you now that my champion just left your champion all bloodied up on the ground? Now about that side bet of ours…"

And the West Kai learned a harsh lesson that day. If you want to keep your vintage collector car, you don't mess with the blue guy.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Alright, breakdown time. Naruto is good, he has demonstrated some incredible firepower, endurance, and variety in his fights. However, everything that Naruto can do, Goku has a counter for. The clones can be easily wiped out with an area of effect attack, the rasengan variants are generally too slow to hit him, and when they do hit him they don't have enough juice to put him down. Goku withstood an island busting attack against Piccolo, survived a laser through the chest, muscled through being tortured, and then managed to win while he was bleeding out. After the training with King Kai, he has only gotten even stronger. Naruto doesn't have a way to take the monkey down.

"Well what about all those other reasons that your buddy kept sending you?"

Seriously? Most of those even he agreed wouldn't work.

"If he can think them up, so can the readers."

Fine. First of all, poison. Name one time that Naruto has ever actually tried to use poison. It is completely out of character for him, there is nothing to say he would ever use such a cheap tactic. Plus, Goku is an alien. There is absolutely no guarantee that certain toxins would have the same effect on Goku that they do on a regular human.

Next off, genjutsu. Once again, Naruto doesn't use them. He isn't even very good at that type of technique, even now they are one of his weaker skills. Even if he did use them, they wouldn't effect Goku. Genjutsu is stated to work by manipulating the chakara channels one has through their brains. Goku isn't from the Naruto verse, and as such he doesn't have chakara channels. Ki and chakara aren't the same, Naruto couldn't manipulate it the same way. Even if he could, it still wouldn't work. Genjutsu can be broken by someone reving up their energy high enough to shatter it. Now what show is famous for having really long filler scenes just of a person reving up an insane amount of power?

"I think he said something about cutting Goku and bleeding him out as well. Excpet, one of the very first scenes in Dragon Ball shows bullets bouncing off his body, and an ax shattering on his head. Good luck getting through that skin."

Well Naruto can just out speed him then! Nope, Goku is way faster. He was literally trained by the Mr. Popo (the guy with the permanent rape face) how to move and fight faster than lightning. That is faster than every single technique in Naruto's arsenal.

"So… I thought you said that you were trying to make it as fair a fight as possible. Why didn't you use an earlier Goku?"

Three reasons. One, I wanted Goku to win more. Two, I would get torn apart if I nerfed Goku just so he could lose to Naruto. Three, because this is the part of the series that most of the people I asked said would be the most fair. They said to use this version, and they got what they wanted.

"So, that's it. All done now right? That wasn't so bad, why we're you so annoyed with having to write this chapter?"

Because it made me think of that stupid Deathbattle! Goku's powers are almost impossible to calculate, Toriyama leaves to much unexplained and vague in his abilities. I've seen dozens of versions of fan calculations for his power level, and none of them ever match up! It ticks me off, and makes me not want to use him for these chapters. In a regular story I can make my own limits, but in this story I always try to write the characters as accurately as I possibly can. But no matter how hard I try, I absolutely cannot get an accurate measure! How can he push around that massive boulder while training with Roshi, yet can't carry 40 tons in the Buu saga? How fast is he, can he really move faster than light? Some of his feats hint yes, but other feats have that not make sense! Goku is basically as strong as you want him to be, you can use certain feats to come up with almost any power level you want. That is what makes the Superman vs Goku Deathbattle so annoying! If you can't accurately calculate Goku, then that means the only way for him to lose that fight is if you WANT him to lose that fight. I've seen plenty of counter-calculations that throw the ones in that show out the window, they deliberately made Goku lose. Just like what happened with Buu and Kirby. Here people, bonus scene! Buu vs Kirby, FIGHT!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kirby started up at the pink blob in front of him curiously. What did it taste like? Kirby opened his mouth and began to inhale, creating a vortex to suck the beast in. Buu let out a childish laugh as it sidestepped, firing off a candy beam that hit the tiny creature head on. Kirby vanished in a puff of smoke, leaving nothing behind but a tiny brown square.

"MMMMM! Chocolate!"  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

THE END! See, that's how it should have gone down.

"Would you quit ranting like a little fanboy bitch and just close this already, I want to go home!"

I'M NOT DONE YET! I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED ON NARUTO YET!

"Screw that! She-Hulk SMASH!"

_THUMMMM_

There, maybe when you get out of low orbit you'll have calmed down. Until next time folks.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

AN: I want it noted that the announcer guy that I use for this story is a fictionalized, exaggerated version of me. I love both of these series, but I played up the nerd rage a bit extra here. Had fun doing it, the chapter was one of the more fun one's that I've written. In all honesty, the main reason I didn't want to write it was because I've gotten completely caught up in my other story. I even like Deathbattle, though more for entertainment than accuracy. I still say that they get a ton of their fights wrong. Now then, S&amp;D promised me another chapter for this, and I plan on making him deliver. I don't care if I have to finish it myself, that fight will be next! Unfortunately, it isn't one of the one's from the poll, he started writing this before the poll even came out. I'll do the next poll chapter for my next one after S&amp;D's has been taken care of. Please review guys and girls, I honestly want to know what you think. Is my writing improving at all? Let me know!


	21. Gives you Hell

**Superhuman Fight Club**

**Heroes and villains from every dimension have one thing in common. They thoroughly enjoy beating each other up. Whether they protect the streets in shadows, stand tall as a symbol of heroism, thrive off of stealing from the less fortunate, or let out a maniacal laugh as they slaughter the innocents, all fight for what they believe in. But the question is, in a fight with no rules, who is left standing? We will take various versions of these characters from any and all realms of media to see if we can find an answer. **

**Disclaimer: If I owned these franchises, you can bet that this crossover would have happened on the big screen. **

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Chapter 21: I don't hope someone will give you hell; I'll do it myself.**

So….remember how I said S&amp;D would be posting his chapter next? Yeah, about that…change of plans. He's really lazy, and unwilling to commit to the team (his words, not mine). You are getting my next chapter instead.

Now then, about the battle. Remember how the survey said I was going to do Alucard vs Kenpachi? Well, it was brought to my attention that Kenpachi literally cannot kill Alucard. He doesn't have any technique or ability that can put him down. It would take a really long time, but eventually Alucard would put him down. Alucard is literally a monster. He is probably the deadliest portrayal of a vampire that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing.

He also does not sparkle, which is nice.

If he had taken part in the Halloween vampire battle royal, he could have won even if all 5 of the others ganged up on him at once. The only one of the group could have even put up a fight would be Buffy if she went into that super slayer mode I mentioned but promised not to use. Actually…that might be a decent fight…Nah. I already used Buffy once.

Alucard has a whole slew of super powers, to the point that he has self-imposed limiters to his abilities. He has the speed, strength, and reflexes of Spider-Man (no precog though), the healing factor of Deadpool, the stamina of Wolverine, and the accuracy of Hawkeye (except with guns). When he kills he can devour souls, and if he gets struck with a lethal blow he can redirect that death to destroy one of the souls and protect himself. He became omnipresent after eating the werecat Schrodinger's' soul, but the technicalities of that made him nonexisistant, so I'm gonna ignore that.

If he uses his fully power and triggers restraint level 0 he can summon every last one of the souls he has devoured to fight for him, however doing so takes away the safety net that prevents him from dying. This is the only real time he is vulnerable.

Some of his other powers include mind control, the ability to turn into shadows, invisibility, intangibility, and finally by drinking blood he is able to increase his power and even absorb the memories of his opponent.

Basically what this means is, you can't hit him unless he wants to hit him, he can hit you back whenever he damn well pleases, and even if you luck out and manage to kill him, he can dodge death. Throw in some seriously impressive gunmanship, and you have yourself an opponent who is basically unbeatable. Despite all of this though, Alucard does have one real weakness.

He is extremely overconfident.

Alucard, somewhat justifiably, believes that he is truly unbeatable, and he hasn't ever come across anyone or anything that could prove him wrong. He has lost a grand total of one time against the original Van Hellsing, and his power has grown significantly since then. As such, Alucard does not use his powers to their fully potential, he often holds back so that he may enjoy his battles. He takes attacks he should dodge, he rarely uses his mental powers to give him the instant win, and he seems to enjoy just being a bullet sponge. He has all of the powers, however he does not have the mentality of a warrior; he takes far too much pleasure in his fights. This is especially true against humans, Alucard believes that humans should be the ones to kill the monsters, including him.

Also, just a guess here, but I'm assuming that complete and total disintegration would probably be able to kill him, it works pretty well on all of the other really stubborn guys with super regenerative abilities. Isn't actually a factor in that fight, but I'm just throwing it out here.

Now then, as to who Alucard is actually fighting. The list of characters who can fight Alucard is extremely small, either they get utterly wrecked by him on the low end, or they just chuck him into the sun on the high end. He could slaughter most street and mid-level characters with ease, so what we need is a mid-level with major speed, durability, serious fighting skill and an insane damage output. Let's go with…Akuma.

The absolute strongest character in Street Fighter, Akuma, much like Alucard, has to hold back his fully power just so that he may enjoy his fights. He has beaten all of the strongest fighters in the franchise at least once, including M. Bison, who he basically one shot. Akuma describes himself as evil incarnate, and he means so literally. He uses Satsui no Hado, a murderous, dark energy that grants those who master it immense power. With it Akuma is capable of many powerful abilities, ranging from physics defying martial arts abilities and teleportation, to powerful energy blasts and fireballs, shockwaves capable of leveling an island. And all of these are just with his base powers.

Akuma lives with the warrior code, he spends almost all of his time either training or hunting down and battling with powerful opponents. He is constantly searching for a being capable of matching him on the battlefield who can fight him at full power, and possibly even manage to defeat him. He hates people that take shortcuts in the path to gaining power, which explains the reason that he brutally assaulted General Bison, who forcefully split his soul to give himself a quick power boost. However, he refused to kill off the General at a later date when he found out that Bison was suffering from a lethal illness.

Akuma will only fight two types of people, those who can give him a challenging battle, and those that show the potential to do so in the future. The difference between these two types of battles is that Akuma is likely to kill the first, but to leave the second alive so that they can get stronger and fight him again at a later date.

Even when Akum finds an opponent that he is willing to fight to the death, it still doesn't mean that they are equals. If leveling an island is impressive, then Akuma's full power is insane. When Akuma cuts loose he fuses his body with the Satsui no Hado he enters his Shin mode. His skin becomes pale and his power skyrockets. In this form he is far more powerful and durable, which is the very reason he almost never uses it. Akuma can't stand an easy fight, so he holds back in his base form so he won't instantly slaughter whoever he is fighting. With the power of his Shin form, Akuma punched out an asteroid about to collide with the Earth.

Holy badass!

But even that isn't the extent of his power. Akuma has a power level that exceeds even that of the Shin ability known as Oni. Oni forms when Akuma allows his entire being to be possessed by the Satsui no Hado. At full power in this form, he would likely be able to single handedly defeat the entirety of the Street Fighter cast, including his weaker self.

But, he isn't showing up here. Several reasons for this, the most important being that it turns this fight into the kind of stomp that I'm trying to prevent. There is no way in hell that Alucard can take on an opponent that strong, I find throwing people into the sun is just a cheap win, I think Akuma would agree. However, it is also not happening because I have no idea what Oni's real limits are. We see him fight Asura pretty evenly for a while in Asura's Wrath, but I'm not sure if he was going full power or not there. The two actually broke the moon they were going at it so hard. He survived the vacuum of space, reentry to the Earth's atmosphere, and everything Asura could dish out.

Finally, we have Akuma's most powerful attack, the Raging Demon (Shun Goku Satsu/Instant Hell Murder). This move is lethal. Instead of attacking the body like a normal martial arts technique, this one actually attacks your soul. Akuma uses the Satsui no Hado to deliver 16 high powered hits, representing the 16 levels of hell in Buddhism. The move causes everything around it to fade to pitch black, with the exception of small bursts of light representing each hit, 15 different flashes followed by the final fiery symbol that appears around Akuma as he stands above his victim. The move works like Ghost Rider's Penance Stare, it uses each and every one of the sins you have committed in your life to attack and destroy your soul and leave your body as an empty husk. It is possible to survive the technique if you do not have a soul or if you are capable of shielding it or separating it out from your body, but the people who can do so are few and far between.

So, will the King of the Vampires be able to put down the Master of Fists, or will the Raging Demon prove to be too much to handle? Here we go!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Seras Victoria stalked through the thick woods around a small mountain in Japan. She had an anti-tank rifle on her back, a phone in one hand, and an annoyed tick on her forehead.

"I'm sorry Lady Integra, but I have no idea where Master went." A pause.

"I know, all we are supposed to be doing to do is investigate the demon sightings. But you know Master, he likes to do things his own way." Another pause.

"No, I haven't found any trace of this demon yet. I've been wandering around this mountain for hours, but I still have no idea what I'm looking for... I mean, would a demon just look like master, or would it have the fiery horns and stuff?" The young draculina held the phone away from her ear and suppressed a groan as her boss ranted about master. Suddenly she froze, carefully scanning the area around her. Somebody was watching her.

"Sorry Lady Integra, I need to go. I may have found the target." Seras hung up the phone before Integra could protest and slung her rifle off of her back. She gripped the weapon in one hand and allowed her dark energy to cover the other. Her eyes narrowed when a dark figure step out from behind a cluster of trees and approached her.

"I thought that the police had learned how pitiful they were compared to the might of Akuma. It appears that I must make another demonstration." Seras chose not to respond, instead she brought up her rifle and fired. The man's hand shot forward like lightning, with a dark aura covering it completely. He stood still for a moment, and the young vampire's brow furrowed in confusion when nothing appeared to happen. Then the man opened his hand, palm up, and revealed the shattered bullet within. Seras' mouth formed a small 'o' in surprise before the man darted forward and smashed his elbow right into her front teeth. Blood spurted out of her gums as the woman unintentionally swallowed some of her teeth, but they were coughed right back up as Akuma drilled his fist into her gut. Another punch knocked her to the ground, bleeding profusely and struggling to move. Akuma looked satisfied with his work and turned to walked off, believing that the woman would be an effective deterrent for any future interlopers.

He made it four steps before he casually brought his hand up to catch the dark claw that the police girl lashed out at him with. The girl charged in with a flying kick that Akuma caught in midair. He spun around and slammed her head into a tree, smashing straight through it. Seras' face was riddled with splinters and bleeding all over, but she wasn't done yet. With a snarl she ripped her head out of the tree and lashed out with her claw, forcing Akuma on the defensive. He shifted his body out of the way of each and every blow, taking careful note of how quickly the wounds on the girl's body seemed to be healing.

Seras for her part could feel the edge of the berserker rage as it began to take hold. Her confidence was slowly coming back, now she had the bloody bastard on the ropes, it was only a matter of time. Then Akuma vanished before her eyes.

Seras' let out a gasp of surprise before a fist buried itself into her kidney, forcing her to her knees. She retched blood onto the ground, struggling to get any sort of air to her lungs. Finally her healing factor repaired enough damage that she was able to shakily return to her feet. Akuma stood there unmoving, studying the girl. After several moments he nodded to himself.

"You have potential to become a worthy opponent. You may leave these woods for now, go hone your skills and return when you feel you might have the capability to kill me." Seras watched as the man walked away, pausing only long enough to stomp her rifle in half.

"Oh! Now that was a low blow… why did you have to go and do something like that? Bitches love cannons, you should never mess with them." Akuma turned back to see a cloaked man emerge from the trees and stand next to the downed girl. He took in the man's cloak, his strange hat, and his sunglasses in a dark forest, and sneered in disdain. Seras looked up at the man in surprise and forced herself up on her feet to greet him.

"I'm sorry master, he completely overwhelmed me." Akuma cocked an eyebrow at that and examined the man with a newfound interest.

"Master? So you sent in your apprentice first to test my skill, and now that you are satisfied you have come yourself to do battle. I can't fault you for your method, in a similar situation I would likely have done the same. Now, do you feel like you can challenge the Master of Fists?" Alucard stepped out towards the martial artist, pulling both of his pistols out of his holsters.

"… I'm gonna be completely honest… I was actually just enjoying your work, the blood splatter you made was quite impressive. I want to see if I can replicate it with you!" Alucard's guns both came up and started firing, forcing Akuma on the defensive. He ignited his fighter's aura to soften the bullets. The rounds slammed into his skin like a dozen painful punches, but they couldn't get through his skin. The man rushed the monster, lashing out with a powerful kick that shattered the vampire's knee. Alucard stumbled back, and that split second gave Akuma the opening he needed to kick both of Alucard's guns off into the distance. The vampire lashed out with his own fist but Akuma deflected the attack and thrust his hands right in front of his opponent's chest.

"Gou Hadoken!" A purple energy sphere fired out of Akuma's palms and exploded on the vampire's chest, sending him flying backwards. Alucard crashed through several trees before he came to a stop, smoke billowing off of his chest. He looked down and watched as a hole the size of a watermelon knitted itself back up on his torso. Once the wound was healed he got back to his feet, stretched out his muscles, and gave Akuma a toothy grin.

"Neat." Then the vampire disappeared into the shadows, coming up behind Akuma and tearing a bloody gash into his back. The martial artist grunted in surprise and launched a kick behind him, but his opponent was already gone. The next attack left a cut over Akuma's forehead, dripping blood into his eyes. Akuma took a moment to rip off a portion of his gi and create a makeshift headband to keep the blood from interfering with his vision. Then he launched forwards to attack again, his frustration growing as Alucard easily dodged and swayed out of the way of every attack. Suddenly the vampire launched himself backwards, coming to a halt some distance away from the fighter.

He thrust open his cloak a revealed a dark energy floating where his body should be. Akuma held back and watched, unsure of his opponent's intentions. He certainly wasn't expecting, a massive hellhound to burst into existence. Akuma barely had time to bring up his arm in time to keep his throat from being ripped out, the dog was able to latch onto his arm, ripping through his aura to dig teeth through muscle and tendons. The fighter snarled and snapped the beast's neck, glaring across the woods at the smirking vampire.

"Not an animal fan I see. You know, I really should be calling PETA on you, but I suppose I can just save them the hassle and take care of you for them. But before that, let me just say I love your work, you're a natural! I mean, making the Police girl swallow her own teeth, only to force her to hurl them back up? Brilliant! I just have to make sure I kill you, so that when I try it, everyone will believe it was my idea!"

Akuma cracked his neck, willing away the pain of his wounds. "You are the first challenge I've had in a long while, but you prattle on worse than that miserable worm Hibiki. Maybe this battle will be more enjoyable once I've silenced you!" Akuma faded out of sight for a second, reappearing directly in front of Alucard. The vampire had no time to dodge, in a split second Akuma had punched his opponent's jaw clean off. The mess of flesh and blood went sailing through the air until it bopped Seras on the head, drawing out a screech of disgust.

The vampire responded by smashing his head into Akuma's nose, shattering the cartilage. The dark skinned man stumbled back, leaving the vampire wide open to open up another bloody cut across his chest. Akuma set out a low groan and then shifted his weight. As his opponent moved in again, the fighter attacked.

"Gou Shoryuken!" His fist ablaze with energy, Akuma delivered a single, explosive uppercut. The attack blew the vampires head apart, splattering gore across the trees, the ground, and Seras' shirt, drawing a moan from the girl. Akuma watched as the vampire's body toppled over, then he turned back to the girl.

"If he was any indication of your potential, then you may be able to give me a decent workout in the future. Leave now before you suffer his fate." Seras looked at the bleeding warrior and allowed a small grin to come to her face.

"Maybe you should make sure Master is actually dead before you start wanking yourself off." Akuma's red eyes narrowed, then widened in surprise as Alucard's jaw suddenly flew out of his apprentice's hands toward his body. The warrior watched in a mix of disgust and horror as Alucard's head regrew itself, leaving the smirking man completely uninjured.

"So that was pretty cool. Anything else you want to try, or is it my turn?"

"MESSATSU GOU-HADOKEN!" A massive purple beam of energy burst out of Akuma's hands, burning the flesh straight off of Alucard. When the attack was finished, all that was left was a set of legs, connected by the barest amount of burning fleshed. In a matter of seconds though, the ashes left behind from the blast began to reform, until the Vampire King was restored once more.

"Alright, that was pretty freaking awesome. I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be called the Kamehameha, but still that was just damn impressive. But now, it is most definitely my turn." Akuma threw out another Shoryuken but Alucard phased right through him, coming out behind the warrior's back. The vampire made to take a bite of the martial artist, but Akuma was barely able to weasel his way out, taking another gash across his chest for his trouble.

The martial artist blinked a few times, trying to keep his eyes focus. The various wounds were beginning to take their toll, and the blood loss was taking effect. He was on a time limit now, if the fight dragged on too long he would succumb to his wounds. That single though brought a smile to his face.

"You just may be the opponent I've been waiting for, the one that will finally end my existence."

"Oh, you want to die do you? Is there any particular reason we had to drag this out then, instead of just letting me put a bullet through your head?"

"No ordinary opponent may vanquish me, I shall only parish when I finally face someone who has surpassed me."

"Challenge accepted."

There was a rush of shadows, and suddenly another half dozen cuts erupted across Akuma's body. The warrior staggered back, firing off a cluster of Hadokens to cover his retreat. Alucard phased through the blasts and lashed out for Akuma's throat. The warrior was able to dodge the attack and kicked out at the vampire's knee once more. Alucard let out a sigh of annoyance as his leg snapped to bend in the opposite direction, fading into the shadows to get clear of the fighter.

Alucard reappeared next to Seras, a mischievous grin on his face.

"Okay, I think I'm gonna do something a bit special, a bit cliché, perhaps, but a classic nonetheless: 666 beasts of hell." Alucard created another shadowy portal with his body and then snapped his fingers. Six hundred sixty six figures burst out and surrounded the Master of Fists.

The pack of hellhounds, demonic birds, writhing snakes, and blobs of teeth and rage assaulted Akuma was suddenly hard pressed to defend himself. He lashed out brutal attacks in every direction, snapping next, shattering ribs, ripping out spines, but the horde kept coming.

"Tenshou Kaireki Jin!" Suddenly Akuma was spinning like a top, moving so fast he actually started floating off the ground. Dozens of spirits suddenly found themselves sent flying as the hurricane kick tore through their ranks. But even that was not enough to stop the horde. One of the creatures scaled up a tree, launching itself down at the fighter from above. Akuma was easily able to shrug it off, but it cost him precious momentum to do so. Within seconds the martial artist disappeared underneath the vicious mass of flesh.

Alucard grinned at the display, and a fully recovered Seras joined him.

"I love being me." Alucard sighed, listening to the sound of an enraged cry from where Akuma was being mauled, practically drowning out the cries of the beasts. Suddenly a burst of dark energy erupted out of the pile, sending the creatures all flying. The next wave held back, restrained by the massive wave of killing intent. Akuma had changed, his muscles had expanded, his aura was even greater than before, and his hair had taken on a ghostly white.

"Now…feel my true power! KONGOU KOKURETSUZAN!" Alucard's eyes widened when he saw the sudden power of the fighter, so in a single movement a grabbed onto his fledgling and vanished.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**England- Hellsing Organization**

"LADY INTEGRA, I HAVE URGENT NEWS!" The blonde woman looked up at the man barging into her room, meeting his panicked expression with a bored face.

"Oh good, can you tell me what that idiot has done now?"

"Well… about 5 minutes ago, there was a giant purple explosion in Japan."

"Great… alright, start seeing what you can do for damage control and scout the area for any witnesses or survivors that we need to worry about."

"That…won't be possible my Lady. It's all gone."

"What's all gone? Did they wipe out that entire forest? Is the mountain intact?"

"It's far worse than that I'm afraid."

"Well quit beating around the bush like a little bitch and just tell me what happened!"

"It's Japan my Lady."

"Yes you idiot I know they are in Japan. WHAT HAPPENED?"

"Japan has been blown in half! The explosion consumed the middle of the island, all that's left are the north and south tips! The rest of the country has been completely destroyed!"

Integra's forehead hit the desk with a bang. "Oh…fuck me. Goddammit Alucard…"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**On the Northern edge of the Southern Island of Japan**

"Oooooh shit. Integra is going to be so pissed." Alucard and Seras stood on a cliff and watched as the ocean crashed in and covered the massive crater that had once been Japan.

"Master, this is awful. All those people…" Seras whispered, hands over her mouth at the horror of what had happened.

"I know! Integra is going to give me such a scolding for this!" Seras glared at the older vampire who completely ignored her irritation. Instead he was watching a purple sphere burst out of the water and fly towards them. Shin Akuma landed before them, nearly his entire body soaked in blood. Despite the massive power boost the transformation gave him, the amount of blood he had lost still put him on his last leg.

"Still alive I see. I kind of thought that you had just blown yourself up there."

"You've seen my power to the highest level that I can bring it naturally, yet you are still uninjured.

"Well you did injure me, I just got better."

"Never before have I encountered any enemy quite like you."

"Well, yeah. You're still alive."

"No…now it is time for me to show you the absolute limit of my ability. No one, not even you shall be able to survive this."

"I've heard that old song and dance before. Tell you what, I'll even give you a free shot, just so I can laugh when all the hope leaves your eyes when I once again come out completely unharmed."

"Prepare yourself… Shun Goku Satsu!" Akuma burst forwards even faster than Alucard could react, and the Raging Demon struck true. Seras was pushed back by the force of the impact and watched as both men disappeared in a flash of darkness.

As soon as the first blow connected, chaos reigned within Alucard's body. The century's old being suddenly had sins spread out across dozens of lifetimes assaulting him all out once. The souls of those he had absorbed took the brunt of the attacking, perishing in agony under the weight of all of the evil deeds the vampire had caused throughout his long life. But the souls continued to vanish at a faster and faster rate, and the attack of the sins didn't let up. As the last of the souls faded away, hundreds more sins reared up, striking at the now vulnerable soul of Alucard. The pain was immense, the pain of hundreds of years all rebounded back onto him in a single moment. While the vampire's body was capable of recovering from any wound, his soul did not have the some luxury. As the final blow connected, it snapped, broke, and vanished.

The sign of heaven burning clearly in the air, Akuma stood over his downed opponent. Seras watched her master for any sign that he was recovering, but to her horror his body began to rapidly decay before her. Soon all that was left was a skeleton, and there was absolutely no sign that his legendary healing prowess were functioning. Seras watched Akuma with horror as he shifted back to his normal appearance, a serene expression coming to his face.

"A far better battle than I had hoped. A draw. Finally… at long last…" The man collapsed, his strength leaving him as his finally reached its limit. The Master of Fists fell silent, leaving only a single person left to tell the tale of the two fallen warriors.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

This was quite literally the hardest chapter that I have ever written to decide a winner. They can both counter each other extremely well, and they are almost perfect equals. If you put a gun to my head and told me to pick one I would go with Akuma for the slight majority, but I'm quite pleased with the tie. The Raging Demon is practically custom made to put Alucard down, and it is one of Akuma's go to moves for a challenging opponent. This is especially true if I had counted the Oni form, there is literally nothing Alucard could do to put that form down. As it is now, I feel that Alucard would take a decent majority over Akuma's base form, but the second Shin Akuma came to play, that majority would shift sides. That's all there is too it.

NEXT TIME!

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, Christopher Paolini recreated Star Wars with dragons. Now two characters with nearly identical backstories will find themselves going head to head to decide just which series is truly superior! The last of the Jedi against the last free dragon rider. The Force vs Magic. The light saber vs the magical sword. Luke Skywalker vs Eragon Bromson!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Thanks everyone for reading, and sorry that this isn't the chapter that was promised. Hopefully there are no hard feelings. Please leave a review and let me know what you thought, I'm expecting some people to challenge me with this outcome. Let the debates begin!


	22. Old vs Newish

**Superhuman Fight Club**

**Heroes and villains from every dimension have one thing in common. They thoroughly enjoy beating each other up. Whether they protect the streets in shadows, stand tall as a symbol of heroism, thrive off of stealing from the less fortunate, or let out a maniacal laugh as they slaughter the innocents, all fight for what they believe in. But the question is, in a fight with no rules, who is left standing? We will take various versions of these characters from any and all realms of media to see if we can find an answer. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Thanks to S&amp;D for doing his Beta job. **

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Chapter 22: Old vs Newish**

A long time ago, a young princess carrying the last hope of a group of rebels was attacked, forcing her to send the item away towards an old warrior of a fallen peacekeeping order. The boy bonds with this hope, only for his family at the farm to be slain by agents of the empire. As a result the boy travels around with the old warrior, training in the ways of the old order until the old man is killed defending his student from agents of the empire. The boy is forced to flee to the rebels with the aid of his roguish friend and the newly rescued princess, leading to a massive confrontation between the two forces. The rebels take heavy hits, however the boy is able to, with the aid of a timely distraction from his allies, able to land a critical blow that ends the battle.

Afterwards the boy travels to a distant land to train with another old master, this time one of the greatest masters in the history of the old order. Meanwhile the boy's friends frantically work to evade the empire, desperately trying to link back up with the rebellion. The boy's training progresses slowly at first and he struggles with some of the lessons, however he eventually grows in power. Before the lessons are completed though, the boy decides to leave in order to aid his comrades in a dire situation. The heroes are eventually able to triumph in the battle, however the hero has an unfortunate confrontation with an evil family member that leaves him injured and without his own blade.

The hero recovers and decides to help his friends rescue another friend that had been captured by the empire during their chase. In an intense battle the agents of the empire are slain and their hostage is freed, allowing the hero to return to try and finish his training. Unfortunately that is no longer an option, as he his master is unable to train him and shortly after he passes away. The boy, his newly crafted blade in hand, leads the charge against the empire until he is eventually able to confront the emperor. He suffers through a brief confrontation with the evil family member but they then unite against the emperor and are able to defeat him. The day is saved the empire crumbled. That hero… was Luke Skywalker. Or was it Eragon Bromson?

These two heroes have a very similar storyline, so much so that some have taken to calling Eragon's entire story Star Wars as told from the setting of the Lord of the Rings. Lightsabers replaced with magical meteor blades, the Force replaced with magic, and starships replaced with dragons. However I'm not here to debate which series was better or whether or not one series is a bit too similar to the other (which I'm so glad about, that is a minefield I don't want to jump into right now), I'm here to give my take on who I believe would win if these two characters went head to head.

Luke Skywalker was taught the art of the lightsaber by Obi-Wan Kenobi. Luke (in the expanded universe) has been described as a dueling prodigy, one of the fastest learning and most skilled lightsaber users in the entire series. If you look at the Empire Strikes Back Luke was actually holding his own, maybe even winning against Darth Vader before the Sith decided to start using force techniques. In the next battle they had he had progressed to the point that he managed to defeat his father quite handily, and was able to survive several direct hits from the Emperor's lightning. Luke has nanosecond reaction time and is able to vastly enhance his physical abilities with the Force, reaching levels of speed so high that he appears as nothing but a blur to a regular human eyes. He was taken on entire assassination squads of Sith and he killed the living embodiment of the darkside Abeloth at least 4 time before trapping her for good. (Immortals are pesky like that.)

Luke's father Anakin was stated to have the potential of reaching 200% of Force power compared to the Emperor before his defeat at the hands of Obi-Wan and his transformation into Darth Vader. After he changed Vader reached a mere 40% of his potential, 80% of the Emperor. Luke, after years of honing his skills to reach the level of Grandmaster, is about 600% of the Emperor. With the Force Luke is strong enough to shatter an entire Star Destroyer and once managed to hide an entire planet with nothing but his own power. He has been trained in both sides of the Force, learning the power of the dark side from a clone of Emperor Palpatine before slaying him once more. He has immense mental strength from his training, holding off the mental manipulations of Sith Lords, dark creatures, and even Abeloth with usually only minor difficulty. Luke has no stated upper limit in his ability to draw upon the Force, however drawing on too much too fast has the potential of damaging his body. The frequency of this decreased as his skills have improved though, and he has surpassed every Master, both light and dark, who came before him. He may not be a Kryptonian but he is without a doubt the Superman of his realm.

That however, brings us to Luke's main problem. Like Superman, Luke constantly limits his own power, almost never going full out. Even against Abeloth he never really brought out his full power, keeping mostly to small scale tactics and relying more on his blade skills. He seems to fear his own power and the consequences of giving in to it. Should Luke ever lose control and fall over to the dark side, there isn't a single person in the universe capable of going toe to toe with him to bring him down. That isn't to say he never gets serious though, when Luke found out that his nephew Jacen Solo had murdered his wife and taken his son he went into a rage and ragdolled the guy. The only reason he didn't kill Jacen was because he found out that doing so would guarantee his path down the dark side.

Eragon Shadeslayer/Bromson can also be described as the Superman of his realm. However, his skills are quite different to Luke's. Unlike Luke, Eragon did not take naturally to the blade, but he made up for it with an intense workout regimen with a brutal taskmaster in his father Brom. Brom trained with Eragon for weeks on end, day after day driving him to his absolute limit until he reached his peak potential. He is also a master archer, reaching the peak of human abilities. However a peak human, no matter how skilled would not be able to combat the threats that Eragon combated. That's where magic came in.

As a Dragon Rider bonded with the dragon Saphira, Eragon had already had his body enhanced past that of a normal human, but that was merely the tip of the iceberg. Later in a magic ritual he was transformed into a human elf hybrid. Elves in the Inheritance realm can run at speeds just shy of a horse with the endurance to match. On top of that their physical strength far surpasses that of a human, they can tear apart a man with their bare hands. By the end of the series the combine elven and dragon magic had brought Eragon to a level even beyond that, there were almost no characters capable of facing him in a sword fight one on one. Even when they have the skill it doesn't mean they have the equipment. Eragon's blade Brisingr was forged of an alien metal and infused with magic. The blade is stronger than any earthly metal, capable of slicing through steel like butter, and it is infused with magic that lights it aflame with the shout of it's name. Doing so gradually uses up Eragon's strength but it gives his blade a massive damage boost, he is capable of cutting through walls and doors designed to withstand siege weapons in moments. While in this form, the weapon is comparable to a lightsaber.

Physical prowess and skill with weapons are only the tip of the iceberg with Eragon's power though. His true abilities and what makes him such a dangerous opponent is his magic. His magical abilities can be divided into two categories, mental power and spellcasting. With his mental powers Eragon can project his mind at his opponent and attempt to usurp their will with his own. This is a two way street however, Eragon's mind can be attacked at the same time that he is attempting to attack. He is protected by a combination of his own mental shields and those of Saphira, making it nearly impossible for any sole mind to overwhelm him. Once he gets into someone's mind he is even able to instakill them with a death word.

Instakill is one of the many abilities granted through Eragon's spellcasting abilities. Using the Ancient Language, Eragon is capable of channeling magical energy to complete practically any task. He can create wards strong enough to block any blow or he can launch fireballs capable of incinerating armies-to a point. Every single use of magic on Eragon's part requires the use of his energy to fuel the spell and he is only capable of using his spells for as long as he has energy to spend. Even knowing the name of the ancient language doesn't overcome this problem, he can do anything at all as long as he has enough juice to accomplish it. Luckily, Eragon's power limit is nowhere near as much of a problem as it would be for an ordinary Dragon Rider. First, he has mastered a dangerous ability that allows him to drain the life energy from his surrounds in order to empower himself. He can kill his surrounds with this technique, which is why he will only use it out of sheer desperation. Luke's force abilities can protect him from this, but any other surrounding life is fair game. However, his second source of power has made this ability all but obsolete.

When a dragon and its rider are bonded, both are linked so much so that either has trouble surviving if the other dies. However, can be far less of a problem in the case of the dragon's death. For when a dragon dies in Eragon's realm, they have a chance to seal their power and consciousness into Eldunari, gem like structures within a dragon's chest. Eragon has dozens of these hearts on him, along with several hundred liberated from the emperor. The combine power of that many dragons is nothing to scoff at, Eragon can maintain even the most taxing of spells far beyond any normal ride's limit. So now the question is, can the power of the dragons outmatch the power of the Force?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

(Insert Star Wars theme here/pretend the following words are scrolling past at an agonizingly slow rate)

LOOKING FOR SOLACE AFTER THE BATTLE WITH ABELOTH AND THE BEGINNING OF THE WAR WITH THE SITH, LUKE SKYWALKER HAS DEPARTED FROM HIS FAMILY AND VENTURED OUT INTO THE UNKNOWN, TRUSTING THE FORCE TO GUIDE HIM. WITH ONLY R2-D2 AS COMPANY, THE GRANDMASTER OF THE NEW JEDI ORDER HAS STOPPED AT AN UNKNOWN PLANET WHERE HE HAS SENSED A STRANGE NEW POWER ON THE SURFACE ON AN SMALL ISLAND OFF OF THE PLANET'S LARGEST CONTINENT…

When the X-Wing burst through the clouds Luke stared down at a rundown looking stone fortress. The massive power he felt was originating from somewhere within, a power different than anything he had ever sensed before. The Force was alive and well on this planet, but it seemed like the beings on the ground had no use for it. Instead this strange new energy empowered the living, some only slightly while others carried enough to be wielded freely. But the power on this island, it was on a completely different level. Even the majority of the Sith he had come across likely wouldn't be able to match up with this power.

With more and more questions forming about this planet with each passing moment, Luke circled the island and looked for a place to land. He ignored the stealth drive for the moment, figuring that the planet was too primitive for him to worry about being spotted as he went in. R2's sensor went down all along the rocks to check the stability of the island and Luke's Force senses were aimed down at the massive power below too the near exclusion of anything else. How else could he nearly miss the massive flying lizard charging straight for him?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Eragon! _

The first Dragon Rider of the new order snapped awake in a moment at the mental call of his partner Saphira. As his senses came to life a massive power became known to him flying far above. Saphira was rapidly approaching it through the clouds. The young man dashed outside, grabbing his sword as he moved.

_Saphira, what is it? What's up there with you?_

_ I… I don't know. It is metal, with a strange glow at the back and some sort of glass towards the top. There is a little dome that keeps moving back and forth like it is looking around. Whatever it is, it is intruding in my territory! I'm going to remove it._

_ Be careful, it could be some new type of weapon from the remnants of the Empire that keep cropping up, a flying creature with some sort of armor._

_ Then I shall show it the pecking order of the sky. _

Saphira rushed the contraption from the sky and unleashed a slew of fire towards the device. At the last second it swerved, a tinge of blue lighting up along the back that shielded it from even a glancing blow.

_Saphira, I think it has some sort of ward. I'll start working on it, keep it distracted!_

_ Don't interfere Eragon, I shall hunt this prey myself. No creature of the sky is on par with a dragon. _

The world's current most powerful dragon twisted after the object, launching another massive blast of flame that struck it head on. The shield flared for a moment then failed with a whine. Even from his distance far below, Eragon could hear the strange, panicked screeching that the strange dome was making. The thing suddenly dove into a corkscrew that turned into a barrel roll, putting distance between it and Saphira. As she tried to close the distance once more the ship spun around to face the dragon head on. A quad of red flashes burst forth from the wings of the thing and smashed into her hide, completely bypassing every ward that Eragon had around her. Saphira roared in agony as the blasts left angry wounds along her hide and began an unstable decent towards the ground.

_Saphira! Are you alright?_

_ Eragon… whatever that is, it bypassed the wards. I'll be alright, but I need to land to try and recover. _

_ Take all the time you need, I'll handle this._

_ I'll be back as soon as I can, be careful._

Eragon brought out his bow as the strange thing flew around and tracked its movement carefully. Then he let the arrow fly along with the whispered word, Brisingr. The arrow ignited in blue energy as it blazed through the air and connected perfectly with the just regenerating shields on the device. A blue explosion rocked the vessel and the top glass portion opened up. A figure jump out from the thing, falling almost a quarter of a mile and landing gracefully on his feet across from Eragon. The figure put a finger to his ear and began speaking in a strange dialect that the Rider couldn't identify. The device then turned away, still smoking, and flew off into the distance. Then the man turned and spoke to him as well but Eragon was unable to determine what he was saying. Not that it would have mattered for the one that had shot his partner out of the sky. Eragon drew his blade from his sheath and charged.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Luke cushioned his fall with the Force and immediately opened up a channel with R2.

"Take the ship out of here and try and patch it up as best you can so that we can get out of here quickly if we need to. I think I'm about to meet the locals. The source of the power Luke had detected was before him, a young man with pointed ears, light brown hair, and slightly rugged features.

"Hello, my name is Luke Skywalker. Might I ask your name?" The man failed to respond and Luke quietly groaned to himself as he realized the likely problem. Of course, on the rare occasion that one actually wanted C3PO around he was nowhere to be found. The young man reached for his blade and darted forward, prompting Luke to do the same. The green blade of his lightsaber burst to life and met the metal sword head on, and to Luke's astonishment, held. The sword deflected the lightsaber and swung in again, forcing Luke to sidestep. As the boy stepped in again Luke shoved him away through the Force, gaining a bit of distance. The two faced off, blades squared and at the ready.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Eragon felt the power of the push, and suddenly magic was on the table. The young man spoke a death word, one to pinch the blood flow to the brain closed. Within a nanosecond Luke felt the power going to work in his head and flared the Force, keeping the vein open and him conscious. Then he spread that protection to the rest of his body, blocking out any more of Eragon's attempts. Unworried, Eragon spoke another word and lifted up a large boulder from the ground beside him. The boulder suddenly shattered into thousands of little pebbles that began firing off a Luke like bullets. Luke's blade flashed at speeds beyond a normal human's comprehension, vaporizing each and every one of the projectiles as they came in. Then he dashed forwards, swinging his blade straight for his opponent's sword arm. Before it could connect, the blade suddenly stopped as though there was some sort of barrier keeping him at bay. Eragon smirked slightly as he moved in for another swing but Luke batted the attack away and retaliated, only for his blade to come to a stop a second time.

Luke felt a presence push up against his mind and try to gain dominance. He threw up every mental defense he could and bounced the attack off, sending his own telepathy through the Force towards his opponent. The Rider winced slightly before he too got his defenses up, and for the rest of the battle the two would be exchanging mental blows along with the physical.

Eragon spoke a word of power and suddenly the air around the Jedi was far heavier, as though he was moving through molasses. Empowering his limbs with the Force he rocketed towards is opponent like a bullet, forcing the Rider on the defensive. The air quickly lightened once more as it became a hindrance to them both and Luke quickly tried to fire off another Push. The energy flared uselessly against Eragon as the younger man's wards held strong. Eragon responded with his own telekinetic blast, but likewise it was shrugged off by the Force augmented warrior. The two eyed each other for a moment, running through a list of options available to them. Their abilities kept canceling out one another, and both had energy to burn. A second passed.

Two.

Three.

Then they exploded forwards. The two men became blurs as they clashed their blades, trading strikes at such a high rate that the stone beneath them began to crack. With a cry of Brisingr the metal blade ignited in flame, sending sparks flying in every direction as the two blades parried and slashed back and forth. As the battle progressed though, Eragon found himself having to rely more and more on his wards as the speed of his opponent began to overwhelm him. He far away he felt Saphira begin to send him her power but he rejected it, not wanting to interrupt her healing. Instead he stretched his mind downwards, coming into contact with the dozen of dragon hearts lying below. The dragon's senses the conflict below and a flood of energy poured into the rider, multiplying his strength over a dozen times over. He threw all of his death words at the Jedi, putting a constant pressure on his passive Force defense, beginning to tax his powers. Still the Jedi kept coming, increasing his connection with the Force and raising his abilities to an even higher level.

_Hang on Eragon, I'm almost ready to fly again. _

Eragon barely acknowledged the message as he dodged a thrust from the glowing blade that would have pierced his heart. He launch a bolt of lightning from his palm that Luke swatted aside, then sidestepped the boulder that the Jedi launched at him in retaliation. The Dragon Rider sighed in annoyance, he had been hoping to avoid this. Glaring hard at his opponent, Eragon spoke The Word. The name of the ancient language can bring any magic user to a fault, and defeat any being that he had ever heard of. That is why when the Jedi was completely unaffected, the young man was left completely dumbfounded. The only way they would be unaffected was if they didn't use magic of any sort to access their power.

As that realization struck the Rider, the Jedi's mind was also racing. He could feel his opponent's power fluctuating with every close call from whatever was defending him. He could also sense outside forces sustaining the young man, keeping him empowered and on his feet. With the amount of power he had backing him, Luke would likely slip up before his opponent ran out of gas. He needed to find a way to end this quickly. The shields protected the swordsmen from any direct damage but it cost him energy…

Luke blocked several blows from the flaming sword while simultaneously scanning his environment, looking for anything he could use to his advantage. That's when he noticed how unstable the ground had become. With a grin, the Jedi Grandmaster struck.

Eragon let out a yelp of surprise as suddenly the ground below them all erupted up into the air, breaking up into a dozen different platforms hovering at different levels. Suddenly the battle had changed from a straight up sword fight to a three dimensional battle, and the younger boy was unprepared. Luke was bounding across the platforms, occasionally leaping in to land a few blows before retreating back out of range. Eragon drew his bow once more to try and counter, letting arrows fly as fast as he could draw the string. Luke effortlessly swatted them out of the air, right up until an arrow with a blue glowing tip detonated as it struck the energy blade. Luke let out a cry of pain as his blade was vaporized, taking his robotic hand with it. The older combatant let out a growl and focused his power, lifting himself up into the air.

Eragon fired off another enhanced arrow, only for the shaft to pull a sudden 180 and fly right back at him. The Rider leapt off the platform towards another below, barely avoiding the explosion behind him. But then the second his feet connected with the platform, it started to move. Eragon found himself flipped upside down and launched straight towards the Rider's headquarters. He crashed straight through several floors, the wards barely managing to keep him intact. The platform crashed down on top of him, followed by every other stone that Luke had lifted up.

High above, Luke clenched his remaining good hand, crushing the entire castle down on top of the Rider. Deep below the Rider was trapped, every single drop of power he had was going into keeping his wards intact so that the tons of stones above him would not move the remaining foot down to crush him. Luke surveyed the destruction for a moment before walking away, reaching up once more to contact his trusty droid.

"R2, I'm ready for pickup. I think you need to fly us home though little guy."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Shortly after Luke's departure, Saphira finally arrived. She work quickly but carefully, drawing on her magic to tunnel through the stone and free her partner. When she found him he was barely conscious, the stress from holding up so much nearly reaching his limit. He passed out as Saphira rushed off of the island towards the main continent several miles away. There was no way she would allow the boy to stay untended too, he would likely need medical attention. It was time to break a promise and prove a prophecy false.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I'm going to make Rock Lee sad with this, but when you have two characters with equal training and skill, the prodigy will overcome the hard worker. Both went through very similar experiences over the course of their career, however Luke is the one who was able to quickly and easily surpass his fallen brethren. He is simply more naturally talented in terms of their blade skills. As for their powers, the Force is a ready counter to anything Eragon could do. Speed and strength can readily be augmented, and Luke's reaction speed is superior to the elf man hybrid. He has several feats of reacting within a nanosecond, something Eragon has no evidence of being capable of.

In the sky, with or without Eragon, Luke had the advantage. An X-Wing, especially the Stealth-Xs of the current books, have more than enough firepower to easily defeat one, and the shielding necessary to survive their attacks. While both characters are very similar, Luke is able to edge out his younger counterpart to pretty much every category, giving him the win.

Next Time, a fight that absolutely nobody requested that I really want to do anyways! A three way battle between Warrior Gods, each one capable of shattering a planet with ease.

"Have at thee, I'll show you the power of the Prince of Asgard."

"Do you think that scares me? I am the Prince of all Saiyans!"

"Hera, grant me the strength to triumph!"


	23. Thunder War and Pride

**Superhuman Fight Club**

**Heroes and villains from every dimension have one thing in common. They thoroughly enjoy beating each other up. Whether they protect the streets in shadows, stand tall as a symbol of heroism, thrive off of stealing from the less fortunate, or let out a maniacal laugh as they slaughter the innocents, all fight for what they believe in. But the question is, in a fight with no rules, who is left standing? We will take various versions of these characters from any and all realms of media to see if we can find an answer. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Thanks to S&amp;D for doing his Beta job. **

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Chapter 23: Thunder, War, and Pride**

God. Such an interesting word. It has referred to literally hundreds of beings since the dawn of mankind, some of which people have passed into myth while others are still worshiped to this day. There exists a massive range of gods, some with powers that barely exceed that of a human, and others that are literally everywhere, everything, always. Right now though, you shouldn't be caring about any of those gods. The beings we are looking at today are a fair bit more recent and there is no debate whether they are real or not. Instead, there is only a debate on who is the strongest.

Thor Odinson, the Thunderer. Marvel's most famous God, based on the Norse Mythology and wielder of the mighty Mjolnir.

Diana Prince, Wonder Woman. Demigod Daughter of Zeus, newly made God of War.

Vegeta, Prince of all Saiyans. The second Super Saiyan God of Modern Times.

Three mind bogglingly powerful characters, each with the ability to destroy planets with ease. But who is the strongest of these godly beings? I'm going to be going a bit more in depth with this than usual, because there is a lot more to factor in here compared to most of the previous matchups. I'll start with a bit of background for each of the characters, then compare and contrast the skills and abilities of all three. First up, the Prince of Asgard.

Thor Odinson is the second strongest Asgardian behind only his father. He has fought everyone from Doctor Doom to Thanos, from Galactus to his own brother Loki. He is no leader and no tactician, but there is nothing that Thor wouldn't do to defend his home and his friends. For this fight we will be looking at Thor up until the FemThor became a thing a while back. Still not entirely sure why they did that but it's proven to be a decent concept. FemThor won't be making an appearance here though, she just can't hang with the original God of Thunder.

Thor is not the most skilled fighter on the Avengers. Honestly, he isn't even really close. He doesn't need to be. Instead he is a brawler, a fighter who lashes out with all of their power and commits fully to every strike. The logic behind this method of fighting is simple. Why waste time with fancy techniques when you can just smash your opponent into the dirt with a single hit?

Thor is without a doubt a dangerous opponent to face off against. However, the true danger of facing the God of Thunder comes from Mjolnir. Without the hammer Thor's powers would just put him at a mid-level metahuman, but with it he ranks as a high level Herald in terms of power. Normally Thor is fairly slow, struggling to tag opponents like Spider-Man and Wolverine in unarmed combat. But then he can swing Mjolnir around at twice the speed of light to attack his foes, and it is able to launch him through air and space at the same speed. He also possesses durability to match his fighting style, it would take a character in the Hulk's weight class to do any serious damage while he can pound away at them all day. Captain America may be more skilled in unarmed combat, but with Mjolnir in hand he can defeat almost any incarnation of the Avengers by himself.

Mjolnir also gives the Thunder God a slew of extra powers beyond just his speed and strength. You know the classic weather manipulation and control over lightning. Mjolnir is also capable of creating earthquakes that can devastate nations. If swung at full strength it can produce shockwaves capable of shattering planets. It can manipulate energy, meaning that as long as Thor can react to it quickly enough he can negate any energy based attack aimed his way. This ability could prove particularly useful against a certain Saiyan Prince. But of course, the greatest ability he wields is the God Blast. Channeling a far greater amount of lightning than any normal attack, Thor puts the entirety of his Godly might into a single blow. This attack is so powerful that destroying a planet would be a low end feat for it. This blow was actually able to stagger Galactus, who under normal circumstances wouldn't even feel anything Thor could do to him. In terms of raw striking power and physical durability, Thor is likely to take first place for this battle. But raw power isn't all there is to a fight.

It is important to note that Thor is a very prideful and straightforward combatant. He is by no means a tactical fighter, in fact he is rather poor at strategy. He has never needed to be a tactician, he has always been the muscles behind the Avengers instead of the leader. Thor is also somewhat quick to anger and isn't known for quick thinking any more than he is for tactics.

Moving on.

The Amazons of the new 52 are, to be frank, completely F'ed up. Wanna know how they make sure they are always able to have women warriors on the island? They sail out off the island, find any passing ships, hop on, rape all of the men in the hopes of getting pregnant, and then kill all of the people on the ship and throw their bodies into the sea. Then the female children are raised as Amazons while the males are traded off to Hephaestus as indentured servants for their entire lives in exchange for weapons. Charming.

Wonder Woman, known in Man's world as Diana Prince, has a slightly different backstory. No I'm not talking about the gods breathing life into clay or anything like that, that's been retconned. What's her new mysterious secret origin now? Her mom and Zeus banged and created the strongest Demigod to ever exist. A founding member of the Justice League, Wonder Woman has proved to be one of the most interesting characters of the New 52, bringing in a slew of new powers and side characters that gave her some of the best character development of recent DC history. One of the more interesting facts about this Wonder Woman is that while she is the champion of peace, her father figure was the God of War. Ares took an active role in training and mentoring the Demigod, helping her earn her place as one of the most skilled fighters on planet Earth. Then when he was about to be killed by a powerful villain to absorb the power of the God of War, Diana pulled a Kratos and killed Ares instead, taking his place. Wielding this new power she has very few people capable of matching up with her even on the Justice League.

Wonder Woman is the quite possibly the single most skilled member of the Justice League in terms of hand to hand combat, with Batman being her only real competitor. Her strength is also impressive, she has been shown to be able to carry aircraft carriers on her back and fly around like that. She is capable of hanging with and even defeating Kryptonians in a straight up fight, the most notable being Supergirl. Thanks to the blessings of Hermes she is shown to be at the very least hyper sonic, and some believe her to be easily faster than light. Her reflexes are not even questioned in that regard, as in that category she has surpassed even Superman. Her movement speed might not be quite on that level, but that hardly matters when you can block everything thrown at you. However she does have one important weakness. Wonder Woman is particularly vulnerable to piercing damage, bullets are capable of actually wounding her if she for some reason fails to block them.

On top of her impressive physical abilities, Wonder Woman also brings her own array of magical equipment to the table. To start we have her most iconic equipment, the Lasso of Truth. The lasso is a magical item that cannot be broken and can extend to any length. Any person restrained by the lasso is compelled to only speak the truth. Supergirl has proven that it is possible to escape if one can utilize enough explosive energy, however the force of the move drained her of a large portion of her strength. This is not an easy feat to replicate. On top of that, certain versions of the lasso are also able to conduct Zeus' lightning. Anyone trapped within can be fried.

Her next bit of equipment is in my opinion, far superior to the lasso. Her twin magical bracelets are such a powerful defense that not even Captain America's shield can compare. She can block any projectile attack with it, no matter what degree of power is being used. This includes any sort of bullet or energy attack or anything similar. Not even Darkseid's Omega Beams have been able to breach this defense. They are capable of the same with physical attacks, as long as she can get her wrists to where they are needed she can take any blow. They also have been recently upgraded to serve as her own personal pocket dimension, allowing her to summon any of her weapons to her at any given point. However, Wonder Woman is at her most powerful when her bracelets come off.

The First Born attacked Ares with everything he had, bringing him to deaths door. Out of time Ares instead allowed Wonder Woman to deliver the final blow and those she became the new God of War. By taking off the bracelets Diana is able to access the full might of her godly powers, signified by glowing blue eyes. While she lacks the defensive abilities of the bracelets like this, her power supposedly increases roughly tenfold. She also becomes more violent like this, taking on the more dangerous aspects of a god of conflict.

And finally:

Prince of the Saiyans, remnant of a fallen warrior race, the only DBZ character capable of challenging Piccolo for the title of biggest badass, enter Vegeta. As a child Vegeta grew up as a ruthless killer under the rule of the tyrant Frieza. He flew around from planet to planet, committing acts of genocide until he eventually ended up on Earth. You know what happened next. Vegeta has now settled down as one of the Z-Fighters, sometimes even acting as their leader. Practically the living embodiment of pride, Vegeta's greatest desire is to finally surpass his rival Goku. It has been everything he strived for more than a decade, and apparently right before Goku became a God he succeeded. Having achieved the power of the Super Saiyan God himself, Vegeta now stands shoulder to shoulder with his fellow Saiyan.

As Vegeta hasn't gotten much screen time yet in Dragon Ball Super, we have to look at the fights we've seen with Goku and Beerus to get a sense of his powers. In Resurrection of F Whis says that the two Saiyans are roughly equal in power so the feats should be applicable. Beerus is proven to be far faster than light and by a wide margin and is capable of busting planets with _literally_ a poke. With the power of a Super Saiyan God we have seen a minor healing factor that was able to completely regenerate a puncture wound straight through Goku's gut. We have also seen a degree of energy manipulation when Goku caught a planet busting attack in his hands and bear hugged it into nothing.

Vegeta himself is one of the more intelligent Z Fighters and has developed an impressive number of original attacks. These attacks come in three varieties, beam, explosive and piercing. The Galick Gun and the Final Flash are his most notable beam attacks. The first is a quick fire attack that he can charge and fire almost instantly (outside of the first Goku vs Vegeta fight anyways) while the Final Flash requires a far slower charge for a far more powerful attack. The Big Bang Attack is his most famous explosive attack while the Atomic Smash is a piercing attack that he used to blow a ton of holes (futilely) into Buu.

Vegeta's power requires no special equipment, instead it relies on his natural energy called Ki. Both his durability and his physical strength depend on how much energy he is channeling.

Now, let me clarify two misconceptions. First, Saiyan base strength being around 40 tons. Tell me, if that was truly the extent of his strength then how did Goku punch Frieza through two mountains? 40 tons of force would barely dent a mountain of that size, let alone punch through two of them. Instead it is likely that the planet had an unknown amount of gravity greater than that of Earth. We know there are planets like that in their universe, it makes sense. Then, the instance of Vegeta dying in Resurrection of F. It was stated that he was killed by the lack of oxygen, NOT by the actual planet exploding. Whis even said that he thought that Frieza had survived the blast when he was far worse off than Vegeta. Then for the bit with Goku being pierced by the ring, it was stated that Goku was overconfident and powered down. Otherwise that attack would not have worked. We've seen Super Saiyan God overwhelm several dozen planet busting attacks at once, so as long as he uses his abilities normally then he won't have an issue here.

Vegeta's biggest disadvantage in this fight is his pride. On no less than six different occasions since his appearance in DBZ Vegeta has gotten overconfident in his fights and has gotten badly wounded or even killed as a result. He is even liable to let his opponent power up if he thinks that it will give him a more interesting battle. He has gradually gotten better with this as the series progressed into the Super arc, however I would argue that he is likely to do the same thing if he ever gets a solid advantage in a fight.

After becoming a Super Saiyan God Vegeta has absorbed the forms power, taking the majority of it and using it to power up his base form to a level beyond even a Super Saiyan 3. This is just the first stage of his godly powers though as he can use the moronically named Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan, also known as the Blue Super Saiyan. This is a massive increase to all of his stats and abilities and has the added bonus of being slightly less ridiculous looking than Super Saiyan 3. Finally, Vegeta is prone to fits of anger. As seen in his battle with Beerus, if something sets Vegeta off his power increases even more, it made his SSJ 2 form even stronger than Goku's full power SSJ 3. If he loses his cool like that, someone's going to feel it.

So which God will stand supreme in the end? Here we go.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So we are agreed then? Both of you pick a champion to face off against each other and my son in order to settle our bet?" Odin grumbled.

"Of course, this is just a lovely way to settle our bet. Oh, I just can't wait to taste all of your exquisite cuisine once my fighter wins!" cheered Whis.

"We will see about that! My daughter shall prove to be a greater challenge than either of you will believe!" Said Zeus.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Thor was the first to arrive to the designated battleground, crashing to the ground of the foreign planet with the force of a lightning bolt. He noted the mostly barren mountainous area before he began scanning the skies for his opponents.

Diana joined him moments later, fly through the sky gracefully before coming to a gentle landing besides the Thunderer. She gave him a short nod before she too settled in to wait. Minutes later a pair of men materialized into the air before them.

"Alright Vegeta, here you go! Give it your best shot buddy!"

"Of course clown. Just head back to that old Kai friend of yours and watch the show. You can pick me up when I'm done."

"Alright, have fun!"

"Hmph. Entering a battle with a pair of unknown gods and he tells me to have fun. Sounds about right. Alright then, whenever you two are ready." Wonder Woman sunk into a combat stance but Thor was looking at Vegeta with a measure of confusion.

"Tell me dwarf, are you sure that you should take part in this battle? You are of far smaller stature than your ally and seen like you may also lack his power. Perhaps you and he should trade places so that you are not unduly injured?" The Goddess of War had to use much of her godly strength to hold back the snicker that threatened to escape at the sight of the massive vein that throbbed into sight on the little man's head.

"Alright then blondie, I was going to go after the woman first to make up for an incident I had a few years back. But thank you for volunteering, I'd be more than happy to let you go first." Wonder Woman smirked at the Saiyan and threw out a challenge of her own.

"It's probably safer for you anyways, you are unlikely to pose any threat to me."

"Oh we'll see about that. After I shove the pretty boy's hammer up his ass then you can show me just how good with that rope you are."

"Do not fret fair lady, I shall protect your honor from this miniature brute."

"Protect my honor? You should be far more worried about yourself, make sure you don't knock yourself with that pitiful weapon barbarian."

"My lady, I was merely-"

"Atomic Smash!" Thor was cut off when a burst of ki smashed into his face and blasted him into the distance. Wonder Woman whipped around to see the Saiyan Prince charging at her and threw a straight punch towards his nose. Vegeta ducked under the blow and returned with an uppercut that made her stumble backwards. Growling the Amazon flicked her wrists and materialized a pair of short swords into her hands. Vegeta was forced to dodge back out of the way as the Princess charged at him in a whirlwind of spinning blades. The two came to a halt with a few meters between them, looking for any sort of opening. Vegeta was about to move in when a massive shockwave from the side knocked both fighters off balance.

The moment Thor had reoriented himself from the surprise attack he had slammed Mjolnir into the ground, unleashing an earthquake so mighty that dozens of volcanoes around the planet simultaneously erupted. The god chucked his hammer and caught the short man in the side and sent him sailing into a nearby mountain. Diana turned to face him as the Thunderer calmly held out his hand to recall his weapon. The hilt hit the palm of his hand just as Wonder Woman began her swing and the Asgardian swung his own weapon out to meet it. The sword, forged by Hephaestus himself, shattered the instant it made contact with the legendary hammer. Diana's warrior instinct crushed down her surprise and she quickly threw up an arm to block the incoming counterstrike. The hammer smashed into the bracelet, stunning the Goddess but leaving her otherwise unharmed. Thor's next attack was interrupted by a sharp jab to the nose that snapped his head back in a spurt of blood.

"BIG BANG ATTACK!" Thor's flicked his wrist and Mjolnir started rotating so quickly in front of him it appeared as one solid mass. The glowing orb was sucked up into the vortex and with a grunt Thor sent the blast sailing straight back towards its source. The Saiyan's eyes widened in shock as the blast detonated against his chest. He tumbled through the air for a moment before he managed to regain control and blasted back towards the battle. Firing off a half dozen smaller blasts towards the Princess as he moved in he dodged out of the way of the Thunderer's next strike and buried his fist into the god's gut. Thor let out a grunt and took a pained step back when Diana moved in, catching each fighter by the throat. Her arms were still smoking slightly from blocking Vegeta's attack she allowed the two men to maneuver one another into a vulnerable position. Now she slammed both into the ground and delivered a pair of earth shaking kicks that sent them sailing off into opposite directions.

The woman chucked a pair of knives after the blonde god and then took off in pursuit of the black haired one. Vegeta didn't bother trying to catch the next sword slash, instead he threw both arms forward and caught the blade between them. Wonder Woman didn't hesitate and shot her leg out to catch the shorter man in the gut before stabbing forwards a second time.

Vegeta's grip on the blade weakened the moment the kick connected and he was forced to spin out of the way to avoid being impaled. Snarling the Prince snagged the warrior by the hair and took off at top speed straight towards the nearest mountain. With a flick of his wrist he threw her in front of him and then unleashed a punch straight to her gut. The rock formation behind her cracked from the shockwave before it was shattered completely as Diana was sent flying through it as well as the next half dozen mountains behind it. With a grin of satisfaction Vegeta made to charge after her when he sensed a growing power nearby. Juking to the side he managed to dodge the bolt of lightning that came tearing out of the sky towards him. Above him the massive storm clouds seemed to form from nothing and typhoon level winds and rain began pelting that battlefield.

"Is this the best you can do? Some flashy lights and parlor tricks? I've withstood such storms since I was a child, do you really think that the Prince of the Saiyans would fall so easily?" Vegeta yelled up into the sky. In response the lightning intensified, dozens, then hundreds of bolts flashing around the land as Vegeta bobbed and weaved with supersonic speed. As he moved he casually scanned the area, searching for any sign of the blonde god. A whirling sound behind him alerted him at the last possible moment and in a burst of speed he left an Afterimage behind to take the hammer throw in his place. The hammer sped through with no effect and Vegeta phased back into sight a few meters away.

With a roar Thor leapt at Vegeta and caught him with a haymaker straight to the nose. Grinning at the audible crack of breaking cartilage the Thunder God followed through with a few more hard hits that staggered the Saiyan backwards. Vegeta's eyes snapped up suddenly and he tilted his head just enough for the next punch to miss. With a smirk he drilled his opponent in the gut and then kicked the god's legs out from under him. Thor fell down onto all fours with a groan before looking up right into Vegeta's glowing palm.

"Well, that's it for you Goldilocks. I'll give this one chance because I know Kakarot won't spot harassing me if I don't; give up right now or I'll kill you." Thor rose up on his knees and met the Saiyan Prince's gaze with a hard glare.

"You'd ask the Prince of Asgard to bow out of such a mighty battle? You'd ask me to forsake my honor? I TELL THEE NAY!" Vegeta never saw Mjolnir coming as it returned to its Master. The hammer clipped the Saiyan's outstretched arm as it flew in with enough force to shatter bone. Catching and attacking in a single movement, Thor spun Mjolnir a single time as it came in before jabbing Vegeta straight in the sternum with it. The shorter man was blasted backwards- straight onto Diana's sword.

Vegeta's eyes widened in pain as the blade pierced his back. He looked down to see the tip protruding from his stomach, a small trail of blood dripping down his front and into the stone surface below. Thor held off his attack as the Amazon leaned in and whispered into the Saiyan's ear.

"Athena has told me about you, Prince of a fallen race of genocidal monsters who took pleasure in slaughtering entire planets. Prince of a single other pure blooded member of your species, the only one of your kind who shows any degree of honor or compassion in the slightest. A Prince who held a petty grudge for decades because his insecurities and his pride cannot handle the mere thought that someone might actually be better than him. You are a sad, pathetic being with no redeeming qualities that I can see. I have no doubt that your world would be a better place without you." Diana punctuate her rant with a twist of her blade, opening up the already deadly wound, spurting blood out of either side of the Prince's body. With a flick of the wrist Wonder Woman flung Vegeta from her blade, sending his dying body sailing off into the distance.

Without any warning Diana snatched her lasso from her wrist and flung it onto the Prince of Thunder, entangling his arms to his side. She watched dispassionately as he struggled fruitlessly against the enchanted rope.

"Tell me Asgardian, is your hammer truly your source of power." Thor was surprised by the 'yes' that ripped itself from his lips and he renewed his escape attempts with increased strength.

"As I thought. Once again Athena proves her knowledge, the Asgardians are on a far lower level than the Olympians. Odin might be Zeus's equal, but the rest of your pantheon is nothing compared to the might of my own. Without your toy you wouldn't even pose a threat."

"That is quite the claim Olympian. Tis true, your Olympians are quite powerful. But to claim that you are more powerful than the might of Asgard is something else. Your arrogance shall be your undoing."

"We shall see." With no visible prompting the lasso suddenly crackled with electric energy, bombarding the Asgardian with all of the power of Zeus. The Son of Odin did not falter under this attack though, instead he grabbed onto the lasso and pulled removing any slack. As the lightning coursed through his body he brought Mjolnir up against the lasso and smirked.

"FOR ASGARD!" Zeus's lightning was overwhelmed by the sheer power of the Thunderer's weapon, the lasso's magic was beaten back as Thor's own was sent racing through its length. Wonder Woman never saw the sudden burst of power, one moment she was unleashing Olympian might on her opponent and the next her entire body was alight with pain. Diana screamed as the lightning ripped through her body and her grip on the lasso slackened. The instant Thor felt his restraints begin to fall away he was moving. He closed the distance between the two in a second a delivered a titanic blow that sent her hurtling into the air.

Wonder Woman turned to orient herself in time to see Thor spinning his hammer at such a high speed that he was whipping up a hurricane. The entire country side was lit up with the pale blue light that was coming off of the weapon, bolts of energy were literally splitting the mountains around him. With a yell that shook the heavens the God of Thunder unleashed his most powerful blast.

Diana threw her bracelets in front of her right as the attack reached her, blocked its power and stopped it from killing her. But even the power of the bracelets were not enough to completely block the pain of the blow, or enough to cushion its force. Her entire nervous system was nothing but agony as she was propelled off into space along with the most brilliant bolt of lightning the solar system had ever seen. The blast faded on Thor stared up into the sky with a smile, seeing no trace left of his adversary.

"That is the might of an Asgardian."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Vegeta with his face in the ground racked in pain as the blood oozed out of his body.

"Pathetic…caught off guard and left to die in the dirt. The bitch couldn't even face me head on…" The Saiyan Prince pushed himself onto all fours with a groan, coughing up globs of blood and spit as he moved.

"But her words. Insulting me, my heritage and my people… I can't let that stand. I will not let it stand…" A cyan glow engulfed his wounds, flickering like fire, filling him with power as he rose to his feet. The dust began to kick up around his feet as he stood, allowing the blue light to envelop his entire body.

Galaxies away Goku smiled.

"I WILL NOT LET HER INSULT THE NAME OF THE SAIYANS!" At the exact moment that Thor's blast lit up the sky, Vegeta lit up the planet. The transformation into a Super Saiyan God leveled the entire mountain side from where he stood, changing his hair to match his aura in the process.

**BATTLE MUSIC: You Want a Battle? (Here's a War)-Bullet for My Valentine**

The sonic boom of Vegeta's takeoff obliterated what was left of the surrounding landscape. More than a mile away his fist landed on Thor's face at the exact moment he took off. Thor was drilled down into the ground, leaving a trench in the ground over a thousand feet long by the unexpected blow. He came to a stop just in time for an uppercut that sent him into a nearby mountain peak and was met at the top with a kick that sent him straight through the entire thing. A dozen ki blasts followed him into the mountain, each erupting with the force of a dozen nuclear bombs. Mjolnir burst from the rubble and burst towards the Saiyan at max speed. The Prince dodged to the side, only for the weapon to curve after him. Seeing this the Prince smirked and vanished in a blur of speed, the hammer close behind him. A blue ring formed around the planet, then another and another. Each ring was punctuated with an explosion, each at a different spot than the last.

Vegeta circled the planet with the hammer in pursuit, smashing a fist into its master at each pass. The atmosphere was ignited with his speed, the ozone burned around him as he moved. The Thunderer couldn't react, he could only take each hit as it came. Finally on one rotation he caught the hammer as it came to him and threw up a wall of lightning in front of him. Vegeta easily avoided it and appeared at the Thunder God's side.

"You have to power to match me, maybe even beat me, however you lack the speed necessary to fight on my level. You're finished. Where is the woman?"

Thor's entire body was a massive bruise, his power was completely spent. Only sheer willpower was keeping him on his feet yet he still smiled at the angry warrior.

"A truly impressive performance friend, it his been a long time since I have battled someone of your level. I should enjoy another match with you in the future. I believe that you are the victor here, I blasted the woman into space while you were removed from the battle."

"No…I can sense her now. Hmph. Take a rest there blondie, the next round is about to start." A quick chop to the back of the neck sent the Thunderer into the realm of dreams, leaving it two on two.

Diana landed across from Vegeta moments later, the two fighters squaring off angrily.

"I see you have defeated Thor. He was a greater opponent than I gave him credit for, if it wasn't for my bracelets then the victor would be decided already. Now though, I can make sure that scum like you does not succeed."

"Let me tell you something woman. I am aware of what I've done, what my people have done. I know most would view us as monsters, probably rightly so. But as time has passed I've found a new home on my realms Earth. I've gotten family and friends there, people I care for and fight to protect. I have become an Earthling…AN EARTHLING WITH A SAIYANS PRIDE!"

"Muster up all the Pride you want, it still will not atone for the millions of deaths that can be placed squarely on your head! For their sake I shall kill you here so that you may be judged in the next world!"

"Been there, done that. Twice now actually, or maybe three if we count time travel. Regardless, death does not scare me. Even if it did though, you are incapable of granting it. You were a decent match for me powered down, but as a Super Saiyan God I'm in a completely different dimension. Your power isn't enough to defeat me."

"Then I'll merely have to unleash the power of a god myself!" Vegeta quirked an eyebrow as the bracelets fell from Diana's wrists. The result was instantaneous, her eyes lit up with blue energy and her skin made the slightest change of hues. But even the Saiyan Prince couldn't deny, the jump in power was impressive.

"Now there is a fight. Let's begin!" Vegeta opened with a small ki blast that Wonder Woman dodged as she charged in. Vegeta took note of her movements as he avoided the first punch and matched the second with a blow of his own. The planet itself shook from the impact as the two stalemated. The smile on the Saiyan's face grew as Wonder Woman failed to back down an inch and instead pressed her attack. He deflected a kick aimed at his head and dodged another aimed for his knees. Diana dashed forwards and grabbed onto his armor, holding him in place to land a few solid hits that had Vegeta gasping for air. He fired off another energy blast that she dodged and had to leap away to avoid taking another hit.

Wonder Woman pressed her attack, throwing out a combo with the power to demolish a small nation. Hard-pressed, Vegeta was forced to give more and more ground as the Amazon closed in on him. The smirk on her face matched his and soon both warriors were trading blows across the entire planet. Tectonic plates were shattered, volcanoes erupted, and mountains crumbled as the landscape was ravaged by the clash of the two fighters.

"You know, this is the second time I've been both disappointed and surprised at the same time today." Vegeta said as he drilled a kick into Diana's kidney.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She responded, deflecting a kick and attempting to respond with her own

"Well," he knocked the kick away, "The big guy had the power to compete with me but not the speed. At first you weren't really an issue but taking those bracelets off gave you a pretty good boost. But you've fallen for the same trap my son did years ago."

"A trap?"

"Your god powers have boosted your strength, but not any other of your abilities. On top of that… you've given up the only thing that was stopping me from beating you."

"What are you talking about?"

"With the bracelets out of my way, you simply cannot survive one of my attacks. Just like my idiot son forcing a transformation to gain power, at the cost of most of his speed."

"If you think that I need my bracelets to fight then you are sorely mistaken!" Diana grabbed the rope from her side and launched it at the Saiyan Prince. Vegeta dashed in himself, allowing the rope to begin to wrap around him as he brought his hands directly up to her face.

"GALICK GUN: FIRE!" A purple beam encompassed the planet, blasting out into space where it punch through a moon before disappearing into the void. When the glow faded away Vegeta stood next to the pulverized, barely conscious form of the Amazon Princess.

"Just to let you know, the only reason I didn't kill you was because Kakarot said he wouldn't teleport me home if I murdered anyone."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

And that's it. I'll be completely honest, I was planning on a different winner when I first announced this fight. But after seeing what the gods are capable of in Super now, the characters are just ridiculous. Beerus flew through a nebula and then part of a solar system in two minutes. A nebula can be anywhere between 1 and 300 **lightyears** long. This blows both Mjolnir and Wonder Woman out of the water, heck this is better than anything I've even seen from Superman. Then we have the fact that God mode can apparently overwhelm literally dozens of planet busting attacks at once, it's insane. Thor can match Vegeta for damage output but is completely dominated in speed to the point that he cannot compete while Wonder Woman can only keep up without her bracelets, leaving her completely vulnerable to the most dangerous attacks in Vegeta's arsenal. In the end, the newest of the God characters is simply the strongest. The win goes to the Prince of the Saiyans.

Just to let you guys know, this is the last of these I'll be doing for a while. I've really lost my interest in writing this compared to Escalation, to the point that this fight and the Luke vs Eragon fight felt like they were chores. I'll probably write more here eventually, but for now I'm just not interested. Thanks for everything here, have a good one.


	24. Undying Insanity

AN: A long time ago I promised one of my more faithful readers TheJokerMan that I would write him a fight of his choice. The problem was, I had no idea what to do with the character he requested that I use. So I kept pushing it back and pushing it back until I eventually just kinda of ignored its existence. That was a total dick move on my part and I feel bad about it now. So, I've temporarily put my writing schedule for Escalation on pause, I've come back to my first story after several months away, and I now present my apology to TheJokerman as well as the first of three new chapters before this story disappears again. So without further ado,

**Superhuman Fight Club**

**Heroes and villains from every dimension have one thing in common. They thoroughly enjoy beating each other up. Whether they protect the streets in shadows, stand tall as a symbol of heroism, thrive off of stealing from the less fortunate, or let out a maniacal laugh as they slaughter the innocents, all fight for what they believe in. But the question is, in a fight with no rules, who is left standing? We will take various versions of these characters from any and all realms of media to see if we can find an answer. **

**I own nothing here. DC owns Joker, Marvel owns Deadpool, and the various references Deadpool makes belong to people who are not me or anyone associated with me. **

**Chapter 24: Undying Insanity**

Deadpool and Joker. The insanity of man given form. One represents the craziness that we wish we could live, a nonstop party of one joke after another with no end in sight. The other is the darkness of mankind, the twisted parts of our souls that tell us cut loose and do whatever we want to whoever we want, consequences be damned.

But what if I told you there another force of darkness at play? An object that took all of your inner darkness that you kept compressed deep down inside of you and let it out into an explosion of violence and chaos?

What if I told you of…The Mask?

"You mean that Jim Carrey movie? Oh! You're talking about its sequel right? That was absolutely terrifying!"

Deadpool, fuck off and go sit in the corner until it's time for your fight!

"Jeez, no respect. I like it better when S&amp;D write my chapters anyways! At least he has a sense of humor. You just try and make all the fights all awesome and stuff, you can't figure out how to inject any comedy into it. Isn't that right guys?

…

…

"Guys?"

…

"Were you seriously too lazy to throw in the voices in my head? Really? Well fuck you too then! I'll just go further into the chapter and wait for all the ass-kicking to start."

The movies featuring the Mask are likely the most famous versions of the character. The first for being a showing of some great comedy, the second for being one of the most mentally scarring children's movie ever made. Seriously, this thing freaked me out when I saw it as a kid. But if I knew of the inspiration of these movies, if I had read the comics, I would have been left with countless nightmares. This is one of the goriest, craziest pieces of fiction that I have ever lay eyes on.

The Mask gives one the all the powers of a cartoon character. This might not sound like much, but seriously think about it for a moment. Imagine Bugs Bunny in the real world.

Bug Bunny is a great character and he's absolutely hilarious in almost everything he's in. But he's hilarious because he's a kind of a violent dick.

However all you've ever seen is him being a violent dick to characters that are equally as indestructible as he is. Now imagine him in the real world, an unkillable entity that can break whatever laws of physics he wants surrounded by fragile little humans that he can practically kill with a thought. Now imagine him as a psychotic killer who takes pleasure from nothing but fulfilling his own desires. A true narcissist without any qualms or cares in the world. That is the force of nature that is unleashed when someone dons the mask and takes up the mantle of the Big-Head Killer.

Every time someone has put on The Mask countless corpses were the result. (Except for that one time some teen put it on and formed a metal band. But apparently the fans don't like to talk about that one all that much.) The original wearer of The Mask Stanley Ipkiss, the one some might recognize as the Jim Carrey character, became a homicidal nutjob. He killed anyone and everyone from cops to criminals to random people on the street just to make himself feel better about his crappy life. Then his brains got blown out one day by his girlfriend Kathy, (aka Tina aka Cameron Diaz) when The Mask came off and the thing has been bouncing around between hosts ever since. It was worn by a cop who tried to exterminate all crime in the city, a criminal who tried to become the Kingpin, a woman who decided the best way to end gang wars was to destroy all gangs, and at one point even a bullied little girl who decided her tormenters needed to get their comeuppance. The various killers all share the same name in their world's media, the Big-Headed Killer.

The powers of The Mask are slightly similar to that of the Green Lanterns. It is fueled by one's imagination, giving the wearer access to basically anything they can dream up. This ranges from pulling all kinds of weapons from thin air, shapeshifting, limited super speed/teleportation, and a complete lack of the ability to feel pain or to be mortally wounded. Damage done is patched up almost the instant it happens. The only way to kill someone who uses The Mask is to emulate how Kathy killed Stanley, wait until The Mask is off and blow them away. However, it should be noted The Mask character from the movie and its spinoff cartoon is far more powerful than the original character Big Head. Big Head's reality warping is limited mostly to pulling weapons out of nowhere while Jim Carrey's character seemed to be capable of literally anything. That more comical version won't be appearing here though, if for no other reason than that slapstick doesn't translate to written form quite as nicely as it does to animation. Well…sorta. Given who's here I'm kind of forced to try to mix humor with blood splatter here. The Joker being the Joker, comedy is of course expected, let alone Deadpool.

So with The Mask loose and two of the craziest killers in fiction out and about, just what's going to happen? Here we go!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**IMPORTANT NOTICE: YOU ARE REQUIRED TO IMAGINE THE JOKER WITH MARK HAMILL'S VOICE. NO EXCEPTIONS OR ALTERNATES ALLOWED! **

"Oh Harley dear, how are the costumes coming along? We don't want to be late crashing that party!" The Joker pranced through the run down gag factory with a wide grin. Harley looked up from her workstation with a matching smile. The Joker however caught something in that smile, a slight undertone of nervousness.

"Well, mine's all set and I've gotten Stooges costumes for the hired help just like you said."

"Splendid! How about my costume them?"

"Well…I hit a bit of a snag." Forcing down a sigh the Clown Prince of Crime leveled a neutral stare at his number one assistant.

"Pray tell, just what kind of snag?"

"…My Hyenas kinda ate it. I'm really sorry puddin', I know they didn't mean it. When I found out I ran to the Party Store to try and pick something up but they were all closed up. Then I tried to go to the fabric store to make you something new but the store clerk was rude to me so I burned it down and forgot to get anything. So I ran all around town looking for stuff but then that jerk with the shield showed up again so I had to hide in this old antique shop. So I figured while I was there I'd look around for a costume for you, something old fashion and stuff."

"Old fashion eh? Ooh, I think I can work with something like that. The Samurai clown perhaps? The pale faced 40's hitman rocking the old school suit? The laughing ninja? Oh the suspense is killing me Harels! Whatcha get me whatcha get me?" Harley's smile drooped more and more with each of her lovers enthused guesses. Her eyes downcast, the woman handed over a simple, green wooden mask. The Joker examined the object for a moment, the smile frozen on his face. Harley flinched away in preparation for an oncoming fist.

Instead though, the Joker started to laugh. A true, hysterical laugh to the point real tears were streaming down his cheeks.

"A Jamie Kennedy costume! You got me a Jamie Kennedy costume! You've outdone yourself my dear, this is better than I could ever dream!"

"You really mean that puddin? You like it?"

"Oh Harley dear, haven't you ever seen that flick? It's one of the most terrifying flicks there is! Kids run away screaming at the very sight of his appearance! He's almost as frightening as me for Pete sake! It will be a real honor taking up his mantle!" The Joker snagged the mask with a flourish and slowly brought it up to his face.

Harley let out a scream of horror when the old piece of wood jumped out of the Joker's hand and latched onto his face like a leech, wrapping itself entirely around his head. The Joker's hands grabbed blindly at the Mask in a desperate attempt to rip it off. His efforts were in vain though, The Mask shifted like sand through his fingers until it felt secure, fully attached to a host once more. Harley's eyes bulged as her lover's face was transformed into a giant, bald green monstrosity. Oversized teeth like a horses made up his new lipless smile. The new man glanced down at himself, examining everything from his hands to his feet before cautiously bringing his palms up to explore his new head. Suddenly he dashed forward, shoving Harley out of the way to root through her work space, upturning drawers and tearing apart cupboards. With a grunt of satisfaction he brought out his prize, a small handheld mirror. With wide bloodshot eyes he took in his new look, silent in his observations. Harley climbed back up to her feet but didn't take a step towards him. Instead she trembled in fear at the monster before her, her hand dropping ever so slowly to the pistol at her waist.

"Mis…Misah Jay? Are you in there? Are you okay?" The grinning figure whipped around and Harley shrank back when he approached.

"Am I okay? Am I okay? I'm absolutely fantastic!" The Joker lunged forward and wrapped the startled clown into a massive hug, squeezing her tight. The clown girl let out a loud whoop and squeezed him right back giggling madly.

"Oh Mistah J, I though the Mask might have eaten you! But you're a-okay aintcha? I didn't need to worry!"

"That's right Harley dear, you don't need to worry. If anything, I think this nifty little piece of headwear and I have just come to an agreement. One that I think will be beneficial to the both of us."

"Really? What kind of agreement can you get from a mask?"

"Oh, this isn't just 'a' mask. This is _THE MASK!_ I'm going to have all sorts of fun with this thing! I can't wait until we head on back to Gotham so I can show old Batsy. But first, I think a test drive might be in order. Dear, I know you were very excited for the party but your old Mister J is going to have to go by himself now okay?"

"But…but I spent so much time working on all the costumes. I really wanted to go to the party, are you sure?"

"Sorry dear, you know how us guys are, we need our alone time. But don't you worry, when we get back to Gotham I'll throw you the biggest costume party there ever was!"

"Really? You promise?"

"Cross my heart! I'd hope to die as well, but I'm not so sure I can actually do that anymore. But I Know I'm going to have a laugh finding out! HAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAA!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The party was packed to the brim with heroes. Half a dozen Batmen were facing off with the same number of Supermen on the dance floor while Justice League cameos of all kinds surrounded them. Avengers and X-Men vied for control of the bar, bickering the whole time. And in the middle of it all, a man in a black and red uniform stood smiling under his mask, just taking in all in.

"God I love Tuesdays." Wade Wilson swayed his way through the room, a shot in each hand as he headed back towards his table off in the corner. The mercenary sat there, enjoying the sights and the booze in a happy daze. Watching the ladies try to dance in the same getup as their favorite heroines was always a feast for the eyes. A feast was ruined when some moron with a purple suit and green face shoved himself an inch away from Deadpool's face.

"Hey there buddy!"

"Uh…hi? Dude, you're blocking my view." The man showed no sign of hearing and continued to warble on.

"I love you're costume! Deadpool right? It looks very authentic. Did you make it yourself, or did your mummy help you out?" As he spoke the man's hand darted forward and snagged one of Deadpool's shot glasses and downed it before the mercenary could stop him.

Well okay then. Someone was looking to die.

"Did you seriously just? Really? Alright buddy, I am going to give you one, and only one, warning. Get out of my sight or I'm going to do to you what Paul Feig is doing to Ghostbusters."

"You're gonna turn me into a chick?"

"Four chicks, and not in the good way."

"Meh, as far as castration jokes go, I've heard better." The man's hand snaked out for the second shot but Deadpool batted the hand away and downed the drink himself.

"…Wait are you doing that through your mask? Oh nevermind." The man shrugged and snagged an abandoned beer off a neighboring table. While he did so, Deadpool gave his outfit another once over.

"Alright, I give. I will take the candy from the tiny child and ask. Just what kinda fan headcannon are you dressed up as anyways?"

"Oh, can't you tell? I'm the Joker!"

"…No. No you are not. I'll give you the purple suit, but the Joker green hair, not green skin. And he's not bald. And he has lips. And teeth that don't look like they belong in a horse's mouth. If anything, you're doing a bad Jim Carrey impression."

"What would be a good Jim Carrey impression, hitting on Emma Stone?"

"That might help. Now, I can respect your ability to make references like that. Nobody I ever fight appreciates those, so I'm going to give you a chance to leave before I force you to.

"You know, I came here looking for someone just like you."

"Ok, yeah no. I don't swing that way, despite what the Spideypool crowd might believe… "

"Oh nothing like that chum, that's what my Harley is for!"

"…What?"

"Well I just take a seat on her and she revs up! Anyway, what I actually meant is that I've been looking for someone who can…test me."

"…Okay, respect going bye-bye. If you wanna play Batman nerd trivia then go bother one of the Batmen over there. Actually, first give me some money for the shot you stole, and _then_ you can piss off."

"Oh you're no fun at all are you? You really need to loosen up, have a laugh. But I understand. The problem is that you don't understand. I have failed to elucidate exactly what I am seeking. Now, just so we're completely clear, I've been looking for a near immortal punching bag that I can tear apart over and over again until he's bleed enough to paint an entire city and is begging me for death. Do you know who the lucky winner is? It's you. You're the lucky winner. Smile!" A dozen flowers suddenly grew straight out of the Joker's hands and unleashed a spray of acid like of fire hose. Deadpool's cries of pain were drowned in a mix of red and green liquids as clothes and flesh melted away.

Grinning madly, the possessed clown transformed the flowers into a pair of pistols that he began firing into the air. The effect was immediate and in a screaming mass the partygoers fled the building. Still chucking the Joker turned to watch Wade knit himself back together, wincing slightly as his body took on its normal deformed shape.

"Congrats, you've convinced me you're the Joker and shortened your lifespan by several decades at the same time! You deserve a medal, come here so I can pin it through your heart."

"…sorry, I'm trying to come to terms with the fact I'm fighting a walking tumor. Did you find the ugly stick and shove it up your ass or something? This does raise the question though, how long's the dry spell been? Is it even possible to get any when you look like that?"

"Alright. You sir, have wounded my honor. Prepare for battle." The merc slid out his swords, and slashed at the Joker, who bent backward ninety degrees at the waist, laughing as the katana whipped past his nose. "And for the record, Mr. Flubber-got-freaky-with-my-face, I get plenty. I'm married to the succubus queen of the underworld. That makes me like, well, not king exactly, just someone who runs around drinking and partying throughout that kingdom. Actually maybe I am a king…huh. Anyway, the point is you suck."

"Oh I'm so sure. Hey, were you that Amazing Bagman running around a few years ago? With a face like that it makes the disguise a little more understandable." Joker cackled, stretching his neck backward to avoid a gunshot.

"Well, at least I don't look like something the Hulk shitted out!"

"At least I'm not the one with a stick of dynamite strapped to his back!"

"Wait, what?!"

FWOOSH! Deadpool vanished completely inside a fireball that devoured half of the room. The Joker's laughed echoed through the rafters as the inferno raged. That laughed cut out the instant a knife buried itself into his forehead. Deadpool burst out of the blaze a moment later, a katana in each hand. He swung the weapons in a simple X as he rushed past the insane clown and felt them tear flesh. Then in a single motion he sheathed the weapons, snagged another beer off the table, and waited for the sound of a body hitting the ground. Instead he got the high pitched clattering of metal striking a tile floor. The mercenary turned to see the Joker still grinning at him through the blood dripping down his face and torso. Then the wounds were gone.

There was no sign of healing, one minute the wounds were there and the next they were simply gone. Even the bloodstains and the damage to the purple suit had completely vanished as though Deadpool had never landed a hit.

"Okay, what the shit?"

"Whoo! This Mask is even better than I thought! I didn't even feel that!" Joker brought up a popgun and waved it around as he spoke, his voice rising with every word. "You can't kill me. I'm like Wiley Coyote, no matter what happens I can't die. Unlike that flee bitten vermin, I'm going to murder the bird." The madman pulled the trigger of the popgun and a tiny flag with the word BANG came out of the barrel.

Deadpool stared at the tiny gun and it's little flag for a moment before pulling out his own gun and putting a bullet in the Joker's brain. The clown's head jerked back but beyond that there was no sigh he was even hurt and all traces of the wound vanished into thin air once again. Deadpool blinked.

"Is this how people feel fighting me? Cause it feels like you're cheating."

"Buddy, we're just getting started!" Joker pulled the trigger on the popgun again and the flag shot through the air, flipping around in midair and burying itself pole first into Deadpool's chest. Deadpool stumbled back as he tried to pull the tiny needle from his chest and as a result he missed the Joker hold down the trigger. A flurry of flags suddenly filled the air and slapped against Deadpool's face.

"See, now that's some overkill right there! Why shoot something once when you can shoot it 46 more times! And now, for the finishing touch…explosion!" The tiny BANG on each and every flag suddenly glowing red, even the one that Deadpool had finally managed to pull out of his ribcage.

"Yeah, this seems about right with the day I'm having."

BOOOOM!

When Deadpool had finally managed to pull himself back together the Joker had pulled several bottles out of the wreckage and was rapidly drinking through everything he could.

"Oh, hey there tumor boy! Nice to see you literally pull yourself together. I've been testing to see what happens when a toon in drinking. Apparently I can only get drunk if it would make the situation funny. Isn't that a hoot, every single one of my new powers are based on comedy! It's like my ultimate dream! Well, actually that would be making old Batsie laugh, but this is still pretty good!"

"Buddy, do you know who you're messing with right now?"

"Some overhyped parody who can't tell when his time has passed?"

"Oh yeah! Time to get one thing straight you boogery tweety bird, I'm am one of the hottest pieces of shit on the planet right now! When I put on my Ryan Reynolds costume I created the highest grossing rated R movie of all time! Melissa McCarthy is the best rated R comedian? She can't even match my left nut. I'm the guy that beat Deathstroke in a Deathbattle. I've beaten Dante in Arcade Mode! I kicked your sorry ass in a Super Power Beatdown! And I…I…I rapped with Boba Fett!"

"You hesitated there."

"No I didn't!"

"He kicked your ass didn't he?"

"You know what, fuck this! Hey author, spin my shit!"

**BATTLE MUSIC: Teamheadkick - Deadpool Rap (Movie Version)**

"You know what time it is? It's Deadpool time!" Deadpool fired another bullet straight into the Joker's forehead and then teleported, vanishing from the man's sight before he could recover. The Joker glanced around the room, searching for his opponent when he heard a noise behind him. He whirled around to receive a pair of shivs into each eye. The clown let out a startled cry that was cut off by a katana to the throat. Deadpool brought up a pair machine guns and slammed them barrel first into the man's chest.

"This might not kill you, but at the very least you'll be coughing up bullets for weeks!" The guns fired until they were empty and the Joker's chest looked more like hamburger than actual man. But as before the wounds all vanished and the weapons and ammunition that created them were all immediately forced out of his body. The Joker's fist changed into an electrified knuckle buster that the mercenary easily dodge.

He grabbed the clown's arm and redirected the fist, slamming it straight into Joker's knee. In an instant his other arm was a giant knife that aimed straight for Deadpool's throat. Wade dodge backward and drew his katanna back out to match it. He twirled the blade around in his hand for a few seconds looking for an opening. The Joker matched the movements with his arm, uncaring for the most part of how open he was with his immortality.

Then Deadpool stepped back, pulled out his pistol, and shot the Joker in the crotch.

The green skinned man stared down in disbelief as for the first time since dawning the mask he felt pain. He stumbled backwards, clutching between his legs until the wound vanished.

"Why did that hurt?!"

"You said you wouldn't feel anything unless it was funny, welcome to slapstick buddy. Pain is hilarious. More specifically, your pain is hilarious."

"You're despicable."

"One, saying that makes you Daffy, which means I'm bugs bunny, so suck it. Two, you're about to lose your arm privileges!" The katana blade flashed and the Joker's limb went flying across the room where it was quickly joined by the second. Then a third and fourth. Then a sixth and seventh. The floor was getting sticky with blood as the Merc with a Mouth creative an impressive collections of bloody appendages scattered around the ruined building. The Joker threw out every weapon he could think of; pistols, knives, explosives, joy buzzers, and even a rubber chicken were left lying on the ground as Deadpool disarmed his opponent again and again.

"This is bullshit! This isn't even funny, why the hell is this still working?"

"There's always going to be someone in the audience who will just laugh at anything. How else do you think Adam Sandler stays in business?"

"God damn lowest denominator. Fine then, this Mask responds to me right? To my deepest, darkest desires? Well, right now I want nothing more than to see you blown apart, lying in a pile of your own blood and body parts. So…" A mass of weapons started sprouting out all across the Joker's body. Arms became rocket launched, shoulders spouted mortars. His chest opened up into a tri-barreled grenade launcher while his back was littered with mines. "…let's try this on for size, shall we?"

Deadpool's hand shot to his belt seconds before the entire city block went up in a giant explosion. He reappeared on the rooftop of the miraculous only standing building across the street and watched as the cloud of debris rained back down upon the city.

"As a self-certified badass I know I really shouldn't be looking at the explosion, but I have this sneaking feeling that he's going to pop out of there the second I turn away."

"Or, I've already gotten out, snuck up behind you, and now I'm about to shove a knife in your kidney!" The Joker thrust the weapon forward only to hit nothing but air as Deadpool teleported once again.

"Aww. Bad Joker, don't brag before the sneak attack!" Deadpool teleported a short distance away, just far enough to regain his bearing and catch sight of the psychopathic killer before he teleported right back in and grabbed the Joker by the neck. With another press of a button the pair had vanished, reappearing one mile straight up in the air. Deadpool quickly let go of the Joker again and teleported right back to where he had started. With crossed arms he tracked the Joker's progress as he fell all the way down into the pavement of the street below, vanishing into a deep hole perfectly shaped in like outline of his body.

"I kinda have to respect him. He's really dedicated to the whole cartoon thing." Wade teleported down to street level and reached into his belt. Eventually he fished out a pair of grenades, pulled the pin and lobbed them into the hole. A startled 'Eep!' filled the air before yet another explosion rocked the street. A moment later Joker popped out of the street, his face covered in soot.

"Seriously, you need to drop the cartoon thing. The bloody version of the Mask is way better than the crap you're pulling right now."

"Well excuse a clown for trying to have a good time! Have a heart would you?"

"You're telling ME to have a heart? You're the Joker! I bet when you put that Mask on it just turned to stone inside you!"

"That's…not a bad idea actually. Hang on one sec…" The Joker pulled out his knife and plunged it into his own chest, carving a hole large enough for him to shove his hand inside. He fished around inside his body for a bit, completely ignoring the trail of guts that slowly plopped onto the ground out of the ever growing whole.

"AHA! I think I've got it! Unfortunately, your little guess was off a tad, it isn't a rock. It's just stone cold!" The Joker ripped out his own heart. A pale blue, sick looking slab of meat that continued pumping even when free of its confinement. And then the Joker threw it straight down at Deadpool's feet. The organ ruptured into a cloud of icy blue mist that coated Deadpool's entire lower body. The ice completely covered the mercenary's legs and climbed most of several inches past his waist, leaving him totally trapped. The mutant began flailing around wildly, desperately searching for any way to free himself while the Joker pulled out a small pistol with a ridiculously sized barrel, well over a foot wide.

"Hehehe…did you ever dance with the devil by the pale moon light?"

"Come on, do it! Blow my brains out for the hundredth time, it's not like it will do anything! Come on!" Smiling, the Joker aimed his gun and pulled the trigger. The sound of ice shattering was followed by a wet thump on the ground. Deadpool started screaming.

"AAAAAAH! You just blew off my dick you crazy bastard! Why? Why the hell would you just shoot off my dick?"

"Curiosity mostly. Does that grow back?"

"Yes it grows back, but it's going to take a bit too long for you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, I'm actually supposed to be meeting Shiklah for our personal fun times. You know Shiklah? My wife? The succubus queen of the underworld? Ringing any bells?"

"Wait, you were serious about that?"

"Yeah, and one of the, admittedly awesome, things about succubi is that when you deny them their fun times, they get pretty pissed."

"Pbthbthtbthb." The joke blew a raspberry, "That's it? You can't beat me so you think wife will? That's so sad it's not even funny."

"Honey, what exactly do you think you're doing?"

The Joker turned and froze. Behind him, hands on hips, had to be the most stunning knockout of a woman he had ever seen. Creamy white skin and raven hair gave way to a form fitting purple bodice. A black shroud covered her shoulder, giving her an air of otherworldly mystery that made the Joker feel things he didn't know he could feel.

"Hellloooooooo nurse!" The joker crowed, his body suddenly melting into a pile of goo. All that was left was his face and a couple of hearts floating in the air as he stared at the demoness.

The woman raised a brow.

"Shiklah! It's nice to see you babe."

"You're late for our play date, you didn't forget did you." Her yellow eyes glinted as she glared at the mercenary.

"Babe, you really think I'd forget about you? You're way too hot to ever forget. I would have met you sooner, but I'm afraid Tweety McGee here wanted to play instead." Deadpool gestured at motionless Joker.

"And what exactly is this… thing." The succubus sneered, looking down her nose at the gurgling pile of madness.

"Maniac with a magic mask, makes him unkillable while he wears it, totally copying me. Also, he shot my dick off, so I'm afraid you're going to have to wait like ten minutes."

"Is that so?" She hissed.

The Joker suddenly reformed, popping back up with a loud thwock. "Heya baby how about you and I play a game of patty cake together. Ditch the tumor boy, and spend some time with a real man." He panted, waggling his eyebrows.

Shiklah raised a single elegant brow. Then smiled.

"Oh my, that is a tempting offer."

"You know it honey legs!"

"But, do you think you could do one thing for me?" She asked, tilting her head down and staring at him demurely through her eyelashes.

"Anything for you hot stuff."

"Tear your own face off."

"Okay!" The Joker grabbed his face and pulled with all his might. With a disturbing boinging noise the mask popped off.

"There you go sexy legs, now how about...wait why did I do that?"

Shiklah slammed her fist in the Joker's stomach and twisted, causing the clown prince of crime to gasp and cough up blood.

"Because you are a pathetic weak little man." Shiklah sniffed. Dropping him to the ground, she stepped over him and sashayed over the still trapped mercenary. She shattered the ice with a kick, and hoisted him into the air, throwing him over her shoulder. "Come husband, we have five minutes to find a private bedroom before I have my way with you."

"If my dick wasn't currently splattered across the pavement, I would have such a boner right now." Deadpool sighed happily.

"I know."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Here's the problem with having two characters that are essentially immortal fight it out. Nobody wins until a third party intervenes. The two would just keep slugging it out forever with no winner in sight otherwise. The Joker has the advantage with the fact that he can't really feel pain and that he can pop whatever weapon he needs out whenever he needs it. Deadpool was the advantage of speed from his ninja training, a teleport belt that beats all the teleportation/speed feats that I could find for the mask, and a massive skill advantage. The Joker isn't really much of a physical fighter, he never has been. His game has always been about psychological trauma and strategy, hand to hand combat is not his specialty. So if the two can't kill one another and we are forced to go on this just by who has the better backup, I think the Succubus Queen trumps anything that the Joker can call to the field. So in the end, Deadpool (sorta) wins. Well, as much as you can win when you are sitting around waiting for your balls to regenerate.

Now then, I said I had two more chapters to do before this story goes on hiatus again?

**TEASER 1: **

"Freeze creep! You have the right to remain silent!"

VS  
"This is the law. Negotiations are over. The sentence is death."

**TEASER 2: **

"Water…Earth…Fire…Air"

VS

"W, B, Y, and their fearless leader R begin their next mission! Banzai!"


End file.
